CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #3

[Ladyinpink1]

I went to reply and you were right, the thread was full so I couldnt post a link to a new thread, also, because it's a new thread it wont give me a prediction to tag when I type a name, so I have just copied and paste the names off of everyone who posted on the very last page of the thread, I hope anyone else can find it OK. Sorry, maybe there is an easier better way... if anyone else can remember extra names and spellings, please tag 🙂

@samilicious

@Wise0wl

@ThelastRolo20

@13lucy

@Bugdem123

@HerbaceousPerennial

@samilicious how are you doing? I know you said you were feeling quite anxious. My plan for when I become pregnant again is to say to myself each day 'today I am pregnant' and focus on each day as it comes. Last time I started planning everything but I'm not doing that until after I've had the blood test results after 12 week scan. Sorry to be a massive pain, but I wondered if it was possible for you to post a list of all the supplements both you and DH have been taking and where you get them from/link? I find looking for stuff online so overwhelming and after looking at all the different options for an hour just don't end up getting anything.

@Mummysparrow since my MC I have got my period on 12th day of luteal phase, but last couple months it's been 13th day so hopefully that means it's getting more back to normal.

@Ladyinpink1 I'm due on today. Just waiting for it to arrive now. Last month I was one day late which made me hopeful, but I'm trying to focus on the positives that even if it's late and it still shows up at least my cycle is getting longer and more back to normal/how it was pre-MC.

Just came on, so CD1 for me today. At least my cycles are getting marginally longer each time.

@moosey89 sorry to hear that your period hasn't arrived - I hope it arrives for you soon so you can move on to a new cycle. It's horrible being in limbo!

@UrsulaSings123 sounds like your cycles are quite similar to how mine were after my first miscarriage with shorter luteal phase and light periods but it didn't stop me conceiving. No idea what they will be like this time round. Holding onto some hope that I could conceive without a period, although I know it's unlikely.

Hope everyone else is doing ok?

I'm CD22 after ovulation and looks like I'll ovulate in the next day or so and we are TTC straight away. Last week I was still testing positive for HCG which was hard to take, but this week it's negative so I feel a bit better about things.

I feel like I've recovered much quicker this time, both physically and mentally but still can't believe I'm going through this a second time round. It's definitely helped me being open and honest with others about what I've been through and still going through - a huge weight off my shoulders. I'm seeing a consultant who specialises in recurrent miscarriage tomorrow so hoping to get a plan in place and it makes me feel like I'm doing everything I can in terms of the things I can control. Exhausting (and expensive) this TTC/recurrent miscarriage journey!

@13lucy thank you that's reassuring. They do seem to be getting longer cycles with slightly heavier flow, but still much lighter and shorter than they used to be.

Hope your appointment goes OK tomorrow. I am having a scan on Monday to check everything OK due to my cycles being shorter and lighter. I don't think they'd be able to see much though even if there was scarring or anything. Hopefully just give me some peace of mind everything is OK. As we have been away my DP still hasn't sorted out his semen analysis so will get that sorted ASAP when we get back next week. He takes citalapram and I suspect he will need to reduce his dose.

@13lucy I’m glad you feel you’re recovering more quickly this time round - I’ve found that too albeit obviously still upsetting etc. I’m feeling pretty cheerful at the moment which is nice, I think mostly because I’m finally out of the depths of various illnesses which have felt back to back since the miscarriage. Waiting on ovulation and trying not to get my hopes up that it might as aware it could still be a long journey to another BFP, never mind an actual baby! Really glad you’ve got your negative too, that’s a big milestone.

@UrsulaSings123 sorry AF has shown up but at least as you say each cycle is an improvement and step in the right direction. How are you feeling?

@13lucy it arrived yesterday 🥳

Even better, I got booked in for my HSG next week, only my second time phoning (as you have to phone day 1 of your cycle) and apparently it usually takes 3 or 4 cycles to find a free appointment so all in all, a good day!

Plus I've been working at an event for the last 3 days which was really good fun with great people. Feeling so much better today ☺️ x

@moosey89 that's great you could get booked in so quickly. Is that with a recurrent miscarriage clinic?

