Assisted Conception and the bits inbetween

[soosy]

Welcome to the new thread I only hope I can link it to the old one

hi ladies,

Londonlottie - sweden sounds interesting, let us all know how you get on on Saturday.

Soosy - great news on the house - hope it all goes smoothly for you.

Sooty - if all goes to plan I think I might just beat you to it by a few days. By my reckoning I'd hope to be finished by 4th August. I've got a scan on Monday to see if I can move to phase 2. Still doing well so far, was a bit emotional on Sunday but other than that I feel great.

Hello to everyone who's just found the site / this thread.

I'm going to go now as I've only just got in from work and feel very tired...

good night.

lottie and soosy, thanks for your replies. I've been insisting to DH ever since we got the letter with our referral date on it that I think we've been referred to the wrong person, but he still has the utmost faith in GPs to do the right thing . I've asked him again to phone today to find out. Hope he does, and doesn't just say 'I was too busy'. Unfortunately, although we are being treated as a couple, our GP surgery still won't talk to me about DH.

I hope, if they have made an incorrect appointment, it won't take too long to get a proper one. Waiting until October seems like an absolute age. I don't know how you're managing to be so patient. I'd be climbing the walls if I was you. I've been bad enough dealing with the 2 months it's taken since the GP saying she would refer us to the first appointment date!

Sweden does sound very interesting. I was looking into the Netherlands but you have to be a resident there to get treatment (was thinking if we did go down the donor route where we'd find a donor with similar features to DH). I love Sweden too. Lived there for a year during my degree.

Am tempted to jump the boat and go private, but I also want to find out what, if anything, has caused this and also which course of treatment is right for us.

Hi all, and welcome to the newy's. I know how you feel about being impatient with the NHS glastochick, I have had my fare share of frustrations with my clinic. I think what it comes down to is age, if I was in my early thirties it wouldn't worry me so much, but as I am 39 (37 when I sought treatment) it all seems to be a little bit more pressured. I don't know how old you are but I think that is the major consideration as to wether to go private at this stage. In some ways I wish I had skipped the whole clomid, IUI stuff and waiting list and gone straight to IVF, but then again things are always clearer in hindsight.

Glad you are kicking off the waiting room Mowmi, you can plump up the cushions and get the kettle going . . .

How about you soosie? Are you going to commit to another harvest?

Going away to 40th this weekend with a gaggle of gay men, at least I won't feel like the only childless couple for once!

Hi all just checking in. Feeling really low at the moment - think it's a massive post-ivf come down
Soosy great news about the house
sooty can't believe you're starting again and I've not even got £500 together towards the next go
LL
Glasto I'm sure I know you - from ttc#1?

Sorry to hear you are feeling down nomore, I think this is such a hard process, and I am not having the face the financial side yet . . . but the only reason I have savings is because the whole house price inflation over the last few years has priced me out - so our deposit we saved is going to go to IVF if we need to. Typical of my generation I guess . . . But I seem to remember you are quite young - so you have time on your side. And don't forget it might still happen naturally . . . a friend of mine, had 4 cycles, gave up and bought a dog and lo and behold now has a two year old! She was TTC for over seven years. I think when you are young there is still a chance of this happening . . . so fingers crossed.

well londonlottie I'm not sure what to say, I think if I had my time again I would probably have skipped straight to IVF, mainly because being older is just another added pressure in the process - having said that the statistics do hold quite well until 40. Unlike the natural conception figures which drop significantly after 35, it seems to be more gradual with IVF. It also depends on your lifestyle/job as well. I have had to put mine on hold (because I couldn't do my job and meet the appointments) so this is another area of frustration for me - doing a less interesting job in order to do this. This is another reason for getting onto cycles more quickly . . .

Have a good weekend . .. sooty.

Happy Birthday sooty

I'm 32 (turn 33 next week, gulp) so young in IVF terms I guess but starting to think I'm 'getting old' . I've always thought I'd have 3 children, but at the moment I just have to focus on the one.

nomore, you do indeed know me from TTC#1. I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling down. Hugs.

