***Lets support eachother again- you know who you are ***

[mummy2olivia]

charliesmum, nandos, beakas, sugr, cornflower, poppy, becky and everyone else who miscarried in may/june 2008....

We have all been very brave together and supported eachother. For those of us that are ready, it may be time to support eachother again as we return to TTC. Lets hold hands, remember our loss and give a nod to the future as we endeavour to procreate and............

SHAG!!

As promised, a thread to stay in touch. Will also see you on the MC avengers thread.

ps. Poppy Just told my dad about your ds and he laughed very much

becky sending (((hugs))) for your cold it is horrid when you are pg, tired and feeling poorly all at the same time AND 2 ds's to look after. You take care and hope you feel better soon.

MBM sorry to hear your mum is so bad. One of the ladies I am friendly with on an arthritis internet forum was a solicitor, young with 2 dd's and she ended up so bad with arthritis (stills disease) that she ended up in a wheelchair and took medical retirement. Now she is on one of the new Anti TNF drugs (v expensive about £10,000) a year so it is a lottery who gets them and you need to have failed on 2 anti disease modifying drugs first to be considered for these BUT she has had fairly good success and while she is still ill, she no longer uses the wheelchair unless it is a very very bad day. So quite a good resuly. Obviously there are side effects, but arthur is so bad that it is usually worth the gamble.

I have been told I qualify for these drugs too but you cannot ttc and take them as they are so toxic so I am playing the waiting game!

nandos isn't it exciting when you feel the baby kick. It makes it all so real

I am just back from the school easter service at the church and my friend is going to be a granny again in June and she was showing me a 4d picture of the baby which they have found out is a girl. It was amazing the detail. Exciting times.

Got to go again now as it is nearly time to collect ds from school.
xxx

Hi all

Poppy thank you that's really cheered me up! I've now given the cold to DH! Poor thing went to work in a flurry of sneezes this morning.

Do any of you have any plans for the Easter hols? Next week we're just going to hang around at home. I have to go to a funeral on Thursday in Northamptonshire. A ex-colleague of mine from the days of full-time pre-children work sadly died this week of a brain tumour. He'd been battling it for over ten years (actually since before I knew him) so it was very sad to hear that he'd finally lost the battle. He'd been a bit of an inspiration. The week after that we might have a few days in Wales in my dad's caravan. The DSs are soooo excited. I think I need to do lots of things to fill the time until I get a scan. I have no idea when that will be. I'm as nervous as hell, esp since the MS has eased more recently (still a background sicky feeling but nothing like it was last week).

What would I do without being able to chat to you guys???? I feel so lucky to have this thread and to have 'met' you all. One day we really meet up. That would be fun

Becky We should definately meet up! I don't know what I'd do without you all on this thread. It would be mad to finally meet though wouldn't it! The only person I've met so far in RL through MN is so lovely, and I know that all of you will be too, should we ever be able to manage a get together!
By the way, where is your dad's caravan? My Grandad has a chalet in Porthmadoc (sp?), and my brother and I grew up going there every year and just loved it! It was a caravan then and it was so much fun! Am v envious!

Poppy I had't heard about the new drugs, I must ask mum if it's been mentioned to her. Her condition is complicated by many different factors though, so I'm not sure whether she'd be a candidate or not. It's just so upsetting that they can't just give her something to make her better . Do you think you will try those drugs after a possible next dc?
That's lovely re your friend

Nandos That's so lovely that the baby' kicking. It's such a wonderful feeling!

No sign of my AF yet Having said that it'll probably start this afternoon!

Have to go as have just brought our classroom goldfish back for a holiday here and so have to rescue them from their plastic bags! DS is going to love them

Ooohh Becky forgot to answer your Q - ds and I are going back to UK with dad on Monday and then coming back here on Good Friday. Have just arranged for my lovely RL-MN friend to come over with her family for Easter Sunday!

