Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 3 - all welcome

[Caitni]

Right ladies, time for a new thread.

And a big welcome to everyone . Here's to many more success stories and healthy pregnancies!

CONGRATS CAITNI!!!! So happy for you!!!! Sticky bean, sticky bean, sticky bean! Just awesome!

Caitni - Well done - fantastic news!!

Summer - I have PCOS and started with long protocol but it didn't work for me (ovaries didn't wake up during stimming) next 2 were antagonist cycles (no down reg) and worked much better both times. Think I started on day 2 or 3? Hope this helps?

Hello ladies, don't you miss a lot in internet avoidance mode!

Caitni MASSIVE HUGE CONGRATULATIONS, this is wonderful wonderful stuff! You must be weak with relief. Loads of sticky vibes heading your way! LoL at your DH knowing it all along... Somehow, every BFP on this thread makes me feel it'll work for the rest of us, quite unlike pg news in the outside world!

Thanks also for letting me know about the Create clinic in Harely St, I couldn't find that on their website so had assumed they only had the west London one, which would be hard for me to get to. I have a good fertility acupuncturist but I'm seeing her more like fortnightly than weekly, I wonder if I should up it...

Gilly my husband had to overcome massive reservations about injecting me (I meanly made him do it for the whole stims course, on the grounds that he had to be involved and why should I do all the work). He was white as a sheet and literally shaking the first time, but he got very good at it. Perhaps you could get him to practice on an orange or something first? I'm so glad you had a decent review appointment - and your account has given me some pointers about what to ask at mine on Thursday!

Aliz and Caitni, I chuckled at the descriptions of your mothers praying for your agnostic teapot selves! we're going to stay with my folks next week (they live in France) and will tell them that we've been TTC and about the failed IVF attempts. So far we haven't told parents, partly because I don't trust my MIL not to turn it into a drama and if I'm not letting DH tell his I shouldn't tell mine! But I know my mum noticed me not drinking last time they stayed with us, just when we started the last cycle, and now she's probably thinking I'm pg and getting all excited, so I need to tell her. Plus, one of the things on the table now is donor eggs, and I'd like to discuss how they'd feel about accepting an unrelated child as their grandchild, if we go down that route. Flibberty, I'd be really interested to know whether that was something that was a concern for you? I'm kinda dreading the whole conversation, as I know mum will get upset that it's not working for us and so will I, and then it'll be this massive THING hovering around in every conversation forever afterwards...

Iselgrin, I'm shocked by the treatment costs you're up against. Both cycles here have been around £5k, possibly slightly over as I'm on the max doses which is expensive, but nothing like what you've been quoted. I know what you mean about having to time the conversations with your DH to when he's ready to think about that bit - mine currently isn't ready to think about donor eggs but after 2 failed cycles I'm starting to want to talk about it ... we'll get there!

Summer, both my IVFs have been the short protocol, starting stims on D2. The main thing I find with it is that it's really hard to plan unless your cycle is completely predictable, as you literally have to drop everything and start with one day's notice when AF turns up! the first time, I had arranged a week off work and lots of stuff, and AF was late and the whole lot went into chaos! However, it's a good exercise in zen priority-setting

Sooty, good luck with the next cycle - hope I'll be joining you soon!

And everything crossed for the 2WW Ailz, it's ghastly isn't it!

LL, I was so glad to come back and see you still posting here! You're the queen of the thread and it would be so weird if you weren't here. The cramping and bleeding sounds terrifying, thank goodness you could get a quick scan and see the squidges doing OK!

I've been skulking and licking my wounds for the last couple of weeks. It's been useful to have the time, and with our review appt in 2 days I think our minds are more or less made up that we'd like to try another cycle. Although it's with rather a heavy heart! I spent 4 days wallowing in post-BFN blues and was just about coming out of it when a very dear friend called me, all atizz, to tell me she was pregnant. She had been due to start IVF at my clinic at the same time as me, and had hit delays (I thought) but actually was pg naturally. She was so worried about upsetting me that I went into 'ooh it's marvellous' overdrive and spent 30 minutes on the phone being excited for her, and when DH came in to tell me how pleased he was that I was taking it so well, he found me in a sobbing heap, unable to move for an hour. It's so crap that something so lovely makes things worse rather than better - I've got to a point where I feel everyone should go through TTC hell just to appreciate what they've got - not v logical, I know!

