3dpo

[Ontheflipside_]

Anyone want to join? I'm going insane!! I'm not sure whether it's because it will be our last chance to have a baby in 2024 or that this is our 5th cycle so if AF comes it then marks half a year of trying, but I'm struggling this cycle. Need distraction! Lol

Morning @Plumchumm I totally get where you are coming from. I’ve been trying to remain positive but pregnancy after loss is so fricking tough. I’m aiming to test every other day as hcg can take 48-72 hrs to double/rise.

i tested yesterday and feel there is a slight progression? Panicked this morning as my HR on my Fitbit has dipped. Thinking of taking it off. Aware it could just be due to less caffeine and nicotine (was a vaper - now cold turkey) but my mind is racing that it means bad things. May just take Fitbit off.

My boobs are sore and I’m really tired. Been going to sleep about 8/9pm! Constantly squeezing my boobs to see if they are still sore. I’m a mad woman ….

@Plumchumm have you got any Frer? I find them easier to check progression. The CB ones I found fade so easily x

It must be really hard to stay positive, that's been my biggest worry if I'd have had a BFP...can you get a blood test or book in for a 6 week scan? Sending lots of positive thoughts for your tiny little ones 🥰 and handholds for you to help you relax xx

Thank you @Hopethisendswell. I’m holding off booking a private scan for now. Only because I had last time then had to cancel. Plus I think I’m actually a week behind what is estimated from my LMP as I didn’t ovulate until week 3 I think.

So plan is to hold off (if I can) until I’m 8/9 weeks based on LMP so may measure 7/8 weeks on a scan.

Don’t want to go too early in case they can’t see anything which will make me panic more !

That's a wise thing to do. We'll be here the whole time 💕

@ToeBeans24 It would be interesting to try a clearblue digital to see what their estimate is in terms of number of weeks.

Love seeing the BFPs from our thread girls!

@ToeBeans24 I do that with my boobs too lol it’s the only thing keeping me a bit reassured when I can feel them sore as with my mc the day I miscarried, my boobs were not sore at all anymore.

definitely take the Fitbit off, I’ve stopped BBT’ing too because I did a few more readings and I had to get up earlier as I did shift work so it was different but it freaked me out.

im gonna make sure to try and test with just fmu for now. If all goes well fingers crossed I will try to book for a 6 week scan.

frers look good but so expensive hahah xx

thank you @Hopethisendswell and @sirensong it’s so helpful to have you guys support honestly 😭❤️ Are youse trying again next cycle? How’s things going with everyone?

I may do one next week. Have a bit of PTSD after doing one last time and going from 1-2 weeks to not pregnant before bleeding started x

Yesterday I did a clear blue digital, I got pregnant 1-2 weeks. About an hour or so later I started bleeding. Have been in hospital all night and have confirmed I had a miscarriage… again. I hope you have better luck :(

Oh @Plumchumm im so, so sorry 😔 here if you need to talk. Be kind to yourself and know this isn’t your fault. Take the time you need to grieve, be angry or upset. Whatever you need xx

@Plumchumm so sorry xxx

I hope you weren't in pain and had kind staff dealing with you.

@Plumchumm gosh I’m so sorry, it’s the worst ever feeling. Can’t really say anything to make it better, this process can be so cruel! Take all the time you need and look after yourself xx

Sorry I’ve been a bit absent on here. Have been trying to give my brain a break from the process but obviously I’m now CD12 so very close to kicking off again.

It has been awful but the worst thing is all the doctors told me ‘I did not have a miscarriage and that I just got my period.’ Even though I showed them the digital tests and the several other tests that had strong lines on them. He said ‘they weren’t able to see any sign of miscarriage in the ultrasound’ - why would they? It was early.

then he said ‘yes I don’t know how to explain the tests, academically it could be a very early miscarriage but…’ in other words, I’m crazy.

i feel so gaslit and mistreated, and he isn’t even the only staff member to look at me like I have two heads and tell me ‘so you’re in the hospital because you’re having a period.’ I’m almost 30, I know what a fucking period is.

they then said ‘either way it doesn’t affect the next steps, which are to contact your gp to refer you to the fertility clinic.’ I said I did, in July last year, and they haven’t seen me since. He checked the system and the gp had actually referred me for ‘pcos’ and not infertility so I’ve been waiting a year for some stupid error someone did - even though I was talking to my doctor about sperm analysis and difficulty conceiving. I’m just in absolute shock.

