Immune/NK cells pred thread #32

[VenusStarr]

Hi everyone. The last thread is filling up. Have tried to tag everyone who posted on the last few pages, but feel free to join / tag anyone I missed.

@Gizmo1983
@fleur89
@Sunflower360
@MotherOfShihTzus
@lozzmax
@HopefulH
@kea1990
@Sprinkleofbabydust
@Newbeginnings22023
@star2022
@RumandSpinach
@Ems123456789
@MamaW05

Love to all ❤️

Thank you for sharing that @Gizmo1983 I'm so sorry that you went through that 😢 but I'm really glad you have been able to work through it.
I think you're on to something about him struggling to process what happened. My therapist thinks similar and that its rocked him as I've been a constant but then being so unwell and shut down - its scary for me to think about how close i was, but for him to see it and be quite helpless, its hard. I guess it's like a shock response. I found him looking after a plant that we got to remember our baby girl, so I do wonder if he is struggling but is worried to tell me in case it impacts on me. Things are a bit more normal but there's something 'there' - I have thought has he changed his mind about trying for a baby and can't tell me. He definitely doesn't believe treatment will work but how much is self preservation? 😓
A break would be good, we did go away at the weekend but it was to see friends, so late nights and very little time together really.

How you feeling about getting started?

When are you seeing Dr S @Newbeginnings22023 I forgot to say, nothing showed on the tests, but we later got dh to do the urine infection test and it showed ureaplasma, so tested me and I had it to. Not really sure why it didn't show in the biopsy though. We both took Doxycycline.

I definitely think a break from medication and treatment has helped me @Rainbowsunshine81 its a lot and its like you're on edge constantly.

Lots of love to everyone 💕 xx

@VenusStarr think a break from all of that will be good for myself and my body, give it a little rest. Hope you're OK ❤️ xx

@Rainbowsunshine81 I know what you mean about the costs. They keep piling up and the immune protocols certainly don’t help with that department. A payment plan sounds good, I’m glad your clinic can offer you this xx

@VenusStarr thanks for sharing this, I’ll look into it because DH has prostate issues so you just never know. My appointment with Dr S is on the 10th. Seeing the Tb specialist on the same day funnily enough.
Have you tried speaking to your DH or does he prefer to be left alone until he comes to you? My DH is certainly like that. I agree that a break with just the two of you is a great idea xx

@Gizmo1983 I’m sorry you went through that too, it’s really hard xx

@Newbeginnings22023 it's all money isn't it? I think having a payment plan will help if we do come to a decision. Hope you're OK. Xx

He definitely prefers to come to me, in hindsight, I did push the conversation earlier in the week and he said he'd been fine until I'd started asking questions. It's so hard when you know something is on their mind but they won't say.
It's useful to think about the other test @Newbeginnings22023 it's all just so expensive though. I think the urine test was something like £250 💰

@Rainbowsunshine81 I’m ok thank you. You’ll know when you’re ready xx

@VenusStarr that’s exactly what DH is like. He prefers to come to me, even if it takes days/weeks. It’s really hard because I like nipping things in the bud there and then, but this approach never works if he’s not ready to have a conversation.

The tests and treatments are all super expensive and sometimes you just have to draw the line I think. For me I’ll do what I can later in the year to transfer my last two embryos, then that’s it for me. Lots of hugs xx

@Newbeginnings22023 ❤️ I think I will know or I hope I do. Xx

Hi ladies so sorry I’ve been awol my poor granny has gone into emergency respite so been running round like a loon then had a bad migraine 🤦‍♀️. I’m so sorry everyone is having a rough time it’s just not fair is it it’s not just the getting pregnant it’s the toll that it takes on the rest of our lives. I think it’s easy to bury everything us and partners and then all of a sudden it all spills out and over. It’s so many emotions the heartbreak, anger, loss and for me not knowing the future and also how much money we are spending and it’s literally a gamble whether we will get anything in return for the absolute fortune it’s cost. No wonder we and our partners struggle and that’s without the usual stresses of everyday life. I am thinking of us all today and taking each day as it comes that’s how I’m getting through life at the minute.
im on day 3 of merriofert I believe it’s called so one injection a day not too bad so far but I know we are just at the beginning and have a long way to go. I have a scan on Friday and then we go from there I guess 😬😬😬. Much love to all thinking of us all and here’s to better times ahead xxx

I'm sorry to hear about your granny @Gizmo1983 ❤️
I hope you're feeling okon the meds, I've not done meriofert. Keeping everything crossed that you respond as expected 🙏

@Newbeginnings22023 it's hard isn't it? Things have been a bit better. I deleted my personal Facebook (just have a work one with no friends on it! 😅) and my sister said dh posted something - he was sharing a link to a charity linked to his industry about mental health. So think he is struggling to articulate his feelings.

