Ignoring the LIES, DAMNED LIES, and STATISTICS: Fiesty & Fabulous 40+ers TTC

[xserialshopper]

Open to all 40+ers TTC.

We're friendly - not cliquey (sp?) and would love to know you{smile]

Wow, 46K+ sales and 100% positive feedback! I feel too downtrodden to buy tests again, but I need one to check everything's OK after the last mc, Jeez. Is everyone on here feeling like this, or is it just the time of year, do you think?

Yes, I feel kind of "what the hell" about it too, but romantic interlude in Prague this weekend, so...
Can anyone tell me about PreSeed? I keep reading about it and have looked it up, but I'm not clear on whether or not this is useful to me. I am ok on the ewcm when I ov, so is there any point in adding "extra"? Is it the more the better? Or just no harm done in chucking yet more hocus pocus into this mad endeavour? Anyone got any scientific or anecdotal info on this?

grownupbabes - dunno, but it's one of those things I thought might be worth a go as I don't get loads of ewcm. I came across this MN thead when googling it which made me smile, a host of ttc tips in just a few posts

more tips

Sounds like a great (and hopefully timely) trip to Prague - good on ya!!

Sussex - it is a gloomy time of year in a lot of ways isn't it, and not so good for concentrating on ttc really. I'm certainly a lot less hopeful than I was in the summer. [gloomy] (or should that be [fgloomy] )

But you never know, so on we plod! And the days get longer from 23 Dec, so not long now... (do I sound cheery yet )

sussex - a couple of old nags us!

Fertility - I didn't know that about the eggs still being there! Yes,let's hope we'll all start feeling optimistic once the days start getting longer.

Grown-up - I'm a pre-seed user because (TMI alert) I'm kind of dry alot of the time and need some extra gunk to help things along whilst on a rigorous BD schedule! My understanding is that if you need to use a lubricant, that this is one of the most sperm friendly but my own feeling is that I wouldn't use it if my EWCM was good as it's just something else that might get in the way of the little fellas! Perhaps other users have different views??

Prague sounds wonderful - enjoy

Nite ladies x

Hi!

I got married age 40 (rather sudden and romantic, waited for Mr Right)

I had 3 mcs in 1 year, saw a fertilty consultant who was rather pessimistic but had DS in May, when I was 44 and 1 month. I've been exclusively breastfeeding, he's doing really well and is gorgeous. I'd love no 2 but
a. no af and
b. he's still sleeping in our bedroom and our bed if he gets the chance!

I have PCOS and got put on metformin, B6, folic acid 5mg and metformin. The consultant sort of acidentally took me off low dose aspirin. He also was very disparaging about poor dh's sperm count (I think dh has been doing sterling work myself)

I will shortly be resuming the Regimen of Pills (but might leave out the metformin for now)

Welcome chatname - wow, DS at 44! that's the kind of news we like to hear . This is the Hope Springs Eternal forum.

Ohhhh chatname my hope is now springing eternally as well

I've used pre-seed in the past as I was very dry to non existent when I was on the Clomid. I'm actually thinking of ordering some for this month plus Heron22 used it

Ooh, chatname - I am so sorry about your awful history, but at the same time you've given me so much hope. A warm welcome to you!

[Waves tinsel at everyone else]

Hi again. I posted on 1st Dec 20:56 asking what the statisitcs actually are for us lot conceiving as I'm new at this and have only just started thinking about TTC for number 2. None of you replied!! Have I made a Faux Pas by asking? Anyway was just wondering what my chances are- I'm 42 pretty soon and had DS on the first try age 38.
Any advice would be very gratefully received-seems to be lots of talk of various pills and potions knocking about.

I had DD at 43. Used preseed, acupuncture and temped. Got pg within 3 months.

Trying for number 2.

hi peasoup - no such thing as a faux pas on this thread

the reason no-one replied is because there are no reliable statistics. You can't take the birth rate for over 40s because you've no idea what proportion of people are trying. You can't use the IVF statistics because the majority of people have been trying for some time before they go for IVF (I'm trying to say tactfully that a proportion of those going for IVF will have some fertility issue other than age). I did once see a study carried out on a population that didn't use contraception and in that case something like 30% of women in their forties conceived and carried to term (also IVF figures usually have conception rates and live birth rates and these are not identical). Again there though, you've no many of the women from the tribe (or whatever) were beating off their blokes with sticks having already had several children.