I am sat in the oceanarium cafe and seen 3 newborn babies and 2 pregnant women who seem at a similar stage as I would have been. Really struggling to maintain a happy mood and enjoy the day 😥

@UrsulaSings123 this is the fertility clinic (not only do I have recurrent miscarriage but it takes a long time to get pregnant so got referred to both!). I've been seen by the recurrent miscarriage clinic and they couldn't find anything wrong. My GP has done a second miscarriage clinic referral to Dr Shehata who is a specialist in reproductive immunology (which most hospitals don't have) so I'm hoping to see him at some point too! It's a long wait list so I imagine it'll be towards the end of the year at the earliest for that one.

Today I had an internal ultrasound for the fertility clinic and got to see a 3D ultrasound of the inside of my uterus which was fascinating! And apparently all normal 😅

I always struggle a bit at the hospital too because of all the pregnant ladies (antenatal is a few doors down from radiology).

@Mummysparrow I was taking 400mg coq10 as ubiqinol in two 200mg doses, each with a meal. Also NAC, 800mg folate and an Inessa multivitamin which contained some myoinositol (didn't realise they was in there until after!). I read It Starts With The Egg and found that really helpful. It might mention high prolactin in there, worth a read and the ladies here recommended another book recently too

@UrsulaSings123 I e never conceived while tracking, it must just stress me out too much. The more I focus on life and being happy / going out with friends the easier I seem to conceive. Forgetting about it is the hardest part though 😅 especially with all the bloody vitamins. Brilliant news about your cycles increasing, always a good sign! Progress to keep us going

@Ladyinpink1 my book said that taking more tbh an 200mg in one dose doesn't work very well, so maybe take two doses of it, each with a meal? The extra might not absorb but saves you buying different ones. How much is in each folate capsule? I was on 800mg by the end (all in one go fine apparently). My wee was so green all the time when I upped doses 😂

@13lucy so happy you're recovering quickly this time, your body knows it's time to go again! Hope your appointment went ok

@moosey89 great news AF arrived and you had a lovely time at the event! The immunology referral sounds brilliant - if that's something that's a contender there's a Katherine Ryan podcast episode where she talks about everything she did to combat autoimmune impacts on pregnancy which caused previous losses: shows.acast.com/katherine-ryan-telling-everybody-everything/episodes/meaningful-loads

Time goes sooo slowly when you're waiting doesn't it 😅 one more week to go and I can book an EPU scan and NIPT. Hope I make it that long 🤞🏻 planned a busy week to distract me. Including a job interview Wednesday!

@moosey89 so glad AF has arrived! A new chapter can start now. Great you’ve got booked in for your HSG and glad you’ve had a good work event too. Good to have a plan in place - I might have mentioned before so apologies but Prof Reagan had some interesting stats that even just being monitored/looked after by a clinic can hugely increase chances of a healthy pregnancy, even with no intervention. So fingers crossed even if they don’t find anything it may help. Yeah I don’t love how close the clinics are - ours is go left for a baby, right for a miscarriage. But at least the miscarriage bit is totally separate with its own waiting room.

@UrsulaSings123 I’m sorry you’ve been struggling. It is really tough seeing folk who have what you so desperately want. I have found it’s got a bit easier with time, still a twinge but less heart rending. I’m a big believer in just leaning in to how you’re feeling and letting it wash over you, I think it’s healthier to just feel the crap feelings and have a bit of a wallow than trying to push them away. But it’s very hard. I just think of it as necessary processing. Don’t know if that’s any help at all but you’re not alone

@samilicious im going to have a listen to that Katherine Ryan podcast! I think she’s great anyway and who knows, maybe some useful tips. The waiting must be killing you, I found it really hard. That’s great news on the interview though, good luck for Wednesday! Is it a job you’re excited about or just needs must?

I’m feeling queasy last two mornings and having some spotting - not pregnant so assuming some sort of hormonal upset related to the miscarriage 🤦🏻‍♀️ not looking good for this cycle but I actually feel quite calm about it. I can’t do anything so just trying to be kind to my body while it sorts itself out.

