emmsys room...only a few left...we WILL graduate the final few :-)

[QueenyEisGotTheBall]

hi ladies
here is a nice new thread with some nice brand spanking new bags of baby dust....
() (**)
i will bring our list over in a sec after i have linked
COME ON GIRLS WE WILL GET TO THAT ANTENATAL THREAD BEFORE EMMSY POPS!!!!!!!
xx ei xx

Sparkly I can't believe they can't get you in for an ERPC before Friday, it really makes me realise how lucky I've been with my two mm/c as I've been able to be taken in the next day both times and not had to wait. I am so pleased that you have found sympathy and empathy at the hospital though, it really helps you get through, even when it upsets you at least it's a "nice" upset and gives you comfort. If you have decided you would rather have the ERPC I think you should definately push for it hun.
Really hope you manage to get some sleep, take care of yourself, and if you want someone to look after your DD stick her on the train it's not too far
xxxxx

So sorry to hear your news Sparkly I was really hoping it would be good news. Having had 2 blighted ovum m/c's in the past year, I understand some of what your feeling. I had an erpc with the first one, natural m/c with the 2nd. Should I ever have to choose again, would probably go the erpc route again, although I'm not a fan of surgery/general anesthetic. But my reason for that would be that with the natural m/c I waited 2wks for it begin, after being told pregnancy wasn't viable, and the m/c wasn't complete, so my hcg levels were monitored for 6wks and it was a long drawn out saga basically. In hindsight, I would have done the erpc route again but didn't want to do that twice in 2mths. Anyway, that was my experience of both, hope you can find what works best for you, at such a difficult time.
On a different note, I think af has arrived for me today, disappointed but what can you do. Not helped by the fact that we have been told 3 friends are pregnant, in the last 3wks - enough now

Haven't managed to get any rest yet - have been chatting away on the phone...my phone bill is going to be huugggeeeee but never mind .
DP is still off work but not sure he can do anything by being here. He's lying next to me reading. He's been slightly emotional twice but seems to be doing ok.
The co-codamol have made me feel a bit strange - at least I think it's them. I feel really drowsy and relaxed. I don't usually take medication so I'm prob imagining it.
Still waiting for hospital to call but imagine that will take a while.
Oh, can you remove me from the list on the next update? Thanks.

Sparkly I'm so dreadfully sorry to hear your news. I feel totally useless sitting at my pc writing this as I know how totally totally crap you feel. I just want to let you know that if there's anything I can do to help you thru this please just shout. It's a bit of a roller coaster and there's no right or wrong way to feel whilst you're going through it. Only bit of advice I can give is to let yourself experience whatever emotions you are feeling at the time. I know it's difficult with DD. I wish I'd been more able to cry after my 2nd m/c. But I bottled it all up and put a smile of my face. Then fell of a cliff emotionally 3 months later. Not a pretty sight. It's very cliched to say this, but just look after yourself for the next few weeks. DD will survive and so will DH. Call on your RL friends if you can and take some time to heal. Wishing there's more I can do. Much much love. xxxxxxxxx

Hey Scully. Sorry to hear that TEW got you. Sending you (((((((hugs))))) as well. It's sh&t when someone announces they're pregnant and you have to stand there with big false smile on face. It never rains but it pours huh. i do however really believe that everything happens for a reason. It's just finding the sodding reason! xxxxxxxxx

Thanks HTGG.

My RL friends have been fantastic and are giving me so more support. Have been on the phone most of the day.

D&C will happen on Tuesday if I do not m/c naturally before. Have been told to contact the hospital if the bleeding becomes heavy so they can re-scan me.

Scully Sorry for forgetting to reply before. My brain doesn't seem to be retaining information - I'm so sorry she got you again . It's crap when so many people announce their pregnancies. It WILL be your turn very soon. xxx

scully CD1 Cycle 5 TTC#3 (m/c Apr08 & Aug07)
Piper ??.??° CD6 TTC#1
HTGG CD18 Cycle 3 TTC#3 (MMC Nov07/MC Mar08)
Kate2179 CD18 ttc#1 (mmc Nov 07 & mc April 08)
QueenyEi ??.??° CD27 cycle 10 ?DPO TTC#2 (CP april 08 & june 08)
Sparkly
Molliemooma

Emmsy1 33 weeks pg, EDD 23 Oct
cricri 32 weeks pg, EDD 1 November
Mibbes 27 weeks pg, EDD 6 December
Yarnie 12 weeks pg, EDD 20th March
Fruity 12 weeks pg, EDD 22nd March
Teeheelaydee 9 weeks pg, EDD 12th April

Hello ladies. Thought it was best to get the list over and done with after you mentioned it Sparkly, I hope that's right.