Have a good arvo all xxx

Morning!
How is everyone? It's been v quiet on this thread

I'm afraid I need a bit of advice. Got a v faint +ve (again) on Friday, and a slightly bolder one Saturday. (Still only just there if you know what I mean.) Started spotting yesterday, and heavier bleeding today. Before I noticed the heavier bleeding I'd already tested, but didn't bother to look at it coz I presumed it would now be -ve, but have just gone back into the bathroom and seen that it's now a definate line, stronger than Saturdays, although still pretty faint. I just don't know what is going on . Any idea's?
I have been feeling a little sick for the last week or so, but then not yesterday or today so far. I don't 'feel' pregnant, whereas on Friday for no reason I just burst into tears at work.
Am so frustrated, just want to know either way. I feel like I'm going mad! I would've mentioned the +ve on Friday to you all, but I wanted to be more sure before 'announcing' anything!
Any advice? Am trying to stay calm, but am scared it's another cp. In which case it's just not normal is it, to have two in a row? Do you think I should go back to my doctor? I just don't know what to do....

Hope you all okay? Becky how are you feeling?

Oh MBM I'm so sorry to hear that.
I think you should go to your doctor for advice and hopefully get your mind put at rest one way or another. Did they mention in the past if there was any help they could give to prevent cp's from happening? (((hugs))) poppy x

Hello everyone!
mbm??? How confusing. You must have had the pg hormones in you so an egg must have been fertilized. I think you should go back to your doctor to talk about this. Have you done another test since this morning? How do you feel today?

How are you the rest of you? What are you all up to today?

We're bored of the Easter hols already...we're watching Thomas the TE DVD.

I'm feeling ok: a bit more sicky this week so that is good. I think I am soooo lucky (if this little bean is going to stick with me) that my MS is very mild.

Hi guys

Wasn't able to reply y'day as was on the overnight ferry on the way to the UK Back until Friday which is lovely.
I did another test earlier, and now there is literally only a shadow of a line, so am presuming it's definately another cp. Bleeding has continued.
Becky tbh, I feel really pissed off. I can't believe this has happened twice now But, I keep reminding myself that there would've been a reason for this to have happened, ie it wasn't right, and so along with being pissed off I am relieved that it's happened now, and that I didn't get myself all excited only for it to go wrong later.

I know that we can conceive, it's just that each conception seems to be a bad one iykwim. Goodness knows how we managed to produce ds, but thank god we did.
I've been taking those progesterone supplements for the last two months, but I'm just going to stop now. It's been a real pain taking them, and they make me feel sooo sleepy that I just can't be bothered. Surely pregnancy should be easier than this

Sorry about the me post... How are all of you? Becky am so glad you're doing okay and not feeling too sick. Have you got a date for the scan yet?

Poppy how are you feeling? Thanks for the hug by the way, it was muchly needed. It's lovely to be back in the UK but I miss dh loads, esp with what's been going on. Re preventing cp's I don't think there is a way. The gynae suggested the clomid to give me more of a chance to have a viable conception. We weren't going to resort to that yet, but with the way things are going I'm more tempted by the day. I have the prescription sat in my bag......

Better go, mum is wanting to order me a bracelet off the internet to make up for the mothers day pressie that dh didn't get me! Bless her!

Hope you okay too Nandos Was thinking about you today, and your little baby kicking. Am sooo sooo happy for you that it's all working out x

Oh mbm . I think lots of people have had success on clomid so it might be worth a try.

Where abouts in the UK are you? So sweet of your mum to buy you a mother's day bracelet.

I hope you are both ok Poppy and Nandos.

We're sitting here watching Thomas the TE DVD.

I'm feeling more or less ok most of the time (loving nesquick milkshakes and cheese at the moment). I am eight weeks today. I have no idea whether things are ok or not - my boobies are aching like mad still. Last time the MC had happened at 6 weeks but I didn't bleed until nearly 12 weeks and had symptoms right up until then. I haven't heard anything about a scan yet. I'm too scared to book a private one. Is that mad? I don't know.

hey everyone..thx for remembering me

MBM am so sorry to hear these things happening again n again..its unfair to say you can conceive easily cos' everytime u did, its a cp/mc hope things go well with the help of clomid if u using it in the future.
the remaining clomid tablet is also in my bag, i dont know why i am keeping it there...maybe a bit pessimist abt life and kept thinking im still not pregnant enough(sorry if it sounds crazy)
Becky how r u coping with the pregnancy? hope ms doesnt touch you dear..
Poppy hope you are also doing ok..
am kinda sad in the morn but not anymore..dh just left for london this morn and will reach tonight(tmr my time) missed him already..hes here for only 6 days
and my family thought of going to london next mth but i dont feel like it..theres nothing much to do over there
am off to get fresh after coming back from work and going to watch american idol

take care everyonee..

