Ignoring the LIES, DAMNED LIES, and STATISTICS: Fiesty & Fabulous 40+ers TTC

[xserialshopper]

Open to all 40+ers TTC.

We're friendly - not cliquey (sp?) and would love to know you{smile]

Nanbread, am sending you lots of good vibes and hope that all is well.

The attitude of the nurse has made me really angry ..... she can't ever have experienced the misery of a miscarriage I'm sure and unless there were supporting symptoms indiacting such, it is highly unprofessional and cruel to insist that miscarriage is "highly likely". How dare she !

Whatever her personal opinion she should keep it to herself .... sounds like she thought you were a "nuisance" FFS.

I'm sure I've read too that home tests are often far more sensitive than hospital ones.

Sorry you're having a rubbish time Nan. Just try to ignore the wicked witch and keep hopeful. It is still very early.

I have a GP appt for Monday and will ask to get a scan at 6 weeks. I am trying to stay positive, but am very aware that about 50% of pgs are over by then, so won't really believe there's a chance it's going to last until after that scan.

Boob sensitivity has reduced but not disappeared. Funny ripples in stomach, which I suspected maybe the onset of an mc are normal for a second pg according to my friend and nothing to do with mc (think she's trying to stay positive for me).

Fingers crossed I will still be sitting here pg next week.

Ditto what Catsmother said re home tests. Honestly Nan, try not to worry too much. (Know this is VERY hard)

Good vibes for you too IT1FR ...... try not to worry about "funny ripples". I am convinced that when you're TTC, when the odds are stacked against you, and/or when you've previously miscarried, you become hyper sensitive to what your body's doing and therefore you end up noting every little twinge & symptom, fretting about what it may or may not mean.

I know that before I was TTC (and before miscarrying) I really had no idea what was happening to my body and never really noticed anything. Now ...... everything seems highlighted somehow: twinges, aches, tenderness, stomach problems which get confused with cycle symptoms etc ....... logic dictates that a lot of this stuff was going on before, but I had no reason to notice it IYSWIM.

FWIW, I'm pretty sure I remember odd twinges early on in my 2nd pregnancy.

Hello its me, grownup... I've been away for ages because I've just given up (ish).
But anyway today, guess what... you remember the story about my DSD and how she announced no1 on the actual day I mc last yr... and then she got pg with no2 straight away...
and well here we are and its
MOTHERS DAY !!!!!!!
and of course she's in labour.
So thats no1 = mc
and no2= mothers day
CAN ANYONE BEAT THAT!!!!!!!!
I really am giving up and having a whole bottle of wine, not jsut one drink
good luck to you all
but count me out.

NanB - so sorry that you got really unsupportive treatment at your scan. Some people just don't seem fit to work in a sensitive place like an EPAU. Because OBVIOUSLY it was just your intention to dick about and pretend to be pregnant and waste their time. Is that seriously how these people think??

ITOFR - good luck for Monday. Fingers crossed you find a distraction from your bodily sensations til then

Grownup - sorry to hear about all this - how horrid for you. Take care of yourself (with or without wine!)

COC! (waves) lovely to see ya - still giggling in an immature way at your cheeky name!

I've got a scan booked to check the effects of my 1st clomid tablets on thurs (did I already say that?) and then I've booked in for some acupuncture after, so it'll be a day of having things inserted - Hmmmmm

Oh dear Nan and Grownup, no wonder you feel upset! I'm sorry that nurse said such an idiotic thing to you Nan. There is no way she could possibly know and if you did have a positive test then you are still pg regardless of what she says. Stupid cow!
What gets me is that if you receive a positive test then OK there is always a risk of MC, but why would she choose to be so extreme and ignore any other possibility, it's sounds quite bitchy IMO.
Grownup I'm sending you a big hug, please don't let your DSD get to you. Whether or not she has babies doesn't affect your ability at all, just put her out of your head. I hope you feel much better tomorrow and we see you back on here soon.
Fruit good luck with Clomid, can't wait to see what happens next. Have you picked up any cars yet?
Spiral anything yet?
My news is that I phoned about the blood test results and apparently my progesterone level was 'very good' and I have ovulated. BUM! I was hoping that I hadn't and that would be the reason for my FTC. I'm hoping I have some other sort of imbalance. I want answers and I want them now! Wah! [teddy flies out of pram]
They want me to go back in and start peeing in some bottles for the next couple of months, to see whether I am skipping ovulation sometimes. It's just a bit too late IMO. Why didn't they do all this when I first went in a year ago?

Hi Rowing,

Am I being completely stupid to think you are either netting from Hungary or shortly to board flight? In any event sending loads of on-board virtual hugs, and hope all goes well with the clinic. Meanwhile, sounds like local clinic are taking a healthy if tardy interest, so you could end up with really brill situ where both places actually co-ordinate your care - hope so.