I've woken up with a swollen eye - think it's a stye 😫 so painful. Feeling a bit run down too, so trying to take it easy today.

Lots of love ❤️ xx

@Gizmo1983 your words were perfect and meant so much, thanks for your wisdom. It is true that the whole process takes its toll on our mental health, relationships, work, everything. Really sorry to hear about your grandma. All the best with your cycle, you got this xx

@VenusStarr bless him, it’s his way of dealing with it all. I really do think most men struggle with articulating their feelings. All my friends say the same…

Sorry to hear you’re not feeling great today, hope you feel better asap. Tomorrow’s a new day xx

Hey @VenusStarr. I think that’s a great idea getting rid of fb quite fancy that myself. I keep thinking if this doesn’t work a total fresh start may be nice new house new area just start totally fresh although not sure if this counts as running away from problems but I think I would love it we are thinking of even getting a caravan and siting it just really fancy somewhere to escape to. Ugh sorry about the stye I used to get them and they can be soo painful.
don’t feel to much different on the meds I have to add another injection on Wednesday apparently this one makes the skin red and painful (fabulous) have first scan on Friday to see how things are going. Think I’m kind of in denial so far am preferring the injections to the opk testing I think I have ovulation test ptsd not even joking. Being almost 41 I know we are not going to get lots the dr estimates with my age and amh we will get about 8 so I guess we will find out soon enough. All being well egg collection will be a week on Wednesday xxx I’m really not getting my hopes up xxx

Good morning lovelies. Sorry I've been so quiet - have had a bit of a wild one. In the last 2 weeks I had Norovirus and I then took 2 pregnancy tests, which were both negative and I didn't feel pregnant at all but know that some of the meds can mask pregnancy symptoms. I just felt tired and a bit emotional. Then I took a third and it was positive. About 4 hours later I started bleeding. I went for an HCG test and it was really low and then the second HCG test confirmed ANOTHER chemical pregnancy. I’ve been feeling so down about the whole situation. I feel like I had unrealistic expectations that now the issue has been identified (high NK cells) and I’m undergoing treatment that everything would be ok. I’ve been off work for a few weeks and have been signed off for another 6 weeks but that’s causing stress too as they haven’t been supportive at all and sense things will only be worse when I return. I’m trying to find a new job whilst also dealing with all the meds and another chemical so feeling very stressed, which I know isn’t good for baby making.
I’m off to Epsom this afternoon for a review with Ms Edge (Prof S wasn’t available for another week) and to have intralipids for this cycle if no adjustments are needed to my treatment plan if anyone is there today?

@Rainbowsunshine81 I’m so sorry that May wasn’t our month - I was keeping everything crossed. @Newbeginnings22023 my partner has suggested taking some time off too so that I can focus on feeling happier and healthier but I’m just conscious that we said we’re only giving it until November so every month we take off feels like a step closer to it not happening for us.

@VenusStarr so sorry to hear what you and DH have been going through. How are you doing now? Have you talked about counselling? It does sound like he’s struggling in his own way. It’s really tough when your communication styles are different. I have this as I’m the open, chatty one and my partner struggles to articulate how he’s feeling. Sending you lots of love and hope the eye gets better.

@Gizmo1983 I think you just brilliantly put into words what we’re all feeling; thank you. So sorry to hear about your granny - sending lots of love. I don’t think focusing on a positive change is running away at all. It’s really important to still think of things that could bring you joy. We have decided that, if not successful by the end of the year (I’m 40 in October), then we’re going to use our remaining savings (whatever is left after 6 more cycles at the clinic) to buy a house with a garden and then look at adoption in a couple of years. Best of luck for the scan on Friday.

Holding on to so much hope for us all this month x

@Thornters I'm really sorry to hear what you have been going through 💘 I was trying to be hopeful.

Ladies I’m so pissed off. At my clinic to start meds all i literally had was a phone call telling me what meds to take. I’ve literally phoned 3 times as I was not confident in what I was doing. I phoned again today and turns out I was supposed to be injecting 2 vials of merriofeet not one so I’m 4 days in and only been having half a dose. I am absolutely furious I asked repeatedly and no one said to take 2 vials. Am literally In the car as they want to scan me to see if we need to abandon this cycle or not I can not say how angry I am. I literally asked them repeatedly as i thought it wasn’t right. Am just hoping so much we can somehow save the cycle but o doubt it 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

@Gizmo1983 that's so frustrating, I'm sorry to hear that. Feels particularly annoying when you're paying so much flipping money!! I hope you don't need to abandon this cycle 🤞🏼🤞🏼