Just went to the toilet and had a slight bit of blood, so hoping this means my period is about to start! Never thought I would be so excited to have a period but it means I can start tracking and trying again after the TFMR
@samilicious oh that's interesting to know. I have been taking a lot less coq10 as there is only 20mg in pregnacare and I have some 100mg tablets that I bought earlier this year before I realised I was already pregnant so I may add that in. I may up my folic acid too especially after having a pregnancy with chromosomal abnormalities.

@Mummysparrow yes according to the Gap we are young, and who are we to argu with a medical professional lol.
It's such a stress isn't it.. as you said, your chances of that again are not high, everything to do with ttc is a stress!
I don't know what caused either of mine, but since the last one I have been taking coq10 and other new supplements that are all meant to work on the eggs so that you have a better chance from the start, also trying to add better things into my diet to help, hoping if I am fortunate enough to fall pregnant again that it all helps. x

@UrsulaSings123 I'm sorry af has arrived but glad your cycles are a better length. Are you going to do anything different this cycle? Will you track? X

Glad you are feeling better @moosey89 and that af has arrived. That's great you have tests lined up already, hope all goes well with them x

OK, thank you @samilicious it's 1000ug, not sure what that is in another measurement, it's folate so a different form of Folic acid... I think it's like the ubiquinol of coq10 easier to absorb etc but I will try to find out. That's great you have some steps ahead and milestones to focus on. Hope you are still feeling good x

@Ladyinpink1 it's nice to be described as young 😂 I don't always feel it especially as I have a 3 year old to chase around 😵‍💫
I did a hertility fertility check at the beginning of the year which showed I have a good egg reserve for my age but after having had to have a TFMR it just makes me concerned about the quality of the eggs. I have a mixed quality diet, I get a good amount of protein and fibre in but not prepared to lose alcohol whilst not pregnant as pregnancy is a long time to have no alcohol and I only have 2 glasses of wine a week (only at the weekend) so it isn't like I drink loads and I have already done 3 months sober this year. I also like my carbs 😂 slowly getting back into the gym now I am physically recovering from the pregnancy.

@samilicious how much NAC were you taking? What was your DH taking? That's great about the job interview! Fingers crossed for you.

@moosey89 I've heard of Dr Shehata, hope you don't have to wait too long. I have my scan on Monday, I have a more unusually shaped uterus though so I'm not sure how much they'll be able to see as they always say it's difficult to see.

@HerbaceousPerennial thank you. I think I'd feel much better if I was already pregnant. The sadness around the MC gets linked up in sadness around the difficulties TTC. Just want it all to be over and to never have to think about TTC again. Have you felt less queasy in the evenings? Do you feel sick quite easily? I'm quite a sicky person so feel sick if I get too hungry or tired.

@Ladyinpink1 I'm going to start taking more supplements. Also get the sperm analysis organised. Got my day 19 blood test booked. And once we're home on Monday I'm going to start eating a much healthier mediterranean type diet with more exercise. My diet has been awful this holiday! I think I'll still do OPK's. I don't tend to find them stressful though, if anything I enjoy doing them which sounds weird lol. But my cycle seems to be very regular so there's no stress about whether I have/havent/when I've ovulated (so far). Although there's no real need for me to because I always ovulate CD12. What things have you added into your diet to help with fertility? I signed up to noom to help me stay on track.

Does anyone take DHEA? A fertility Dr (friend of a friend) suggested taking it alongside COQ10.

@UrsulaSings123 hopefully it gives you some reassurance at least, especially if your lining is the right thickness. I can't remember what type of surgery you said you had but if it's an MVA the risk is very small. I totally relate with the feeling you get when you see pregnant women/babies. I'm really worried about a family member due twins later this year. I don't think I will want to see them until I'm pregnant again and I feel bad for feeling like that. Dreading Xmas which is the only time we would usually see them.

@HerbaceousPerennial thank you - still hits me like a ton of bricks at times. I've just ovulated which is positive. I really feel for you with the irregular cycles!

@moosey89 great that AF has arrived and you can start to look forward. We looked at going to see Dr Shehata privately but looked very all or nothing so would have worked out expensive when paying and you can't TTC for 3 months whilst it's all being investigated. If money was no object I'd go there if I get to the point of an NHS referral. Pretty sure he's the one that Katherine Ryan saw.

