The WIMBEWAI(N)F Club

[Bucky2008]

OK, so how about we start of on a positive....

I bought the test.

I did the test.

BFP .

Job done.

I understand, Bucky (And not just the bit about loving holidays )

It is the panic of balancing the emotions ofa) wanting so much/trying so hard to get your longed for baby; and/or (b) trying to get on with your (otherwise happy) life and not turn into a psycho woman from hell why cries into prams and wants to hit pregnant women out of jealousy. You don't want to stop living your life for a long shot, but equally, (in our case) you have to compromise and cancel things to get your baby. I know how tough that is.

Your IVF timetable may not interefe with the holidays and the rest of you life as much as you think. i don't know how quickly after your initial appointment on 16th April you will be cleared to go forward. It took us a further three months after that initial referral to get funding approved and rise to the top of the queue, but we were also shunted back/scuppered by Christmas (most IVF units shut down for the whole of December and it takes approx six weeks to do a cycle, so we just missed the October cut off )

(((((((higs)))))))

Morning,

Bucky I'm sorry to hear about af arriving , had really high hopes for you this month. Come sit back down on the bench with me!

Will be thinking of you at your scan today MrsH xx Lovely to have you back, it sounds like you had a fab time

Hi GG, pleased to hear the physical side of things is settling down. Don't underestimate the time you need to get your head around everything, it is ok to be upset about it plus your hormones will be everywhere.

If you're bored at work then have a peruse of my latest ebay purchases and help me decide which one to wear to my sisters wedding

This one - Sunflower Dress - hasn't ended yet but I'm a massive fan of sunflowers (had them in my bouquet for my wedding so nice connotations!)

This one - Strapless Dress - is my favourite but its only going to be April so might be a little too summer'y'. The wedding is fairly undressy so could wear a little cardi with it maybe.

Or finally, this one - Bustier - is bit of a guilty pleasure - probably wont wear it to the wedding but rather liked it

Hope that gives you a little bit to be going on with! (I'm not being flippant, I promise, just thought you might like to look at something completely different)

I'm sat at home trying to work but the sun is shining and I am finding it very hard to concentrate on anything!

EI I am very excited for you - you make sure you post as soon as you've peeded . That chart looks very promising!!

How did the hospital go yesterday MOB? Hope all was well with your little rugby chicklets?

Hi to everyone else, I really should get back on with my work now!!

Back later x

Apologies, completely crossed posts Bucky and GG, please don't think I was being flippant with my post!

I think your feelings are perfectly natural Bucky, after 3 years I think it would be impossible for you if you were totally centred on ttc, of course other things are going to come into play now.

I had a ridiculous notion when I started ttc that I wouldn't book holidays etc 'just in case'. But you can't live your life like that. DH and I have already decided that if there is no baby on the way by the end of this year I get to swap my sensible vehicle and buy my longed for car. I have to have something to look forward to...

Morning ladies and happy st patricks day to you all .

Gosh, there's been loads of activity on here

MrsH good luck at your scan today - can't wait to hear how your little bean is getting on

MOB love the rugby baby grows . I hope you got on well at the hospital yesterday.

Ei your chart looks excellent!!! Am keeping my fingers crossed that you test and get some good news

Bucky to hear about AF arriving...it sounded so hopeful. And don't stress out about having a life while also trying for a baby. For your own sanity (and your DP's sanity!) it's vital that life goes on as well. You'll have a better idea after your app what the timetable for assisted conception is but I doubt your holidays will conflict.

PnM I couldn't see the other two dresses but I love the sunflowers one .

GG glad to hear you had a good time in Hamburg, and it's good that you're feeling so much better physically, but am sorry to hear you're not so busy at work. Having time to let your mind wander is not so good...

JB lovely to see you

Not much to report here. I had a great weekend, with some heroic boozery on Sat for my friend's birthday. But I also drank so much water that I didn't even have a hangover on Sunday so got to wander around the Ally Pally farmers market and generally enjoy the sunshine . Am also full of the joys of spring! Though am quite busy at work so not enough time for MN or FB [sigh]. I'll try to check in later for news from MrsH and Ei .

Happy St Patrick's Day caitni - it's a lovely day for it . All this nice weather makes me want to get fit and slim for the summer . Sorry to hear you are busy at work.

