Is 33 too old?

[BunnyLover92]

I'm 31, my husband is 34. We've been married for two years but together for 12. We've always known we want a family one day but never set a timeframe. We're both pretty sure we just want one child.

I now feel ready but he wants a couple more years so we can do one more big holiday and he can tick off some other goals, so I'll be 33 when we start trying. Is this too late? It seems like everyone around me has been having babies and I feel really left behind 💔

By today’s standards, it’s absolutely normal.

Not late at all. Enjoy your holiday and stop stressing about what other people are doing or not. I understand you may be broody and he’s not yet but many women have their children into their late 30s

Thank you. Honestly I feel so much pressure 😩 he's promised me he won't push it back any further than that but it just seems a long time away.

No, in my experience that's totally average. I think I know one person who had a baby in their 20s. Why do you feel pressure? if you want to have a bit more foresight, you could get private fertility testing now, but the majority of couples conceive within a year or two.

I am 43 and one of my best friends is 53. We both have 10 year olds. Do the maths 🤣
(and FWIW she is way more ‘young’ in spirit than me 🤣 and has done 3 half marathons!)

I'd say that's average. Seen stories of women having their firsts in their early 40s on here.
I had my first when I was 32, my mum had her 2nd (me) at 33.

All the best in your TTC journey 😀

I think it's fine. But you can never guarantee anything with fertility. You could have started trying in your 20s and struggle or you can wait until your 39 and conceive first time. I conceived my second baby when I was 33 and gave birth just after my 34th birthday. No issues at all and don't feel like I left it too late but I suppose you need to keep in mind it might not happen straight away. We started trying for our first when I had just turned 29 and it took us 9 months to conceive then miscarried almost 3 months into the pregnancy. It then took another 9 months to conceive again. Second time we also had a miscarriage first month of trying and it then took another 6 months. My experience seems relatively 'normal' too but when I first started trying I was a bit oblivious and kind of naively assumed it just happened quite quickly (which it can do for some people). If you only want one child though I think you'll be absolutely fine and plenty of time on your side.

I had my second baby at 35 and would like another in a couple of years :)

Had my first at 34 and my second due at 36. Will turn 37 a few weeks later.

Thank you all this has been reassuring! I paid to have an amh test done which came back fine and my GP did hormone checks that came back fine too.

I also swapped from the pill to copper IUD and have normal periods so that's good.

I guess I just feel 'old' because everyone in my circle had their first 28-30.

We've bought a house, got married, had some nice holidays and I suppose it will be nice to have a couple more trips just us before having a baby.

I certainly hope your husband isn't stringing you along. It happens. A lot.

Your still young.
Mums have babies right in to their 40s now some 50.
My cut off point was 35 but had one at 18 he`s 20 soon.

I think that's absolutely normal and average! I had my first in December at 37 and plan to have a second (hopefully!) within the next couple of years!

Oh gosh no that's not old. I'm 33, I'm getting married next year and then we'll be starting to TTC so will be 34 at the earliest before any baby arrives. If you've had your hormones checked I'd say you're good. Some of our friends started having babies in their early 30s, second baby around 35 but lots are only just having their first now aged 33-35. It's so easy to stress about things like this - I know, I've been there, but honestly I think you're fine.

I have to ask though, how did you manage to get your GP to check your hormones? Ours around here just say don't worry about it unless we've been trying for 12 months.

Although yes good point from a PP about your husband stringing you along. We're delaying TTC until next year but tbh that's more me than DP (he'd be happy to try this year if I was) and we have a firm plan in place of what we want to achieve / have done before starting to try so he knows I'm not just stringing him along. In your situation (married, house etc) I'd be wanting a plan. Any chance you could bring the big holiday forward and then crack on? He may never lose the "oh but just one more holiday" feeling tbf, he just needs to work out what his bigger priority is - lots of holidays or actually starting a family.

Edited due to typo.

Well it's too late for me. But I was done at 23!

Only you can answer the question on if it's too late for you.

Biologically speaking, you possibly have another 10+ years!

the older the mother is it increases the chance of autism or Down syndrome etc. biologically you’re meant to have children in your 20’s so I say start as soon as possible

FGS, of course it's not too late. I had DC1 at 37 and DC2 at 39. DH is 5 years older than me.

(We also said we'd only have one, btw!)

It's not late but those tests do not prove fertility. I wouldn't risk not having a baby due to fertility issues for another holiday. You have been together a very long time already.

I absolutely agree. I wouldn't wait either. You have everything in place to start a family. I would not put it off for some dumb trip.

I was 33 have DD1 and 36 having her sister, totally normally. Luckily no issues conceiving or with the pregnancy/ birth etc x

I honestly think I've been really lucky with my GP.

Also I had thyroid cancer in my 20's and although they say it shouldn't impact fertility my GP was very understanding that I wanted to check.

That being said I've had friends at the same practice worry and they've been offered tests too.

I do now think if you're having normal periods your blood results will probably be in 'normal' range. I actually had one result outside and the GP said it's fine because they change the ranges all the time anyway!

It's not too late, but personally I got married at 29 (like you) and I wouldn't have wanted to wait 4 years before we started TTC. Does he really need another 2 years? Would he maybe compromise on 1 year?

It's not too late at all as long as you take into consideration that you might not fall pregnant right away when you start trying.

Unfortunately not, it's going to take time to save and there's other goals too.

I am hoping to do a qualification at work so this time line does sit quite nicely with the end of that. I think my husband would like a better job too. Ultimately it's so we can afford a more beautiful home for our future family.

I have suggested bringing it forward and he doesn't want to but he has reassured me he doesn't want to push it back at all.