The private consultation was useful but didn't learn anything new really. She didn't think anything was of concern but suggested APS test and AMH (with scan to count folicles) and semen analysis to check egg/sperm quality. Planning to ask my GP for APS and semen testing. Has anyone had APS testing as she seemed to say we wouldn't be able to TTC until we get the results in case it's positive. For the semen analysis has anyone else been offered it by GP after 2 miscarriages? Would be about 1k privately so hoping to get some done on the NHS.

They also offer a package for next time round which would mean regular scans, progesterone and consultant support which again sounded amazing if money was no object. I think EPU will support next time so will wait until I get to that point to see what they will offer.

@13lucy that’s great you’ve ovulated! I’ve still no idea 😂 I think not yet though. My GP did APS testing for me. Basically your levels go up when you’re pregnant anyway (I can’t remember why but from memory they are supposed to, it’s why it’s important not to take aspirin unless they’ve specifically told you to) so if it’s too close to your miscarriage, or you’re pregnant, you get a false positive. It’s a weird one to diagnose as levels can be high and it not be a problem - I think if they’re over a certain threshold they then do a second test 6 weeks later to check it’s not just been a one off. They also then assess for symptoms etc I think rather than just the bloods. I think different people can have different levels too. My first test was fine though so I never got further down the track. I never had AMH tested but I know it’s important to assess egg reserve for IVF, but I think inconclusive whether it’s helpful for natural conception I.e. you can have a ‘poor’ level and it doesn’t necessarily affect ability to get/stay pregnant. I don’t know about semen analysis I’m afraid. The support package sounds lovely though, I’m slightly tempted to see if that’s offered near me. Is it mad expensive? Off to have a little google…

@UrsulaSings123 yeah i suffer with travel sickness and used to get really queasy around periods as a teenager, I think the PCOS kicks it off quite often and I’m pretty susceptible anyway. I had a bug about ten days ago and I suspect my system is still not 100%. So a combination really! Totally empathise on the just wanting to be pregnant again, although I suspect I will be a nightmare if/when I am again. Poor DH got an earful last night about how I feel like my whole life is in a holding pattern and how much I feel two pregnancies and two miscarriages has disturbed my ability to do well at work too. Do the doctors think your uterine shape is affecting your ability to get/stay pregnant or does it just make things a bit trickier to see? Hope just the latter!

@HerbaceousPerennial that's helpful to know, thank you! Going to make a case to my GP about APS testing just to rule it out. Did your GP just offer it or did you have to ask for it? Wondering how to best go about it I haven't had the costs for the support package but will let you know. I think it would be beneficial to have consultant led care next time just to reduce my anxiety! Hope ovulation arrives soon!

@HerbaceousPerennial it's a decent job, salary a bit shy of what I was hoping. I just want something pretty chill for the next few years, nothing too high pressure or involving much travel. Fingers crossed! The waiting really is killing me, feels like time is dragging on. Been up a&e and SAU a lot last few days panicking about potential ectopic but been scanned and it's not, but they couldn't confirm viability so having another scan in 2 weeks. Hope they don't drag as much as the last two have. Being kind to yourself definitely sounds good! Is there anything you have planned or fancy for a nice treat?

@Mummysparrow that was my thinking about having the same - T13 for me. It says it takes 3-6 months to have an impact on eggs and I conceived 2 months in so hoping it still had some impact. The pic is the full protocol for recurrent loss in the book - didn't mention chromosomal abnormalities specifically but said they were responsible for most miscarriages so thought it still applied. Also I drank about twice a week in my recent conception month and have been avoiding drink before then, even though experts warn off it

@Ladyinpink1 think folate is the best one isn't it? This is what I found online about the coq10 thing (blue writing)

@UrsulaSings123 they mention DHEA in that book, but say you need to keep getting your levels tested to make sure you're not getting too much. 600 NAC - posted the list from the book again below. DH took a lot of weird supplements for his stomach but nothing for ttc despite various big rows 🙃

@13lucy we got semen analysis done after a year or so of not being able to conceive - friends had it done after one loss and long time ttc. Definitely push!

