***Lets support eachother again- you know who you are ***

[mummy2olivia]

charliesmum, nandos, beakas, sugr, cornflower, poppy, becky and everyone else who miscarried in may/june 2008....

We have all been very brave together and supported eachother. For those of us that are ready, it may be time to support eachother again as we return to TTC. Lets hold hands, remember our loss and give a nod to the future as we endeavour to procreate and............

SHAG!!

As promised, a thread to stay in touch. Will also see you on the MC avengers thread.

I have taken a good attitude to feeling better recently- have been doing lots of things I shouldnt such as wine, forgetting to take vits but not beating myself up about it, had a couple of naughty fags on holiday, buggery (am joking bout the last one!! ) but have been playing netball and doing aerobics. I normally do a bit of positive visualisation and started doing this just before I got pregnant actually but I really cannot be arsed just lately. I'm doing stuff that makes me feel good for minimum effort TBH cos feel a bit too low and delicate to really throw myself into much. Cannot face going back to acupuncture cos I loved the lady who did it so much and she was so good with giving advice and listening but I cant face talking about how I feel too much- this is the only place I really talk and that isnt much. Whenever I talk to DH, my voice wobbles and I say 'lets talk later'. There is just so much going on lately really with my health and the due date and my mum, I cant put anything else in my head- does that sound mad??!! I just feel like my head needs a rest more than my body right now. Am sort of dreading TTC again TBH cos that is a proper mind fuck and should really have used my time on the pill to do something to prepare but hey ho. I almost cant put into words how I feel right now- confused, sad, hurt, perhaps even a bit self-destructive. Does that sound bad?

Liverpool would be an ace place to meet- it is such an ace place to spend time. I love liverpool. Can we have a roll call though please- who would like to come??

I love moussaka- but how long does it take really???!!! Its obscene that such a gorgeous dinner should take so bloomin long!!!

also, there really is something I want to run past you lot cos i know you will be honest with me.....

After I MC in May SIL had a baby in August. I'm really happy and he is a lovely little boy (lets call him J) but as you can imagine the whole thing is tinged with a little bit of sadness cos I should have been having a baby too. Now obviously with xmas round the corner everyone is excited about 'J's first Christmas' and planning to get together 'to spend J's first christmas together'. Now I am sure you know, my MIL is not the most understanding of people and no-one really remembers that I was supposed to be having a baby at christmas and she has invited everyone to hers for dinner and DH is looking forward to it......and TBH I just cannot face it. I really just cannot face it . even my lovely gorgeous understanding DH asked me why I didnt want to go!! WTF??!!! Is he fucking mad?????? I dont feel bad towards SIL and J, just sad and dreading the whole thing. My lap is booked for Dec 17th as well which is making me feel sad- I should have been having my baby on the 24th, not having a fucking laproscopy!!

I'm so pissed off with everything right now and I cant see a light at the end of the tunnel. Help me!!! How am I gonna get through Christmas???? It really worrying me.

just came back from a chinese restaurant..its been a long time since we had chinese food
gonna be my birthday in 2 days time but am not planning to do/go anywhere/anything...i feel so old already
M2O, poor you..i really hope u can face your nephew during the holidays..
i dont know if i told u abt my cousins(both sisters) got pregnant the same time and now they are 3 n 4 mths preg respectively. couldnt face being around them but met both of them in the hospital while visiting my cousin(the one who passed away recently) and i was so glad n happy to meet them at soon as i saw them there
i hope it will feel the same for you and take it easy and one day at a time..
wish i could help more..hugss

Just a quicky as am meant to be tidying the kitchen - I am defo up for meeting up! Count me in! Liverpool would be fab for me if that's okay with everyone else, but I don't mind at all if it's not there... Where are you M2O?

I'm sorry that you're feeling so down, but I'm not surprised with everything that's been going on lately. You mustn't beat yourself up about the way you're feeling - allow yourself to take things slowly. You described not feeling able to talk about stuff - then don't. Time is a great healer, and when you're ready to talk about what's happened then somehow you'll feel strong enough to. Just make sure you come on here more often so we can offer you the support and hugs {{{}}} that you need .

I know it's a bit of a cliche, but have you thought about counselling? Someone said that to me in September, and it put my back up straight away, but then since then I have felt like I wanted to get things off my chest, and my counselling sessions have helped so much I cannot even begin to tell you. It's definately worth thinking about when you feel ready...

I'm not sure what advice to give you about Christmas, it's going to be really tough. I can completely understand how you feel, it's a very difficult situation, and one that's going to cause you pain. Somehow, you WILL find the strength to get through it. Whether you go to your MIL's or not for Christmas, it's not going to change the fact that it's an awful time for you. I just want to give you a huge hug... Do you think that if you went to your MIL's it might be so busy with so much going on that it may help take your mind off things? Maybe not.... I know it sounds corny, but when I've really struggled in RL I've thought about you lot on here, and the support that you've given me, and it's made me feel so much stronger. Just know that whatever you end up doing we will be thinking of you and sending you lots of love x

Crossed posts - hi Nandos. I hope you manage to enjoy your birthday, despite all that's happened recently. Sending you a big {{{birthday hug}}}

I'm in Warwickshire so bang in the middle...

