TTC #1 no previous pregnancies cycle #6 - looking for others in the same boat!

[MocktailMe]

Hi all.

As per the title, TTC first baby, I've never had a confirmed pregnancy before. I'm 31, bf is 27.

Been trying to conceive 9 months, but due to PCOS only 6 cycles.

This year I've lost weight, and my cycles since January have varied from 28 days to 38 days. Had PCOS confirmed, and currently waiting for an appointment with gynaecologist to see if I need further assistance. Appointment is taking its sweet time so for now doing it the old fashioned way still with plenty of hope (at least some days, not so much others!!!).

I'm currently on cycle day number 28, negative tests, no signs of a period in sight, CM up to my eyeballs and a whole heap of doubt over when ovulation occured!!

If you are :

TTC #1
A woman who has never been pregnant
Pissing on sticks at an ALARMING rate
Potentially with PCOS but healthy ovaries welcome 😁

Then PLEASE join my thread, so in need of buddies in a similar boat! ⛵

No offence to those TTC #2 or more, genuinley ❤️ just hoping to speak to people who also have no idea what pregnancy would feel like, and who also maybe have the fear they CANNOT ever get pregnant ❤️

Thanks for the welcomes ladies @MocktailMe @Waitingformiracle @KTB34

@MocktailMe Sorry to hear your testing negative at 11DPO. I don’t think we was ever told the ttc journey could be difficult. Yet, personally I’ve found it one of the most consuming things I’ve ever gone through and I’m only on month 3. Glad to hear you have a plan in place for your next cycle if things don’t work out as wanted, I do find having some focus and a plan really helps me, hope it does you too!

Hey fellow newbies @NoisyBee @c644775 @houwseevryweekend! Hopefully we can all support each other through the ttc journey ☺️

@houwseevryweekend I feel the need to say welcome to you because I’m 35 in March and can’t help but feel my biological clock is ticking away !

Welcome to everyone else ❤️

I was recommended inofolic alpha by a specialist due to having mild polycystic ovaries. No idea if that helped when we had our first positive test but I will keep going with them when we come to try again

Sorry me again!

I remember seeing on here someone using Mira to track ovulation. I cannot remember who it was (so sorry)

But whoever it was, would you recommend it?

Hi @KTB34 it was me! I actually got it after my loss to see how my hormones behaved. In general it is very good but just a few things to be aware of - 1. It is very very expensive to keep up. The wands cost a lot so while the monitor is an initial investment the cost kind of keeps going and I didn't expect to still be using it for so long but here we are. 2. It can cause a lot of anxiety when your hormones don't follow the same pattern as what you consider "normal" from seeing other people post their charts on these forums. 3. Sometimes it doesn't catch your LH surge and then the algorithm will keep saying you haven't ovulated which is super frustrating.

Having said all that, I do love mine and I've continued using it. But I still also use regular OPKs to try catch ovulation because it's too expensive to be testing multiple times a day on the Mira and it's not really the way you're supposed to use it anyway. Hope that's helpful 😊

@Waitingformiracle thank you this is really helpful! I was considering it before we had our BFP. But the thing that put me off was the replacement of the wands !

I used the clear blue digital ones for about 3 cycles, which I found helpful but again they only track LH. It’s so confusing knowing which one to use and there aren’t that many on the market! I found a really good one when I was researching called Inito but you can only get it in the US 🙄

@KTB34 I use clear blue advanced ovulation tests, which look for oestrogen and LH.. so I get a flashing smiley as I enter my fertile window as it detectors the oestrogen starting to rise and then the static smiley for 48hrs once it’s detected an LH rise. I would say overall it’s good as I know my window a lot clearer, it’s very sensitive to an LH rise also. I use OPKs alongside it and I will get a positive OPK typically later in the day or next day.. but it captures your “peak” fertility (or has for me) to be 24/36 hours earlier than I would see “peak” on an OPK so I never know which is the more reliable peak result. Its not the same level of investment as a Mira monitor as I was looking at ordering one of these yesterday, costs me about £20 a month for the tests. But I think if we are still ttc after Xmas I will invest in the Mira just to see how my hormones are reacting as I feel in my luteal phase my progesterone isn’t as strong as it should be and my oestrogen is higher than it should be.

@KT199 this is what me and My Husband were discussing last night. In the long term mira would be cheaper than having to keep going for scans etc (we’ve said we’re going to stay private) and not had a great experience with the NHS so far!

It’s all just a minefield 🤯

@KTB34 Yeah, we was discussing if we ever needed to go down the route of having help it would be useful to be able to have months of clearly tracked cycles to give to the healthcare provider, which is why I think if it at the 6 month mark we got it, we’d have 6 months of data at the point of needing to go ask for help. Although, there’s not a bone in my body that thinks I could accept 12 months of negatives before it least doing some basic testing. It’s so mentally challenging already!

@KTB34 yes I've read about the initio I think it's quite similar to Mira. Let me know if you do get it!

