***Lets support eachother again- you know who you are ***

[mummy2olivia]

charliesmum, nandos, beakas, sugr, cornflower, poppy, becky and everyone else who miscarried in may/june 2008....

We have all been very brave together and supported eachother. For those of us that are ready, it may be time to support eachother again as we return to TTC. Lets hold hands, remember our loss and give a nod to the future as we endeavour to procreate and............

SHAG!!

As promised, a thread to stay in touch. Will also see you on the MC avengers thread.

Still no AF but suffering from a tummy bug instead. DS1 has it too. We were up all night both of us. Feel grim today . Need a big hug!

Aah Becky. hope you're okay and that you feel better soon. Can't be easy being poorly yourself and having a lo to look after too. Here you go

How are you feeling re AF today? Do you think you might be pg, or just that it's messing you around? I still have my fingers crossed!

Same with me Poppy - I always seem to have a supply in the house, and the cheapo ones are great - seem just as sensitive as the expensive ones! Don't worry re going mad, it happens . Do you have any symptoms???

It's funny but although I literally cannot look at pg people in RL as it just tears me apart, I am SO willing you lot to get up the duff. It would almost be like a bit of avengeance for me too, if that makes sense. Maybe I'm going mad as well...

Am feeling a bit more positive today, thanks Poppy. I've been in touch with a miscarriage counsellor over here, and she told me her story, which was that she had two mc's and then had kids. She just made me think in a more positive way about the future, when all I've been thinking about is how on earth will we get through another mc if we're lucky enough to get pg again? Knowing we're not going to try for a while has also taken the pressure off a bit, and I'm just trying to enjoy life whilst it's less complicated. Am still absolutely heartbroken about what's happened, but am trying not to think too much about it.

Hope you have a good day x

for becky hope you feel better soon and manage to cope ok with your ds's while recovering.

Tummy bugs are vile and since my ds began nursery then school I have had some stormers even ended up in hospital twice then last one was in May when I was pg and I mc'c 2 days later. Still don't know if that was the reason or if it was something else.

MBS I don't actually have any symptoms excepy pmt ones maybe next month

Glad the mc counsellor helped you feel a little more positive which is not easy when you are going through a hard time. Take care of yourself.

Hello! I'm feeling a bit better, haven't had 'two-second warning' diarrhea as I call it for about 6 hours and the taste of last night's tea has gone now so perhaps it has all gone through my system. DS1 is ok too albeit being a total man with man flu 'mummy I can't reach my train', 'mummy get me a drink', etc.

I've had PMT symptoms for a week now and no AF. It was due on Sunday night and I am very rarely late. I just don't feel pregnant. The only other thing I can think of is early menopause. Crumbs I hope not. PMT symptoms are just the same as pregnancy symptoms at this stage so Poppy you never know...

MBM thanks for the big squeeze and Poppy for the hug. I needed it.

God it starts early with men doesn't it

Glad you're feeling a bit better Becky... Bet you won't be able to eat what you had last night for tea for ages. I had a tummy bug a few years ago, and had had pasta with a red pepper sauce the evening before - even now it turns my tummy thinking about it! Re AF are you going to test? Doesn't mean anything that you don't feel pregnant, but it's certainly very interesting that it's so late. Plus you have PMT symptoms with cramps. I really, really hope from the bottom of my heart that is what we think it might be

Poppy when are you due on?

Hope you've had a good day both of you? I think I still have pregnancy brain - was making a cake for DH's b'day which is today, and wanted to move a t-towel that I had put under the mixing bowl while I was using the handheld mixer. Rather than lift up the bowl I lifted up the mixer, which was still going full blast Spent ages cleaning up choccy cake mixture, didn't realise it could go that far! The dogs did help with the floor though so at least I didn't have to clean that Plus, yesterday I drove down a one way street (that I know) the wrong way without even thinking about it . What is wrong with me???

I think I'll give it until Friday to do the test. I just feel so 'normal' except a bit sicky but after last night that's to be expected.

