CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #3

[Ladyinpink1]

I went to reply and you were right, the thread was full so I couldnt post a link to a new thread, also, because it's a new thread it wont give me a prediction to tag when I type a name, so I have just copied and paste the names off of everyone who posted on the very last page of the thread, I hope anyone else can find it OK. Sorry, maybe there is an easier better way... if anyone else can remember extra names and spellings, please tag 🙂

@samilicious

@Wise0wl

@ThelastRolo20

@13lucy

@Bugdem123

@HerbaceousPerennial

@Ladyinpink1 bloody first response, I’m sorry it’s been messing with you. I swear by the cheapies too, I quite like that they only show up slightly later. Last time I only got a BFP two days after my key symptom started. How are you feeling? It’s so shit, sending hugs. I’m doing ok, I think I might have ovulated at some point over the weekend, right timelines and I did get a dark line on an OPK and it seems to have come back down. However I get LH peaks all over the shop so doesn’t equal ovulation! We’ll see. Not going anywhere this year at the moment as my passport has expired so need to sort that out!

@samilicious are you doing 2 miles a day on average through June, or a couple of big blocks? What’s your game plan? I’m very impressed, I will check out the Tommy’s website. Both china scams were taxi ones, first one was a fake taxi and we genuinely thought he might kill us when we realised (he was actually very nice with hindsight, just overcharged us and wasn’t licensed), second one pretended our money was fake so we kept handing notes over and he was switching them for counterfeits and getting cross we couldn’t ‘pay’. Most of our taxi drivers were lovely though! I’m trying really hard to stay chilled about TTC, I think having very limited knowledge of when I ovulate is helpful on that front. I am following my plan to do loads of nice things too, and I know this sounds counterintuitive but I’m actually trying to imagine life with just DS and thinking about how I want my life to look if we don’t manage to have another one. I need to know I will be ok if it doesn’t happen. Actually addressing that is helping me be calmer about TTC. Some of the time anyway!

@HerbaceousPerennial I'm trying to do 3 miles a day between walking the dog and going on the treadmill for 5 days a week, then having the weekend off. Managed just over 6 so far. Hope I can keep it up - great at starting stuff, not so much finishing 😂 that's crazy that you got scammed like that and mega scary! Doesn't sound counterintuitive, totally makes sense. Then anything else is a blessing. I'd love to get to that point, feel like ttc affects mood and brings the family down sometimes then get all the guilt. I tell myself that, that that's what I want to do, but my mind always ends up back on the ttc track. Any tips that have helped you switch it off? 😅

@samilicious ha I’m not good at finishing stuff either! I am filled with good intentions but I get bored quickly. I am rooting for you for June. We can just peer pressure you from afar 😂 on the acceptance thing, it’s definitely a work in progress and it probably doesn’t really count because I really I believe we’ll have another at some point. But I’m thinking about all the good stuff we can do which is much easier with one child - so I’m imagining us going on great holidays to Asia with DS, dinners out more etc which would be harder/couldn’t afford if we had two. Grandparents likely to take one child for longer than they could cope with two so DS can have a holiday with them and DH and I can go on city breaks just us. Imagining us buying a smaller house but in a better area. Not necessarily realistic but nice! The big thing which has helped a lot is I have a friend who can’t have children and she’s opened up a lot to me about how hard that was and how lonely, but she’s worked through that now and she loves her life. It’s not the same I know but I’ve got a blueprint for how to move past a massive disappointment where your life doesn’t look how you thought it would. She’s been so supportive and generous helping me. Also probably helps that most people I know with two are struggling a bit at the moment so I can see the advantage of one. I know what you mean about it taking over family life though, DH gets quite impatient with me to be honest. I think because he is relatively sanguine about it all. I am striving to be more like that.

Also I think DS operation changed my perspective significantly. I was so afraid, all I wanted was for us to have our lives back to normal. It’s not a method I’d recommend!

@Ladyinpink1 you can bill me for counselling now! Sorry, that was a hell of an offload!

Hey @Ladyinpink1 how are you doing? Did you retest?

@HerbaceousPerennial all peer pressure gratefully accepted! On 14.5 today and going to walk into the town/village centre to get burgers so that seems like a good healthy balance 😂 your tips about embracing the now and planning stuff around your existing lovely family dynamic has inspired me loads - thank you. I'm striving to be the same! How are you doing?

@emmatcc1 did you ever get any answers?