DH phoned our Dr yesterday evening and she confirmed we have been referred to the correct person. At our appointment we should expect to be asked a lot of questions and we will then be referred onwards to other specialists. I hope this doesn't take too long. I really feel we ought to give the NHS a chance, as we are eligible for one free cycle at the private ISIS Fertility Center in Colchester if the NHS decides that is the route for us. But at the same time, I looked at the website for Falun and got quite excited. They seem to have such good success rates and I like the idea that treatment is a fixed price, and they take embies to 5 day blastocysts (which, I have discovered, you have to pay extra for here).

I look forward to hearing how you get on at your appointment on Saturday lottie

It's not my 40th . . . I am not (quite) there yet !

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry! Don't know why I read that you were!

No worries . . . glastochick, I normally don't give a shit about my age . . . it's just this fertility stuff makes one a little more sensitive, doesn't it?

nomore, I'm so sorry you're feeling blue. it's such a hard, long road that we go down. For me, on getting pregnant with dd, I never imagined it would take so long (7 years) or cost so much. I always thought getting pregnant was after dinner out / couple of drink in the pub and hey diddle diddle, bob's your uncle. 2 thoughts helped me during all this: one, that we are incredibly lucky to have the options we do now. 20 years ago I would have been told there was nothing to do and i may as well have a hysterectomy at 30-odd; two, that I am very blessed that I have a wonderful life, a wonderful man, and a wonderful large family with lots of children to borrow (not the same, I know). But grieving for every failed attempt is totally normal and grief isn't convenient or predictable as to when it hits you - the day after, a month after.

I think we each have to find what it is that keeps us sane through this lottery. That and a stiff g&t on a friday night! talking of which, I think the yardarm has been crossed here. [shuffles off to raid the gin bottle]

Hello girls

Can I introduce myself (though I know a few on here) and ask a few questions?

I am 42, and conceived four times between 39 and 41. I lost them all to miscarriage, the last two were both found to have chromosonal abnormalities. No doubt the others did too. I've had all the tests, and there's nothing the matter with me.

As it's now been more than a year since I last conceived, I went to see a fertility specialist this week (privately, as I can't deal with the NHS any more. It makes me want to kill). She surprised me by saying I should try IVF. Surprised, because I'd always conceived Ok in the past. I am ovulating, have no blocked tubes, and my womb lining is a good thickness.

She said that if I respond well (which I should, as I have low FSH) they could do PGS on the embryos, and put back the ones that are OK.

To add to the confusion in my head, I have just been offered a new job. As time is of the IVF essence, it looks like I'll be doing it during the first few months of new job. Not ideal.

So, I have a few questions. Does that sound right to anyone, that the best bet for a non-conceiving but fertile 42-year-old is IVF? What are the waiting times like at clinics like ARGC and the Lister? How much time is needed off work? Could one, for example, nip out at lunchtime for a scan? (I know embryo transfer etc is probably rather more time-consuming...)

It seems pretty clear that they think you'll have better luck if they do pgs on the embryos - maybe they will get a better idea if your miscarriages were due to embryo faults or something else (such as your immune system rejecting the pregnancies).

I am at the Lister but started there a while ago. I can't tell you what the queues are like but I do know they are a fabulous team once you get going. All the blood tests and scans are pretty prompt (I sometimes have to wait 1/2 after appointment time) and are mostly fast to do. So you could definitely do them at lunchtime or pop out earlier. Not ideal, but we're not in an ideal world. Embryo transfer is also pretty quick - 15mins. You'll need to take a day off work for the harvest.

FYI - I have pgs there too.

HI Herbaceous, just a quick note because I didn't want to scare you off with my earlier comment about having to change jobs. . . it's not that IVF is so bad, it was that I was in a job which is completely inflexible in terms of hours (working on set in film & TV you never know where you will be location wise each day and you work in a team - so each cog needs to be present when the camera rolls). And it is such a competitive industry that as a freelancer if you are to beg time off for anything less than a death in the family - well you just won't work again . . . so it was unusual circumstances that have made me change jobs.

