Mid Thirties First time TCC

[donttrythisathome]

Anyone feel like joining this bus??

I'm 36, TCC 1, never wanted children and now have done a complete u-turn!

TCC 1, Cycle 2, UCL 28-33ish, CD12

Scabies.

So - as one who is not yet actively TTC (am still trying to overcome The Fear) can I just ask how/why you all decided to do it? Were you all just overwhelmed with broodiness? Struck with Daily Mail induced fear over the birthday-that-must-not-be-named? Didn't want to leave it too late?
How do you overcome the fear (other than with vast quantities of gin, chocolate and Percy Pigs)??
I just don't know that I'm ever going to be ready, but making the decision to go for it, is, quite frankly, giving me a panic attack every time I try and think about it.

Laurie this is spooky - this week DH did book us a holiday in Thailand for October . I actually hadn't bothered counting up to see if it was ok to fly, erm, perhaps I should have done. Or at least had the peestick-gin experience.

We are not rolling in cash either, we got an excellent deal due to not minding that it's the rainy season. Friend recently flew Virgin Upper Class sounded absolutely amazing and would be sorely tempted if had that kind of dosh/wasn't so attached to both kidneys.

laurie - I can leap in here as a paranoid accountant's daughter and say I know exactly what you mean. Boyfriend is forever telling me how much tax i can 'save' by buying a new Macbook/house/claiming dog back against expenses etc, and it took me years to come round to the idea of long haul Premium Economy even. Money has to be prised from my clawed-up hands; i'd rather get DVT, and spend the difference in sample sales when I get there.

BUT, the lushes are right - you're not going to do this again for years, when there's a baby in tow, and if bikinis are OK for Colleen Rooney, they'll be fine for you. Plus DP might even be planning some lovely surprise in First Class for you (fnar) and if he's getting stressed out by the baby bollocks, he might see this as some lovely time together, just the pair of you. AND FINALLY if you're not up the duff by then, people will only tell you (as they are effing constantly telling me) that what you really need to do is to go on holiday somewhere hot and totally forget about getting pregnant, and lo, you will instantly develop the fertility that has so far eluded you.

(Sorry, this is personal, very annoying bee in bonnet.)

trig it's legal scabies, caused by close contact with annoying solicitors. I feel like I have a bad case of it coming on myself.

wildfig I have noticed you talk a lot of sense. Are you, in fact, my mother?

lmao @ 'the lushes' btw. Comedy collective noun.

laurie My only concern with Thailand would be that it's impossible not to get the shits and if you do it could be a cuople of days being dehydrated. If he really wants to whisk you away somewhere hot, what about the US? Not as exciting but Virgin are doing amazing deals and it'd be more "sanitary".

As for hols, we started TTC in November and I booked 4 weeks skiing in Jan/Feb/March.

I didn't POAS because when I checked the sticks I had at home they're not early response so I'll just have to wait until Monday. Had another dizzy spell this morning though.

Also went to see the fertility-clinic prescribed dietitian. To be perfectly honest I was planning to lie to her and then lie some more next week. As it turns out, her thoughts on nutrition are the same as mine e.g., bread/pasta/rice/tatties are tools of satan and should be flung from the fortress walls. In fact she said she wished more people followed my diet. I was measured and tweaked and my waist is 1.5" bigger than the Dutch acceptable size. Once I've finished my programme with her she's going to send a letter to the fertility clinic telling them that I am HEALTHY and not a lard-sucking waste of space. She was really lovely and gave me a book to read - I've left it in the car now but it's about eating the way the "stone age" people did. I am just amazed - I really thought I was going to get fobbed off with the "eat 5 slices of bread a day" and "eat pasta for dinner".

So my bread, rice and tortellini surprise I was cooking for dinner is going to be wasted on you then? hmmm? hmmm?

Winnie I was considering this very point yesterday. My main push-factors were;

a) running out of reasons not to and not being able to decide finally not to have children

b) .....

I guess there isn't a (b) - I've been trying to formulate a lot of other points but I think (a) is it, really.

I'm terribly afraid. I can write a list of things I'm afraid of;

a) having somethign in my life I love so much I will die if it dies (nb also feel this way about DH and close family but they are somehow tougher than a teensy baby)
b) getting depressed and being a terrible parent
c) becoming isolated/not working - but conversely, continuing to work and leaving said baby with a stranger (I know good parents do this, but atm I can't see my way through this)
d) being so tired I can't bear it - also losing lie-ins and quiet time to myself which is much treasured
e) losing my figure forever
f) being older - at least when childless I can be feckless and behave like a youngish person
g) somehow if there's a younger generation arriving the older generation must make room - I cannot bear to think of this.
h) I adore my sister's daughter so much, as do my parents - ican't imagine another child in the family could be so adored. Sister is preg again already so ours would be just more somehow and I'm a bit jealous of this (we're very close but she's 4 yrs younger and has always leapt in)

I am a terribly shallow person.
g)

Oooh trigger straight talking is the only way here, absolutely no offence taken at all!!

VAG - see you in Thailand!

ski you're very sensible to think about dehydration. Been to Thailand before & was absolutely fine, so naively think it'll be the same.

