Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 3 - all welcome

[Caitni]

Right ladies, time for a new thread.

And a big welcome to everyone . Here's to many more success stories and healthy pregnancies!

Hi all, sorry for no personals today, I'll have to catch up with you all soon. (thanks Duplo!)

My MIL was staying with us over the last few weeks (visiting from Michigan for a few months) she passed away yesterday. We're at peace with it, because she died peacefully in her sleep - she was only 78, but very frail and had some respitory issues. We're flying to Michigan for a week to return her remains and visit with family.

My consultant asked if we still wanted to start this cycle of meds - and we agreed to continue. CD2 and starting follistrum. I also clarified the price of IVF with them, seems the 'second hand' information I was given on price was a bit off - the office said the cost was more like 13,500-15,000 but could go up to 20k depending on the meds. Sorry for causing a rumble about prices!

Wishing you all a great week of positive tests, scan results, and happy frolicking! I'll be around for a couple of days until we can wrap things up here then fly out.

Hello all,

I recognise lots of you from various threads, special hello to lottie and congrats!!

After 2.5 years of TTC with one MC along the way, a diagnosis of endometriosis and a very slightly 'off' sperm test we are on the road to assisted conception. Am nervous as hell and very apprehensive but also excited. We have been recommended to have 3 cycles of stimulated IUI which we will start in August/September but am very interested to see if anyone here has had IUI (with or without meds) and what your experiences of it was?

We have an open meeting at our clinic on Thursday followed by a visit to the wank room for DH then time to set a date for starting a cycle. Am doing research in the meantime!!!

m2olivia Best of luck with IUI - I'm currently starting cycle 5 of IUI with meds. They have slowly increased the protocol of medications each cycle. Started out with 50mg Clomid and went up from there. If you have any questions, just let me know. Lots of wisdom and support here on this thread!

Hello all! Back from 2 week's holiday and feeling mostly relaxed and even slightly tanned, which is most unusual for pale-skinned me (normally I just look mottled and blue )

A little late, but huge congratulations on your happy news Caitni!!! Fantastic news, I'm so pleased for you!

Bumpless, you probably won' be reading this now as you're off in France, but I just wanted to say that after much soul-searching I told my mother last week about the IVF and the news that if the next cycle doesn't work we will be looking probably at donor eggs (my ovarian reserve/AMH test was fairly dismal, as I suspected ). I was very against telling her because she is another who somehow manages to make everything all about her, but she was really, really good about it, and promised faithfully that she wouldn't press me for news, she'd wait until I told her what was happening (a key concern of mine). So, best of luck with whatever you decide to do, and also with thinking about your options - I'm there myself at the moment too, and it's certainly not an easy thing.

Otherwise, hi to all, I'll have to go and have a proper read of the thread to find out what I've missed out on!

Oh, and Islegrin, I'm so very sorry to hear about your MIL, even if not unexpected it must have been a very hard thing to go through for you both. I hope some family time helps you all.

Hi everyone, day 9 in the 2ww house. which i, not so cleverly, calculated is actually day 11 for the embryos!!! if they exist of course.
Islegrin so sorry for your loss, especially as she was living with you. hope you guys are ok.
Welcome mummy2olivia. i recognise your name from other threads. good luck with iui.

had slightly strange situation this evening. some v v v light pink bleeding when i wiped. it is far too early for period. it never comes early and i am on progesterone so it should hold off until nearly the weekend, yes? any chance it is implantation or the deadly af?

Duplo i am impressed with my discipline too, but i will remind you that it is only day 9 and there is every possibility that i will cave at any time. it helps that i have not bought any tests and only have the one that the hosp gave me, which i have trained myself not to touch, it does not belong to me and i should respect other people's property or something like that. but i dont like surprises either. i have kept myself really busy this week, fingers crossed for next week.
good luck everyone, with tests, consultations, meds, review consultations and 2ww.

Morning ladies

Ailz day ten in the TWW house for you now! About the testing I was told 14-16 days post egg collection and I tested 14 dpo. I'm not sure why there's such a variance in test dates as once the trigger shot is out of your system it should be OK to test. I guess they want to try and spare any heartache at women testing too early and getting false negatives (I do know of women who tested too early, got a negative result and then got a positive result on their original test date). Your advice tallies with mine really, as you had a day 2 transfer didn't you? So 14 days post-ET would be 16 days post-EC. How are you feeling otherwise? Hope time isn't going too slowly!