In essence there is really only two weeks in a cycle that are time consuming, you will be scanned between three and four times in that period (which take 15 mins), and there will one wipe-out day for the egg collection. I am not sure about the waiting time at the clinics you mention, mine really varies from 5 to 50 minutes, but I am with the NHS in Hackney so . . . ?

If you were able to get a clinic close to work I would expect you could manage it with a normal job, even a new one.

Okay, now I am really going to Germany for that 40th now . . have a good weekend all AUFIEDESEN . . sooty.

I think I misworded my question - I really wanted to know the waiting times for initial consultation, treatment, etc...

My new job is in docklands, and all the clinics seem to be in the west end, but the jubilee line could help me out.

I'm almost expecting IVf to fail, but at least I'll have given it all my last shot.

My consultant was v good, and independent, and had high opinions of both the ARGC (controversial, and picky about who they treat, but will stop at nothing to get you PG) and the Lister (a bit more gentle, but still v thorough).

just thought I'd pop in to say hello before I go to bed.
Hope everyone has had a good weekend.
Sooty - how you doing?
I'm still ok but do feel really bloated (might just be AF about to arrive?) having my day 15 scan tomorrow so I should get a better idea of phase two and the rest of the schedule.
Hope everyone is well. x

Herbaceous, just an FYI on the Lister, if you are in Canary Wharf they have now opened a facility in the City (so just hop on the DLR) where you can get blood tests and scans done. You still need to go to Chelsea for egg collection etc but it does make it an easier round trip during the busy scanning times.

Hi all, I've been lurking for a while, but am new to posting. I think I'm also about to join this IVF rollercoaster. My last attempt of ttc was with IVF drugs and IUI which left me with 2 large cysts on my ovaries. Not what I'd expected obviously. I had them removed but have been bleeding and still don't feel quite right. Am very nervous about trying the same procedure again and think it would be better to move straight onto IVF as I'm 38. But I'm also nervous about IVF too. Any opinions greatfully received!

Hi all, hope you had a good weekend. LL that fair sounded quite good - pity I missed it. I am just going to add my 2 pence worth about Clomid. I did it and hated it, first of all it made me very weepy, which got worse over the six months, and I had bad headaches (which I did overcome by taking pills at night), then I got suicidal (no really!). I think it should come with a warning sign. Of course you may not experience these side effects, but it is worth knowing because they are quite common. Also another side effect was that all my fertile cervical mucus disappeared, and that Clomid is renown for creating a hostile environment. I had read this before I took it, and raised it with my Gyne (not the one I am with now) and he dismissed it . . . but he was wrong, wrong, wrong. The whole Clomid thing felt very futile to me.

If you are going to use Clomid I would suggest tracking it (scans) and having artificial insemination (IUI) at the same time. This is still heaps cheaper than IVF and less invasive than needles etc.

Alternatively I had four rounds of IUI with low doses of the IVF drugs before going to IVF, I found this much better as the IVF drugs at that dosage had no side effects, and the IUI process rules out the 'hostile vagina' factor.

Anyway, sorry to be a downer on your course of action, but remember forewarned is forearmed !

I just re-read my message LL and realised I have really rained on your parade. . . . maybe other people have had success with it . . . ? Also if you don't feel like you and DP have been really going for it might I suggest "Taking Charge of Your Own Fertility?" by Toni Weschler It is basically how to chart and an ABC of when to work out when you are ovulating. I found it really eyeopening, and although I didn't get pregnant I did discover a lot of things and she also has some suggests as to how to combat the problems with cervical mucous with Clomid. I have a copy I would be happy to pass on . . . I am in North London, if you are nearby you are welcome to pick it up - it is rather heavy to post, but I have no further use for it having moved on to much more drastic measures . . .

Thanks LL, Sorry you are having hassles with your doc. It's so important to be with someone you trust. I do have a clomid success story though. DC 1 was conceived with this drug and I didn't have any side affects. Would definately recommend scans and IUI as sooty suggests. IMO it would be a waste of time otherwise.

I tried clomid again 3x ttc DC2 but as no BFP gynae now suggests IVF drugs due to my age. Am told you shouldn't take clomid more than 11 times in your lifetime.

LOL at 'Hostile Vagina' Sooty - is this a medical term??