@Plumchumm That is all incredibly frustrating and upsetting. The doctors in A&E are often very junior and don't necessarily know much about gynaecology, especially if that wasn't one of their rotations. Have they been able to correct your referral or does that have to go back through your GP?

What a nightmare! Absolutely awful that they made you feel that way. Appreciate they might deal with worse, but a little bit of empathy goes a long way! Honestly the amount of people I know who are left waiting and waiting in their fertility journeys because someone has forgotten/lost records/human error etc. It's like you have to endlessly chase things up or they just won't get done.

Sorry I know you've probably already said but have you suffered a loss before?

Crickey @Plumchumm just not how anyone deserves to be treated let alone someone going through a loss. I work in health care and I strongly suggest when you feel able to, you or your partner (or someone close) makes a formal complaint via PALs. It won’t undue how you were treated but could hopefully prevent it from happening again.

Im so sorry you’re going through this

Oh @Plumchumm I'm so so sorry to hear about your loss, wish we could be there in person to give you a massive hug and a shoulder to cry on 😔 (and to tell that doctor where to go!).

@Plumchumm I'm so sorry, what an awful experience ☹️ Sending you massive hugs through the screen. Take some time to feel everything that you're feeling and look after yourself 💕

@Plumchumm oh my gosh, I’m so incredibly sorry that you’re going through this. My heart breaks for you- how you have been treated is utterly awful. A loss is a loss, no matter how short a time it was. The hope and the vision of the future happens as soon as you get that positive I’m sure. Please take care of yourself and we’re all here for you if you need us 💔

@sirensong @Sarah268 @ToeBeans24 @Hopethisendswell @YorkshirePeridot @MissEmily5

thank you ladies, i really appreciate the support <3 it was a bit rough, but i'm grateful for my partner as he's very supportive and wants to be a dad so much, so he has been very involved and caring.

It is my second loss, and I feel for everyone who is struggling with infertility bc it really hit me last night how fraught it can all be, how nothing is guaranteed, when we grew up thinking it was so straight forward. but it's also really amazing how much we are all fighting to be mothers, there is something special about that journey and i wish you all lots of baby dust <3

I will have to go back to the gp to say and ask them if they can somehow escalate the process because of this error. I hope they will take it seriously, I am keeping my chin up and will keep trying. It's very easy after things like this to start believing that it's not meant for me, but I know many women have been in my position before and suffered even more losses, so if they can then i'm gonna keep hope xx

@Plumchumm you are so inspiring and it ABSOLUTELY is meant for you. I know me being where I am it’s easy for me to say. But a week or 2 before my bfp I was creating posts on here about being so down and needing help. Feeling like it will never happen.

Pregnancy after loss is challenging. But as you put it - we are all fighting and strong Mothers and we can do whatever is put in front of us to bring a baby home.

We are all here for you. Use this group as a way to rant / seek support or note how you’re feeling anytime.

Sending big hugs. You are so brave. And you can do this and will get your rainbow 🌈 x

Sorry all just catching up, needed a wee break.

@Plumchumm I'm so sorry for your loss! And as everyone else has said, the way you were treated is absolutely awful!! You do not deserve to be made to feel like that. You're entitled to feel however you want. Who are other people to tell us what level of grief we should feel with things that happen TO US!! Sending huge hugs xx

Welcome back @Ontheflipside_ ! How are you doing?

how is everyone else? X

Thanks @ToeBeans24 I am okay thank you! Not sure if I said but 3 days after my period finished I started bleeding again. So I decided to contact my GP and just say my periods are not irregular, my cycles change lengths, I've had months of anovulation, luteal period changes lengths each month etc and they called me in the next day for blood tests, I have an ultrasound next week and my husband is having a sperm analysis. I was really shocked as this is our 7th month (I think!!) trying so fully expected them to tell me to calm down until it has been at least 1 year.

Weirdly though I now feel much more relaxed about the whole thing. And I got a peak on my ovulation today so at least I ovulated. I'll be really interested when they scan me next week so see how thick my lining is. Because last month it was 7mm at day 16 and this month should be day 25 so hopefully thicker than 7!

How are you feeling?