TTC after second or third trimester loss

[MissingMyBaby]

Hi, I thought I would start a thread to see if there’s anyone who has had a second or third trimester loss and is TTC or will be in the next few months.

I was pregnant until a few weeks ago where i sadly lost my so wanted baby at 20 weeks. It’s a horrible pain. We’ve decided to wait until April to TTC so that we can grieve our baby and try to heal mentally and physically. It’s difficult as I really just want my current baby, but my body is also aching to have a living child in my arms.

I’ve now had my first period since the loss and i’ve started tracking so i can start to understand my cycle post loss.

Oh gosh I'm so sorry that is so frustrating and upsetting. Have they said anything about why?

We've had egg collection and are now one week into waiting for PGT results, which could take up to 6 weeks so I'm just settled in to the waiting! Still anxious but not as bad as I was between EC and day 5 xx

Oh I’m so sorry to hear that @i123i. So frustrating. We only had our debrief with the hospital two weeks ago, it took five months and I found that very frustrating.

I have my baseline scan next week. I’ve been on the pill for the past few weeks which has messed with my hormones a bit. Won’t be sorry to finish that tomorrow. We’ve just found out the consultant that we had for our last cycles has moved on and I’m irritated that the clinic didn’t even bother to tell me. She had over 20 years experience and felt like a safe pair of hands. Her replacements have 3-5 years experience so I’m less confident.

Best of luck with the next stage @Moosey898. Will have fingers and toes crossed. I’m glad you’ve gotten through the five days, I found those days the very, very hardest of my entire IVF journey.

Hi ladies, unfortunately this pregnancy didn’t stick. I started bleeding at what should have been 7 weeks but only an empty sac seen on scan so early miscarriage.

This is my 4th loss now, it’s the hardest journey

Oh I’m so sorry @Fullofconfusion that’s so heartbreaking. Hope you’re getting some support and are taking care of yourself. It’s so hard 💔

I'm so sorry 😔 recurrent loss is so hard.

@Fullofconfusion I am so, so sorry and I hope you have lots of support around you. Sending love.

@Fullofconfusion- I am so sorry for your loss. Heartbreak after heartbreak. I hope you have lots of support around you.

@Moosey898- no reason given for the meeting being pushed back again. Just an automatic notification. I know there are other priorities in the NHS but I would just like to get my results! Glad you’re not feeling as anxious as the previous stage, hope it continues to go well.

@SparklyGreenTiger- five months is hard to wait. It will be over 6 months by the time we get ours. Unless they push it back again…!
Glad you get to finish the pill now, but sorry to hear about the consultant switch. It’s definitely something you should have been told in advance. I hope the replacement proves to be a good replacement!

I did say it to the team that were doing my debrief @i123i that the wait had been excessive and added to stresses. I was nice about it, it’s not their fault clearly. They were all apologies but they were supposed to send us follow up notes after the call. Three weeks ago today and nothing. Forgotten about the moment they hung up.

I’m so sorry you’re still waiting. It is so hard.

I’ve asked to speak to a manager and get some assurances about the IVF care going forward as it’s such an unnecessary stress purely driven by poor management decisions and communications.

Sending you all hugs today 🫂

Hi everyone just wanted to see how you all are and to say that I hope you were kind to yourselves over the weekend.

We’ve finally had our post mortem review appointment booked for later this week and I am absolutely terrified. It feels like we’ve been in this weird limbo waiting for it and I’m simultaneously terrified they will have found an answer and that they won’t.

How did the meeting go @Wishingforwhatshouldhavebeen? Ours should be at end of April but not banking on it after it being moved 4 times….

Thanks for the hugs last Sunday @SparklyGreenTiger

How is everyone getting on? Think they’re were a couple of significant IVF processes happening for some in mid March?

Got our IVF follow up today after our first cycle gave us no normal embryos (out of 5 sent for testing) so guess we will find out what next steps are. It's been 2 weeks waiting on this call since we got the bad news so can't blooming wait for it to be done with so I know what the next plan is!

Really sorry to hear that news @Moosey898 its so tough to get nothing at the end of a gruelling cycle.

I had my egg collection last week and as at yesterday morning we had eight embryos still
growing (we’re now day 4) , four good quality, 4 average quality. We’re hoping to get a few embryos to Day 5/6 and aiming to do my first ever fresh transfer tomorrow. I’m so anxious that they are going to call and say they haven’t made it or there was a power cut or something.

I hope your review does go ahead this time @i123i, it’s so unfair postponing four times. I never heard back from the Bereavement Team at the Conquest after my debrief despite assurances that I would. I wasn’t hugely surprised, they were great when you’re in the hospital but the aftercare has been appalling.

@i123i thank you for asking, it was quite hard but I’m glad it happened. All of the tests on me and baby came back clear for everything so it’s looking like a case of “just” bad luck which I’m really struggling to get my head around. I think I really wanted there to be an answer, but equally I know that no results are more hopeful for the future so it’s a hard one. They also think that baby might have been a girl rather than a boy which is bringing up some very complicated emotions. I really hope that you get your appointment this time, it’s awful they’ve postponed so many times and left you waiting for so long.