Picknmix - I couldn't see the bustier or the strapless dress in the links (kept bringing back to MN Talk pages ) but I love the sunflower dress . i think you would be beautiful in it. I remember being very of you last year when you bought a blue and white (i think ) spotty dress which was FANTASTIC! I have three weddings to go to this summer (all over the place - why do none of my friends live locally!? ), but I am so distracted at the thought of Cycle #2 IVF in June/July that I have shoved them to the back of my mind and will probably wear anythign I can get into.

Bucky - are you about today?

ei - TEST woman. I need some good news

Ah yes, MrsH let us know about the scan .

Like everyone else PnM loving the sunflower dress but can't see the other two. Far from being flippant I think a bit of shopping was what I needed I feel a bit better now.

Top of the mornin to ya Caitni (Bucky does a totally crap and stereotypical irish salute to St Patricks Day ). Wish I was in Ireland, it would be party central from memory. Good for you with the water drinking, I will make an note to self to do water chasers with my wine in future.

GG I am supposed to be busy, but apparently I am on Mumsnet instead . I have a meeting at 12.00 till 2pm (boring,its about recievership) and a meeting from 3pm at Debenhams head office in Wimpole Street. So not really around. I NEED to go to the gym some time this century, I didnt go at all last week, although I managed 4 times the week before. Irratic is the word I thinkk for my exercise routine. I'm around Thursday if that is any good for a lunch time gossip?

Bucky - I can definitely do lunch on Thursday. i am not busy at all at the moment, so I'd love to meet up and I can call it "marketing" because we are in the same line of work .

You hang in there . We're with you all the way. My dad always said to me "Never wish your life away", meaning that we shouldn't want to fast forward out of the pain of the moment because we'll be old before we knew it. But we wish our lives away - constantly. I wish for the next month when I can TTC again or my next IVF cycle. It's been like that for over 2 years. I need a crystal ball and a glimpse of my life in 1 year, because then I'd KNOW whether it was all worth it - whether I have my baby, or whether I should have bleedin' well gone on that six week sky diving adventure holiday to Antarctica afterall

Hi all

Good news from the scan. Little blob is exactly the right size with a beating heart. Apparently my miscarriage risk is pretty low so we are telling people willy-nilly. Well DH is. I am sitting on the sofa eating M&S lemon cheesecake and enjoying DD's nap

PnM another vote for the sunflower dress here

Bucky and GG I reckon you should both just get on and book whatever fun things you feel like. You can't completely control whether you get pregnant but you absolutely can control whether life is fun in the meantime...

Caitni was the farmers' market any good? And do they sell antipasti-type things? I am having some people over for lunch this weekend and may buy ham instead of cooking.

Ei can you not just hold your wee for a few hours and POAS today?

great news about the scan mrsH - so pleased for you! How many weeks are you now? All your family and friends will be as thrilled as we are for you .

Thanks GG. I'll be 9 weeks on Thursday.

Someone had better hurry up and hire me or I will be off on maternity leave as soon as I get a new job...

Excellent news MrsH ! So so pleased to hear all in the right place. Can't believe you're 9 weeks already - when did that happen (I realise to you its prob been the slowest 9 weeks of your life!)

Have worked out you can't see what I've bought on eBay (doh ) so have found some equivalents - this is the
Strapless Dress (but the one I have bought is nicer as its actually a Monsoon dress and not a copy, was also cheaper )

And this is the Bustier although the one I've bought has a dove grey background, not ivory (too bride like!) and again, not from Hong Kong but the real deal so much nicer

PnM - i like the sunflower dress best i think All are lovely though!

MrsH yay! great news that you got to see your bean and that all's looking well . Now that you're starting to tell folks I bet it'll all become so much more "real" iykwim.

Ei any news from you missus? Am getting very excited [caitni drums fingers impatiently to hear Ei's results]

PnM I love the other dress and the bustier too but I'm with GG & MrsH on loving the sunflowers frock too .

GG I know the pain on the weddings front, last summer I had heaps that were scattered all over the place. This year we've already decided to skip one in Aug (in Martha's Vineyard...sigh!) as we're going to go to the States in Sep instead. But reckon we'll head to one in Sweden (once the couple actually sets the date!) as I've long had a hankering to go to there...