I think what you say about time being a healer is so true...I just wish I had a bit longer!!!

M20 it truly is a small world in the land of spell buying and ttc desperation. My DH was so sceptical last dec when I purchased the spell off ebay but we had had 3.5years of no luck whilst watching friends all around getting pg with no probs and it does make you feel envious no matter how well you hide it . But after 2 months I was pg. So when I suggested using her again this year he agreed no prob. I think also for us part of the prob in the past was that DH was more contented with one dc while I was desperate for another. He is prob a much nicer person than me who thinks we should have been counting our blessings instead of putting ourselves through hell. BUT one year and 2 mc's later we are now on the same page and he is also v keen.
With regards to your SIL and baby and xmas it is going to be a really difficult time for you but hopefully you will get through it ok. Would it be possible not to stay at MIL for too long as tbh you may still be feeling sore after the lap (I know I was sore after mine). We visited friends recently and they have 3 dd's one is just little and I thought I would be ill but I actually had a lovely time and loved playing with baby. Maybe helped because she is such a good friend and totally understands how I am feeling. (My this is a novel)

becky get the spells on ebay. Just type in fertility spells then look for mia's ones. Everything is included in price (only about £8) and she casts the spell then sends you instructions to do your part. V easy and worth trying.

I must admit I have been much more slack on the avoid wine/tea/coffee etc this month. Just thought feck it

I am in west lothian which is central scotland but would deffo like to make an effort and try to meet up.

just a quick post from me
going for my birthday dinner tonight yayy!
hope you ladies have a good time as well..and abt meeting up, would love to meet up, am in london so am not sure how i am gonna go all the way there without dh driving me there ---> no driving licence

take care all

xx

HAPPY BIRTHDAY nandos hope you have a lovely time tonight. Enjoy

Happy Birthday for yesterday Nandos! Did you have a lovely day and a good meal? Hope so...

How are you all? I'm feeling a bit rough today, think am coming down with something. DS has bronchitis so is not well either! We were meant to be going to see a school for him this morning (he's starting next September at 2 1/2, is soooo early but is the norm over here ). Didn't make it as he had such a high temp bless him.

Hope you all have a good day!

thx everyone dh ought a unce of roses in the afternoon and i had a surprise birthday dinner party yesterday cos' didnt think my 2 friends would turn up. my dh set it all up to make me think its just a dinner for 2. it was a memorable day lol cos' theres a bellydancer too dancing away at the arabic restaurant
am soo happy n tbh i totally forgot abt ttc at that time as b4 its been 24/7 thinking abt ttc so it was a good thing we went out ..

MBM, hope you and your ds will be better soon.. btw so fast hes going to school! nowadays its no wonder kids are stressed out cos' of the compulsory schooling at an early age
well i am on CD20 now and dont feel any different apart from the bloating i had for few days..might be due to the clomid effect ut now its better...
got to go now and clean up the house, its so messy and friends are coming over in the weekend so need to sort things out b4 they come..
take care

lol..my 'b' on the keyboard is not working properly atm ^ meant to be..dh bought a bunch of roses lol..

Happy belated birthday Nandos!

I've been a bit quiet on here lately as work has been really hectic and also organising DS1's space-themed birthday party. I'm making a play list at the moment: there are a lot of spacey songs out there. We've even got the theme tune to Tomorrow's World...sad or what?

I'm up for a meeting in Liverpool. I've only been once and that was with my first boyfriend, who is now gay, to get a passport so we could go interrailing (after we'd broken up and he was going out with my best friend - oh the tortured lives of 17 year olds - Dawson's Creek eat your heart out!).

Moussaka takes ages so that is why I married DH. He loves to cook. There's no way I'd be faffed!

I'll investigate the spells.

Christmas is just pants, pants, pants. I have no advice for you m2o - except get steaming drunk. It's my birthday on Christmas Day too. I'm going to be 37. The clock is ticking... I don't want to do Christmas either this year but at least there are no babies in our family. I really want some wine to drink now. My AF is due on Friday and I do not feel at all pregnant (esp as I want a glass of wine!). I've got to the stage now where I just can't be bothered to be good all the time. Coffee is just too nice, as is wine and eating crap food. It must be the influence of Christmas and winter. I'm fed up of having marathon sex sessions every month and nothing coming except a period.

Nandos here's a B for you!

MBM your poor DS. I hope he gets better soon

Ahhhhhhh AF HAS JUST ARRIVED. So there's my hope of being preggers on my due date for December out the window. Ahhhhhhhhh grrrrrrr ahhhhhh!!!!!!