MBM I'm so so sorry this is happening to you again. It really knocks your confidence no matter how pragmatic you feel about things. Maybe the clomid is worth a go as becky says plenty people seem to have good success with it. Have a good time in the UK and hope your bracelet is lovely it's nice to get a treat!

becky 8 weeks! OMG it seems only seconds since you said you were pg! I think you should take all the symptoms as good signs that all is progressing well. Do you automatically get offered a scan at 12 wks where you are?

nandos good to hear from you. It must be so hard for you being apart from your dh so much. I would hate it even though I do moan when he is getting under my feet

I had to take ds to the docs this morning as he was up twice during the night with temp and pain in his ear. This morning it began weeping so he now has antibiotics and dr sent a swab away to be checked. He is a poor wee, hot ill soul. Imagine having that during the hols when you just want be out playing.

I had my second reiki on monday and it was lovely. Felt very relaxed afterwards. She has been telling me how to charge my crystals and use them for healing/sending positive thoughts and light etc.
Am going to do one for dh as work has really dried up at the mo and things are not looking good. She seen the word "contract" related to him and says he is not to worry as things will be ok.

Better go and sort dinner. See you all later. xx

Hello! Happy Easter for tomorrow too

How are you all?

Becky Glad your boobs are still hurting For me that's always been a major telltale symptom. Re the scan, whether you have one early or not is not going to change the outcome, so you may as well wait if you feel happier doing that. Maybe it'll keep you more relaxed in a funny sort of way, because for as long as you haven't had one you won't know that all is well, so the later you do have one, the less time there will then be to get to the magical 12/13 weeks mark. Have just read that back and not sure it makes sense
Was on the Wirral, so not far from you! One time when I come back we should get together, what do you reckon?

Nandos Hearing about that Clomid tablet still being in your bag makes me think that that's exactly something that I would do too . Keep it there until your little one is safely in your arms. Hope you're not missing your dh too much
Have you decided where you're going to have the baby? It must be tough being 'between' two different countries. What's the health care like where you are? (It's Singapore isn't it??)

Poppy Your poor ds Is he feeling a little better yet? I hope it's nothing serious... So sorry to hear that things are tough for your dh. It is a very difficult time at the moment. I really hope that your reiki lady is right about the word 'contract', and am glad that you seem to be enjoying it. Thinking positively is a powerful thing

Things are okay with me. Had a lovely, but rushed, time in the UK. Mum got me this but in brown which is just gorgeous! Bless her! Was v tempted by the red one, but thought brown would go better with things.
Somehow managed to persuade myself that last weeks +ve's were all in my head, but when I got home I checked them again, and yes there are double pink lines on them so I'm not going mad. Am feeling surprisingly upbeat about things though, just not sure why!
Have been cooking today - made a choccy cake and the sauce for the veggie lasagne I'm making for tomorrow's lunch. Means I don't have to get up quite so early in the morning, lazy thing that I am
Thanks all of you for your lovely messages during the week. Again, I would be lost without you all x

HAPPY EASTER for tomorrow
Have just laid a little trail of arrows and eggs from the "Easter Bunny" for ds to follow in the morning. Hope he is feeling a bit better. He has been really peely wally as we say in Scotland and just totally out of sorts. Today was the first day he was out playing with friends but later in the day he had a massive paddy of mammoth proportions. Not a good idea when mum is premenstrual

On that note, I have been taking B complex tablets all month as recommended by reiki lady for my pmt/cycles etc and I cannot believe this is the first month since the mc's last year that my cycle has been exactly 28 days with no spotting for days before and only a couple of days of tender (but not agony) boobs. It's like a miracle for me. Feeling v positive even though period has began that if I can get cycle/hormones sorted then I stand a much better chance of getting pg.

