Mid Thirties First time TCC

[donttrythisathome]

Anyone feel like joining this bus??

I'm 36, TCC 1, never wanted children and now have done a complete u-turn!

TCC 1, Cycle 2, UCL 28-33ish, CD12

Don't. DB has announced he's going on an Aga repair course, since our new house has one. His dream is to own a pair of oily overalls, in a Last of the Summer Wine stylee. His mate's just bought three beehives and wants a camper-van. We are one hippy away from starting our own festival.

Also - this has just occurred to me - while we're thinking about The Good Life: neither Tom and Barbara nor Jerry and Margot had kids, despite being WELL into their mid-thirties, and did anyone give them a hard time about being selfish/leaving it too late? Eh?

geekylass is normal to be freaked out. It's the hormones, not the fish baby. It really will be fine, honestly.

Oh, cosmo sorry to hear about your job. But echo everyone else, don't let Gordon Brown decide your baby status. Also sounds like you have a few ideas anyway........

Mmmmmmmmm, am a bit concerned about the "pee stick in gin" experiment. Wouldn't that involve the stick soaking up valuable gin? Can you suck the stick at the end of the experiment to get back said valuable gin?

Cosmo Oh thank god you too are going for second hand baby stuff. I mentioned my desire to do this to someone once and they put social services on speed dial.

Baby #2 will have Julian's unbroken shit .

Gerry couldn't get it up and Barbara was too underweight to conceive. Tom never quite managed to give Margot one.

Nooooooooooooooooo, I've tried to stay away from the "stools of the trade" thread, but I couldn't help myself. My biggest fear of all has been pooing myself (during labour, not just normally) in front of people.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO again, the ladies on that thread say pooing mid labour is normal. That can't be right.

And pee & fart. I'm sitting here face scrunched up in disgust. I want tips how to clench backside & push from fango at the same time.

Sod that, I'm back on the pill, condoms all round & DP to tie a knot in it for good measure. I'm not farting & pooing in front of anyone for anything!

skihorse luckily all my friends are similarly tight also sensible, they all just pass everything from one person to the next!

I was brought up wearing my brother's handmedowns and it probably explains why I have a wierd fetish for wearing men's clothing never did me any harm .

VeryAnnieGertie, thank you so much for making me feel better. I have all of those concerns and more (although not the one about your sister's baby, that would be weird, although I'm sure she's lovely).

Cosmo, I'm really sorry to hear about your job. That sucks and I hope you find something new soon.

LaurieLou, I'm with you on the fear of pooing thing. Wrong wrong wrong. But my friend is very proud of the fact she didn't poo during labour. Just don't get her started on the ripping and tearing shudders

Are you sure Tom and Margot didn't get it on? Surely they must have done.

Sorry to hear about the job Cosmo, seems to be a lot of that about. Sock puppets and hula hoops rock though, imho. Also Kirbee (for which one needs a quiet street with a kerb, a ball, at least two people) and the game where you have to chuck a tennis ball at a wall in different ways (seven of one thing, six of the next etc). I spent days playing this.

Ps you may also have a donkey as long as it doesn't drink the gin or eat the peesticks.

Or is that goats?

Oh god DON'T!!! I can't even crap in a public toilet unless I'm touching cloth. Will. Not. Read. That. Thread. Falling into a coma sounds preferable.

Please do the gin experiment - what if gin is pregnant tho, can you still drink it??

If the gin is pregnant as well then surely it means it's ok to drink gin when you are up duffstreet?

VAG I read that as it was ok to have a donkey if it didn't eat the peacocks. I think we need peacocks.

mmmmmmmmmm! Delicious, I can smell it now with a nice port gravy and some cranberry and apple stuffing!

What are you smelling, trig? the donkey or the poo?

What are you smelling, trig? the donkey or the poo?

Lmao the roast peacock

Welcome Winnie and Teeny. Pull up chairs and join in....