I had fish and chips last night and I love fish and chips! I had gastric flu after eating fish and chips when I as 16 and it was about 5 years before I could eat them again. And I've done it again! Why didn't I have something like sprouts for tea last night? I can live without those.

Lol your cake incident! I do that sort of thing all the time. Your mind is on more important things at the moment so you're allowed to be a bit ditsy. Happy Birthday to your DH by the way .

Morning!

DH says 'thanks' Becky! Glad I'm not the only one being ditsy!

Oh no re fish and chips... What a thing to have to miss out on. What about (and my mouth is watering at this) sausage and chips, but with mushy peas and gravy on the chips and then you put ketchup on it. How about that for a substitute? . Yum!

On a more serious note, I am about to go and put my maternity clothes into storage in the attic. Am dreading it. I got them all out in April, but left them in the bag, and then this time round I even washed some of them and they were in my room ready to wear. Since the beg of sept they've been sat on the landing torturing me, so I thought I should probably get rid of them. Feel like chucking them all away to be honest

Right, I'd better get on with it. I am officially the world's worst procrastinator...

Hope you all have a good day... Hello Nandos if you're checking in at all!

Mouth watering at the sausage and chips etc... yum yum. Have to admit to liking a haggis supper the best

mbs I must admit to giving clothes away now For a long time I kept all the baby clothes that were still good in the cupboard in the spare room but now I just want to cry when I see them. It's the same with the maternity wear. About 4 yrs ago when we decided to try for dc no.2 I bought a breastfeeding top and it is now lurking in a cupboard withe labels on unworn and making me feel crap whenever I come across it.

Becky still crossing fingers for you .

Think I'm out again this month as spotting a little and feeling very low and in need of chocolate.......

Poppy, are you by any chance Scottish? Sorry about probable AF . It's just shit isn't it. I hope you have lots of chocolate handy?

Get rid of the breastfeeding top - if you don't keep seeing it it won't be able to make you feel crap . If (and when ) you do have another baby you can just get another one...

We washed all ds' newborn clothes a couple of months ago - they'd been in the garage and the mice had got into the box. Had to chuck some out . Anyway, I'm now packing those up too... It's just so sad. It WILL be our turn again someday ladies.

One of my friends was talking about trying for a second baby the other day - I am so envious of her just going naively into it thinking all will be fine. Of course, I hope she gets pg easily and that everything goes well, but I feel so sad and angry that our innocence and naivety has gone. Never again will I think 'all will be fine'. Can't believe we got through pregnancy with ds being as naive as we were... I never dreamt anything would go wrong.

Becky, any news????

Still no AF. I don't have any tests in the house so can't do a test and too busy to go get one! Tomorrow I'll do one if no AF here. But STILL do feel totally normal. I could go jogging without a bra, I could drink wine or coffee, and don't want to go to bed yet... Hmmm.

I know what you mean about naivity. One of the mums here who I met shortly after we moved told me she was pregnant with number 3 and just about to have her scan. I might have mentioned this before as I felt like saying to her 'don't assume it'll be ok' but I didn't. Well I noticed her husband dropping off her son at school every day last week and I was worried that something had happened. On Monday she told me she'd been at home because she'd had her 12 week scan earlier in the week and they hadn't been able to find a heartbeat. It broke my heart to see her trying to put a brave face on it. So I told her about my MC and I hope it helped her a bit to realise that this is sadly such a common thing to go through. It's horrible. There are so many people this happens to.

mbs yes I'm Scottish however did you guess we are probably the only people who know how haggis is made and still eat it!!!

Think you are right I will get rid of breastfeeding top. Then it can't mock me any more from the back of the cupboard.

becky sad to hear about the mum you met also going through this nightmare. It's so common but no-one talks about it.