Perfectly logical Bumpless. What bloody annoying timing for you. Glad you're starting to come out of things.

Caitni - I think the way you opened this thread was your good luck charm.

Think I've got PMT - bollocks

xx

CAITNI -so pleased for you, congrats. here's to the scan in a few weeks time honey

LL - when i went into HM regent st, they had stuff up to a size 22. WTF was she talking about? - nonsense, by the sounds of things. My HM in Reading stocks up to size 20. Its not London, but it is 30mins on straight train from Paddington if desperate! mamas and papas on Regent st has loads of stuff in it as does their website and try New look too, Marks and Spencers. Online try, La redoute, Vertbaudet, Crave, Blooming marvellous, seraphine. Invest in some belly bands, they are awesome for that inbetween stage when your trousers wont do up properly, but mat clothes are still a bit big. Check out Mcare too.

Ailz -- the clinc I went to was the SIMS Clinic in Dublin. I used to live there. www.sims.ie. Dr Walsh is an absolutel angel and so are his staff and they have a great success rate.

Islegrin - 15/20k sterling is high for IVF in the UK. ours cost 12k euro with egg donation and drugs in ireland. I am due in 9 weeks and we were successful on both attempts first time with FET thawed to blasts.

Bumpless -- There was never any question over ED for us, simply cos we had no choice and I wanted to bear my child. Adoption was our last route. My mum, family, brothers have had no emotional issues with it. My mum treasures my dd like you wouldn;t believe as do the rest of my family, she is our little miracle. It is a tough decision to make when you do have eggs. but recently one of my friends made the decision and she said the relief was huge, once made. As I have said before, all someone is giving you is a cell, your body turns that into a pregnancy, your body, blood, emotion will nourish it for 9 months and then you (if you choose to) will nourish it via Breast feeding and simply being the baby's mummy. I had some emotional bumps at about 20wks with DD -what if she hated me etc when she was older. but I found the Donor Connections Network a help in sorting out my head. We have decided to tell our children, simply because everyone knows what we have been through and I don't believe in secrets that can turn around and bite you. Plus I am not ashamed of anything, but rather proud of my body for creating her and our baby bump. . I love her so much, i have never once questioned our decision to go down this route. SImply because it was the right decision for us. It has enabled me to achieve my dream of having a family. So, I guess, I am a bit of an advocate. Probably, annoyingly so to many people. I wish you luck in your decision. I think you will find that your mum will be understanding for you and her hurt will come from your hurt as you will need to grieve for not having your "own" child through this process. I had to do that when I had cancer. that is natural, but you have a path to achieve your family and that is important. There were times when I wonder what my genetic child would have looked like. But that is less and less now. Weirdly, somtimes it is the husbands that have an issue with it more than the women, something to do with the fact that they chose to procreate with a certain woman and the baby is not genetically related to the woman. again probably goes to prove how sensitive our little men are. I am here if you need to chat more about it or want to find out what i went through.. hugs to you for making your decision xxxxxx

I agree with bumpless i feel so happy for people's bfps on this thread, but not in the real world! strange isnt it? it is like the women on here actually deserve it or something. makes me feel like it will work for me too. imagine how disheartening it would be if no one on this thread ever got bfps! we live for it! I am so sorry you are feeling nervous about telling your mum. i dont know your mum obviously, but i think you may be underestimating her. i have severely done that in the past and been so shocked at her excellent reactions, not just with infertility. and please please dont look at the donor eggs like it wont be your real child or their grandchild, because when it happens you really wont be able to think of anything but joy that you are having a real, live baby! that is what i think anyway and i have given it all a lot of thought, a lot, a lot! it will be your child no matter how anyone feels and the only feelings that really count are yours and your dh. massive luck telling family x and the 2ww is absolutely ghastly alright, day three in the 2ww house and no one has killed anyone yet!, tick tock. every one of us go through the friend getting pregnant thing and it never gets easier, here's to you getting past it, start again all positive and happy (well maybe not happy)xx
oh yes lottie the hormones! well you may not wear them in real life, but you can wear them while on MN! maternity clothes shopping is horrendous! however, just to make you feel worse, it is a lot worse when you have the baby and still cant get into your clothes for about 6 months! sorry! oh so pessimistic me.
Thanks Flibberty i will look into it. i used to live in dublin too.