I haven't seen this legendary Daily Mail article, but I am a year past the age of doom (turned 36 in April). If When we conceive, I will personally write a letter of apology to The Daily Mail for waiting until I was with the right person to have a child. Next lifetime, I'll have the baby when I am 17 and without a responsible dad in sight....

cosmo, I am so sorry to hear about the job. I definitely know the feeling and I am sending you virtual gin in solidarity. It sounds like you are taking "all the right steps" to line something right up. But don't panic. And don't let it make your baby decision. You have exactly the right attitude, Barbara. Perhaps you should think about getting a couple of cute little piglets to go with the peacock and the donkey.

laurielou: take the holiday. Take the holiday!

I want to know about the POAS-gin experiments. I will be POASing tomorrow before we leave for Glastonbury. It's a day before AF is due, but if there is good news, I'd rather know now. And if not, well, then at least I'll know I can eat all the half-cooked burgers and blue cheese and drink all the cider that my little heart desires. And I'll know to pack extra tampons....

OMG make sure that we get to know first. None of this fannying around telling partners or some such. This is important

Yippee Sarah! Where's that darned jealous emoticon?? I am due today (based on last month's 26 day cycle) and have already peed on 2 sticks on Weds (slaps wrist) with nothing good to report. I'm going to pee on another stick tomorrow as that will mean I can either (a) get out of essential DIY or (b) get on with essential DIY and have some drinks for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Ha.

Cosmo what a load of toilet. Any form of decent redundancy package to soothe the path to a new way to fund hedonism job?

Anyone else peeing on bits of plastic this weekend?

nocoffeenoworkee I may POAS Sunday.

So, to satisfy trigger's and nocoffee's curiosity, my POAS was a BFN. The single line showed up on the stick practically before I had a chance to stand up! Almost as if to say, "Lady, are you crazy?" AND I am now in full blown AF-just-about-to-start mode. I know it's only TTC#2, but I'm not used to having to wait for stuff.... On the other hand, I will now be able to drink with impunity at Glastonbury.

PS skihorse, I will be thinking of you on Sunday!

SarahAbroad Sorry to hear about your BFN - AND the thought of tampons at a festival.

I am still mildly optomistic this end, I usually get a couple of big zits on my chin just before AF. Skin is still clear and has been dripping in grease (hair too) since about Tuesday.

Sorry about the BFN sarah. Still like you say, drinks ahoy at Glasto!

We used a condom this morning because I panicked. We decided we didn't like it at all. Anyway, we checked the box afterwards and they went out of date in April 08 . We won't bother again!

I'm off to a friends birthday BBQ tonight. I have a bottle of cava and this morning made a heavenly looking white chocolate and strawberry cheesecake which I plan to consume most of myself. {glutton emoticon]

skihorse I will be thinking of you mid hangover tomorrow am.

Well it looks like the nocoffee house booze cupboard can be re-opened with impunity due to a BFN this morning, boooooooo. Still no AF but trust me, ALL the symptoms are there so it can't be far off.

The good side of this is that, unless AF doesn't show, I can now go out with bezzy mate on Thursday and on Friday for double cocktail binge (don't ask).

Sorry to hear about yer BFN Sarah, console yourself with lukewarm Bud in waxed cups and don't forget to go for your lady business in the family camping area where the nice bogs hang out. You might well be accompanied by eco-trustafarian-family noises such as "Mummy, I caaaaaan't go" and "Mummy, can you wipe me please?" and "Piers, I thought I asked you to wash your hands thoroughly" but at least you won't be fiddling around with a mooncup over a 20 foot deep stench pit.

Come on Ski, do us proud! I'll bring on the canteloupe bellinis - anyone else?

\O me please

Sorry to hear your BFN news you two but I'm glad you appear to be about to pickle yourselves as a consequence.

I confess to outstripping my best units total last night - DP took me out for the best ruby ever and then for cocktails. Smashed my own record.

Been baking all day today