We are very worried about one of our neighbours. Lovely family. One daughter of 2 who my son loves to play with and they had another dd in July. At first all seemed well then they discovered a heart prob. They have been staying at hosp in Glasgow now for 4 wks. Op didn't go as well as hoped and baby not responding well to drugs. We are all worried sick here but only getting drips of news. Praying she will make a good recovery and come home safely.
Just so many terrible things happen to people.

AF has just arrived... Ah bugger it. That's all I can think of to say on the matter. I knew I wasn't up the duff but there's always that little ray of hope.

Poppy I do hope your neighbour's baby gets better soon. I can't imagine how hard it must be to go through what they are going through. Makes me feel quite humble and very glad for what I do have.

Aw becky what a shame maybe next month when you don't have a house move to contend with it will be easier.

I know my AF is imminent but I know what you mean about the little ray of hope or in my case madness .

Feeling a bit crappy about it all as I will be 36 next month and just feel I have crossed over the boundary into late thirties where ttc might be even harder for me than it already has been. I was so naive and trouble free with first pg but it has been nowt but problematic ever since!!!!

Poppy you are 8 months younger than me, ish - I'll be 37 on Christmas Day. I was thinking the same thing about me. As my AF was 4 1/2 days late (I am never, ever late) I've convinced myself I am entered menopause now and that is it, over the hill...

Oh Becky . Bugger, bugger and bugger again. I'm sure you aren't entering menopause, it's probably just everything that's been going in recently. Also, you may have ov'd later too. Don't start panicking, just see what happens this month...

Poppy That's awful about your neighbour's baby. I really, really hope everything's okay. They must be beside themselves with worry. Will you let us know if you hear any news?

Have to dash as I have to go and collect one of my friends and her baby from the airport in a couple of hours, and I need to make up her bed etc. She's so lovely, as soon as I told her about this last mc she said she'd come over. I feel really bad though as it's costing her loads of money to get here. I'm so glad she's coming though

If I'm not in touch over the w/end it'll probs be because we have put dh in charge of the lo's and found ourselves a bottle of wine, glug, glug! Hope you're both okay today xxx

I'm taking the DSs to the seaside in about three hours time (after school) for the weekend. I'm determined not to wallow in any more self-pity it just makes me miserable to be around. The sun is shining so I can't be miserable.

oh i hope u are not entering into menopause becky..you are way too young for that..
funny how mc messes with our cycle days..mine seems to be earlier than i expected.
MBM, how r u feeling after the holiday? hows france?
hey poppy, has your flu gone away yet?
hope everyone is feeling fine
btw hubby called yesterday and he said hes coming by next month and i forgot to ask for how long hes staying..hope he goes back with me which is like a month later cos' i feel so lonely travelling for 16 hours in plane alone
oh and i just got clomid privtely and will be taking them when my AF arrives.. tummy aches so bad i can just feel it churning inside and might come anytime now.
well i got to go to sleep now..its 1am now..
goodnight

Hi mbs have a lovely weekend with your friend. It really lets you know who your true friends are when they come to be with you when things are hard - some folks just don't know what to say so they stay away when all they really need to do is be there. Enjoy your wine .
Will let you all know as soon as we hear about the baby. Hope she makes a good recovery.

becky enjoy the seaside - hope the weather stays dry for you!

nandos my cold is all better now just feeling very grumpy with pmt .
That will be lovely for you to see DH and even better if he stays .
Good luck with the clomid. What we put ourselves through eh? Have a good sleep.

I'm just feeling really grumpy today a bit like Eyore with the big black cloud following me DS is in a very awkward mood today and if I say black he says white etc but this is not a good time of the month for that behaviour........ he will learn

Hello girls,

How are you all today? Hope you've had a good weekend?

Becky How are you doing? I really hope you've managed to have a lovely time at the seaside with the boys, and that you were able to feel a bit brighter? I hope the sun shone for you...

Poppy Are you still feeling 'PMT'y? I love your Eeyore description . Hope DS is being an angel now...

