Ignoring the LIES, DAMNED LIES, and STATISTICS: Fiesty & Fabulous 40+ers TTC

[xserialshopper]

Open to all 40+ers TTC.

We're friendly - not cliquey (sp?) and would love to know you{smile]

Ooo, and now my life story. Married 15 years ago, but neither of us particularly liked children then. Had nothing to do with careers or anything. Decided in the summer of last year to try for a baby. It was my idea and I didn't think to ask DH. He goes with the flow on just about everything, except the pink walls in the bedroom .
Peasoup it is just lies, lies, lies. What do they gain from it, though? Ignore the percentages and statistics - we all have quite a high risk of being killed on the roads everyday but we still go out. Look only at yourself. A year ago, on the NHS, DH and I were given tests - me a test to ensure I was ovulating (I temp everyday so already knew the answer to that) and he a cosy little sperm test. These test were done just because we were over 40. Apparently, it is also possible to be referred to a fertility clinic earlier as well, but I wasn't aware of that at the time so don't know details, but ask your GP. Or, better still, ring the hospital. Good luck!

Hi thanks for the welcome back sussex, af arrived today though not surprised as I had no +ve symptoms at all, and although I was desperately checking like a mad women I knew.Feeling very sorry for myself tonight and so far have had 2 packets of chocolate buttons and 2 packets of crisps. Comfort eating or what.

Dp and I were together for 15 years before conceiving dd now 3 after a particularly drunken night and no contraception. Also got married at 6 months pregnant which we had booked 1 month before finding out about lo. Would definitely not recommended getting married and having a child in the same year, still surprised that we are together now
Dh has a disability that had put me off having lo, however decoded last Dec to start with # 2.I use opk as my cycle is pretty chaotic at times.

Ho hum back to the bd.

decoded? I am sure I meant decided, although maybe not!

Hello everyone

Thanks Xerial for starting the new thread and the MC but not forgotten brought a tear to my eye. It's coming up to the due date that would have been - sigh, sob

I have my HSG booked for tomorrow. Absolutely dreading it but have scored a valium from the doc so hoping to be a bit la-la at least!

Erm about me:

Married DH at 33 and started TTC at 34
PG1 took 12 mths naturally - sadly MC @ 6wks
PG2 3 months later naturally - DD who's now nearly 4!
PG3 took 19 months naturally - sadly MMC Jun 08 @ 12 weeks

Been referred to NHS fertility clinic, awaiting usual hospital tests and advised to start trying after HSG x-ray

DH's sperm count is normal my progest is low and suspect I'm not ovulating regularly if at all? We'll see.

We're taking his n hers fertility vitamins, I've had reflexology and trying to get to the gym a few times a week! I keep track of likely OV days on a chart and have tried an OV predictor microscope aswell.

I'm happy to consider clomid but don't really want to go down IVF route.

Just an idea? What if we start another thread for "40+ TTCers profiles only" in case this lot gets difficult to keep track of amongst the chat?

Hi and good luck to everyone xx

Maybe we should have an embedded 'Profiles' spreadsheet. Um, is that possible?

(Crawls away and hides ......)

Wow, go away from MN for a day and it all overtakes me!

Me:
Age 44 and on very happy 2nd marriage after very disasterous 1st one, which however did produce 2 top-notch DS (at age 24 and 27) when I was a young and ripe fertility goddess. These pg were easy and instant. The idea of TTC for more than one month didn't even occur to me. Ah happy days...

Now - TTC 4 yrs. 2 MC (6wk and 12 wk)plus I suspect another couple of chemical pg. Very clueless until now about assisted conception and not keen (until now) about going down that route, as it sounds gruelling and obviously I am lucky enough already to have a good family life. But now I am getting more and more desperate, TBH.

Have so far only used alternative type things:

1. charting with FertilityFriend (useful)
2. reflexology (very nice, hasn't worked yet, obviously)
3. diet and vitamins (have recently found Marilyn Glenville's book, Getting Pregnant Faster, very helpful on this)
4. have had hormone profile (which was all good, FSH 7.4 which is apparently unusually good for my age)

So WHY AREN'T I GETTING PREGNANT????

Where do you find a consultant? I don't want to be laughed at by my GP. I accept we will need to go privately. Anyone fill me in on the procedure? Also, information please about Hungary, Norway, any other cheaper destinations. Also, will clinics take on someone as old as me?? Why do you never see IVF success statistics for anyone over 42? Is it impossible?

grownup I was given the stats for my particular clinic in Eastbourne, but I almost wish they hadn't. They have a 15% pregnancy success rate for women over 40, then unfortunately you also have to factor in the usual miscarriage rates, so it brings the 'successful carriage to term' figure even lower.

Each clinic tends to quote its own stats, but I think those above are pretty consistent with other clinics. It may be that someone will correct me on this.

It certainly made us question whether IVF at my age was worth all the emotional pain and financial expense (£4,000 per cycle at this clinic). However, we're getting pretty desperate, too, and just want to know we've done everything possible.

Just checking back in as been away for the weekend. Love the thread title btw!

Here building up to another shagathon. DH comes home thurs and I should ov fri, so I'll be ambushing him as he walks through the door thursday night!

Will now try to catch up on thread.

My stats: 41 ttc #2.