Lottie I've also been (trying) to hold the odds in mind when thinking about the first scan, as statistically it's more likely to be good news than not. Can't believe you're at 11+5 already - I bet it hasn't felt like it to you but time has flown! I'm only 4+6 but I'm already realising that other people's pregnancies go much faster than your own . Whether to go private for the nuchal scan depends on whether you want loads of waiting around on the day, as I wouldn't expect there to be any difference in the quality of the scan you'd get. My instinct would be to say relax and go with the system (but then I don't know what your friends' experiences are!).

Duplo those lifestyle changes sound excellent. As a wannabe beekeeper (my dad kept bees when I was growing up) that apimist stuff sounds amazing. I've also heard good things about that book you've ordered. I've also heard good things about a book called the infertility cure (it's about using traditional chinese medicine to help). Good luck for Thurs - let us know what the doctor advises for your next cycle .

Bumpless yay for the new cycle! It's great that you'll be starting so soon - I'm very excited for you . And I hope you have a good farewell to the wine+chocs (when I typed that emoticon I actually typed initially and then thought "god, it would be so handy to have a proper wine emoticon" ). Have a good time in France!

Mummy2Olivia hello and welcome . I've had no experience of IUI but the other ladies on here should be able to help. The fertilityfriends website is also a wealth of info and it has a whole part of the talk board dedicated to IUI.

Islegrin I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL's death - what awful shocking news . I'm sorry you've had to deal with this, on top of everything you're already dealing with, so I hope spending time with family in Michigan helps. You're in my thoughts (((hugs)))

NPA welcome back! Very impressed at your tan . Sorry to hear your AMH results weren't great but I'm glad that you mother surprised you with her reaction. Every bit of support helps to get through this. Do you have a plan for your next cycle?

Big waves to Flibberty Mowmi Gilly Issy and anyone I've missed. Hope everyone's well

Hi caitni, yes day 10 in 2ww house. i am not going too mad actually. but i am getting a bit negative now. cant help it. i get really positive and REALLY negative. i just dont know how we will accept bad news. i just dont know. went to dd tumbletots class today, babies babies everywhere and bumps too, for good measure. it always gets me a bit hot and bothered, as i have definitely mentioned on this thread before.
have some dark brown bleeding at moment. quite light, but still there since yesterday. i am worried because i used to have this before an af, but never with progesterone. when i took progesterone with clomid it stopped. Could it be implantation? oh dear jesus i hope so.
My dh went out at weekend with old friends. one has child 6 months older than ours and has not had another. he asked my dh about the exact age of our dd, and they both looked at each other knowingly. he is obviously having problems having a second, but they are men and would never dream of discussing it. another friend who went out with them has been married almost 3 years and have no children, he became very very angry and defensive when a childless, unmarried and insensitive friend asked why on earth they had no children yet! imagine!
so my dh is feeling like we are in the middle of an epidemic. he was absolutely dreading that first friend announcing a pregnancy. he almost didnt want to go out! because that is what happened to me a few weeks earlier.
a former colleague of mine whose dd is same age as mine (also has a son) is quite insensitive too. she visited on friday and asked me about my ttc (doesnt know i have tried ivf) when i brushed it off, she said that i should 'do it' with her husband and i would definitely get pregnant! i didnt laugh, but told her that my husband's sperm is absolutely fantastic thank you and our infertility is unexplained. i was livid. she then said we obviously were not doing it enough. i almost got up and walked out of my own house at that remark. so insensitive. it doesnt take much to wind us up at the moment. she is a person who gets pg the very moment she tries, ie her honeymoon night. she then proceeded to look through a next catalogue and say she wanted to have a girl next and picked out all the outfits that she would by, pointing them out to me, then said "i couldnt just stop at one more could i? no i will have to have 2. 4 children imagine! great". i stared at her. bear in mind that she knows all about our ttc for 2 years. so we have a lot to deal with on our 2ww.

Thanks Lottie. sorry you are feeling rough,i remember the feeling well and i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. of course that 'friend' never had any MS with her two kids. My dh said the same as you. the thing is, she and her husband have so many problems you wouldnt believe, marriage, money, house, no social life whatsoever, badly behaved kids, but i never make negative comments on her personal life. all i do is sort out her problems, tell her kind things, entertain her kids in my house (they lived in tiny apartment with no garden, so came to mine to play) and she treats me this way. so she obviously needs to grasp onto other peoples problems to make herself feel better.
hope you are feeling better. keep the sugar levels up x

about the plan, sorry forgot to put that bit in! yes we intend to go for ivf again, will certainly do 3 cycles if we need it. though we are dreading starting again. purely psychological. the thought of starting again is horrendous.

