TTC #1 no previous pregnancies cycle #6 - looking for others in the same boat!

[MocktailMe]

Hi all.

As per the title, TTC first baby, I've never had a confirmed pregnancy before. I'm 31, bf is 27.

Been trying to conceive 9 months, but due to PCOS only 6 cycles.

This year I've lost weight, and my cycles since January have varied from 28 days to 38 days. Had PCOS confirmed, and currently waiting for an appointment with gynaecologist to see if I need further assistance. Appointment is taking its sweet time so for now doing it the old fashioned way still with plenty of hope (at least some days, not so much others!!!).

I'm currently on cycle day number 28, negative tests, no signs of a period in sight, CM up to my eyeballs and a whole heap of doubt over when ovulation occured!!

If you are :

TTC #1
A woman who has never been pregnant
Pissing on sticks at an ALARMING rate
Potentially with PCOS but healthy ovaries welcome 😁

Then PLEASE join my thread, so in need of buddies in a similar boat! ⛵

No offence to those TTC #2 or more, genuinley ❤️ just hoping to speak to people who also have no idea what pregnancy would feel like, and who also maybe have the fear they CANNOT ever get pregnant ❤️

It's heavier than yesterday, not discharge with blood any more just proper blood, no clots or tissue or anything yet. Still have really sore boobs which was what made me test becasue usually they stop the day before it starts and by day two are totally normal.

I think this is too much blood to be normal, but obviously I don't have any experience with what normal is. There isn't a heavy flow as such, more a few drops, but constant blood when I wee now, and a few marks on the panty liner I wore last night. I've got a pad in now expecting the full flow to hit any time soon. The cramping from yesterday has stopped, so I reckon now that's over the blood will start to flow properly.

Sorry if this is all TMI. I feel shocked. I didn't expect my first positive tests to be accompanied with bleeding. Life is so cruel.

@MocktailMe I am so sorry you are going through this. Sounds awful, sending you lots of love. Keep us posted, if the bleeding stops and doesn't go to full flow then obviously that is a good sign but I get that the amount of blood at the moment doesn't feel positive.

Sorry your AF arrived at @JW24M and @Waitingformiracle, it is always a difficult day when it comes.

Welcome @TiredBoredGay, really hope this egg collection goes well for you. I think my husband and I will be starting IVF in the next couple of months so I will probably have lots of questions for you!

@CosmoMango fingers crossed a relaxing holiday will do the trick for you guys.

Also I have heard of couples still managing to conceive a few days before ovulation so keeping my fingers crossed for you @lavafield

@MocktailMe I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. Keep an eye on the bleeding and if it doesn’t turn into a full on period I would test again and see if the lines are darker. I think the rule of thumb is that if you are filling a pad every 2-3 hours then it is likely a chemical.

@lavafield you’re definitely still within the window plus ovulation can be off by a day or two so you never know!

@ToomanyBFNs thank you, never easy but just focusing on another cycle and chance for a better outcome hopefully!

@MocktailMe so sorry you're going through this, whatever the outcome is it's horrible not knowing what's going on. Sending hugs and I hope you don't have to wait long to find out which way it's going.

And sorry to those of you who just got your AF. The wait is over and you can start fresh with a new cycle.

@TiredBoredGay my fingers are crossed for you! Sounds hopeful so far 🤞🏼

So sorry @MocktailMe hoping the bleeding stops for you

@ToomanyBFNs, @JW24M, @Waitingformiracle - thank you! We did manage to DTD on day after expected ovulation too, so will see! It feels like over the 5 cycles we have been trying we only once really timed it well with multiple DTD, and that was before I started taking vitamins, so I hope that made a difference by now, and we just need to time it better next months if this month we are out.
Sorry to hear about everyone with AF - onwards to a new cycle! You are already halfway there!! Whereas I am sitting here 2DPO thinking we ruined our chances this month, meaning a wait of almost 4 weeks! What an agony! 😂

@lavafield if it helps, the one time I managed to get pregnant we only DTD twice and I was pretty convinced I got the days wrong but it was the one time it worked for us. I hate that feeling that you missed the days though it’s the worst and it makes the TWW even slower. Fingers crossed for you guys!

This month I’m not tracking anything I’m just going with the flow and try get some sex in every few days and see what happens. Need a break!

Thank you! Yes that's a good approach! As it was mentioned here earlier, just DTD every couple of days should cover it and takes the stress of scheduled sex away.

@lavafield crossing everything for you! @Waitingformiracle we’re going to do the same. AF is baaaad this month, can’t wait for the effer to be gone so we can start! I feel like my poor boyf won’t know what hit him but we want this so badly! Feel like i’m going to turn into stacey off gaving and stace 😂😂😂 Xx

Hi everyone thanks for the kind messages.

Unfortunately the bleeding became very very heavy last night and continues today a little lighter again now. So will have been a chemical.

Looking ahead to the next cycle as always, and this month I will be starting OPK earlier than usual to see if I have another early ovulation. I've also decided that if Im bleeding again and have a suspicion I simply won't test as I don't want to know again in future.

@MocktailMe I purchased a batch of OPK’s (clear blue) from Amazon and tested every day (obv not when I had my ‘fake’ period but as soon as it stopped). My cycles were non-existent and turned out I was ovulating after when I should’ve been. Give it a go you may find you’re not ovulating when you thought you were.