Thanks for thinking of me @MocktailMe. I'm really struggling - I don't know how else to describe it but I know most on this thread understand the feeling. Finding it difficult that DH can 'forget' about it - but in his words, it wouldn't be much good if we were both sat around crying about it! He's right and I do need him to be strong for both of us right now but god it feels lonely. I bloody hate my body and feel like such a failure. I'm actually depressing myself now so god knows how you lot will feel reading this😂sorry about your BFN @MocktailMe I also tested negative 11dpo - currently 13dpo and due on Sunday - all my normal feelings of AF arriving and imagine I will start spotting today. Another month down. I took 2.5mg Letrozole this cycle and think I am doing the same this time but they are planning on scanning me this time around so at least I will know that I actually ovulated. although I don't think that's our issue so I imagine I will be back here in the same situation next month!
@KTB34 I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss - please look after yourself. I hope your rainbow baby is just around the corner X

@KT199 It is I agree, it’s awful you feel you have to have all that information before someone will take you seriously in the first place !

@MocktailMe funnily enough I messaged them on instagram a few months back to ask if it would ever be shipped to the UK and they said no 🤣

@Familyfirst12 thank you so much, me too ❤️🌈

In regards to home testing, has anyone used the exseed for their OH? We actually bought it as it was £65 in the Amazon prime day deals down from £89 but now I’m a little nervous to do it as unsure how reliable it is! 😂 the reviews are good and we thought why not.. but just looking for any personal experiences?

We have used exseed! We actually topped up on slides as sperm is so variable and we have done it quite a few times over many months. I have been incredibly impressed with it - very accurate as lined up with results we had done at a similar time with a clinic. Brilliant product in my experience!

Looks like I've missed a lot since I last checked here!

So sorry for your loss @KTB34, heartbreaking news and I hope you're able to look after yourself.

Welcome to everyone who's just joined, and congrats @CosmoMango ! I hope it's going smoothly for you so far.

@NoisyBee Very sorry for your loss. I have a shorter LP too, usually 9 or 10 days. I've been taking vitamin b6 all through my cycle, I don't know if that's how I should be doing it but since I started taking it 3 months ago I've had 2 months of my LP being 13 days, so I think it's working! I've also been taking a vit B complex and vit C as they apparently help the B6 absorb better. And I've been feeling a lot less tired recently from all these vitamins so that's an added bonus!

Hello, fellow 'geriatric' (I hate the NHS calls us this!!). My group of friends are all between 37-42, most have conceived naturally but a few have had a few cycles of ivf and then conceived. A lot of them had miscarriages sadly before a successful pregnancy so even if I do get pregnant, won't relax till 12 week scan.

It's just me and another friend left now without bab. She's 42 and has been trying for 6 months only but is about to start ivf now as doesn't want to wait any longer. Keeping fingers crossed for both of us.

Thank you for the feedback!! We will give it a go in the near future just hoping the results are positive, I guess if not we can focus upon trying to improve and getting help 🤞

@Tater05 thank you ❤️

@houwseevryweekend I know it’s so offensive isn’t it 🤣

I know how you feel. Feels like the odds stack against you the older you get.

I feel if we’re ever luckier enough to conceive again I’ll be anxious every single second!

Hello again ladies. Big welcome to all the newbies joining!

@Familyfirst12 good to hear from you, and once again the words you write i could have written myself.

I am so embarrassed every time someone asks if I have children and I have to say no.

I feel like I've got BARREN stamped on my forehead. Useless, unattractive, infertile, worthless. I really badly try not to lean into these thoughts, but they are always there.

It blows my mind seeing women with multiple children now, 4, 5, 6 of them! HOW just HOW!

My mind keeps moving to adoption and how much I don't want to do that. And I think maybe that means I'm simply not cut out to be a mother, as surely if I was the right sort of woman I'd be keen to do so? I'd be open to donor egg pregnancy if I could carry the baby, but a surrogate I'd just be so jealous of her I'd be sick (and I'm hardly Kim K - it's not a realistic option either 😂), and adoption I think I'd be so jealous of the 'real' mum, and feel like an imposter. I already feel inferior to mums!

Sorry for being such a barrel of negative energy, but my god, I can't even bear the thought of another November trying. There were NEVER meant to be two TTC Novembers.

Honestly I just need my period to come now so my small dreams can be crushed properly and I can get over myself!!!

I usually feel better once my period starts (bizarrely) because it means limbo is over.

Is anyone else at a similar cycle day to me currently?

@MocktailMe I totally relate to the feeling of relief when your period comes. I am always the same once I know I'm not pregnant. A new cycle is always a fresh start. I'm on CD 2 so a few days ahead of you

Keep going @MocktailMe ❤️

We’re all behind you 🤍

@Waitingformiracle yes you're just on the other side actually. That's one nice thing, when I roll round to TTC post HSG we should be in line again to have a buddy!

@KTB34 @houwseevryweekend FWIW, whilst you are both a few years older than me, I'm not convinced it matters as much as you might think. The odds on conceiving with assistance don't differ that much for women under 40 - and we will all end up in the same boat with help if things don't work naturally. The more time goes by the more I think so much of it is down to luck - I see women with babies much much older than me, and yet on here several women in their early twenties struggling. If you do struggle at 35 or 38 there's nothing to say you wouldn't have struggled earlier anyway.

I personally first TTC aged 27 and had no luck, and have now been trying since 30 with still no luck. I also was ridiculously reckless as a teenager around 15-17 and had exclusively unprotected sex for months on end and didn't have a baby then either.

@MocktailMe you know I said to my Husband I spent most of my 20’s trying not to get pregnant and now look!

I don’t know if any of you have been on birth control but coming off it and my periods disappearing I wish I never went on it! I don’t think enough information is given