Sparkly I am AMAZED that the hospital can't fit you in until next friday for an erpc, that's ridiculous. If you decide you definitely want to go down the erpc route I'd really push for that, keep phonong them etc or ask DP to. As others on here have said, so often it seems to be that those who get what they want/need on the nhs are those who shout the loudest and are the most persistent. If you go down the medically managed (drugs) route would it be as an in-patient or at home? Just thinking that if they'd send you home to do it you could tell them about DD and say that's not possible (another reason why you need an erpc). Anything to get them to get on with it. So wish there was something I could do for you.... xx

Oh, Sparkly. I really don't know what to say except that I am so dreadfully sorry . I very much hoped it wouldn't come to this. There is a lot of love and support for you in this room and, I am sure, IRL too. I hope that helps towards easing you gently through all of this with the minimum physical and mental upset. Thinking of you. .

Scully I'm also sorry to hear that TEW got you, particularly when you've had the "pleasure" of being on the receiving end of so many pg announcements. That sucks. Lots of luck for a more fruitful cycle this time round.

Hi ladies,
DD had a lovely day with my mother and then my sister. She came back full of beans and we played dominos. She's just gone to bed as the pains are getting worse and have sent DP out for some pads....I actually just made myself laugh. A friend of ours (who is gay) told me that when gay men get older they are unable to control their muscles in their bottoms because of the damage....I'm sure you can work out the rest of this (sorry!!!!) but someone might be thinking poor DP needs the pads for this reason.
Have taken some more pain killers and can just about cope with the pain at the moment...I feel as though I'm in labour. Am wondering whether I'll make it to Tuesday with these pains...they are so strong so I might not even need the ERPC. I really don't want to see anything though. It's impossible not to look what's on the pad/in the loo. Human nature is very f*cked up, isn't it! I'm also starting to bleed more. Hope I don't have to be admitted to emergency gynae though.

Sparkly Well I suppose Tuesday is better than Friday but still not good enough I'm so sorry it's dragging on for you hun, how are you holding up?
Scully Sorry TEW got you, how come the timing of all these pg announcements always come just as you get AF and realise it's another cycle all over again It's sods law isn't it, sending you a long distance hug x
Kate How you feeling today?
Hello to everyone else, hope you are all keeping well

Sparkly I hope this doesn't upset you, I hope it might help... When I had Thomas I also didn't want to see him. I ended up having him on the loo . They said to put a kidney dish under the seat in case any "product" came out when I went for a wee, and, much to my surprise as the contractions had suddenly stopped about 45 minutes previously when my waters broke, out he popped.
I still managed not to see him though. Obviously I could feel something had happened, and DH actually came and had a look what it was, I told him to just get the nurse, but he did it himself . I had one of those attractive open at the back hospital gowns on and it was sort of like a wide apron at the front if that makes sense, so it blocked my view.
I don't know if any of that will help you if you end up passing the sack at home tonight, it sounds like that's the way things are going . Please shout if there's ANYTHING I can do. And remember you can take neurofen and paracetamol at the same time. If the pain gets too much get down to the hospital if you can, otherwise get a doctor out and demand they give you morphine. No point being in pain physically as well as mentally. I am thinking of you lovely xx

Kate Thanks for sharing your experience with me - I was talking to my friend today and she said she felt the same as you after she gave birth to her DD. What I'm going through now is nowhere near as bad as what the pair of you have been though. I can't imagine how you've both got the strength to get out of bed everyday. The GP next door has given me 2 loads of painkillers...one is co-codamol and can't remember the name of the other ones. Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts. It means so much to me. Have just had some sushi which made me feel a bit better and the pain seems to be easing again. xxxx

Sparkly Sorry to hear that bleeding and cramping has started in earnest As far as bleeding is concerned, I think as long as you're not having to change the pad more frequently than every hour then it's OK but if you're in any doubt then please go to A&E. The cramping is horrible and I also found it came in waves. Don't stint on the painkillers and as Kate said, don't be afraid to ask for something stronger if necessary. Thinking of you and hope you can get some sleep tonight. xx

hi girls
sparkly i totally know what you mean when you say you dont want to see anything if possible on my 1st MC i insisted that i pass everything into a kidney dish at the gynae emergency in my local hosp and the nurse who was with me covered it and took it away once i had passed everything the idiot junior doctor came in to see me holding the uncovered dish to ask if my dates were right as the 'product' was the size of a 12 week preg and it was not something i wished to see as others have said. i have no experience of the erpc route but my mcs have been natural losses and quite drawn out as my first i bled for 2 days before and 2.5 weeks afterwards if you feel the erpc is the best way for you then go for it as it is so incredibly personal and noone can tell you what to do best for you please dont feel alone even though it is such a lonely thing to go through like i said to you earlier i found it easier to be emotional when i was alone as i tend to put a brave face on in company. i worked through alot of my emotions on my own so if you feel that would be helpful to you dont feel as if you have to explain it to anyone as some people dont understand as i found out.
take good care of yourself and try to get some rest xxxx lots of love and huge hugs {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
hi to everyone else xx
xx ei xx