Ladies
Am on quick as I run to make a curry (in this heat!! - I hear you cry, yes, for some reason apparently I want one!)

LL re private nuchal -- much preferred route for me, I had it with DD as the NHS didn't do it then, and went for NHS one with this PG. To say they brutalised me is an understatement. I spent an hour in agony squeezing the living daylights out of DH's fingers as sonographer tried to get a reading on their piece of poo equipment. The private one was lovely and relaxing and just a joy.

Islegrin - sorry to hear about MIL, my thoughts are with you both.

NPA - glad the "talk" with your mum went well.. they always surprise you, if you need any info on donor eggs -- let me know.. have been down the route successfully twice and know it like an old friend

Right sorry this is short, will try and catch up with personals, but I am absolutely knackered, hot and sweaty and have a hot date with a cold bath or something similar.

take care all xxx

Ailz - The nerve of that woman! UGhhh, I wanted to tell her off for you! So sorry about that, just try to keep her at arms length for the time being. It's important to keep your environment as happy and positive as possible!

LL Sorry you are feeling terrible, second trimester is just around the corner, should hopefully give you a break - I can't wait to hear more about your lovely TWINS!!! (I'm still so happy for you)

Curry?? CURRY? OH that sounds fabulous! I wish I had a place close to work to get a lunch plate of curry - intead, probably just a sandwich or salad for me.

Well - I'm on CD4 and 150iu injections of FSH, straight from CD2-CD8. More aggressive than the other protocols I've tried, so we should expect more than ONE follicle, but I have no idea HOW MANY! (I can't wait to find out - I've been trying to look it up on the internet, but no one will hazard a guess.) It turns out I will have to have my day 10 scan while I'm in the mainland. So I'm busy arranging things between here and there.

It's very sad about my MIL, but if you could pick any way to go - that's one of the best. The initial shock is over now, now we just miss her. In retrospect, I'm so glad we got everything arranged so that she could make the trip home with me for this visit. My DH would have been crushed if he hadn't had a chance to see and visit with her one last time. Just pressing on, thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and well wishes. They do mean a lot!

Aloha

LL oh just fine, thanks. the bleeding stopped completely last night, but a bit again this morning - very very dark (brown almost black)and not too much. dont really know what to think. its definitely not normal af, however what makes me uneasy is that i had short luteal phase (self-diagnosed) and used to have smililar bleeding before af for about 5 days. so now i am concerned that it will be followed by af. however i never had the bleeding on progesterone before. bit puzzled really. bit of a tense time! Islegrin i agree thati should keep her away from me, my dh tells me this all the time. i will. i agree you need to keep positive at this time. i couldnt hazard a guess at your follicles unfortunately! it is a waiting game this assisted conception lark! a few more days to go! give your dh another hug from all of us, that is quite a hug!

Afternoon ladies

Ailz [horror] at that so-called friend! I would seriously want to limit the amount of time I spent with her if I was you - hate to sound harsh but sounds like she's using you a bit (you get to advise her on her problems and her kids get to enjoy your garden while she dismisses your own problems - not a good, balanced friendship in my book!). And your poor DH, I was quite moved by that exchange of knowing looks...it's easy to forget how much this impacts on the partners too . Still, fingers crossed that the spotting you had was implantation and I've got a good feeling for you testing this Saturday .

Flibberty I love a curry in the heat (as long as I've got some yoghurt or something cool) so reading that has actually made me want a curry! Hope you're not suffering too much in this heat. Cold bath sounds divine! Had to buy some more black knickers on Sat as am sticking to your wise advice about black knickers until the first trimester ends .

Isle I'm glad your MIL didn't suffer - it is the "best" way to go in my opinion - but it's still a shock and hard for you and your DH. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you have a good response to the new drug protocol . I think it's lovely that you're continuing to with this cycle. Trying to make a new life is a special thing, but a bereavement reminds you just how special it is...