Finally, whatever the stats, nothing can tell you whether you are one of the lucky ladies (many on here) who can conceive into their 40s, or one of the unlucky ones who can't. I'd have to say, for me, anecodotally, far more women over 40 who are trying seem to get pregnant than any statistics I've ever seen (take a bow, xserial for thread title - cue trumpets), and my position is that unless there's an actual reason why you can't conceive, you should assume that you can, and might.

Not definitive, but an answer at least! Good luck!

sorry, that should say, you've no idea how many women etc.

and anecdotally not anecodotally!

Peasoup - welcome and sorry you got no replies re the stats, I think it's probably because none of us actually know off the top of our heads, and it's too depressing to google! All I know is that fertility is supposed to drop significantly after 35, and again after 40. But - I have also read that a lot of the stats are a bit skewed because one of the main reasons women historically haven't had a lot of babies over 40 is through choice (eg family already complete etc) so it's harder to get reliable figures for general success rates for women ttc'ing naturally over 40.

IVF age-related stats are more specific, but those vary according to each clinic. But I guess the thing to remember that we all have an individual biology so it's difficult to compare yourself to the 'norm' anyway, whatever age you are.

Chatname - what an inspirational ending to your story Good luck with number 2.

Well a lot of cramping this afternoon, so looks like AF may be on the way, grrrrr. She might at least have the decency to stay away till tomorrow so my luteal phase doesn't get even shorter this month

x post Rhet - lol at the over-40s beating their blokes off with sticks

Peasoup I have no idea.

Anyway all negative statistics about women 40+ trying to conceive, take it from me, are just lies, damned lies

OK; I'll just go for it and see what happens. I did hear about Fertility Friend website on another thread ages ago, so might look that up and read up a bit. Wish me luck!

Peasoup I replied on 1 Dec, pretty much along the lines of what the others have said. Statistics don't tell us what our individual chances are and that's all we need to concern ourselves with. Hence the tests that DH and I had over a year ago. Good luck!

I think that's a good point well made tabitha

Hi peasoup - I started FertilityFriend charting last cycle and have found it really helpful. It was recommended to me by [waves] our own fertilityfiend. Give it a go - the more info you have the better, especially when it's something completely non invasive like charting. There's literally nothing to lose.

Thanks for all the info. Sorry about that Tabitha. Did you just ask the GP for the tests purely because you were over 40 or had you been trying for a while and not succeeding? I shall certainly be signing up to Fertility Friend.
Unfortunately I have chatted to three Mums today who all had angelic first babies and REALLY difficult second babies, and I had a really easy ride with my first one. AGGGHH! Mustn't dither; I'm too old to dither!

Hi all old-timers and new peeps.
Thank you for your analysis Rhet, most imaginative.
Sussex, it's yer hormones most likely, getting back to normal and oscillating wildly. St. John's Wort might help if it's the short days and grim weather. It helps me, but sometimes get a bit hyper (warning red light flashing).
I meant to say ages ago that I was taking ag. cast when I fell pg last time - but was taking it to shrink a fibroid pre-surgery under a herbalist. So now I think that's why I got pg - scientific huh!
Nice Hungarian doctor has agreed I can reschedule for January, feel much less stressed now. So we have an appointment here and one there in January. Must keep a positive aspect on this, not think about the huge odds in favour of not conceiving.

Sorry for not updating sooner. We have had 2 rounds of FSH injections with no success so have had a break from it for a little while and will have a final round in January. If that doesn't work then it is IUI or IVF. I feel really frustrated as we lived abroad and had all the tests and were told we needed IUI. Came back to the UK 2 years ago and have had to go through it all again only to be told we need IUI.(hmmm)

Question: ewcm - says yes! opk - says no??
Is this possible? Is there something wrong with me or the stick? This is my first month giving the opk a go, but now I am confused. Can you have ewcm without the LH surge, or can you have ewcm without ov?

Anwers please!... I'm off to Prague for a nice weekend of BDing (amongst other intentions, obviously!)