The wagoners have lost their way, NEW THREAD HERE - for TTC'ers and waiting to TTC'ers alike

[NatalieJaneIsPregnantAgain]

Hiya BB Good to see you

IIRC your mum went when you were younger didn't she? You had more of a relationship with your Dad, you are bound to miss him more, don't feel guilty for that, it is natural.

Every other day sounds good

What's for lunch? I am hungry but don't fancy anything, I need inspiration...

yes nat thats right mum died when i was ten, dad when i was 17, you make a lot of sense!

thanks playing, thats partly why i am staying away, DP and i have agreed to devote more free time together and stuff cos i was coming home getting on the pooter and not seeing him all evening ! whoops

NJ i had tuna pasta, trying to be a bit good!!

Well I am just about to eat a brie tomarto and pesto French stick sanie, so not much help nat. Could always subsitiute for another cheese.

BB, don't feel sad or guilty, just because you miss him more doesn't mean you love your mum less, maybe think of it as meaning your dad had more of a presence in your life, more of an impact on you, IYSWIM.

I can't work out what to do really, keep trying with TTC or give up - but I've never given up on anything, and if I give up, I won't get what I want either. Feels like I can't win whatever I do. I fail if I don't try and I'll fail if I do.

I know it sounds cheesy and crap and spoilt but I'm not really used to not getting what I want by working at something - I'm not after a gift here - but am beginning to feel like I'm banging my head on a brick wall. We've been TTC since January - again, I know this isn't that long compared to some people - but that doesn't make it easier for me to deal with.

BB, didn't realise the cicumstances you lost your mum and dad, but it makes sense that you'd feel like you do, but totally understandable. x

I know we don't do them, but sending you a anyway, x

thanks cals, im not normally so emotional but lately im a menace, yesters dp was talking to his mum about what to get his dad, and i cried.... i spose i might miss my mum less also because i have a good relationship with my other mum (refuse to say step!)

cals i know how you feel im EXACTLY the same, never really had to try before! i would give out my email for a private chat if anyone wanted it x

right nearly time to get back to work!

speak to you all soon

BB you have my email for anything you want sweatie, will be busy over the next couple of hours though...

I had a sarnie, good ol' marmite, gotta love it

So DS2 has been asleep for an hour, what's the betting he wakes up as soon as MW comes through the door? Or even worse just as she is coming to the door, so I have a whingy 'just woke up' grump of a child, who will need his bum changing, as she walks in the door? Nice first impression...!!

Oh and for Cal and BB about 'giving up' there is a big difference between giving up TTC'ing, and giving up the stress of it. There is a lot to be said for relaxing the pressure we put on ourselves, and in fact the stress will be making it less likely to happen sooner.

Cal you have a vague idea of cycle length/OV due, just forget the rest of it, no temping, OPK's timed GOF's, just go with the flow, have good ol' sex for the sake of it. BB can see it is a little harder for you with your cycles being a bit inside out after the coil, but I think your step back from the thread (don't leave us completely though!!) and just the every other day sexercise will help loads.

Can't believe I just wrote sexercise That is worse than hubby and babyland put together....

Guess it would be cheeky to get the MW to do it?

How long does he normally have?

I feel like I need therapy at the moment; I can't think of anything to say, but kind of want to be with people and want to talk, but don't want to listen to anyone else - you think you're a menace BB, I'm driving DH round the bleeding bend!!! Has TTC actually pushed me over the edge?

My tonsills are really swollen again today so I still sound stupid and am fed up of being off work sick (am not, am supposed to be working today) last week I was on holiday and when I went in yesterday, everyone was saying 'oh, how are you, are you better now'.....everyone's so used to me being off ill they're bloody expecting it now!

And that's probably not helping matters much is it? How can it be so bloody difficult to get pregnant? Can't believe I actually bothered with the MAP when I was a student and we had a couple of burst condoms - its beaten into you that one 'false' move and you're pregnant, but its just not the case is it? DH and I have been perfoming 'false' moves all over the shop to try to get a BFP.

Its just not bloody fair.

NJ, I have tried, really I have, I've only filled in my chart once a week so that I don't forget stuff, I don't do temping or OPK's.

Here's the factor for me - before TTC, DH and I hadn't had sex for a very long time, so its been great motivation for us to re-kindle what we had, its really improved our relationship, not that it was bad, but it is now better. Perhaps I need to duck out of here for a couple of months.

But I'd miss you all too much.

Cal, I know what you mean, even if you told youself you weren't doing any of it this cycle, in the back of your mind you'd still be looking for the OV signs, then still be waiting for the day to test to come round, I would be exactly the same. I don't really know what the answer is, I wish I did.

I expect this on going situation with your tonsills isn't helping at all, is there anything the doctor can do to get it sorted once and for all? Could you have them taken out? My sister had hers out, she had a waiting list of 9 months originally, but they kept cancelling at the last minute, it took nearly 2 years in the end before they actually did it, if you got on the list now, I am sure you'd have had DC2 by then?

You know you would be sorely missed (not least by me) if you did duck out, but if you think that would help, would it be a good idea? Or maybe we could come up with a chat thread as a side line to this thread, where TTC'ing, babies, periods, due dates, etc are banned topics? Ooooh and deffo ban all talk of chocolate, t'is wayyyy too tempting!

