***Lets support eachother again- you know who you are ***

[mummy2olivia]

charliesmum, nandos, beakas, sugr, cornflower, poppy, becky and everyone else who miscarried in may/june 2008....

We have all been very brave together and supported eachother. For those of us that are ready, it may be time to support eachother again as we return to TTC. Lets hold hands, remember our loss and give a nod to the future as we endeavour to procreate and............

SHAG!!

As promised, a thread to stay in touch. Will also see you on the MC avengers thread.

Hi everyone ..
MBM, have a nice trip and enjoy yourself..
oh and btw i am back in london end of october..so everyone reading this and ttc, good luck with everything and wish everyone get their babies soon
dunno why i feel like this but i feel calm somehow
gd nite..

Hi nandos glad you are feeling calm! I have been having a bad week as my arthritis has been flaring up which is not conducive to ttc. BUT have been pos's this week and think I may be ov'ing so will have to get busy

mbs hope you have a relaxing hol you really deserve it after what you have been through. Have been thinking about you.

becky hope you have recovered from the stress of moving and are settling into your new home.

oh poppy..r u alright?
it sucks when medicines clash with ttc isnt it....do get busy you never know what may happen after that
becky, hows your new home? hope you are settled well.
MBM..hope you are having a good time in France..
as for me, i just found out as to why i am feeling so calm its because im not ttc! god..am i so dumb or what lol..
theres no stress as all for now and my mind completely shuts down on ttc cos' dh is away (i mean i am away) its nice not to focus so much on ttc cos' of the extreme pressure of trying to have a baby..
anywayz i might start thinking abt ttc only in nov..thats when my cycle starts anyway..so 2 more months of stress-free! yayy!
take care everyone

You know nandos that is so true about feeling calm when ttc is on the back burner. I was raging mad at first when I got the letter from the hosp telling me to use contraception until I had had my bloods tested 8 weeks after the mc as all I could think about was filling the hole that was left BUT obviously wanting to do what they asked I stopped ttc at that time and went on to relax and enjoy our week in scarborough. I had wine, coffee and relaxed at night because I wasn't worrying if this was a good time or not!!
I'm so glad you are feeling relaxed and calm, hopefully having a wee rest from the madness of ttc will do wonders.

DH will be gald to be getting a break tonight as I am feeling a bit under par with a lovely cold and just need a good sleep.

take care all

ps ttc is like an extreme sport!

My AF is due this weekend but I don't feel in the remotist bit preggers. DH has just phoned to say his dad is poorly and had to go to hospital overnight so he is going down to Wales to be with him.

Sorry to hear about your DH's dad becky hope he gets better soon. How is the new house? It takes such a long time to get settled and remember where everything is not to mention the dreaded unpacking!!!!

My AF not due for over a week but last night I had a tiny smear of pinkish mucus. Not sure what the hell that is or if my cycle is all whacked up. Had been trying hard at the ttc business but then on tues was struck by the dreaded cold/sniff/coughing and DH was keeping his distance. Today he began feeling ill so no doubt there will be a case of full on man flu quite soon

becky, hope your dh's dad will be well soon
and to poppy too ..
is the flu going around in UK this time? i had it like 2 months back and it sucks..flu n fever doesnt go well at all

Hi nandos how are you? Flu/cold virus seems to sweeping round our town at the moment everyone going round with that familiar sniff.

Was right about man flu! It began last night and today required an extra long lie in bed . It's always worse for the boys......

Oh it is well known scientific fact that men don't get colds, they get flu. My DH always says to me 'you don't seem to get them as bad as me'. Oh so naive!!! I had a bit of a sniffle last week but we're ok so far but schools have just started so no doubt there'll be lurgies everywhere soon...

DH's dad is still in hospital and DH came back last night partly so I could go to a school reunion (after 20 years) and is going back down today. He's basically ok. He's had high blood pressure problems since the summer so is now having some tests. He's due to move house to 15 mins away from here with the MIL on Tuesday so they're not sure how they are going to get him up here from Cardiff. But we'll feel much better when they are just down the road than we do now, Cardiff is 3 hours from here.

AF not here yet...I've got that 'any minute now' feeling when you just keep checking for blood every time you go to the loo.

Hi becky hope your FIL gets better soon it's always a worry and very stressful spending a lot of time in hospital.

How was your reunion? I live in the town next to where I was brought up so tend to see people from school quite often. Have had the awkward meetings in supermarkets where they obviously know who I am and stop to say hello and I have not recognised them at all very embarrassing!

Hi guys, got back from france late last night, and then been out most of today - how are you all doing?

Poppy, I hope your arthritis isn't too bad, poor you. My mum has it really badly, and so I know how painful it can be. It must be very difficult ttc and coping with that at the same time. I so hope that this month you have some successful shagging!

Becky, hope your FIL is okay. It's always a worry when they're so far away, but at least your dh won't have to spend as much time away when they move closer to you. Hope he gets better soon, and that the tests are useful... Are you enjoying living where you are now, or is it too early to say? Have you managed to get much unpacking done? We moved in here in February, and still have cardboard boxes all over the place!

Nandos, am so glad you're feeling calmer. I think it really helps to give your body/mind a bit of a break from the obsession that is ttc... Hope you're not missing your dh too much? Do you speak to him a lot?

I'm in the 'angry' stage of grieving I think. I'm so bloody furious about what's happened . I still can't believe it, and when I feel gurgles or anything in my tummy my brain is still instantly thinking it's the baby. I stupidly did a pg test today just to see if the hormones have worked their way out of my system, but no they haven't. It's just so sad to have a bold bfp but for the wrong reason .

There's no way that we're going to be ttc again for at least 6 months - would it be okay if I still hang around with you lot?? Don't know what I'd do without you all...