Afternoon ladies

Duplo good to hear from you sweetie. I'm glad you're sorting things out but understandable to take a break from here for a while. But remember we're here for you whenever you need us

Summer I'm afraid I don't know much about the short protocol only that it can work well with PCOS ladies. To be honest, I really didn't like downregging...I found the sniffs harder to do than the injections. Which sounds weird I know but it never felt like I was doing it right...anyway, if I could of skipped any bit of the drugs then it would have been downregging! But really hoping you don't need to get to the IVF stage although I understand the need or desire to try and find out about future options, so you're mentally ready when it comes around. Fingers crossed it's not PMT you're feeling xx

Ailz I must admit to a huge sigh of relief that the evil TWW ended so I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and hoping you get the same result soon. 4th of July - a lovely independent day to test . I had no symptoms to speak of, as I think the sore, full boobs are from the progesterone. I've been tired (lots of comedy yawning in meetings ) but I think that was the stress of waiting to test and not sleeping well. But I did have the odd twinge down low in my abdomen - nothing painful but just enough to make me go "oh!" - and that did make me wonder a bit. The TWW is hard though, as anything little thing makes you think "oh what was that?"...sounds like your DD is keeping you busy though (I think the ballet dress and wellies is too too cute! Maybe she'll grow up to be a stylist as that sounds like an outfit some of my "fashion" friends would wear, especially with Glasto nearly upon us!).

Bumpless hello m'dear . I know your pain on not telling the in-laws. My MIL is lovely but has a tendency to make everything about her (well, about her reaction to things) so from the outset I didn't want to tell her. We've now decided to tell them after the first scan and I'm still a bit about it (but I guess telling them after the birth isn't an option!). Initially didn't want to tell my mum either, as decided that her religion (she goes to mass every day) would mean she has a problem with IVF...of course I was completely underestimating her as it turns out she has friends who's kids have gone through similar struggles and she was actually way more knowledgeable than I expected. So good luck telling your mum - hope she pleasantly surprises you too . Can't really add anything about donor eggs, other than I agree that carrying and birthing and raising a child is much more important and my own logic is similar to Lottie's re adoption and donor eggs. The success rates for donor IVF are the same as whatever age the donor is so it does give excellent chances of success. But it's a big decision and only one that you can make. Remember we're here for you anytime you want to talk about it. I'm sorry to hear about your friend's news upsetting you (god, we've all been there ) and it's a totally understandable reaction in my book. It's normal and acceptable to be sad for you and your DH as well as being happy for your friend. In fact I think it's testament to your strength of will and lovely personality that you were even able to go into enthusiastic mode at all.

Lottie god, sounds like a horrible experience at Gap! And totally illogical re sizing. Stoopid shop! Good idea about a dressmaker

Big waves to Islegrin Gilly Sooty Flibberty and anyone I've not mentioned by name

Thanks for all your good wishes - I've been attempting to post since yesterday but work's been busy - it really means a lot to have congratulations from you since you're the ones who really understand what the assisted route is like. It's starting to sink in but it still feels quite strange and unreal too. I've got a scan on 14th July as I couldn't fit it in the week before as one of my best friend's is visiting and I'd rather not have to disappear off in the middle of the afternoon for a "doctor's app" as I don't want to tell her yet. So it's my own fault when I'm 6 weeks and moaning about a scan as I volunteered to have one at 7 weeks! I've also booked in to see the GP on Monday (mainly as the nurse as my clinic advised trying him for an NHS prescription for the progesterone). Other than that feels very strange and unreal. We've got quite a busy few weeks between now and the scan with various people visiting so am hoping that helps with time passing .

Caitni xx

Sorry Lottie realised I cut off the sentence about the dressmaker . Sounds like a good idea, although some wrap dresses may help see you through for a while too?