Sparkly just wanted to say am so sorry you are going through this, I have no experience to share and am just so, so sad for you . I hope you don't have to see anything and that you are managing to cope with the pain - sending you big hugs and loads of love xx

Kate sorry you are having such a tough time - I so hope your luck change soon hun xx

scully so sorry TEW got you

I have had a mini-drama today as had some blood this morning - went to the hospital as they wanted to check me out due to being rhesus negative. Was kept in most of the day having tests but all is well and bleed has stopped now. I was given anti-D and eventually sent home.

Sparkly I'm so glad you have a GP for a next door neighbour

Not sure re frequency of pad changing, I was told to call the hospital if I was having to change it every 20 minutes or more... If your body is trying to pass the sack, or a clot etc (hope that doesn't sound too awful ) then you will bleed more heavily as your body tries to flush it through. I don't really understand that myself as I don't get where the blood comes from to be able to do this, but I know that's right. One of the reasons you can end up needing an erpc if you have very heavy bleeding after you have passed the sack is that it can indicate there's some "retained product" your body is struggling but failing to pass.

Here endeth the science lesson. They say a little bit of knowledge is a very dangerous thing...!

Am very impressed with the sushi! To be so chic at such a time! And really glad the cramps are easing off. Hope you can get some sleep.

Someone told me before Thomas was born that you never know how much you can cope with til you have to. Before I had him I would have been so scared to hear what you are going through, but there really is nothing to be scared about, I promise. I got to the stage before I had Thomas that nothing could have been any worse than what I was imagining. Obviously the pain was shit, but once I got the morphine going it was just a process I had to go through. I was ok, and you will be too. Really hope that makes sense xx

Hello mibbes! Cross posted. Sorry to hear about your scare, must have been horrible. Really glad to hear it has all worked out well .

I hope my luck changes soon too . Am off for my first accupuncture session at the new place tomorrow afternoon, and I can't wait! Bit worried my expectations might be a touch on the high side... And the man is coming to fit the carpet in our 2 spare rooms tomorrow. Hurrah! Meanwhile I will be doing an appeal against sentence, but you can't have everything

Hello to everyone else I've never been a fan of group hugs before, but I think we could all do with one about now.

i totally agree with what kate says xx and i have some info to add re the heavy bleeding.
it is initially caused by the extra blood vessels that grow around your uterus during preg and the earlier the loss the lower the amount of vessels hence the lighter blood loss in earlier losses. as the clots come away (sorry ) and are passed there is a small surge of oxytocin which causes the cramping and then searing the vessels off from further bleeding much the same as when the placenta comes away in a birth and blood follows. the cramps are essentially mini contractions to cause this and minimalise the bleeding.
here ends eis installment of biology 101 if i remember any more i will add it in tomorrow night xx
take care all xx
xx ei xx

oops forgot to add
mibbes sorry to hear about your bleed how far along are you?? the reason i ask is that i had a bleed at around 32 weeks with DD and the hospital basically told me it is normal and sennt me packing it sounds like your local hosp were really thorough and have made sure that all bases are covered. i hope you are ok and you are getting lots of rest xxx
xx ei xx

Morning ladies

Did look at the thread last night but just felt so didn't post. Sad for Sparkly of course but also sad that so many of us have stories to share. So, I guess i just felt sad for pretty much everyone. All these fantastic women who just want to be good mums and have all these obstacles in the way.

Today though I also think it is amazing that we just keep picking ourselves (and each other) up and trying again. It is quite incredible.

Sparkly Some of the others have said things that rung true with me too. You will be able to cope with far more than you may think. I remember when I got pg with No3 thinking that it had better stick as there was no way I could cope again, but I did (after a little bump in the road months later).

Ei I know exactly what you mean about having to do your grieving on your own I was the same. Also both you and Kate are so clever, either you moonlight as doctors or me thinks you spend lots of time on the internet!

Mibbes Glad everything OK, hope it didn't stress you out too much.

Mollie Have meant to say a couple of times am so glad that your councilling is going well. Don't panic too much about the sessions running out, I did and the lady I was seeing said as I was making good progress I would be OK - I'm sure you will too and hopefully you will have the tools to keep getting better.