Sorry you’ve gone through this 😥

Sending love! X

Sat in the airport ready to go on holiday. Think my ovulation day is likely Tuesday, hoping this month is it for us. Not tracking this month just DTD every other day/3 days in a row so far and will continue

So sorry @MocktailMe i would feel the same and rather not know. I had similar happen in the past and it was either a chemical pregnancy or because I was accidentally exposed to something at work but the bleeding was like nothing I’ve had before. Wish I’d never taken that test as I’ll never know whether it would’ve worked out or not

So sorry it turned out to be a CP @MocktailMe 💙apparently you can be more fertile after a CP so fingers crossed for the next cycle.

I didn't realise you can have a chemical before your period is due and I'm starting to wonder if I had one last month. It came earlier than expected, the cramps woke me up in the night which doesn't normally happen, and it was heavier and lasted longer than usual. Or it could have just been a particularly nasty period, I didn't test so no way of knowing.

@CosmoMango I'm due to ovulate on Tuesday too! I hope you have a super relaxed holiday and that does the trick for you!

@JW24M laughing so much at the Gavin and Starcey reference I know exactly what you mean haha.

@MocktailMe hope you are doing ok. Sending hugs!

@CosmoMango have a great holiday. Seems a few of us doing the no tracking this month I’m looking forward to the mental break from it!

@Tater05 it won't have actually been before my period was due, I just didn't know when it was due as I never got a positive OPK - it's only now that I realise I started testing for ovulation too late. Usually I ovulate much later in the cycle.

I'll be testing and tracking this month fully after this experience, but I've done it with and without testing and honestly I think both ways have their positive aspects!

If I was going on holiday I would be tempted to do the same and not track - no danger of missing peak if your having plenty of sex on holiday any way. Have a great time @CosmoMango

I am very much hoping October will be successful for us.

This is so stupid but I saw a psychic several months ago who said October would bring something important when discussing fertility. Maybe she saw a positive, or maybe it will mean my hysterosalpingogram. Or maybe it was totally wrong. I suppose I'll find out!

Hi ladies! How is everyone doing?

I'm on CD7 and doing my month of no tracking. Thinking we will start to DTD this weekend around CD 9/10 and then try every 2 or 3 days until the following weekend.

Hope everyone is doing ok! @MocktailMe thinking of you after your chemical especially!

Hi all,
@Waitingformiracle - good approach that takes the pressure off and can actually lead to more, not less DTD!

@MocktailMe onwards to October! It is painful to get a chemical but believe that one of the next ones will stick!

I should be 7DPO and had some pulling yesterday but not reading into it knowing we probably messed up DTD time big time this month. I won't test until 10DPO I think (I won't resist not testing at all of course! 😂)

cd7 for me too!! I am testing BBT (finally got the right thermometer haha) but not testing LH as I became too obsessed last month. I might do a test when I think i’m peaking based on BBT/CM but unsure yet xx

Some of us are cycle twins! I'm on CD 8, haven't got a positive OPK yet, but they are much darker than I would have expected. We have already started DTD and insemination the last two days, I'm determined not to miss it.

I am trying to see it more as another failed month than a failed pregnancy. Just that this time we managed the fertilisation. I mostly feel very angry at the moment. Anger at everyone else who chooses TTC and actually gets the choice! I feel me TTC is just nothing - nothing happens, my decisions haven't made any difference whatsoever. I'm sure lots of you relate. Angry and bored about sums it up I think - which is tough as I think people are a lot more understanding when people are sad, or heartbroken. Jealousy, bitterness and anger are the ugly emotions of TTC that people don't want to see or hear about.

@lavafield pulling sensation sounds very positive 🤞 only 3 more days until you test that's very exciting! Yes I agree I think it might take the pressure off my husband and actually allow us get more BD in.

@JW24M & @MocktailMe - happy to have cycle twins!! Always good for comparing notes. I hear you on getting too obsessed with the testing @JW24M honestly I'd nearly be embarrassed to tell you all the various methods of tracking I was using the last few months 🤣 I might take a sneaky test on the weekend just to make sure I'm not leaving it too late but in general I am loving the freedom of not knowing this month!

I completely relate to this. I was so sure I was last month and when AF came I sobbed in frustration. I made myself mad this week - saw pregnancy announcements and didn’t react like I usually would - guilt set in that I should be happy but I felt just sadness and frustration it wasn’t me sharing that news. I feel brighter today, but that’s probably because we haven’t started DTD frequently to try and catch.

sending big hugs xx

@MocktailMe sorry should add that I totally relate to this. I feel so much anger and I'm finding it harder and harder to stay in touch with pregnant friends out of resentment. I hate myself for not being happy for them but I can't help it! I think it's a natural feeling

I have had to distance myself from all my friends with children as the careless ways they moan about being a parent to me or cruelly joke that I could have theirs etc make me feel sick. Telling me it's not all it's cracked up to be as though that is going to make me feel alright about the fact I can't have one. I can't stand the way parents act as though they all know some big secret, they're all on the other side of an invisible line...and I'm just not.

Had a friend splitting from her bf (father of her son), who when I advised some things about how I handled the split of the house during my divorce, told me her situation was entirely different, and much harder, as they have a child. All of my life experiences are dismissed as irrelevant because they are all much bigger, more important, when a child is involved. It's just a big club that I can't enter, despite wanting to, and doing the exact same things to get there that they did! (More, probably!).

I didn't used to feel so angry at everyone. Logically I know it's unfair, and whilst some people say the wrong things I don't think they mean to be unkind or exclude me. But even my own mother speaks this way and tells me to make the most of my freedom etc.