Bucky hope you survived your meetings! Love the idea of you and GG having a "work" lunch. Genius

hi ladies
MrsH great news about the scan
caitni nice to see you
GG and bucky great idea for a 'work' lunch did you do that today?? or is that penciled in for later in the week?
MOB hope you and the MOT's are doing well
i didnt have the chance today to go for a test again i have to get one obviously but maybe the fates are conspiring against me testing cos i am actually wasting my time either that or subconsciously i am quite scared of both results (disappointment at BFN terror at MC with BFP and subsequent utter devastation)
anywho...enough of me rambling
xx ei xx

Evening ladies

MrsH Brilliant, brilliant news! So pleased that the little bean is doing well. And almost 9 weeks already I can't believe it. Now, sit back and enjoy - you are definitely pregnant

Caitni Happy St Patrick's day! Any parties or the like planned?

EI Much as i am impatient for you to test, i totally appreciate your apprehension. Your chart looks great, but only test when you feel ready to.

Bucky It is not suprising that you are fed up with all the uncertainty. You cannot (and should not) stop living your life and planning things like holidays (and hair removal ). Hopefully your appt next month will help you unravel how you feel about things. How does your DP feel? Our thoughts a few months ago were that we would devote our time and energy to 3 cycles of IVF, and then if it didn't work after that, accept (or rather, attempt to accept) that it wouldn't happen. That's how we coped, by setting a time limit. Not that i'm saying that's what you should do, i would never dream of doing that, but just trying to explain how we, in our situation, rationalised things and how we (and particularly DH, as he was the one facing the prospect of no children of his own)got through the uncertainty.

GG I agree that life would be so much easier with a crystal ball at times!! I wish i could peek into the future for you and let you know that it will all be ok. We'll just have to keep you entertained until June, and make the time go quick for you!

PnM Yet another vote for the sunflower dress!! I love the idea of the link to your wedding bouquet. Are you getting shoes as well?? We can choose those for you also

The appt went well yesterday. They poked and prodded, listened to their heartbeats, and said i was doing well. Back in another 3 weeks for another scan / consultant appt. I am seeing the midwife tomorrow, plus a chiropractor in the hope of easing the SPD - it's all go here!

On the subject of wedding outfits... we are also at a wedding next month, so i've got to find something i can fit into and look reasonable in. I'll have to draw up a shortlist like PnM, and get you all to vote! DH has offered to pay for it, but it seems pointless spending much on something i'll only wear once, or twice at the most.

MOB - poor you having SPD. A friend of mine had it and was in a lot of pain. I hope you are managing and that your DH and family are running around after you and spoiling you rotten

ei - did you test??!!!

hello to everyone else, big wave to lovely caitni and PnM. Hope you are ok today Bucky. Don't be too down hearted. You have lunch with me to look forward to

I went for my follow up blood test this morning and they will call me this afternoon with the final HGC tally. Let's hope it is close to zero, or that means another test next week. I asked the nurses about "the next steps" and they were really helpful, but it is not great news.

If I get a zero result today, I get sent a letter confirming I have a zero result and that I am officially NOT PG now (like I didn't already know!) which takes a couple of weeks to come. The letter invites you to book an appointment with the consultant in about 1 month's time from date of the letter. At the meeting with the doctor, he tells you what went wrong, if anything (90% sure it will be a cas eof "one of those things"). BUT because we are NHS, we have to fill out all the paper work again, and then get sent to the back of the queue Apparently, even though we are in the NHS system already and get two funded cycles of ICSI, it means jack sh*t. I have to go back to the end of the queue, which could mean six months of waiting, even though, clinically speaking, I only need to have two natural periods (not counting the m/c bleed) and assuming they turn up ok, they would be happy for me to start cycle #2 in June. Plus, if there is a long gap, i have to re-do all the crappy tests "for their records".

I think DH and I will be having a "serious" talk tonight about going private. I really don't think i can stand any more time wasting and waiting. It was March/April last year I was getting HSG's and DH's sperm test results. I feel like we haven't moved forward at all . I know we have made progress, but it hasn't produced my baby and I am sooooo bl**dy desperate/impatient now

That was yet another me me me post Sorry ladies

God GG that does sound crappy and very frustrating. A 6 month wait when they have your embryos on ice is silly. I'd be getting pissed off too.
I think if I were you I would be giving serious consideration to going private. You're at the Hammersmith, aren't you? I think I am right in thinking that they have a private unit there, so you could get seen by the same doctors but quicker. You could just do a search and see where your consultant sees patients privately - I know some of those Hammersmith people are at 92 Harley St. Alternatively if you have had enough of them, the UCH ACU (where I went to get my tests) has been getting great results.