@13lucy honestly I can’t quite remember, my GP is a women’s health specialist so she was quite au fait with everything. But I did start out by telling her that the Tommy’s midwives had recommended some tests and so I had possibly mentioned it up front first. No signs of ovulation for me yet, so either it was early and I missed it, or it’s even more delayed than normal. I’m feeling fairly calm about it to be honest, but it seems such a mad idea now that I’ll ever have a baby so that’s maybe why!

@samilicious oh gosh, this sounds a very stressful start to things. I’m very glad it’s not ectopic though. Honestly I found the start of my last pregnancy very difficult, I feel for you. It’s not easy either emotionally or physically. Great you’ve got an interview - shame about the pay but I agree about needing the job to just be manageable for the next while. Good luck! One of the many things I’m struggling with on this long journey to a baby is that it feels like it’s stunting my career a bit as I want my career to fit round my home life for a while, rather than going for promotion etc. I can’t be bothered with it all until I’ve got this bit sorted out!

@samilicious thank you for posting that list.

I've just spent about 2 hours looking at vitimins and I still don't know what the fuck to do. Those pregnancy multivitimins contain nowhere near the recommended doses in that book. It seems like you'd have to buy everything separately and that is just going to get so expensive and be so confusing.

@HerbaceousPerennial it's a normal variation apparently so just makes it more difficult to see but totally fine. He could see fine though apparently.

@13lucythanks I went on day 5 of my cycle and I wish I'd gone after ovulation as the lining was 3mm which is normal apparently but that's the thinnest part of the cycle, so I'm still not sure whether it's building up properly in the latter half of the cycle. And in my area you can self refer for semen analysis by calling the andrology department at the hospital directly. Was quite surprised you could do that!

I had a letter whilst I was away to say that the 'shared burial' is tomorrow. They do a funeral and have a casket that contains all the miscarried babies from around the time I miscarried. You can choose not to go and it'll still go ahead but I have swapped my work days this week and am going tomorrow. It will be incredibly sad but I know I'd regret it if I didn't go. Feeling very sad this week.

@samilicious sorry, I get a bit overwhelmed with replying to all the messages I often forget to reply to everything! Glad that everything is OK at the moment. I know I was worried about ectopic which is why I had that first scan with EPU in which they couldn't say if it was viable or not. Such early days for you though so I'm sure the little bean is growing OK. Time draggggggs so much when you're waiting for something.

@HerbaceousPerennial I know what you mean about it affecting your career. If I wasn't TTC I would definitely be looking at moving jobs and even going self employed but no way am I doing that at the moment!

@HerbaceousPerennial good that you're feeling calm about it. I think our mindset is so powerful in trying to make it all feel a bit more bearable but I'm struggling with it! Sounds like your GP is really supportive. Both the consultant and Tommy's said they can't test for APS unless I'm 12 weeks post miscarriage. So I think I'm going to wait and see what happens between now and then. If by then we aren't pregnant then we will go with the expensive tests privately. I also know what you mean about the career - all my focus is now on stress reduction so I'm not sure I want to go any further up the ladder now.

@UrsulaSings123 sorry to hear you're having a tough time. I hope you get some closure from the burial and if you need support then we are here for you. Will other people be there? That's good with being able to self refer to things. Everything seems so locked up down here.

I was referred to specialist mental health support for baby loss and received a message yesterday to say there's a 6 month waiting list. I find that so shocking when it has such a profound affect on our health and our lives. Some days I find it hard to be in my body - over analysing everything, feeling like a failure and blaming myself.

I have ditched the temping now I'm in my luteal phase to try and relax in the 2ww but now worried I might be missing something 😂

CD7 for me today - got my HSG tomorrow which I'm a bit nervous around as it can be quite painful for a lot of women. But apparently it also can help improve fertility as it 'clears things out' so I guess on balance it'll be worth it, as it's something we are yet to try!

Well after thinking period was starting last week, it just spotted on off for days and finally started today but it is a bit on the light side, lighter then my usual periods so not sure if this is it or whether it will get heavier. I am not sure I ovulated last month so wondering if that has affected it. I am thinking I will still count it as cd1.
I had my baby loss counselling triage session yesterday and my hospital will pay for 5 sessions which will start probably next month. I am also restarting private therapy sessions (I used to do them for stress related) this a week as I have dealt with a lot this year so thought it would be a good time to make sure I am not just bottling it all up