MBM your bracelet is gorge I love lola rose stuff it is so pretty. Glad you had a good time with your mum.
It is my parents anniversary today. Married 39 years. They are away for weekend but back tomorrow so we will go and have Sunday dinner and take them a wee card and pressie.

becky and nandos hope you are both well and blooming

Hello! Happy Easter! DS2 is sitting next to me unwrapping his Smarties Easter Egg with total delight on his face as I type this.

mbm your bracelet looks lovely. I hope you had a good time over here. I think we all should definitely meet up when you're in the Wirral sometime.

Poppy I hope your DS feels better soon. I am sure he'll like your Easter trail! Glad your cycle is sorting itself out a bit: sounds very positive for the future. I really, really, really want you to have some good luck soon

I'm feeling on and off ok and sick at the moment but I still think I am very lucky compared to most people. I haven't actually thrown up at all yet (eight weeks four days today). My boobies still hurt a lot. I don't think I am going to have an early scan mbm, what you say actually is exactly how I feel. My NHS 12-week scan is booked for 4 May so 4 weeks to go. If something bad happens in the meantime then there is little I can do to stop it anyway. A friend of mine had an early scan at 9 weeks and the baby died between then and her 12 week scan. She told me that if she gets pregnant again she won't have an early scan this time.

I hope you are all having a good day today. Nandos I hope you are ok and I completely understand about you keeping your clomid tablet. I'd be the same too. I'm so excited for you. When is your due date? It must be in the summer sometime?

DS2 is playing with my hair so I'd better go and tickle him or something!

Take care everyone xxxxx

Hello!

How are you all? Poppy did ds enjoy the egg hunt? Bless him being 'peely wally', is he feeling any better?
That's great re your cycle... Your body sounds like it's really getting itself into good working order, let's hope so anyway!
Did you have a good time at your parents? 39 years...wow! What did you get them? Is there a special pressie for that? They must be so proud of themselves

Nandos How are you doing? Hope you're not working too hard...

Becky Am ashamed to say I've been lurking on the antenatal threads not a healthy thing to do I know, but is a sort of obsession I think you must be away now with the ds' in Wales, so I hope you're all having a fab time and that you're not feeling too poorly...

I had a bit of a down day yesterday, and sort of convinced myself that it's never going to happen. Feeling more positive today, but not happy with the fact that I'm still bleeding, and was passing clots yesterday too which brought back lots of memories of the first mc last year. I felt really teary all day.
Spoke to dh about it, who refuses to acknowledge that two cp's isn't normal. He said we should give it longer before we go back to see someone. I've done a bit of research on the net and found a good doctor at a hospital near me, who specialises in recurrent miscarriage. Will give it a few more months, or another cp, and then go to see him I think.

Love to you all x

ps is anyone watching 'all the small things' on bbc1 tonight? Is brill, and stars the very tasty Richard Fleeshman, my goodness me he can sing! It starts in half an hour, so I have until then to somehow persude ds to not watch the football while it's on.

pps I take back what I said about it being brill, was very weak tonight, but still got Richard Fleeshman in it though so it can be as rubbish as it wants to be as long as he sings

Hello! Greetings from a caravan in Wales! My dad and stepmother have put wifi in here so I can write to you all from here now.

mbm I so often had moments / days like you describe when I convinced myself that it was never going to happen (and to be honest I convince myself at the moment that it is not going to happen now: I am terrified about the 12 week scan because I've twice been there now where the sonographer's face falls and says either 'I've got some bad news' or 'I can't find anything' and it is sooooo horrible). But I am sure it will happen for you I really am. You have proved that you can conceive and carry a baby to full term: he's your lovely DS. You can do it again. I agree with you that you should give it a few more months and then seek help. We were going to give it until May before seeking help and I got up the duff just in time!

