TTC for the cautious!!!

[Bonkerz]

OK well not sure my title is good enough really and feel honoured you let me start the thread. So heres to a new month and new start on my cycle! TTC is going to be a very nervous and aprehensive time for me but i know oyu are all in the same boat and with your support im sure i can do it. So im on day 1 of my cycle. Should ov on day 10 although am not certain if D&C has mucked up my ovulation but will guess that. Am almost thinking that im ttc just to lose another baby and i know thats wrong but cant help it. With 2 mc already its hard to believe it will ever happen for me and DH and im almost convinced i will never see a healthy happy 12 week bean. Ok enough doom and gloom.

HERES TO ALL OF US WHO ARE NERVOUSLY TTC AND MAY LUCK AND FAIRY DUST SHOWER OVER US IN THESE COMING MONTHS!

Cad if the family r coping then maybe ur dad needs the suport. I knwo ur mum cant cope with too much but maybe he just needs company aswell
good luck in ur decision

Thanks Nemo!

Cadmum - It is so unfair that flights etc are so expensive at holiday times - distance and financial constraints can make things so difficult. Financially you would be better off delaying you return but I appreciate that you are probably longing to get bach to your DH and kids. Whatever decision you make wil be the right one for you. Keeping your mum in my thoughts and praying for her speedy recovery.

Cadmum, I'm sorry things aren't going too smoothly for your mum. It must be so hard with such a long journey each way. Do you have any brothers or sisters at all who are helping?
Think Nemo was spot on about it being your Dad who may welcome the support. Hospitals are terribly draining for all involved. {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

Cadmum - sorry to hear that its all a bit difficult with your Mum. I would be inclined to stay on a bit longer seeing as your DH seems to be coping. Nothing is ever easy is it !!
Hugs to you at this time

I understand that you must feel torn Cadmum my thoughts are with you.

Rom, have you seen the other thread? Sounds like the advice is to back off training once a BFP appears although I'm still not too sure what to do in the 2WW. Think I might be too scared to carry on after a BFP in case something bad happens. DP has promised to keep going with training for sponsored run even if I have to stop.
Quite good really as I have something to look forward to now even if I don't get a BFP before July. (By look forward to, I mean reaching the finish line and being given oxygen, rather than the actual run !!)

Your garden must be huge Bella. 15 fir trees!!!! No wonder you have called in help. I get knackered just mowing the thing!!

George - no its not massive, 70ft. The fir trees were there instead of a fence but were so big that they blocked out all the light and therfore nothing ever grew!
As regard training, I reckon you should keep going until you get a BFP. I think as long as you listen to your body and don't be extreme you should be ok but to stop or slow down once you get a BFP. At the end of the day most of us had a m/c due to our beanie not having the correct chromosome info not because we caused a m/c by external factors so really although we feel very cautious there's no real reason to be extra careful as regards exercise etc.

I have a question for you ladies. Has anyone had genetic counselling? After we lost ds because of Potters Syndrome our GP advised us to have some genetic work done on the off chance that there is something between DH and me that would increase our probabilty of having another child with this condition, even though our consultant told us at the time that it was just one of those things and would not happen again and to go home and get busy making another baby. Also found out that it is more likely to have a boy with Potters Syndrome than a girl. We have just got our appointment for the Medical Genetics Clinic for the 7th April and I was interested to know what the appointment would entail. It says in the letter that this is a 40 minute appointment so I assume that it is not just a blood sample. I am really glad this appointment has come through before we start IVF although again the IVF consultant was not worried about having any genetic testing before we started the IVF process, but I think I would feel more at ease if we had it done rather than achieveing a pregnancy and then worring myself stupid until the 20 week scan that the same thing was going to happen again. Assuming of course that I manage to get pregnant again, but have to keep positive - I can and I will!
Any advice would be appreciated.