Becky... At least you can drink your way through it, and also raise a glass at the end of the year to 2009 being a better and more productive one . So sorry AF's arrived - it's so shit x

sorry Becky

when are we gonna ever get pregnant!! its really shit isnt it i think im more sad when your AF came than you are becky, dont know why ut its so frustrating that none of us are pregnant by now..
like MBM said, hopefully 2009 will be a better n productive yr..

sorry becky what a bummer for you. I agree with the others about raising a glass to 2009 being a better year for us all.

It just seems so unfair that ttc is like falling off a log for some and an endurance test for others

Well we had a really shit day yesterday when I got cornered in the garden by my crazy paranoid neighbour rattling on about dh's amateur radio ariels. They have been up for over 2 yrs and caused no probs for anyone (we have checked) but this witch has had it in for us from the get go (long story). We tried to allieviate her concerns but it was like talking to a stonewall. Later on that day my dm arrived for a visit and she had heard all about the incident and as she was parking her car she seen the husband and began to tell him off (politely) for upsetting me. My dh went out and the upshot of the matter now is that everything is out in the open. We have put up with a load of crap from them for ages and turned the other cheek to keep the peace and yest dh just let them know some home truths. DH and I are both Libras so this kind of confrontation is something we would both normally avoid like the plague

I hope 2009 will bring babies for us all. We have to hope that don't we? I'm so sad for all of us. We need a happy ending.

Poppy sorry to hear about your horrible neighbours. Grrrr.

hi everyone,
i got good news..well not the pregnancy news but my nhs appointment date has been changed to this coming wednesday! yahoo!! i didnt expect to be seen this early..
yesterday i happen to find the number dh wrote weeks ago and we totally forgot abt it. so at 3pm i was thinking, 'should i call or not' and i did after 15 mins! and the date was changed from march to this month! im so happy dont think im crazy but this is one of the happiest day of my life lol ]

Nandos That's great!!!! that the NHS has actually managed to get you an earlier appointment, you must be very pleased!!! Who are you going to see? Hope whatever they say to you is good too...

Poppy Grrrrr to your neighbours from me too - they sound awful. Good on your DH for speaking to them, if he doesn't like confrontation then it must've been difficult... I know just how he feels.

Hope you're all okay today - Becky hope you're not suffering too much with AF? Am now on second AF since the D&C in Sept, and this one's a weird one. It started last week, but v slowly, and then on Monday went really heavy and made me feel v sick with loads of tummy ache, and it's still going. Is more like when I had a CP a couple of years ago... Is defo not that though - DH is not allowed near me unless he's got protection .

Have a good weekend all - anybody up to anything exciting?

Good news for you Nandos! Yeah. We need some good news.

MBM poor you with your strange AF.

DS1 is five on Sunday so we're having a few of his little friends over tomorrow. That's pretty exciting. I'm bleeding like mad at the moment - my AFs tend to be very heavy but only two days long. I went to a PTA meeting today and the woman next to me said 'guess what, I'm pregnant' and I thought 'cow bag!' But ho hum. I feel more cheerful today. I cried a lot last night and drank two big glasses of wine and felt very sorry for myself. DH was really nice to me though. I think I've just got to stay optimistic. Keep trying.

Aaaah Becky, do keep trying... We have to believe that it WILL happen for all of us. Poor you re the woman next to you, and well done for not just bursting into tears. I'm dreading someone telling me the same thing, don't think I could handle it .

One of my friends got married in August and I'm just waiting for their 'news'. Of course I hope that they get pg with no problem and that they have a good pregnancy with a beautiful baby at the end of it. I'm dreading hearing it though... It's so difficult isn't it, when it's all you want yourself. Hopefully we'll get there in the end...

Of to bed now as feeling rough! Am taking a hot water bottle and a nice cup of tea with me, and am going to snuggle up with a book. Hhhhmmm .

ps Becky Hope tomorrow goes well with DS's friends! Happy Birthday to him for Sunday x

Oh becky lol at your thoughts to the pg lady - that is exactly what would have been flashing through my mind while I smiled and said "congratulations" . Feel like over the last few years I have become a master at being lovely to pg friends, acting all positive when questioned about my own conception efforts, then rushing home for a big boo hoo/why me moment . Then I am racked with guilt for being a beatch!

nandos glad you got your appt moved closer, hope it has a positive outcome for you

MBS hope you feel a little better tomorrow after a good rest. You have been through such a hard time recently isn't it just typical that even AF has got to be bad (well worse than the norm)

I am beginning to feel my boobs getting tender which for me is a sure fire sign of AF approaching. DH was gutted when I told him as he felt "we had tried so hard this month" OOH remember when it wasn't a chore . Hopefully next month will be better for us all.

Hello all, I'm feeling rough today....I drank too much white wine at a Body Shop party last night and probably spent too much money I don't have on makeup I don't need. I don't wear much makeup so I was the subject and got the make over. It was fun but am so not in the mood today for a party of five year olds! I hope I'll feel better in a couple of hours...

Hope you feel better today MBM.

My DH had the same response as yours Poppy when I told him my AF was here. We made a really big effort this month. It just goes to show quantity doesn't mean a sure fire hit. I don't know what else to do: drink grapefruit juice?