We're having a great time here in Wales. Went to Abersythwth (can't spell) shopping this morning and we treated ourselves to one book each in Waterstones and I had to go to Dorothy Ps to buy some knickers because guess what? I forgot to pack any!!!! How stupid and how gross! DS1 said in a loud voice in the middle of Dorothy Perkins 'you are wearing yesterday's pants aren't you mummy?' DS2 giggled and went 'yuck!'

I don't know anything about All the Small things. I was watching Hospital on Channel 4 last night about teenage pregnancies.

I feel really sick at the moment. I let myself get too hungry before lunch and then stuffed my face: not a good idea. DS2 is having his nap and DS1 is doing a jigsaw. We're off to the beach later with our buckets and spades.

I hope you are ok Poppy and you are blooming Nandos.

Beckyxxx

hi everyone! becky! MBM! Poppy!

God i am stressed with work and 'home'-work. renovation is going on and loads of things to do but today i am at home sleeping,watching tv and eating
MBM..aww re antenatal thread..i've not been there for quite some time now. if you feel the need to see doc asap re recurrent mc, then do so MBM..
i've been lurking under pregnancy section and i must admit im overwhelmed by the number of terminations some ladies did after knowing baby had downs
those pro-choice ppl out there pls dont judge me but i feel real pity for both mum n baby..especially innocent little baby
becky, u must be like 9 weeks now. how time flies.. am 25 weeks tmr and cant wait till the 40th week cos' i am totally new to pregnancy and i feel like as if an alien just invaded my tummy also baby lying sideways doest help much cos' i look like a skinny-bloated person..to be more precise i look like a beer-bellied woman
poppy hope you are doing fine..talking abt tablets, i need to start taking the pregnacare tablet after skipping it for so many weeks..

got to go now will try to come more frequent
take care all

Hello

I'm off work at the moment trying make sense of second MC since december 08. we found out two weeks ago that no heartbeat at nearly 8 weeks (after a bleed and clots at 6weeks) so another erpc.

We're going to try again - after at least one normal cycle - but the wait is so hard. And now I feel if I get pregnant again I'll expect to have another MC. I have two DDs - youngest one 9. Different husband - so you can see where my mind is going but no one will use the word recurrent until I miscarry a third time. bother

Becky You're so lovely, thank you for your calming words. Feel a bit better now . Goodness me I hope that things go well for you at the scan. It would just be too cruel for you to have to go through the same thing another time. Glad you're having a good time, and LOL re knickers You really did make me laugh out loud! Hope you have a fab time with your buckets and spades this arvo. Those kind of afternoons are what memories are made of, well for me anyway .

Nandos lovely to hear from you! Bet you look like a beautiful and blooming beer-bellied woman You must post some pics when you get a chance! Am glad to hear you're having a day off. You must be starting to get a bit tired now with the bump getting bigger. Mind you, is there any point in pregnancy that women don't feel tired Would love to see you here more often, we must get this thread up to the limit and start thinking of wonderful names for the new thread, in which all our babies will be born Here's hoping!

tattifer Hello, and welcome to our thread. I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriages. Life really stinks sometimes
I had two miscarriages last year, and going into it again is terrifying. I had to wait 6 months as my last pregnancy was a partial molar, and so have only been ttc again for the last 2 cycles.
After one mc you can put it down to bad luck and tell yourself it won't happen again. When the second one happens it's unbelievable. I think any vestige of pregnancy 'innocence' has well and truly disappeared now, and I'm a bit like you, wondering how can it possibly go right?
We have to believe it will though. Just reading some of the stories on MN makes me believe that ANYTHING is possible, including having another baby.
Did they do any tests at all after your ERPC? What happened with your first mc if you don't mind me asking? I think sometimes when the circumstances are different then it can point to very bad luck, rather than there being an actual problem. Whatever the case, we are glad that you came to join us, and hope that we can offer you some support during a very difficult time. Unfortunately we have all been there

I've had a lovely day today, just been sat out in the garden playing with ds and reading. My bleeding has finally slowed up, but think that weirdly I might be close to OV'ing too. Am wondering what on earth is happening with my body! Hope dh doesn't come back from work too tired