The US is fab, many a great holiday there, just fancy somewhere different.

winnie Although I suppose I'm TCC I haven't dared to admit it out loud as the fear is still strong. As for over-come by broodiness, eh, no. Thinking about it, why am I TTC?

Well, DP is a big factor - he loves kids, always has & would've been happy for us to have children 10 years ago. Evil laurielou.

I kind of think how hard can it be when cider swigging hoodies manage, I think of all the years of hassle joy I've provided my parents (!), & awkward sod that I am as soon as menopause starts I know I'll become broody. So its kind of just do it & deal with any consequences after.

First Class to Thailand! Bloody go for it!! You can't take money with you. Well you can take money with you to Thailand otherwise it would be one shit holiday, but you can't take it with you when you shuffle off this mortal coil. Don't worry about the shits, neither of us got them when we went.

So anywhat news from The North is that it looks like I will be celebrating the Birthday of Doom jobless as well as childless. Oh joy of joys, yes people, it would seem I am in line to be Crunched.

I went home last night and did what every sensible grown up woman does, rang my dad and cried

Told DH we would have to make use of the 6 year old packet of condoms living in his chest of drawers but he reckons we just keep at it becuase we have to think of us and sod everyone else.

ps yes I had noticed the typo in the title, I assumed it was down to too much gin when first posting.

pps anywhat? I mean anyway. Although I like anywhat and think I will carry on using it.

Oh cosmo

Here, have some gin. That is rough luck. Your DH speaks sense. You KNOW there is never a good time so you might as well just go for it.

Oh, cosmo! I'm so sorry, that's shit. Have fingers, toes and legs crossed (maybe not legs) that you'll find something new before the Crunch comes.

DH is right, though: you have to think of yourself. Do not let Gordon Brown decide whether you have kids or not. Get back to bed asap.

Cosmo I agree with the others, don't let the government/job situation be your driving factor. It's fucking madness (IMO) to have kids and HAVE to both work full time to support a "lifestyle".

So maybe it'll be more like the way we were brought up, peeing our pants because we get a BMX for xmas and clothes shopping done at a jumble sale rather than designer togs. It really doesn't matter. You want your children to be kind, thoughtful, happy and well-educated right? Those things won't cost you.

I fecking love you lot right. hic.

On a positive note, I did find a job I would be perfect for online last night so I have applied for it. I also contacted old boss on the off chance there is something back there, and also the recruitment blokey what got me this job. Something will turn up.

Exactly. I've had that conversation with DB: Bertold will have to play with toys hewn from old milk cartons and treat the dog as his best friend and have birthday parties where the highlight is a cake in the shape of a train, not an appearance from Britney Spears and a light show. And think how excited he'll be - like me! - when he finally moves to London and discovers some herbs come in fresh varieties.

We're doing them a favour, lowering their expectations.

Alternatively, have you thought about using your newly found free time to stand as an MP, and get the public to fork out for child necessities? According to my mother, who is reading the Telegraph aloud in manner of Madame Defarge at the Guillotine, Lembit Opik claimed £30 for party wigs, and Gordon Brown had some wendy house repainted on expenses. And that's not to mention childcare, Pepperamis, etc. We are missing a trick!

(NB I do not live with my parents. I am having a three-day minibreak from reality, replenishing my Northern tea levels.)

I'd already planned to buy everything baby related second hand because I am tight a baby doesn't care if things are new or not and it's a good job I'll have a veg patch up and running soon. Perhaps I should buy a pig and start trying to remake The Good Life. Just call be Barbara.

Just call ME Barbara.

Oh, good. We can all be Margot and swan around with G&Ts and kaftans.

Laurielou - doitdoitdoit you'll be skint for the next 20 years anyway, might as well have a good time now

Would someone please put a pee stick in a glass of gin and tell me what happens? I don't have any (although am thinking of buying some as I keep getting cramps and am paranoid)

Am having terrible mood swings just now not enjoying this at all at the moment. Sorry if that sounds selfish, I know I am dead lucky and shouldn't be moaning but I can't stop worrying and crying. Am really scared that it's all going to go wrong and I will miscarry. Or that I'll have a freaky fish-baby (OH was looking at pictures of 5-week embryos and has decided that's his name for it) Wish I was working or something right now, I have far too much time to dwell on what could go wrong and can't talk to anyone except OH as it's far too early to tell anyone.

Shit, sorry - welcome to the newbies! Just ignore me, I am the resident crazy pregnant lady, here to act as a terrible warning to you all if you decide to go down this road...

You know what? I think we all know each other well enough to start a MTTTC Commune, and I'm am particularly liking the idea of a smallholding where we can dress like the Amish in long floaty skirts with children weaving around our legs, collecting eggs, digging up spuds and milking the goats for my favourite cheese. DHs can potter and tinker and be manly with oily rags and we can sell our produce for our livings.

Cosmo (or Barbara) - sorry, cross-posted. I am so sorry. Remember, thrifty is the new... something. Most of us were kids in the 70s tho, weren't we? I certainly remember all the power cuts and my Dad being laid off, and it didn't affect our happiness.

Please can we have a donkey? please please?? I loves the donkeys.

Geekylass I have an OV test I am not planning on using, I volunteer to stick that in a glass of gin tonight for you if that will do?

Don't worry about worrying, I think we'll all be exactly the same in your position. And you can talk to us as well as OH.