Nandos Hello! Nice to hear from you - am so glad that DH is going out to see you, and it'll be lovely if he can stay for a month. How are you getting on there? That's good news re Clomid - didn't I read that you've been on it before? I hope it helps.
Had an okay time in France, but it was tough not having normal distractions like tv etc. Found I had too much thinking time.

Am going back to work tomorrow, and am not sure how I feel. I still feel numb about what's happened, but then every so often I really feel how much it hurts and I just want to curl up in a corner and sob my heart out. Am sure it's a positive thing going back to work, but don't feel ready really. I don't want to leave ds either. Am feeling quite down tonight

hi MBM..
it does hurt a lot isnt it..emotionally..u r so strong to go back to work. if theres anything u feel like sharing, do share it with us cos' it helps sometimes
i've been crying my hearts out yesterday night cos' found out my cousin's cancer is spreading n theres nothing docs can do to save him.. just a matter of time now. he at home n can't walk anymore cos' hes too thin and weak
i can't breathe properly when i talk of him..it just feels so sad makes me more appreciative to have my family members around me every minute of the day.
whoever happens to read this -pls pray for him..thx..

goodnite

Hi nandos so sorry to hear about your cousin . Will keep him and your family in my prayers. It's not easy watching someone suffer and being unable to take their pain away. My thoughts are with you.

mbs agree with nandos about you being so strong going back to work. I hope it goes ok for you and your colleagues are supportive. I found that was one of the hardest things facing people afterwards and having to listen to their well meaning comments and advice .

I am slightly less moody today just waiting for AF to show up now. Was thinking of maybe attemoting to temp next month but not entirely sure I can be faffed with it but may be worth a go.

Hi everyone

Nandos so sorry to hear about your cousin. It is very hard seeing someone close to you suffer. My thoughts are with you and your family too.

I also found returning to 'normal' incredibly hard after an MC but so many people were just lovely to me when it happened to me and so kind it really helped. There were one of two friends who really shone through for me just by giving me a hug or being brave enough to say comforting things without worrying about how I would react. I hate it when people either ignore the issue or don't say anything at all meaningful for fear of saying something too 'sensitive' worried about how you might react. Honesty is definitely the best way to be.

Poppy I was there last week waiting for the dreaded AF. It's frustrating isn't it? You know it's coming and it feels imminent for about a week! I've stopped bleeding now so just waiting until we can have yet another go. Here we go again...

By the way the seaside was sooooo wonderful and I even swam in the sea yesterday much to my DSs amusement / horror. DS1 told me later he was a bit worried that a shark was going to come and get me.

Oh Nandos, I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. It must be so difficult. I am thinking of you both.

Poppy how are you doing? Has AF shown her evil face yet? How do you go about temping? The only thing I've ever done is use an electronic ear thermometer thingy, but that was to see if my temp was up due to being pg, rather than to see when I was ov'ing.

Becky So glad you had a fab time at the seaside . Sounds like it was lovely! You're v brave for going in the sea, was it chilly?

My first day back at work went okay, very much like my first day back last time. Walked into the playground and just burst into tears when one of my colleagues came over to give me a kiss. They're all so lovely, and that's what made it difficult as they're so caring and kind. It doesn't take a lot to make me cry at the moment, and sympathy is a surefire way...

I heard from that mc counsellor again today - she has two kids, and has had two mc's. It made me cry when I read that although she's now okay talking about the mc's, her heart says a quiet 'four' when people ask her how many children she has. It's exactly how I feel, I want to say three but instead I say one

By the way, I didn't mean that I'm not grateful for the one I do have. I don't know what I'd do without him. My sad face was for the two lost babies, not ds! Hope it doesn't read the wrong way...

Hi becky lol at the shark comment!! you really are very brave going into the sea! DH and DS were paddling in sea at Scarborough in July this year with trousers rolled up and warm anoraks on I stayed on the beach watching the bags

mbs well done for getting through your first day back at work. It must have been so difficult for you.

Hope you are all well. My AF came with a bang yesterday so back to the drawing board for me