MW here, BBL xxx

Afternoon everyone - sorry to hear you sounding so down Calsworld; Speaking with my psychologists hat on, this ttc is a really stressful business. I didn't want to become obsessed with ov dates/timed GOFs etc, but like NJ says, you can't help but get 'into' all the signs and symptoms and a thread like this can be a mixed blessing. On the one hand its so great to 'talk' to people who understand what you're going through. For example yesterday I had what I thought was a real breakthrough in understanding my cycle, but as if you can go up to people in real life and talk about that?! But on the other hand ttc dominates your life enough as it is... Its hard. Its not like anything else, like you say - its not down to hard work, but to fate/luck whatever you want to call it, and because we are biologically driven as well as emotionally driven to want children, it can be quite over-whelming. I hope you're ok though sorry to ramble on.

Bb don't really know what to say as it sounds like you're having such a tough time too. A little time out and some quality time with your dp sounds like what the dr ordered. Will look forward to 'seeing' you again soon.

Hope everyone else is ok. FF is playing with my head. It has changed my ov day from last Friday to last Saturday - GOF on Thursday and Saturday, so don't know whether that will be any good. Still having trouble looking at your chart Squack - would be good to have someone else's to look at to stop me obsessing about mine.

Right, this post is getting way too long!

So why do they book you a 2 hour appointment for booking in, when they can do it at home in less than half an hour?

They did the book filling in thing, booked my scan, robbed my blood, and sodded off, and I got DS2 up and changed in between all that!

And how huge are the notes now? t'was only 2 years ago I had DS2 notes, I thought they were big, but this thing is huge!!!

Oh well, gives me another couple of hours till school run

Hiya Happy, x posts, Thursday and Saturday GOF's are great

Glad your appointment went ok, if a bit quick. Is there anything different about the notes (apart from their size)? I remember mine from about 2 years ago were sort of A4 sized and sort of faded photocopied growth charts and things.

Glad you think I might be in with a chance this month. Am not going to obsess any further. If FF changes my date again I'm just going to ignore it and carry on... right, off to clean the bathroom now while dd is asleep.

BB, I can't believe I missed you!!!!! I went to get some shopping and go to the doctors!!!!
Sorry you're having a bad time recently. If you want to e-mail me its [email protected] (sorry its so boring, must get an interesting one)

Nat, I keep reading my notes even though they don't say anything. I don't think they are any different from DS's.

Now watching that Baby Race program on Sky Real Lives.

Happy, I've not really had a proper look yet, but the notes 'book' thing, is more or less the same as DS2's, with some extra leaflets and stuff bound into it, but the pouch/folder thing they come in, must have at least 25 books, booklets, sheets of paper, not unlike all the shite you get in those bounty pack things they give you at the hospital when you've had them.

Some good news though, the MW reckons the pre-eclampsia last time was down to the all the stress/lack of sleep/prem. del. threat surrounding the irritable uterous, so she thinks if I don't get the irritable uterous thingy again, I probably won't get the pre-eclampsia again, which is excellent, I think I might chop my own legs off if they were to swell up as much as they did with the PE!

And the other good news is that I don't have to see the consultant about any of it (the irritable uterous, or the PE) unless I get signs of it happening again, and I don't have to see anyone (except for my scan) until AUGUST hoorahhhhhhhh

finally..........have got a break in work so I can respond.

Right - no i haven't had a c-section before but with my dd my labour was awful. She got stuck and and ended up needing a ventouse (which failed) and forceps. DD ended up with a fractured skull and 2 bleeds on the brain and a long stay in special care. For the 1st 3 months the doctors had no idea if she would be brain damaged or not. Thankfully she is fine. After a lot of letters,a lawyer and the local MP being involved, the guy that did it has been sacked as he was found at fault (he didn't bother to check that she was back to back - and used un-nessasary force).

I know the same thing won't happen again but the memories are just too much for me to cope with and I will be petrified of another vaginal delivery.

Oooh Pop thats dreadful. I'm so sorry you and your family had to go through that. Can you if you want to ask for an elec CS?

Nat, did you get the big bounty pack as well. With 1 nappy in it!!

afternoon all....i expect to be in my 2ww now... but i'm going to be VERY good and not test till AF due!!! I dotn think we'll have hit the jackpot first month.... but fingers crossed!!

DS is having his nursery photo's today so he went in all smart perfectly clean uniform and i just know he'll mess himself with something before them!! think we get the photo's next week sometime... i'm all exited!!

In Jan i discussed it with the midwife and she said I had a good case for a c-section but that I would have to discuss it with a consultant. I felt like a right plonker as I went in there all guns blazing and demanding a c-section then went for the scan to be told that the baby had died.

I won't be mentioning the word c-section to them this time round until the 5 month scan at least, so as not to tempt fate.

oh pop that does sound dreadful... i take it because of that you couldn't have home birth to avoid the hospital environment... an Ec could possibly be an option... or if it was easier for you maybe a doula?

I think I would be too scared in case this baby was back to back and got stuck. I think we have funny pelvis's in our family. My mum delivered both my sister and I back to back.

I thought I might ask my mum to be there this time as my DH was tramatised by the whole thing. In fact our marriage nearly broke down because of it. If i ask mum then she may already be in the hospital with my sister!!! - good job I have an active mum.

My sister has mentioned having a Doula. Are they very expensive?