Hi mbs totally get the anger feelings. MC is such a devastating thing to go through and it's completely understandable to feel like that. So sorry you are having to go through this its just so unfair.

Sometimes it's good to have time to grieve properly before the madness of ttc takes over again. This is the only place I feel I can discuss how sad I feel without people thinking I should be over it because a few months have passed. Its a silent grief.

On a happier note my mum has booked a night at Stobo Castle (spa break) for us next month for my birthday. We are having a delux room (it was the only one left) and will get to prowl around wearing dressing gowns and slippers hopefully this will make up for being another year older

Oooh Poppy , sounds fab. You definately deserve to have a bit of pampering!

Had to get up early this morning as the carpet man (that we'd forgotten was coming) arrived to lay some carpet - place was a mess with tools and the like strewn around. I stayed in bed and let dh race around like a mad man

Hope you all have a good day today...

Becky has AF arrived?

By the way Poppy, I completely agree re silent grief . When I'm speaking to people, already they are back to normal and I'm not. Just because I say 'I'm fine' they obviously think I am. How I wish all the pain disappeared that quickly...

I have to go back to work next week, and I don't want to because I feel like I'm leaving what's happened behind and that everyone will presume that I'm over it. It sounds crap, but I don't want to move on and leave my baby behind . Does that make sense?

Makes complete sense to me mbs. Moving on from a mc is hard because you almost have to present a public face "I'm fine" because nobody truly wants to hear anything else except others who have been in the same position or DH/DP's as they also lived through it. That is why mumsnet is such a great place to offload our feelings.

If I had not mc'd in feb then the dd would be next month and I am trying not to think about it. The 2nd mc in may was worse and dd for that one was hogmanay so that will really be hard this year. These dates only mean something to me and I feel I shouldn't bring it up with friends etc as they will probably think I am mad.

Hope you get on ok next wk at work will be thinking about you.

Hi all

No AF yet but only 24 hours later than last month and I did a test on Friday I think which was negative and dont' feel at all preggers. I think it's just late...teasing me!

MBM of course you should stick around here. I love chatting to you guys on the 'you know who you are' thread as we can talk about anything and everything.

I don't think anyone ever forgets the babies lost to a MC. I still think about the baby that I lost in March 2005 (similar circumstances to your recent MC, MBM, 12-week scan showed baby had sadly died at about 11 weeks). He / she would have been born in September 2005. Often people seem to think of MCs as this unfortunate natural event unrelated to a human life that could have been. It isn't like that at all.

My school reunion was fun. I hadn't seen some of the people there for 20 years. I felt quite awkward though as I was such a dork and a geek at school. They were all talking about who they went out with at school. I didn't even get a snog until I was 18! (I made up for it though after I left school) At the reunion though they all only only known me as this gangly buck-teethed weird girl.

LOL Becky - I was a geek too! You're v brave for going in my opinion!

Can't write more as off out to very excitingly get some new files to organise our paperwork. Does life get more thrilling than this.

Becky, hope AF continues to be late...

Btw, Becky I meant I hope AF continues to be late in a good way , not so that it annoys/stresses you... I read it back and it didn't read quite right!

I'm sorry about your baby Becky. It must be awful thinking further on down the line about what could have been.

Poppy, it's tough with what-would-have-been due dates looming. My first (well 2nd, but am not counting v early 1st mc) would have been due mid Dec, and I am dreading that. We were thinking of inviting my family to come over for New Year, but I think it's going to be rather a sombre one so we just want to be on our own. It's going to be very difficult for you actually having the due date fall on Hogmanay.

I don't feel I can bring it up with friends either. Thank goodness we have this thread, it really is a lifeline...

We were all due in December, weren't we? Perhaps we should have an anti-Christmas party or something! I was in Sainsbury's today and the sight of the Christmas cakes made me feel really odd. I didn't like it.

AF still not here and cramps doing my head in. It feels like it's going to be here any minute now but it's felt like that since Friday.

Anti-Christmas party sounds great! I feel v odd re Christmas too...

Do you normally get cramps before AF starts Becky?

I do but only the day before, these ones have lasted three days, which is what happened the last time I was pg but besides cramps I have no other pg symptoms at all (coffee smells great, wine looks tempting, don't want to go to bed at 9pm, etc). I woke up in the night really crampy and thought 'this is it', went to the loo but nothing yet. Grrrr. I wish it'd just hurry up and get here. I haven't got any more cheapo internet pregnancy tests so if I want to do a test will have to spend money and get a 'real' one! I'll give it a few more days.

Oooh gosh, it does sound a bit hopeful - it's funny that it's three days late... I have my fingers crossed for you that it's not just AF playing up.

Think it's a good idea to wait a few days to test (even though I will be dying to find out ). It does cost a fortune to get into the testing obsession, which is what I seem to do from about CD25 . By the way, you know that internet site I posted about a while ago? (see here) There is a discount thing on at the mo - coupon code is AD and you get 6.5% off if that helps...

Still no AF (ok only 11 hours since I last posted), still got cramps and feel totally shattered. Am I symptom spotting? Coffee still smells nice though...

Ooooh Becky you must be desperate to test! You have excellent willpower...

Make sure you get an early night if you're knackered!

I always buy the cheapo pg tests when I am buying opk's off ebay - like to have them in the house just to torment myself that I may need them but do admit that the temptation to begin testing early is very strong.

I am feeling very PMTish and felt very grumpy yesterday and today not helped by the constant rain!!! Where is the sun? Am due pretty soon and the symptom spotting for me has begun even though I can feel pmt symptoms. It is a madness.

Becky I hope your AF continues to be late that would be great.

How are you feeling today mbs?