Thanks for your kind words and thoughts. talked to dh about it at length and only came to the conclusion that we are s**ing it for 4 July! sorry. i agree about the sore boobs, the progesterone is doing it and they are massive too. weird. although the funny feelings down below (pulsating above the pubic area) can be seen as a genuine symptom, (esp in second pregnancy as you are more sensitive and have no muscles left!) but i dare not tell dh that! he gets his hopes up so high. i literally stop mid-sentence and change the subject when i think he will read too much into things, but he knows i am doing it and makes me say it anyway! when i was pg first time, i had a savage appetite (didnt know i was pg- typical!) and had really sore boobs, so he watches out for these all the time. I just give him a look and he comes down from his horse very quickly!
Yes dd may just be a fashionista one day or a ballerina, not sure! the wellies are a staple fashion item in our house for some reason, she just thinks you cannot go into a garden without them on, even in June.
oh dum de dum dum dum, dee dee dee, sorry just trying to entertain myself for 2 weeks! hee hee sorry.
you are funny arranging scan for 7 weeks, when you are already dying of anticipation! you may have nausea by then. although absolutely no one that i know, who has been pg, has had morning sickness. except my poor sister, who spontaneously vomits with no warning, into bins, on her balcony, into plastic bags. she literally gets one second to prepare and start running. it is quite funny, though not for her. i hope you dont get it, but the symptom is nice for one day, you feel pg, but you get over it very quickly!

one more thing Caitni, forgive me for forgetting, but how many ivf cycles did you do overall?

Lottie thanks for reassurance re 7 weeks - am hoping there'll be a heartbeat(s) which would stop me having to pay for another scan later on. Am trying (unsuccessfully!) to ignore it at the moment as I know know more than is probably healthy about what can go wrong at this stage. And since twins is more likely than not at this stage I may well be joining you in that .

Ailz this was my first attempt. That does sound funny about your sister although I feel bad writing that as it must have been utterly horrible for her! Your test date is more than 2 weeks after egg collection isn't it? There seems to be a huge variance in test dates (from my lurking on the cycle buddies thread on FF) so your clinic may well be on the conservative side.

Waves to everyone else

Hi everyone
Lottie and Caitni i have been told to test 14 days after ET and WARNED NOT to test before that date. i am a bit nervous that if i do test before that day that i will get a false result. imagine! what day did you test? For some reason i thought you were on second cycle Caitni, i get all confused, i think i need a little notebook beside the computer! that is fantastic about first cycle. i am pondering whether to tell my dh that, it may just get hopes up. what am i like? Hope you are both doing well. i dream about being pg every night lately and egg collection too. torture! anyway hi to everyone else today. terrible about michael jackson, was a great fan of his music but not his personal life, like everyone else i think.

Hey ladies
Bored stuck at my desk.

Just on the testing stuff. First IVF, I was everso good and didn't test until OTD. BUT. I had tingling nipples, sickness and horrific tiredness during the last 3 days of the 2WW and my mum just told me i was pg as I had the same symptoms as her. I also had an implantation bleed

This time around, I tested early, about 4 days early and I got such a faint line that I wasn't sure it was a BFP. Again, I had the tingly nipples, but not so much of the tiredness or the sickness. Didn't get an implantation bleed. The line got stronger and then i did a digital test which stated the bloomin' obvious.

I am sending you all the positive vibes in the world and hope those beanies stick

right need to go the loo.. and then buggering off for the day. lottie will be shoving clothes in post for you tomorrow

hugs all xxxxx

thanks lottie for lovely wishes. hope you M Sickness is abating? how many weeks now, i am useless at keeping peoples dates and details in my head. i am not even 100% sure how many weeks my sister is, i think it is 19. no head for these things!
Flibberty i was wondering if you had any symptoms before you tested positive? i heard the progesterone caused the sore boobs, which i have. i just cant really remember the earliest symptoms i had when i was pg. i didnt know til about 6 weeks gone, so i just had to remember the obvious (i couldnt believe i missed the horrendously huge appetite and sore boobs) morning sickness started about 6/7 weeks.
I had to put poor dd in front of the tv today at 4 pm and beg her to kindly watch it while mummy sleeps. just sat on the couch and took about 10 one minute naps. horrors. i couldnt keep my eyes open. there is no explanantion for it. poor child. have lovely weekend everyone.

Hi everyone, sorry I have not been around lately, I just have very little time to go online(dd goes to bed at 9 at the earliest and then I still have to eat dinner and tidy up..) and I used up my half hour of internet time to do some unscientific research on what I can do to improve my chances.

Ailz extreme tiredness is a really good sign I think, a lot of my friends had that as first pg sign. I'm impressed at you not testing before the 4th, I would cave long before that, but I just don't like surprises.