I’m so sorry about your bad news @Moosey898, I really hope that your appointment today gives you some answers and a plan.

Keeping everything crossed for you @SparklyGreenTiger, will be thinking of you.

Thanks @SparklyGreenTiger and @Wishingforwhatshouldhavebeen

Just had the call - no answers as such, but a very valid point that NHS funding is generous for PGT-SR (3 rounds) and that that is for good reasons, if most people had success round 1 then the NHS would only fund 1 round!

So we go again. Just messaged the nursing team to get my prescription sorted. Praying it can all be done ahead of my next period starting x

Hi all, sorry for a delayed response.

Sorry to hear the round was unsuccessful @Moosey898, but like you said success isn’t always on the first go. Keeping my fingers crossed for the next round.
@SparklyGreenTiger- what’s the latest with you and the fresh transfer? Hopefully happy news!

@Wishingforwhatshouldhavebeen- thanks for the update re the results meeting. It’s hard to accept there isn’t a reason but I think I read somewhere that’s the case in over half of second trimester losses unfortunately. Also I can’t believe they’re not sure if baby was a boy or girl! Did you see baby after they were born? Even if not you would think they would know for sure from the post mortem. Sorry you’re having to deal with that.

I am tentatively sharing the news that I am pregnant. I’m sorry if this is upsetting for anyone to read but also I feel it can give some hope / happiness maybe. Just taking it day by day and not thinking or planning ahead AT ALL. Haven’t had any scans yet.
I’ve been quite sick so far, but I was in the pregnancy where I lost the baby too so it doesn’t really mean anything…. I’ve been referred to the Prematurity clinic for extra checks from week 12, but still waiting on the post mortem results meeting in 2 weeks time.

Anyway, keeping you all in my prayers and thoughts. ❤️

Hi all,

I'm sorry everyone is in the same boat and so sorry to hear of everyone's losses.

I got my first ever bfp in November and found out we lost our very much wanted boy at 17+3. Delivered 11/02, period returned after 5 weeks and currently due on on Saturday.

It's just the worst situation, so much worse than the initial infertility. My bloods have come back within normal limits but likely have a 4-6 month wait for post mortem / histology results.

I can't help but overthink every little thing, I know rationally it's likely my body just settling back down, but I've had mild cramping on and off for 5 or so days (usual for me so far from period) and I'm convinced my boobs are looking different 🤦🏼‍♀️ .

I'm not tracking ovulation as it will consume me and won't be beneficial to my mental health, have an amazing bereavement midwife and counselling but its all so rubbish.

Wishing everyone all the best 💖

Congratulations @i123i, best of luck for your pregnancy. Really hoping it goes smoothly for you!

Sadly our fresh transfer ended in a BFN last week. It’s been a lot to come to terms with. I have one frozen embryo so taking some time and will do an FET in a few months. I think regardless of the outcome one, this will be the end of our journey. I’m tired, it’s so costly in every sense of the word and if we end up being a one-child family then I’m still very lucky cos she’s great.

I’m so so sorry @Elephantscantjump, honestly baby loss is just the worst thing that can happen to someone. I’ll be changed by that experience forever. And unfortunately not for the better. It also really shows you the people in your life, many of my friends were amazing and some disappeared.

Well in a first time ever, which is just a massive kick in the teeth my period arrived this morning - 6 days early! A 27 day cycle. If you don't laugh you'll cry.

Thanks @i123i - just had our second round egg collection today, got 10 eggs now the nervous wait begins for results of fertilisation to blasts to genetic testing.

I will be keeping everything crossed your pregnancy is a healthy and happy one and you get to hold your little one in your arms at the end x

@SparklyGreenTiger I'm so sorry it didn't work this round 😔 I really hope your little frozen one is the one that sticks x

@Elephantscantjump I'm so sorry for your loss - did you give your little boy a name? Sorry your period is here as well, it's always such a kick in the teeth.

@Moosey898 thank you, best of luck with your IVF 💖

We have stuck with our nickname we had for him 'Baggie' (my partner is a wba fan).

I just stupidly got my hopes up a little bit as felt similar symptomatic to my positive test month and my cycle has never been this short 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ .

Hi all, a sad update from me. We found out yesterday at 12 weeks that baby had no heartbeat (went in for an emergency scan as I started spotting a tiny bit - this is how the last miscarriage started).
I’ve decided to go down the medical management route. However this time I have to do it at home as it’s earlier (last time I stayed in hospital for 2 days). I’ve taken the first pill, and taking the pessaries tomorrow morning which I am dreading.

I had hoped it would be a happier outcome this time around. I think this might be the end of my TTC journey, not sure I can go through this again, especially after really bad first trimesters with vomiting each time.

Wishing you all the best of luck, do keep us updated.

@i123i I'm so sorry for your loss xx

Oh @i123i, I am so so sorry for your loss. Honestly, it’s all just so shit. Try to take care of yourself as much as you can. I haven’t done the medical management route myself but I hope it’s not too physically difficult for you. The emotional side is a whole different ball game. Sending you hugs and love