sorry wendy, not had genetic counselling, but hope your appointment shows it was indeed a 'fluke' of nature and not anything that may come back. tell us all about it, we all certainly wonder 'why' when it comes to our m/cs.
George, apparently if yours already fit and training, pg shouldnt stop you, if however youre not, then youre supposed to ease off. and take it up again later (second trimester) i remember quiet clearly my dr telling me this. i'm so not fit tho!!! the only things he recommended against was bike riding (cause your balance tends to go to pot) and horse riding, and the only thing i used to do was ......horse riding! so now walk dog and ferry children/clean house and thats about all. so good luck to you, how fabulously positive it sounds, running the race. my dh has announced he would like to run a marathon......which is an extremely humerous thought if you'd ever met him. but who knows; stranger people have done it.
cadmum, thanks for your kind words. i'm so determined this new cycle, this 'third cycle' after a m/c (including the 'gap pre af after mc/) is when we conceived Mollie -our dd2, so its an omen i've decided. fingers crossed. i can now relate to your feeling of never ever getting pg again Bella, that hit you as last af struck. i felt exactly like that. takes a few days of telling myself how silly that is for it to wear off. just felt desperate. this week is payday so am shopping (and baking of course!) to hurry the week by.
oh cadmum, i cant help when it comes to advice on staying or going.....i'm 100% sure you dad and mum need you around, but i do know the strong pull back to the children. mine drive me mad, but even a night out and i'm very ready to go home to them again. hope whatever you do works out well. think it is mothers guilt you have...always wondering if you should be someplace else. like working or at home.....
Nemo, yes i read somewhere 2pm is aroudn the best time, tho i assume you mean not wee for awhile before hand and not all morning before!!!! eek!!! i also read that the top time for baby making sex is about 4.30-5.30pm........ hmm, this could be quite tricky for me, and anyone else whos dh works!!!!!!! but hey am willing to try anything, so on dhs days off, or during quiet days he will be summoned home!!!!
most importantly, (and then i really will shut up honest) i read more on opks.......so when you DO get your + sign you could be seeing either the start or middle or end of the surge. so bd-ing just 24hrs later could be too late......fertility friend FAQ says this better than me, but basically dont assume (as i did to my peril) you have the full 24/48hrs to 'get busy'
looking back at my calendar chart of when i did and didnt bd, i see i missed 24hrs before + sign and about 12 after.duh!.. so went to bed happier last might as found a'reason' it hadnt happened, something i could fix, iykwim.
found those cheaper smiley face ones at......um........earlypregnancy.co.uk , i think anyhow, went so many places searching for bargain!!!
hope everyones having a good evening

Evening Everyone,

Typed a mega message before & then the system crashed typical!

Sorry af has arrived pinkdiamond.

Bella 23 yes I am testing this weekend providing I can hold out that long! Not holding out much hope though as not really any symtoms except slightly sore boobs (sorry tmi).

I agree that bding does become a bit of a means to an end - I've done the same this month & tried to get back to enjoying it iykwim.

I'm here Romilly - what date are you testing?

Worriedbev I OV on day 8 this month & day 9 last month so it could be possible.

Cadmum, it must be really hard for you at the moment, I'm thinking of you.

I have decided to stay with my parents until Friday. When I called to change my flight the receptionist (at Westjet, if you can pardon the advertising) was FANTASTIC. She waived the cancellation fee and changed my flight to Friday which would have ordinarily been very expensive. I will not know if staying is the best choice until Friday. I sincerely hope and pray that my mum will have turned the corner by then because I really don't want to be so far away when she is feeling so awful...
My older two fully understand that grandma needs me. DS1 (nearly 8) sighed but assured me that he wouldn't cry and dd said see you on Friday then. ds2 had a big cry and dh informed me that our ds2 has wet the bed the last two nights and will only sleep with dh. It is only 3 days and I will make it up to them all somehow.
I will also be testing this week-end if no af.

Cadmum glad you made a decision re staying on - sure you must feel better. Gang will be fine - I left mine for a wk 2 yrs ago - though when I got back mealtimes had descended into complete anarchy
im same as you cycle wise - cd26, no sign of af thou def dont feel pg, saving my energy for bding nxt month, have done v little this month as felt couldnt handle the stress of being pg again just now
wendy - try prof lesley regans bk - miscarriage - what every woman needs to know - great section in there re genetics
will see if back from 4 day trip to newcastle where was at uni many moons ago in time ti unwrap persona - feel bound to come on in meantime
prob wont check in before weekend - so good luck to any testers

Cadmum - glad you have decided to stay on until Friday, I bet your parnts will appreciate it. So nice of the airline to be understanding, really touches you when people act like that for once!!
DQ - glad you have got yourself out of your slump, its hard isn't it when it just hits you like that when AF arrives. Sounds to me though like you have things in hand, where there is a will there is a way - We will get there, we just need to remind each other once in a while when things look bleak!
Yellowbear - lets hope you can hold off testing until the weekend, am excited for you
Hereshopping. have a fab time with your old uni mates
Wendy, sorry can't offer any advice on genetic councelling, would be interesting to hear how it goes on the 7th, perhaps time for some internet surfing on the subject before hand. Will see if i can find you anything.
Anyway ladies, getting badgered to sort through bills (yawn0 so better go......