Thanks to all who slagged off horrid nurse. DP said she had an 'attitude' from the moment we got there. He is so mellow, that's quite strong from him, so wasn't imagining it. Anyway bloods done today and results Tues, will be on pins until.

Grownup, so sorry to hear all distress associated with DSD, big wrap around duvet-hug for you and glad to hear you have only given up ish, hopefully you'll (Arnie accent) "be back", strong and feisty-like.

Fruit, hopefully this'll do the trick and/or any other 'insertions'!

Hi Nan,
I'm still here in the UK, the appointment is on Wednesday 25th, so I will be flying down to stay with my bruv in Luton on Tuesday night and flying back on Wednesday night.
I'm getting my ear bent here by my DS Weeeeoooooh, I want to see youtube! weeeeeooooh!

Evening All !

nan and ITOFR - hope all well with you both and the waiting is not driving you too crazy

lates - really sorry to hear that, do whatever you need to do to feel better and hope to see you back soon. Hugs !

fruit - hope the clomid has done the trick.

rowing - all the best for Hungary in case I don't get on here again before you go. Will look forward to hearing how you get on. Remember we will all be with you in a virtual sort of way.

Busy week for me which has stopped me focusing on the 2ww and the bizarre things which are happening with my chart ! To top it all just noticed AF pains whilst sitting here and the witch is not due until Friday. If she turns up early that will mess up all my plans for the day three bloods and scan which are booked for Monday . Can't believe I have had a clockwork-regular 28 day cycle for all these years until I go and book a bloody scan based on it (stamps foot !)

Have a happy week ladies !

Grown up. Sorry about your DSD's timing. Don't let it get to you. Enjoy the wine and have a rethink when you're less pi$$ed off about it.

Hope AF stays away so your bloods will work Beamel.

Good luck for Wed Rowing in case I don't post tomorrow. Hope it's worthwhile xx (agree about all the testing now being a bit door-horse-bolted in terms of their timing. Too blardy little too long coming - hope that's enough metaphors for you - but you catch my drift.

Good luck for your check Fruit. Hope it's good news.

Well I think I'm still pg. Who knows. Am definately tired enough to be. Docs
appt tomorrow. Will just have to wait and see and then wait for scan week 6ish if I can get it.

Nan - Just hoping we both come through this still pg without going nuts!

Hi all - day 37 and still no sign of AF. I'm away with work the next couple of days which fate generally decides is the best time for AF to arrive big time. So if I get through the next couple of days I think it will be pee on a stick time again.

Hugs & good luck to Rowing, Beamel and Fruit

Nan - hope you don't come across that cow again and that you prove her wrong.

god you miss a couple of days and the world turns upside down.

nanbred....you've heard it from everyone else, that nurse was a cow....i had a definite positive at home and then the doctor did two nil tests...apparently the NHS use cheaper tests than the home ones....how many weeks were you when you had the scan...it was very early right? i would work on the basis that this means nothing until proven otherwise....everything possible is crossed for the results of your blood tests.

carryonconceiving - spoting is a complete nightmare isn't if, espeically if it's never happened before...i had non AF spotting for three days before AF this month and then it continued for almost 14 dyas....negative hpt, but i am pretty convinced it was failed implantation...the good news is that it may be why i have plentiful EWCM this OV which i haven't had since i don't know when, so trying to look at it as a positive

rowing - i must have got myself completely confused last week, i thought you were already in hungary! i will reiterate my wishes for this week!

ITOFR do your absolute best to stay positive which i know is so difficult, but most pgs will continue and i have become convinced that your emotional state has an impact - have you been to the gp yet?

spiral - positive vibes to you too, this could be the one!

grownup - i really feel for you and i hope you enjoyed your wine and lots of it...have you ever noticed that when you are dying from a hangover things seem better!!

beamel good luck on your 2ww

i've just waiting for OV now and feeling really positive this month after such a stressful start to this cycle. If anyone is interested I have been reading a really interesting book...i'm a bit like beamel and her gadgets with my books . A friend recommended Natural Solutions to Interfility (Marilyn Glenville) as a good general book for undertanding ferility. We were talking about the quality of 'old' eggs the other day, a central message of this book is that we can't increase the number of eggs we have, but we can improve the quality of them through diet and lifestyle. The book I am reading at the moment The Ferility Diet: How to Maximize your chances of having a baby at any age(Sarah Dobbyn) has similar messages, but is really interesting on aging, health and fertilty..one of her comments ANY WOMEN WHO HAS NOT REACHED MENOPAUSE IS FERTILE AND IS ABLE TO HAVE A BABY...she mentions lots of fascinating research linking conception and various aspects of health including one study that has proven that ALL women can ovulate twice in a month! also suggests great libido and fertility foods and on specific issues such as miscarriage and PCOS. You wouldn't have much of a life if you followed all her advice (no microwave; minimum of cooked foods only 20hours of tv/pc a week - there goes mumsnet!)but the tone si relaxed and lots of good/interesting info.