Sorry, it's me again. grownup, as if by magic, we have received this morning the follow-up letter from our clinic appointment last weekend. I remember him talking about me having a scan, but not this bit "I shall carry out an US assessment of your ovaries, as well as the uterus, to have a slightly better idea of your ovarian reserve". Now this is quite interesting, as I didn't know this was possible on US.

OK - this sounds promising and non-scary because US is non-invasive. That encourages me a bit, because my problem is that I am SO squeamish and wimpish about anything medical! When are you going for it?

Well, it'll be an internal scan, but that's as invasive as it gets. I'm going on 22nd Jan.

Good luck Sussex, I hope you get lots of answers.
AF arrived today, so that's a 27 day cycle. Hmm!
I don't know why we are bothering. Might see who's over on the hut of doom.... [slopes off]
Oh, now have to organise an FSH test by Monday at the latest (day 5), I wonder how helpful I will find my GP, since this is the second one conducted. Do you think I will be charged??
Sorry, not feeling very chatty, better get on with some non-TTC stuff.
Rhet, where are you??

Hi rowing sorry about AF and I know how you feel. I'm still here - in the TWW yet again and just trying not to think about any of it really - it does no good, so that's why I'm lurking rather than posting. I think I feel that I've been here so many times now that I really have nothing to say about it. That sounds all a bit but I'm actually quite cheerful - getting on with things, running in the park (beautiful with frost and all). Things would be improved (well, not at 11 in the morning!) by the addition of some good red wine, but on the offchance that something might have happened that's off the agenda (except in very small quantities). But thanks for asking - much appreciated.

If there's news you ladies will be the first (well, almost) to hear!

Rhet, I know what you mean, there isn't much that hasn't been said. What's that definition of madness - doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result - I'm paraphrasing, but you know what I mean.
Did buy a lovely, sparkly wreath for my door today - half price at Lewis'. It's blooming freezing here.
DP is getting fed-up. He has been hoping we can conceive naturally, because he has designs on the IVF money - he has quite a little list. Gerrof! [Slaps hands away]
When do you think they are going to add the Christmas emoticons?

rowing - boohoo for AF, I am so sorry. If it's madness, at least you're in good company.
rhet - 2WW... poor you...try not to get through too many pee sticks
sussex - I don't think the internal scan sounds too bad, but Jan 22 - that's AGES away. A whole month, maybe you won't need the appointment!! I remain the Eternal Optimist....

Thanks Grownup! As you say, at least I know it's a contagious form of mass lunacy.

Ha ha! Nice thought, grownup, but I've been told not to even think about getting pg until the results are in, so to speak.

Hi everyone

Just thought I'd check back in after my (horrid, horrid) HSG yesterday. I was so dreading the procedure I hadn't really thought about the fact that it would find any probs with "me tubes". Well, one side is blocked which has really thrown me. I suppose it explains alot. More waiting now, for more tests I expect before we can decide what we can do. Meanwhile carry on with the BDing and try to be optimistic.

Oh and the anti-biots they gave me yest, gave me a hideous bout of the trots - nice!

I give up

Hope you all keeping ok x

Fruuuuit - yuck! It's horrible the HSG isn't it!! I had the same extra, super, strong dose of anti-b's because the blockage on one side stopped the fluid from running through. I think they were concerned that the fluid would stay put and cause and infection, but the anti-b's make you feel horrible.
At least you know that there is something 'up', does that make you feel a bit better?
You can still get pg with one tube - I'm not a good advert for this, but others have managed with no problems.

Oh fruit, that sounds absolutely awful

Big hugs from this end to you.

Thanks for your sympathies sussex & rowing. I feel distinctly like a clapped out old race horse limping down the home straight of the fertility race with a diminishing supply of hormones and eggs and a rusty bent old tube!! Thanks for listening to me moan on and here;s a festive garland for you all

I'm not angry or envious - just liked the festive colours.

How's everyone else today?

Hi Folks
Hope everyone's okay, sorry to hear about AF Rowing and Giggly

Lovely festive garland Fruitbowl Sorry to hear about the horrid appointment and blocked tube I'm not v familiar with the processes but fingers crossed they get back to you soon and let you know if they can do something about it.

Re diminishing eggs, apparently we don't actually run out of eggs (we're born with 400,000 or something), it's just that the damn hormones stop them popping through after menopause. Don't know if that makes me feel any better or not

Sussex - the ovarian reserve scan does sound interesting, sorry about the wait though.

Not much news from here, am on the 2WW but still not feeling too hopeful this month. AF due Monday if luteal phase is its usual 11 days. But it was 9 days last month, grrrrrr. Will get the pee sticks out on Saturday though, as I don't want to waste them !!

Hi to everyone (sorry am very behind) - will post my 'story and experiences' (such as they are) soon

Oh fruit, again, I know exactly how you feel. Have just cancelled a planned short course of acupuncture because it really does feel like flogging a dead horse at the moment. Love the festive garland, especially the angry faces!

Hello there, fertility! Where do you get your pee sticks from? Fingers crossed for you for no AF next week!

Sussex - I used this ebay shop

Fertility Plan

They seemed fine, turned up quickly etc. Their web page does make me laugh though, makes you feel like you're ordering something dead shocking as there's 'Private' plastered over everything.

I did order a pack of 100 sticks though, which was quite shocking - 75 opk and 25 pg tests. BUT, it was only about £16 the lot so didn't feel too extravagant. Ordered it during teh summer and am just running out, so will do a new order soon. May order some Pre-Seed too, haven't tried that before.

Nice one, fertility, thank you