Some interesting definitions I found in Toni Weschlers book to entertain you this evening

Mucusology - The inexact science of attempting to determine the timing of ovulation

Coitus timeruptus - The practice of timing intercourse to correspond with the timing of ovulation

"The Sperminator" - Nickname for any friend of your husbands who insists on extended sauna sessions after playing squash

Briefectomy - Furtive removal of all tight fitting briefs from your husbands underwear drawer

Assincline - The odd looking practice of elevating a womens buttocks after intercourse in order the maximise the sperms ability to swim for the egg

Eggswhiteation - The incredible excitement one feels when finding eggwhite mucus when not even loking for it

Eggsuberebt - The joy you feel upon finding out that you ovulated

Eggstra sensory preception - The certain knowledge that this time sexual intercourse will result in pregnancy

OK I will stop. Hope this gives you a laugh. It certainly brought a smile to my face. I was reading these to pass the time while rear end up on pillow for 15 mins after BD but don't think DH saw the funny side given what we had been doing . Sorry if tmi

wendy those are v funny. and very apt!

Wendy I think I have got that lesley reagan book at home I can check tonight for you. I will post it to you tomorrow if I have just check on site tomorrow then email me a postal address if you want it.

I don't know about genetic counselling but I'm sure all will be explained at your appt.

LOL Wendy, esp Assincline
Hope everyone is OK this morning.
Cadmum, so pleased you have decided to stay for a while longer, I'm sure your folks will really appreciate it and will probably put your mind at rest for when you do return home.

Seeing as it raining, I've booked our summer holiday today. Off to sunny St Ives in August. Poor kids have never been abroad. Just worried that once we take them on a plane, they won't ever be as happy again with Devon & Cornwall plus we would never be able to pack everything without grounding the plane!

Babydust to all esp testers for this week. (Rom / Y Bear / Cadmum, anyone else?)

george, we holiday in Portugal mostly, (inlaws have villa there) and youd be amazed at the amount of stuff i can get in my HUGE suitcases!!! LOL dh always is.......well more horrifed than amazed....

Hello all

Cadmum I'm sure you are doing the right thing,

George good news you have booked your Hols

Ok so I am on day 24 and am desperate to test I know them stupid doctors said it wouldn't happen but. I am only sleeping a few hours a night as am too hot most of the time. Feel sick at different periods during the day am not hungry and have huge boobs. As in nearly hangin out of my bra. It feels like it did last time. I can't bring myself to talk to DP as he is in Dublin this week so would like to test before he gets back on friday. Is that too soon???

Hello ladies
Dyzz - am soooooooo excited for you, so you are on CD 24 today, test on Thursday? or test every day this week if you have a load of tests burning a whole!
George - great you have booked a holiday, how rainy is it today??
Sorry if a bit personal but how do you keep the spark going when you are bding to order? We have decided to do the deed every night this week but have to say its proving a bit of a passion killer for me and am just going through the motions....any ideas?

My DH bought us a really cool game last christmas to try and put some spice back in (well to be honest get our s*x life going again!) called Nooki - it's sooo cool. You choose 3 cards each and you have to do what it says on the card to the other person, you throw a dice to tell you how long you have to do it for . While you might not want to go through the 'whole performance' you can certainly choose a couple of cards each and just do that

Oooh Diz, sounds a bit exciting. Might be early enough to test if you have the really sensitive tests otherwise I'd wait until Thurs / Fri. Fingers crossed for you.
I think having 3 weeks off work is really helping my spark Bella! Think I might struggle with every day though. I'm working on the theory that he needs every other day off to build up some good stock!!
Think I might have to get hold of your game Harrizeb, for when I go back to work. I'll need something!!

Am going to check out that game, sounds good. Yes george the thing is after a long day at work, without the luxury of even a glass of wine (as trying to be good on that front) what you actually want is a nice long sleep with no interuptions !!! Keep just focusing on the long term. No O sign yet on persona...really hoping for one this week.

Afternoon ladies

Dyzzidi - keeping everything crossed for you. Really hope it is good news for you. Doctors are not always right. I will check site tomorrow and then get in touch with you if you have that book. Thanks.

I got a face this morning on OPK so will be busy for the next couple of days

Bella I know what you mean about going through the motions. The beginning and end of the cycle are fine but the middle bit where you know you have to do the deed can be stressful and we are supposed to be cutting stress out of our lives - little chance of that happening when every time you bd you wonder if this is the time.

Hope everyone is feeling in top form today.