Funnily enough it has really helped me think about my health and life generally and think about what i can do to look after myself better, baby or not.

now i better apologise for the ridiculous length of this post..it's all or nothing with me

Hi all,thank you for all your good wishes and metaphors.
I'm being very cloak and dagger at work and not really telling them about the reason for the time off this week. Now I'm convinced the plane will crash and they will all wonder why I was going to Hungary. Having really weird, must make a will, type thoughts.
Stupidly, I watched a Horizon programme all about disasters and, of course, there was a spectacular plane, engine failure-type of disaster.
Chews nails whilst knees knock together!
Pull yourself together woman!
Spiral, that is quite an epic cycle, could it be stress? It could also be a cyst, they throw things out sometimes - speaking from recent experience. Do you think it is worth going to your GP to check it out?
Good luck with the OPK!
ITOFR - that's great news, feeling tired, excellent! PG symptoms are a great sign.
Beam fingers crossed that your cycle stays on track. How exciting to be getting some proper investigation, hope you get answers soon.

Been to GP, got a scan for next wed (will be 6wks), so will just have to hold out until then.

Hi All,

Hell's teeth it really is all go round here! and to think it was only last week when things were a bit too quiet Nan your nasty nurse sounds like a right old bag, she shouldn't have treated you like that

Thanks for the book advice Lates, I tried some of that stuff with a natural fertility advisor but she was so fierce and the whole thing so joyless I gave up. You've inspired me to give it another go

Thinking sticky thoughts for you both Nan and ITOFR. Grownup I'm very sorry you're having such a rough time - hope you have all the support you need in RL.

Hello everyone, mind if I join in? Never thought I'd find myself on a conception forum but there you go.

Bit of history, DH and I have been together forever (well, since we were students anyway). Always vowed we'd never have kids but then we both turned 40 and decided there was something missing... we went the "let nature take its course" route and I gave birth to my DD at age 42.

I found out I was pregnant again 10 months later but unfortunately this ended in a mmc at 12 weeks When I first found out I was pregnant with no.2 we were horrified, but then just as we came round to the idea she was taken away from us (I like to think it was another she). I know I'm really lucky to have my DD, and never thought we'd contemplate more than one, but I guess the experience of the mc made us realise that was what we wanted so we've been trying ever since but with no success. Having got pregnant so easily twice I thought it would be the same again.

Anyway, I've been lurking for a while, and the recent success stories have prompted me to post - hoping we can share the good fortune.

Welcome Rockdoctor and good luck.

Lates - will try to take your advice. Swing from optimistic to sure it's all over on average 30 times a day at the moment!

Hi everyone, I'm just popping in to say I will be flying the first let tonight then on to Hungary tomorrow - aaaargh!!!
Completely panicking and scrabbling around trying to get organised.
Will check in as soon as I can.

Big hugs to everyone, and hang in there all the babies!!

oooh good luck Rowing Big hugs to you, you will be fine xxx

Hi can I join you all? I've spent most of today reading the entire thread and you have given me so many positive vibes! I'm 44.5 and having a last ditch attempt at ttc!
All about me;

I have been married to my dh for 25.5 years!
We have 4 children, ages 21 (1987), 16 (1992), 14 (1994) and 6 (2002)
I suffered 4 m/c over the years 1990, 1991, 2001, 2007
I am currently studying for a degree
I will put my faith in God and if we are meant to have another addition then we will

My heart has room for another one but if its not meant to be then I won't be bitter - sad but not bitter!

Look forward to getting to know you all and lots of bfps

xx

Welcome dixie and rockdoctor. Great to have you join the thread !

Lates - I bought the Fertility Diet last week ! Not read it yet but flicked through and got a bit scared by all the things I would have to give up. Have decided to give it a proper look this weekend though.

Rowing - you are probably on your way now but sending good luck vibes through the ether !

Feeling very AF ish still. Just need her to stay away until Thursday so the scan can be done. The hospital had to cancel my HSG next week as the chap who does them is away so that will have to wait until next cycle now ... so no quick answers for me ... oh well !

Rowing - hope the journey goes well.

Just popped in to wish all the best to rowing as she jets off!

and hello dixie and rockdoctor, the more the merrier.

Other than that I have no news, no insights, nothing to say - except that I am still getting spotting from my period 10 days ago, which is a bit odd. Is this likely to be an infection, or just one of those odd things?

beamel we are scarily similar with our books and gadgets...do give it a read...the research in the first couple of chapters is fascinating

welcome and good luck rockdoctor and dixie

vonsudenfed....i had the same thing this month for the first time...i suspect a CP, but ovulation seems to be happening normally, so i'm just putting it down to one of those things...[sigh]

best of luck rowing

nanbred you ok?