Scully Pregnancy announcements really suck don't they. I swear when you are ttc the whole flippin' world is up the duff!

I have given in to my symptoms today, am sick every morning and usually once I have been I feel OK but today I still feel crappy and have a headache too so bugger it I am staying in bed.

Sparkly I'll be around if you want a chat.

Just checking in
Off to work in a minute. Shall I tell my client not to appeal against his sentence so I can get back to you all sooner?
(Obviously I'd NEVER do that. oh yes I would)

Hope you're ok Sparkly, I'll be back later with some homemade cinammon and raison cookies to get us all through this chilly friday.

xx

Morning girls

Sparkly Did you sleep well after your tripping session last night? Good old pain killers.

Georgie I meant to say the 24th would be fab, see you then x

Mibbes What a worry They tell you to relax during pregnancy but how can you when you have to go through hurdles like this.

Scully I think every single one of my friends bar 1 or 2 are pregnant. Do you ever get the "Oh we didn't expect it to happen so quickly, DH must have super sperm" If I had a pound for every time that was said I'd be a very rich lady indeed and they'd have to re-name me The Duchess of Merton

Kate you'd better share out those homemade cinnamon and raisin cookies girl!

Mollie I need you to put on your Wedding Planner hat because I'm a little worried about this weather. Our venue is an outside venue with only the cover of marquees. I thought this would be fine for the 22nd Sept but it's absolutely bloody freezing already this year I don't mind if it rains a bit so long as it's not cold. We're arranging to have Dragon Boat racing across the lake, that lake will be freezing! I don't know what to do. My Dad has put down the deposit with is rather a lot of money so I cant very well change my mind now (Although my Mum thinks I can but she doesn't like him very much at the moment - they're not together btw)
I absolutely adore the venue though. Also How do I go about trying on Wedding dresses? I'm still going to be pretty big once the baby is out and I reckon it'll take a good couple of months to lose the main bulk of it. Which means I'll have to start trying on dresses around June/July time. That gives only 2 months for them to do any alterations
Maybe I'm worrying about nothing, I'm sure it'll all fit into place.

I hope everyone else is well today, good luck to the 2WWers!

Good morning lovely ladies,
I am so flattered that you all care so much. Having you lot to answer my questions helps more than I could have imagined.
Pain was very bad last night so DP got me a hot water bottle and after some more pain killers I fell asleep until 7am.
Have just had a bath and washed my hair (used some more of my SpaceNK products so I smell soo much better than I did).
Didn't bleed all night but passed a small amount this morning with quite a large clot. Do you think I'll know once I've passed the sac?

Mibbes Hope you're ok my RH- buddy. I' wondering when I'll be given my anti d. Don't think I'll need it if I manage to m/c naturally before 11 weeks. xxx
Teehee Sorry to hear you're feeling so poorly. Put your feet up...sod work!! Get some ginger biscuits and look after yourself xxx
Kste Lots of luck for your appeal today and for your session. Will be thinking of you. xxx

Sparkly Glad you managed to sleep OK. In answer to your question, I more or less knew when I had passed the sac (although I didn't look). The bleeding was very heavy for a few hours and then eased up and the cramping tailed off. I assume that you'll be offered a scan at some stage to check that the mc is complete? (sorry, I hate all these medical terms as well - ERPC has to be the worst of the lot )
Mibbes Sorry to hear about your bleed and worry. Just when you think things are getting easier Glad everything is OK though.
Kate Hope the acupuncture goes well. I've found it a great help. Good luck with your client too
Fruity Friends of ours got married on 22 September a few years ago and it was a boiling hot day! Unfortunately you can never tell what the weather is going to be like on the day - I've been to weddings in July and August when it's been cold and wet. I think you just have to hope everything is going to be OK and have contingency plans just in case. In your case that may mean deciding on the Dragon boat racing at the last minute depending on the weather. As for dresses, most shops only have a size 16 for you to try on so don't worry too much about your size. Would it be an idea to go and start trying some on now so that you get an idea of what styles you like before you get too big? I chose mine a year before my actual wedding although it wasn't ordered until nearer the time. I just knew it was the right one too. A lot of the dresses come from the US so it takes a couple of months for them to be ordered in and if you need alterations then that will delay things a bit too, although a lot of wedding shops are used to working to tight deadlines and will do their best to have everything ready. How exciting - I loved all the planning. It distracts us from all the bad news of recent weeks too.
Talking of weddings, where is Piper? Haven't seen her around for a while.
Scully Sorry AF got you and sorry you're having to deal with lots of pg announcements too. It's so hard Fingers crossed for this month.
Hello to everyone else