How are you Caitni, feeling any symptoms yet? It's probably a good idea having your scan at 7 weeks, that way you will see so much more on the scan. Hopefully with your busy social life the next two weeks will not move too slowly.

lottie when is your nunchal scan, can't be long now? Is your morning sickness getting any better? I think mine was around until I was 16 weeks, but I only started getting sick at 10 weeks pg. sorry to hear you're having such a frustrating time shopping for clothes, I think wrap dresses are not a bad idea, even non maternity ones should work for the first few months if they're roomy. And non maternity empire line dresses can sometimes accommodate a bump, I managed to wear a stretchy jersey one through my last pg.

bumpless hope your review meeting went well and you got some useful information from your consultant. A friend of mine had to go through 4 cycles before getting her bfp which always gives me hope that it can happen even after a few unsuccessful cycles. Interestingly enough the nr of follicles produced and fertilised varied wildly between cycles even though they stuck to pretty much the same protocol. I can fully relate to how you felt when your friend announced her pg to you, at such a tough time as well. Whenever I find out another one of my friends is pg I cannot fall asleep until the early hours because my mind spins so much.

summer I will most likely be on short protocol next time due to my poor response. My amh is fairly low but the dr thought I could still do long protocol with a high dose of drugs. well, turns out he was wrong but I guess this is not an exact science.
But I'm a bit confused because I thought short protocol was for people with low amh and ovarian reserve, so for someone like you with pcos I would definitely have thought you need to dr? But I'm no expert of course..
Are you on any fertility drugs at the moment? if you are they will probably make you wait at least a month to get them out of your system, otherwise there's nothing to stop you doing ivf after your next af. Although I'm hoping you won't need to!

islegrin can't believe the price of ivf over there, maybe you really should look into clinics abroad, with the money you'll be saving you could treat yourself to a nice hotel somewhere. I really hope you won't have to spend all that money and the next iuis will work for you, but I'm glad you had a good chat with your dh and are considering giving ivf a try if you have to. I fear if you don't you will always wonder what would have happened if, I definitely would.

issy hope you are having no more scares and are sailing through your pg from now on.

sooty I am curious now, where do you live? Hope you're having a bit more sunshine now. So you'll be starting your next cycle really soon. I so hope this is gonna be the one, you know now that your body can respond to the stimms which is a great starting point.

Hi to everyone else I have missed, it's been such a long time I just cannot keep up with you all any more.

So after much deliberation I have decided to start drinking wheatgrass and I take something called apimist which is honey with royal jelly, bee pollen and propolis. All very good for follicle production apparently. I am also drinking nettle tea to detox and lady's mantle tea to prepare the uterus for implantation. Hope I'm not completely screwing myself up, but I'll just try this for one cycle and see what happens. I just need to do SOMETHING to keep the hope alive. And I am already feeling more positive. I might also see if I can get an appointment with Ian, from the sample of 2 on this thread he has a 100% success rate which is promising. I have ordered a book called inconceivable from this woman who got pregnant in her fourties after secondary infertility, so I'll read what she did, if she can do it I should be able to do it too at 10 years younger.
I'll have my review appointment this thursday, I really really hope my consultant won't tell me my chances have decreased significantly due to that sorry episode. Will also ask him about dhea.
Oh, and I'm pretty sure I ovulated on wednesday (pos LH test tuesday morning) so there is a tiny chance this month, although not enough to get excited about.

Hello lovely ladies, just a quickie as we're off on the ferry to France at 5 am tomorrow...

Thank you thank you thank you for all your kind words and wisdom about telling my parents,and about the possibility of donor eggs. I made the mistake of having a quick lurk yesterday while hot-desking in a crowded office, and all your support made me burst into (happy) tears, so there was me ducking behind the monitor and scraping at my eyes with a Pret napkin... Fliberty you must have been through so much, facing cancer and also facing the loss of your eggs, and I'm so glad that it worked out well for you after such a ghastly time.

My review meeting went well and LWC are going to let us have another go at IVF. The doc said that I'd responded better than my FSH etc would have indicated, which leads me to think that either the lifestyle changes I made actually had an effect, or that you never can tell . Anyway, subject to scans etc etc we will be off again in July, so maybe I'd better wind up the revenge/consolation wine and chocolate binge

Ailz I don't want to get too excited but the tiredness sounds like a good sign... everything crossed for you!

LL there's something I've been wondering about a lot and I think we'd all like to know... what was the tune you sang the minisquidges song to????? Come on now, we're all friends here, you can tell us!

waves and hugs to everyone