Hi @Thornters thank you so much for your kind words, I love your future plans ❤️. I’ll be 41 in July so my time is running out rapidly I think we definitely have a think after these 3 cycles as to which direction we are going to go. I’m not ruling out donor eggs, hubby isn’t as keen as I am on that idea.
hey @Newbeginnings22023 thank you I think it just hit me the other day how much this all takes it’s toll and then I’ve had this stupid thing happen today I’m just soooooooo fed up.
awww thanks so much @lozzmax i just went into total panic when realised I had only been taking half the dose. I had asked the clinic a few times about meeting face to face so they could go through the meds rather than just a phone call and an app. At no point did they ever say that I needed to open 2 boxes and use 2 vials the written instructions only mentioned one vial as you say for the money it’s cost it’s just not good enough.
@VenusStarr hope you’re ok sweet
argh I’m so sorry for my earlier rant. They asked me to go for a scan at the clinic which I did he can see 3 follicles which is what he said he expected don’t know if I’ll grow more or that’s it and hope they are good quality ones I just was in such a state I didn’t ask. Good news the dr said we don’t have to cancel the cycle and he’s adjusted meds slightly. Yikes I hope I get more than 3 follicles but I guess if I don’t I don’t and just hope they are decent quality. I’ve got them to print my medication plan out on a piece of paper rather than over the phone with the amounts I need. Yikes fingers arms and legs crossed at this point not a great start. Much love to all ❤️I don’t drink but wish I could have a strong vodka and coke tonight lol xxx

@Thornters I’m so sorry to read about your chemical, I had my first in April. They are so cruel aren’t they I knew I was pregnant got a positive the next day had a day of being pregnant then i no longer felt pregnant and the line disappeared and I started bleeding. They just aren’t fair. Take your time to process things and I hope you got some answers at Epsom today cxx
@Rainbowsunshine81 how are you doing. Thinking of you xxx

@Gizmo1983 I'm doing OK, up and down a little. Started the withdrawal bleed yesterday and was in quite a bit of pain yesterday, eased off a bit today. Hope you're OK ❤️ xxx

@Rainbowsunshine81 bet you’ll be glad when the withdrawal bleed is over it kind of draws a line under things doesn’t it. Take care of yourself ❤️

@Gizmo1983 I definitely will be glad, that's what I was thinking. Thank you ❤️ hope you're OK ❤️

Frustrating morning for me, I stupidly tested 8DPO on Monday and got a faint positive. Official test day today and I assumed it would be a clear positive but no - three tests all BFN. Does that even count as a chemical, or just a false positive? As a side note, does anyone find HCG higher not in FMU? My positive on Monday was around 9am so probably 2nd or 3rd wee, and last time I was pregnant I got better results in the evenings. Trying to hold onto some hope!

Hey @lozzmax what dpo are you now? I’ve definitely seen people in the forums get stronger results on an evening than in the morning fingers crossed you take a test later and get a bfp we need some good news in this thread to make us all smile. Got everything crossed for you. Xxx

@Gizmo1983 I'm 10DPO today so it's my normal testing day. I definitely feel pregnant but then the progesterone makes me feel like that every month so it's not reliable. I'd just be so surprised to get traces of HCG at 8DPO and it not continue for at least another couple of days even if it is a chemical. Who knows though! My body likes to keep me guessing!

@Rainbowsunshine81 thank you lovely 😘

@Gizmo1983 so sorry about your April chemical pregnancy and sorry you had a rotten sounding day yesterday but hurrah that you don't have to miss a cycle because of the clinic's mistake.

@lozzmax this sounds similar to what I've just experienced. Are you able to go for an HCG blood test as this might give you a more conclusive answer? Personally mine are stronger in the morning (I use the Clearblue ultra early in words tests as I send myself barmy trying to line spot) but, like @Gizmo1983 , I've heard of others getting stronger later in the day. Keeping everything crossed for you 😍Definitely agree that we're due some good news in the group.

I saw Ms Silva Edge yesterday (first time meeting her and she was so lovely and exactly what I needed after a rotten couple of weeks) and she was also majorly confused by my positive and then negative results. She couldn't explain how I'd had 2 negative urine tests, followed by 2 positives but negative HCG tests on the same days as the urine tests are only supposed to detect at 10mIU and the HCG was 4.2. She's not sure if chemical or something strange happening with the tests but, as she couldn't be sure, she said she has no problem with us trying again this month. She's put me on hydroxychloroquine as an extra layer of defence. Anyone else on this and had tummy problems? Not to be too graphic but I've been running back and forth to the loo all morning since taking. I'm glad I'm at home today!

@Thornters 😘❤️