MrsH- how are you feeling today? Have you many symptoms?

Yup, we are at Hammersmith. I am pretty happy there. It's a bit of a production line doing it NHS style, but they are quick with results, it's comfortable and the staff are lovely. It's very local to us, so we would probably look to go privately there, where we are already fairly settled and know our way around.

We'd like to do another full cycle of ICSI. It apparently makes no difference to the delay/wait/funding, whether we do a frozen cycle or a full cycle for #2. On that basis, I am keen to do another full cycle while I am relatively "young", in IVF/egg years, and make the most of my ovaries while they are performing fairly well, then move on to frosties if we need to later, if that makes sense. I think that wil give us the best possible chance for a family and I managed the drug treatment/injections no problem.

I was really gobsmacked that we are shunted to the end of the queue again. Call me naive, but I had assumed that once in the NHS system, we'd simply go again with our last remaining funded shot and was mentally all geared up for June.

DH is funny - he's just said "Don't worry Gorgon, we can try again naturally this month" Fat chance, but he is lovely

just checked - Westminster's PCT waiting target for IVF is 18 WEEKS between referral (the meeting with the consultant in approx 1 month time) and starting treatment. By my back-of-a-fag-packet calculation, that's September.

Dh and I are about the have a "talk"

Hm, yes. You'd hope that once you'd been through one cycle they would move you on to the next more quickly - especially once they know how you respond to the drugs etc. If you do go private, one thing that helps financially is that people can sometimes get their GP to prescribe the drugs (a big saving since these seem to run to between £1000 and £1800 per cycle). Might be worth giving that a go...

Some symptoms here. I have been feeling very sick (although not actually puking) and when I am not feeling queasy I am starving. It's not fair. I had hoped for some weightloss to offset the massive gain that is to come, but never mind! When I do feel sick it lasts all day long too which is irksome.

I'm so so relieved still about the scan results. I had to beg for a photo (the woman wasn't sure how to do one and wasn't inclined to until I explained that I don't often get this far) and now I have it I can't stop looking at it! I'm having to try to forget all the financial implications of having a baby but no job, but I think it will all come good in the end... How can it not? Surely my luck must have turned by now!

MrsH - Ahhhh, that's fantastic you have the photo. You are right, it will all come good in the end with jobs etc. You have your little bean and you're a qualified professional - by the time you would be coming back from maternity leave, the economy will (hopefully!) be fully recovered and you'll walk into the perfect role . Hope the nausea gets better.

That's a good tip about the drugs/GP, MrsH. Thank you

I'd actually assumed that the hospital would shove you through your second NHS IVF cycle tout suite, so they could free up spaces for people coming behind you. To be honest, I was expecting that the NHS route would be a production line second time round - that it would even be too quick for some people who were still getting over the trauma of a failed cycle! There is nothing in all the stuff I have read that tells you all this

Oh GG how annoying about being shunted to the back of the queue . It certainly gives you and your DH food for thought about your next steps. MrsH is right about using your GP for things like the drugs and whether you need to re-do any of the blood tests, which can definitely help with the private cost. BTW I think it's very sweet that your DH is trying to cheer you up with the prospect of natural ttc!

Ei big for you and your terror mixed with excitement at testing. It's only natural with your history, but just think of the power your diagnosis gives you. Once you get that BFP then your doc can start you on the best treatment to give your little bean a fighting chance .

MrsH so happy to hear of your symptoms! I'm also so happy that you got a picture of your bean. If I was you I'd also be looking at it all the time!

MOB poor you with the SPD, I hope the chiropracter can help...though glad to hear all's well with your boys . I would love to do another voteathon on wedding outfits (you can by inspired by PnM's lovely taste ).

Waves to all the other ladies. Off to get lunch as am starving!

hello all.

the sort-of-good-news is that I am now back to nil for HCG and had a -ve PG test. The hospital are apparently going to give me the next available consultant's appointment because I am a "special case with such an unusual result" . Lucky me! Following that, I can be put forward for cycle #2 (whenever that will be ). If I had had a -ve to start with, i would already be in the queue

Hi my name is stacey im a friend of Eileen and about to start my first cycle of IVF next wednesday im really worried it wont work and very negative about the whole thing im 28 and had to loose weight to get my bmi down for treatment wayhay I done it but am findin it hard to keep it off as having an under active thyroid dont help I was wonderin if there is any hints tips or anything I can do to help along the way
im on facebook to and new to this xx