Lottie how are you feeling my dear? Did you make a decision on NHS vs private nuchal? Hearing Flibberty's experience made me think private sounds better. Also, wanted to give you a virtual pat on the back for your defence of fertility awareness methods/charting on that anovulation thread. Annoys me that Attila tries to use her experience as "normal" for anyone who takes longer than five mins to conceive and tries to discourage women from charting. I think TCOYF should be on the national curriculum!

As for me, I thought I had a conception indicator test left so this morning (at 5am ) I couldn't sleep so I snuck off to the bathroom only to be confronted with a plain old "pregnant". Was bleary-eyed and felt like a dork . So bought some at lunch time just tested and it's gone up to "2-3 weeks" which reassures me a bit that things are progressing as normal. Only 5 weeks today so still feeling quite unreal. Roll on two weeks today when I have my first scan [nervous emoticon]. My mum last night was reassuring me that she didn't get any MS with any of her pregnancies so not to feel bad if I got none but she did give me (another) lecture about giving up alcohol (this seems to be the main pregnancy advice she's given me so far...methinks me mama thinks I'm a lush ).

LL glad you got the package, hope something is suitable. also sounds like your NHS are geared up for Nuchal's. WOW they indicated sex at 12 weeks, the earliest my private blokey will do it is 14 weeks as that is when you are supposed to be able to tell. will you find out the sex? I had to find out with both of mine. Guess my big surprise was a BFP and I needed to get organised ( read control freak!)

caitni - glad the indicator is going up, it is v v v reassuring and LOL at the black knickers thing.. my legacy, alas!

ailz fingers crossed for you sweetie.

islegrin -- sending you positive vibes for this iui

No hot curries for me tonight, just a BBQ homemade burger . Went to work today, as I felt that I would fare better in the AC than 32 degrees.

Right got a hot date with my bed. Have kicked out DH into spare room and have a lovely double bed all to myself!!!

hugs to you all xxx

Lottie thanks for that link - SO interesting! I've always been a bit about the listeriosis (sp?) risk since I remember learning at school what a serious and (thankfully) rare condition it is now. On Monday my GP reeled off a list of things to avoid and mentioned honey, at which point I had to contradict him. He said "no, honey's definitely not allowed because of spores". I told him that I'd already checked the gov website and it specifically states honey is fine. We agreed to disagree . I don't use sugar, only honey, and there's no way I'm giving it up! Seems like there's so much hocus pocus and faddishness about this and I'm glad Zoe Williams (who I love!) is trying to balance the scales . And good plan about your nuchal scan - I wonder if they'll be able to sex the babies! It seems so early but it would be amazing if they could at least give you an idea

Flibberty I'm loving the AC at work. It's a shock going out at lunch time and realising quite how scorchio it is out there!

Ailz & Isle hope you're doing well today.

Sooty how are things with you? Have you started tx yet?

Waves to everyone else

dont have time to properly reply to everyone for a while, but Caitni i believe you are right on the honey. you cant give it to babies before they are 2 i believe. doc is getting mixed up.

Well i caved and did a test and got bfn today. it was a cheapie from an old box i had in bathroom. didnt think i had any and found it there, bad idea. anyway it is 12 days since ET. what are my chances. dont have any symptoms, except mega headaches for 2 days and v tired (but i put both down to combination of heat and stress of situation, though getting lots of sleep at night)
What do you ladies think of my chances? is af due as normal on day 14 or should i expect delays. or should it be today if it was 2 day transfer? havent told dh, he would be too sad. going to test with digital ones tomorrow or is it bad idea?

Hi all, I've been a bit quiet licking my wounds, but now waiting for my period to arrive so I can jump back on the wagon (I don't downreg). Have been a little bleary eyed watching Wimbledon until the wee hours and am rooting for that Scottish Player of yours (now that Little Leyton is out of the picture).

Thanks for that link LL to Zoe Williams, very interesting. The better 'safe than sorry' line at any cost to women is a prevalent theme. There are some very interesting studies coming out about the benefits (or not) of mammograms. . . seems they may provide no benefit at all, but give 25% of women (over a ten year period) a false positive - enter panic, surgery and unnecessary chemo stage right. And good on you Caitni for standing up to your Doctor, they are so word of god sometimes and as Zoe Williams pointed out - who would you trust, your local midwife or an extensive study! I think IVF brings all these issues to mind for us because we have to really engage with our own health in a way that most people don't.

Okay, well enjoy the heat you guys, slip slop slap on the sunscreen, drink lots of water and keep out of the tube and you'll be fine!