Ignoring the LIES, DAMNED LIES, and STATISTICS: Fiesty & Fabulous 40+ers TTC

[xserialshopper]

Open to all 40+ers TTC.

We're friendly - not cliquey (sp?) and would love to know you{smile]

Fifitot - that's roughly what I am thinking. My eggs get a bit more flakey, and so the odds of it working out each month get lower as time goes on. Sigh.

And - can't remember who asked - I am taking the B-complex not to lengthen my LP, which is currently a record-breaking 17 days, but because low B6 levels are associated with impaired fertility, and so I thought I would take no chances.

Rowingboat, I don't even smoke virtual fags, but I will pace up and down like a good 'un for you.

I think B6 is in my conception vitamins. Think the average is about 25% chance of conception even when young so god knows what it is at my age!

Hi everyone, I'm new to mumsnet, an am hoping I can join in - I'm 39, so that's nearly 40, right? I have a 16 yo and a 13 yo and am TTC, it'll be my hubby's first. I'm currently 6PO with a 10 day luteal phase, so am hoping I'll know soon. It's all I can do to stop myself testing in the morning, I need to know now!!!!

I am looking forward to getting to know you all

39 is a real youngster compared to some of us! Good luck!

God feel so despondent today. Not unusual but really feel I am near the end of the road. Never mind in last chance saloon but out the back door to nowhere!

I shouldn't feel like this because despite leaving it all late (for no good reason, it's not like I was travelling or have a fantastic career.) Having conceived really quickly at 43 I am full of regrets because I think I must have been quite fertile and could have had 3 if I'd started in my thirties!

I don't want to be regretful becuase I have a wonderful DD but today I held my friend's newborn and it made me ache. It's like a loss really. Feeling I won't have that again.

I know the odds are so against me. If I was even 43 or 44 but getting on to 46. You just don't hear of sucessful pregnancies much at that age unless it's IVF and usually with a donor egg.

Sorry to bore you all. This despondency is usual when I have AF and I have moaned about it on here many times before so not expecting sympathy. Just offloading really.

Anyway.............hope you are all having a good weekend.Sorry to bring anyone down.

Hang in there Fifi, it just might take longer. I'm on month 14 of trying and I seem to be more able to accept the frustration of it all as time has gone on. I keep remembering that yes, egg quality deteriorates with age, but there may also be some lurking that are in better shape than others. It just takes one good egg and one strong swimmer. Quite a high percentage of women take 18 months to conceive anyway. Do you feel you want some answers? Speaking personally, I did feel an awful lot better after the gynae gave us our results, but equally it could go the other way. Main thing is not to give up if you don't want to. It's encouraging that you were so fertile with your dd, it means that the stats are more in your favour.

I would now like to share with you all that at long last I have (dotted) crossed lines on my chart and FF says I have ov'd!!!

Hi All,

Nan - Yay, red lines ! I got really quite overexcited last cycle when I got mine. Makes all that temping worth it (sort of).

Fifi - sorry AF got you, what a bummer

Welcome Tootsie - you will find lots of support, advice and virtual chocolates here

All quiet for me at the moment. Only news is I got partial ferning with on the microscope today which I found quite exciting. Its like school science all over again !

Hope spring turns up soon !

Thanks for the welcome

Fifitot holding newborns is a killer, isn't it? It always makes me cry - always made me cry even when I didn't want babies, now I want one the pain devours me

Nan well done on your OV, I cheer like a loon when I get mine and then count down the days to when I go to bed and straight to sleep - hubby insists on BDing as often as possible before those red lines, just in case!

Hi everyone, welcome Tootsie!
Nan good news on the red lines.
Fifi I'm sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment. We all feel you pain.
I think because we have been trying such a long time, I am a bit more hardened, but I remember the Summer before last I was almost in tears walking through the park and seeing the babies and pg mums. I've stopped giving myself such a hard time now.
Not sure this IVF will work, I think to protect myself from the failure, particularly as the odds are low. I am now thinking perhaps we should go for donor eggs as the odds are way higher and it's soo expensive to do this.
Maybe one cycle with my own and, if I don't respond very well, consider donor eggs.
Definitely have an appointment on 25th, but I think we will do a bit of bding this month, might save us some money.

Afternoon all, and hello Tootsie.

Fifitot, I'm sorry to hear you're so down, there are some times when it is just impossible to keep going forward and being cheerful, aren't there. Have some more chocolate on me.

Nanbred, glad FF has given you a result. I'm in a bit of a huff with it at the moment, it's spent all month moving my ov date back and forth every time I put a temp in. At the moment it's put it so far back that I don't have a cat in hell's chance this month. Stupid computery thing. So I am drinking some wine and doing the gardening and still pretending I don't care.

My temps are all over the show this month, though. I had three high temps around ov, and since then they've all been lower than I ever normally am. I suspect this signifies no more than a) we have turned the central heating down to save money and b) something random like the battery on the thermometer is going. I don't know, I'm sure.

Hi all,

Welcome to you TootsieB, know what you mean about BD, what a trial! Fifi did you pursue the 'position telly to view over shoulder' strategy? I was thinking about this possibility myself during the usual marathon BD fest before oving. It does become so mechanical, sure dp would be interested too!

VSF, mine have moved too. I think that's because I told it that an ov test was + when it was probably -. Also my temps went up painfully slowly, and I had a 'rocky mountain chart' due to having inconsistent waking up time. I still think FF is the best thing EVER to have happended to me on the ttc front, at least there's some evidence of what might be/is happening. Have you tried to change the way you take the temp! It's supposed to be more accurate if you use (trying to be delicate)'different orifices'.