Love to you all, and have a restful evening x

Thank you for the kind words MBM

Although both MCs happened about the same time they were different. The first began by bleeding that got worse and worse over a couple of weeks and the scan revealed mishapen sac. I'd also had very few signs of pregnancy except big boobs. This time I was sick, bloated, big sore boobs etc etc and thought it was all going fine til a few hours of bleeding after which I had a scan which was inconclusive - everything seemed in order, heart beat wasn't seen but the date was borderline for seeing heartbeat anyway. Two weeks later another scan (no decline in symptoms, no bleeding) and no heartbeat. The sac had continued to grow. ERPC the next day - all so fast i almost didn't believe. I know I've miscarried, but it hasn't sunk in - does that make sense? Oh well, thank god Easter made my chocolate munching look seasonal!!

Oh tattifer it's so sad I know exactly how you feel, my second one didn't sink in for a long time. I felt like I'd gone numb, and then every so often a big wave of grief would hit.
I was like you actually, with the first one last year I had no symptoms, except slightly sore boobs, and then at 8 weeks started bleeding. We'd seen the heartbeat the week before which made it even more of a shock.
With the second one I was hospitalised with HG and 'lost' 2 months of ds' life as I could hardly even stand up, let alone look after him. I really could not believe it when at our second scan at exactly 12 weeks the gynae said 'I think it's bad news'. It is heartbreaking.
I suppose you'll never know the reasons behind your losses, which is very hard. I know that most mc's are chromosomal, and that they are normally lost around or before the 8 week mark.
Let's hope that your two mc's have just been down to terrible bad fortune... You say you're going to wait one cycle? Try to use that opportunity to pamper yourself and do whatever you want to do. It's a horribly hard time in the aftermath of what's just happened, and you must try to come to terms with it in your own way.

How is your dh handling it? Do your dd's know what's happened? I hope they're all providing you with a bit of comfort...
Sending you a big hug x

becky pmsl at your ds and yesterday's knickers comment kids really would get you hung!!!

MBM hope you are feeling a bit better today and the bleeding has stopped. I also think you should only give it another couple of months and then if you can speak to the specialist for rc mc's then it may be helpful. I certainly feel like at least we have some answers now and a bit of hope that they may be able to help if I manage to get pg again - OR with my positive head on WHEN I get pg again! You take care.

nandos I bet you look fab. It is difficult trying to get a good sleep etc when bump begins to take over, but it will all be worth it in the end.

tattifer welcome to our thread. I am so sorry about your mc's it is such a horrible thing to get through and I know I wouldn't have managed it as well without the lovely ladies on this thread. I also had 2 mc'c last year after 3.5 yrs of ttc a 2nd child. That made it very difficult for us as after finally feeling we had beaten the unexplained infertilty label our world came crashing down when we lost both pg's. Again we had also seen hb in 2nd pg so found that one the most diff to deal with. Hope you find some comfort here and also with your dd's and dh. Don't worry about the age gap. My ds is 6.5 and for a long time I was obsessed about age gaps but now I just don't care I just want him to have a sibling. Got to go I am being summoned for bedtime story.

Take care.
ps went to see Monster v Aliens today at cinema. V good indeed. Ds loved it! [smile}
xx

Tattifer sorry for your loss..its really sad. I know these docs are silly to call a recurrent mc only after miscarrying a 3rd time cos' my gp said the same thing when i mc the 2nd time in march last yr.
Its nice that you came to our thread cos' now we have an additional member

Becky, how could i miss that knicker post??
Ewww lol kids can sometimes be embarassing when they say personal things in public

Poppy bump is smallish-medium and i look weird Btw hope your arthritis thingy(if i remember correctly) doesnt stop/delay too much for u in ttc.

MBM hope bleeding stops soon so ovulation can start soon..

I got to go now and buy lunch so take care everyone

Hi nandos I'm sure you don't look wierd. Bet you will miss having a bump when the baby's born

Have to be quick as got friends coming to stay this arvo and have to go and sort out house, but just uploaded some new pics onto my profile page, so thought would let you know. They're not very exciting really...

Hope you're all okay today!