Thanks everyone for the welcome I'm 8DPO today and was very interesting reading about what I can taken to lengthen my luteal phase, it's only 10 days and I think it would do no harm for it to be a little longer! I've been cramping on and off all day so I think AF must be on her way, and I'm looking for ways to make next month more successful!

morning everyone...i need help from those who've been there before.....yesterday, dpo10 i had some bleeding, not a lot but one definite patch of red blood.....nothing since but tiny spots of brown blood twice. AF isn't due for another four days and it would be the first time ever it was this early or that I have ever had any spotting of any kind. Could it be implantation bleeding or pre-AF spotting for the first time at 40 or could it still be from the miscarriage even though the last two cycles have been back to normal or could it even be a very early miscarriage?

any thoughts?

hope everyone is feeling positive this week....sorry AF got you Fifi, as everyone else has said, I think yes less eggs developing each month and declining quality, but at the same tinme it only needs one good egg, so I reckon you still have a chance every single month

Thanks all. Feel a bit better today now AF is winding down.

latestarter - could be implantation bleed but no way of knowing! How long is your LP usually?

I think we should call the next thread "all it takes is one good egg..."

[waves to everyone]

Have no idea latestarter, it could be implantation. I've never had anything like it, so don't know....

VSF - that sounds tres confusing, all those funny temps. Not very helpful.
Must admit I go blank when temping gets a mention, I understand the principle, but not the approach for me.
You could always buy a ferning thingy instead, sounds much more fun.
LS - ooo, that does sound interesting, could be implantation. Do you fancy taking a test, it might work at 10dpo!?!?

hi rowing, howdy? saw ur post and want to wish you luck on the 25th! i am fine. LO will be 8 weeks 2moro. cant believe how time has flown! and spring is nearly here

Hi all, vonsudenfed I'm with you on the ff front, damn thing shifted my ov day again this am and I still haven't a clue when or if it really happened. Whatever the ff computer thinks I very much doubt we timed the BDing frenzy right so all bets are off till next month.

Tootsieb I so know what you mean about counting down days till you can just go to bed and sleep. I've taken up running to try and kid my body its 10 years younger than it is lose some weight and the only free time to fit it in is 6am. What with the BDing and the running I'm barely awake half the month .

Have been toying with the idea of getting an Ovarian reserve test done (not just d3 fsh) but actually I'm too scared. Think next time I'm in the UK I'll get one of those microscope thingies - appeals to my inner geek and less likely to tell me I've had it

Hi Latestarter, everything is crossed that it is implantation spotting! could be v exciting news we have all been awaiting!

Can ferning tell you more than temping then? Can't cope.

How's you Beamel, haven't heard much from you recently? FF tells me I'm in LP, just so glad I've got an LP, now hoping it stretches beyond 10 days. I've just signed up to FF for the next year, psychologically preparing for the long haul.

Apparently with acupuncture and TCM they like you not to try for a few months til your yin/yang hangs together harmoniously, could take some time!

Hi All,

(Ambles in waving with one hand, clutching very strong coffee with the other !)

Had to work all weekend which completely naffed up the BD schedule. Am now completely knackered for all the wrong reasons !

nan - Great that the temping is achieving something. It drives you crazy but then hopefully all comes together when the lines appear and it does give you an idea (sort of) about what your body is doing, or not doing. I temp at exactly 6 am every day and my chart is still rocky !

Having hours of fun with the gadgets. Now getting highs on the monitor and partial ferning verging on full (I think) on the microscope. OPKs still -ve and no egg white yet. I will be amazed if they all agree !

Ferning only tells you oestrogen is high and you are potentially fertile. The ferning is supposed to go away once you ovulate but only the temping will confirm ov. Its probably the least helpful of the gadgets but would be helpful if examining CM grosses you out ! Its great fun though.

Interestingly I only get ferning in the evenings, never in the mornings, which is when some say you should test.

LS - hoping your symptoms are for all the right reasons !

GPS - Am having ovarian reserve done next cycle, along with ultrasound to count follicles and HSG. Very scary (and expensive). Part of me doesn't want to know !

Darn ! Just used my coffee allowance for the week !
Have a good day all !

well it's now been about 36hrs since one pink spot followed by brown spotting....very brown and not just watery (sorry TMI)....i'm almost 100% it's not AF as I would have thought it would definitely have come on by now and would look different. i am still a bit scared about an mc as i have had lots of low gentle cramps similar to the MC i had in november....on the good side, think i also had these leading up to AF and subsequent +pg test and my boobs also have similar sensitivity/pain and are a smidge fuller

AF should be due on thursday/fri, but maybe i will test tomorrow when there should be enough HGH if it was an implantation bleed?

i was completely chilled out this cycle until the bl**dy bleed

Just looking at page 1 of this thread and see Lilibet and Ladymac were 46 and 45 and got BFPs. Anyone know how they are doing?

Good luck latestarter, sounds really hopeful, and totally admiring your restraint! Everything's crossed for you X.

It's about time we had some bfps on here.

thanks everyone, well the anxiety is over as it turned into the witch....i'm a bit freaked out now as i spotted for 2-3 days before AF and it was nothing like AF or anything I've had before...is that bad, should i go to the GP?

any of you 2wws feeling positive?