Sorry for radio silence - wrote a response twice and accidentally deleted it 😅

@samilicious all good here thanks, had the strange thirst which I always get when I’m pregnant last night but BFN when I tested this morning. So putting it down to all the olives I ate last night before bed! Mildly disappointed but pretty ok. Was out this afternoon and found myself staring like a mad woman at the lady at the next table breastfeeding but maintained a very thin veneer of calm and normality so that and the lack of a meltdown over the BFN feels like personal growth 😂 14.5 sounds fab, quarter of the way there! The walk definitely earns the burgers, plus obviously red meat full of important nutrients like iron and B vitamins so it’s all good! How are you feeling? Any news on your scan? Hope you’ve had a good Saturday

So here is the response I typed but never got around to finishing or sending yesterday....

"""So sorry I have been awol guys, I thought it was ok but then I felt all confused, horrible and then sad after that false positive. I am def not testing next cycle. "" anyways I'm back and going to be slightly more sensible this cycle... I think

@samilicious Interesting that it can take 3 months for the changes to take effect, hopefully they take effect soon then 🙂! What have you done so far, making changes I mean.. I know you are exercising more and eating better, what supplements are you taking now?
That's a good idea to be enjoying the summer and not thinking of ttc things, I'm so rubbish at not thinking of things, the more I try not to the more I do lol.
Ooh lovely, burgers sound good, I have been bad today and yesterday I had a chineese, will get back to being good on Monday 😇 x

@HerbaceousPerennial lol your bill is in the post ha ha. Let's just call it even now.
I know what you mean, I have tried to imagine a life with just the 4 of us and how my dc are getting older and easier all the time and so day trips, holidays, everything will be easier but at the same time that's a tiny percent of my brain thinking that way, I guess to sort of safeguard my mind if things don't happen then I have that thought to fall back on. Is that kind of what you have done too? Aw, sorry about the bfn, I hope it's just too early. I know what you mean, it makes my heart hurt with the longing to be pregnant when I see others who are.
imagine how much we are all going to appreciate it when we do get our bfp and our babies 👶 🥰 x

@Ladyinpink1 so glad to hear from you and that you're ok. Sounds horrible but def totally normal to feel fine then suddenly not be. I only ever used the tests that shall not be named from here on before I got mine. Now I'll never use them again. Yeah eating healthier, doing this Tommys challenge to up my step count every day then will try and keep it up after too, tracking bbt in a relaxed way with this watch. Taking a multivitamin, 800mg of folate total (multi vitamin plus extra folate as top up), NAC, COQ10 as Ubiquinol x 2 with every meal (in reality I only remember twice a day, but that should be fine), Omega 3. Really need to get vitamin d as well but just trying to spend as much time outside as possible, even if it's not that warm 😂 with arms and face out. I'll be sat there like one of those leathery skin old people from Benidorm with a reflector at this rate 😂 and just making plans for the future as plan b and c taking a leaf out of herb's book. I think having something new each cycle is good to keep it interesting 🤪

@samilicious that all sounds like great steps in the right direction. Can I ask what NAC you are taking, I went on Amazon to look and was overwhelmed with choice, is it only for pcos or beneficial to anyone ttc?
Also I have been taking coq10 ubiquinone but was reading the one you said... ubiquinol is better to take as it's already in it's absorbable form, again overwhelmed by choice and not prepared to pay crazy money, I did find one on Amazon that's 1000mg! But a really good price, not sure if that's too high. Sorry for all the pharmacist questions lol
How are you finding the bbt watc, does it seem accurate? I bet it's way more relaxing x

@Ladyinpink1 I'm sorry it’s been so tough, this whole TTC journey is just such an emotional rollercoaster. What’s NAC? I had my blood tests on Friday so waiting to hear from the doctor, hopefully everything is fine. I’m just taking a multivitamin until I have some more answers from the doctor. I tested again this morning as had the thirst again last night but still nothing. I’m torn between thinking it’s just too early and (the realistic side of me) knowing that I’m probably just dehydrated and/or hormonal for another reason. Trying to resist the urge to keep testing!

@samilicious the watch sounds good, how are you finding it? BBT is another thing which apparently doesn’t work with PCOS 🙄 it’s probably a good thing for me. I can feel the obsessive side of me ramping up. Got to keep focusing on my plans and trying to stay calm. Hope the burgers were good and you got loads of steps in today

@Ladyinpink1 it was listed on that It Starts With The Egg book list for recurrent loss. There was a whole chapter on why and the research but I can't remember 😅 might re-listen
This is the one also linked from their website, I take one a day: NAC N-Acetyl-Cysteine 600mg 60... www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B074GZWDVC?ref=ppxpopmobapshare

@HerbaceousPerennial the urge to keep testing is real! And bloody expensive. Must be so hard with PCOS though and not having those certain times / hormonal clues that AF is due happening at similar times each cycle. Deffo good to stick to your plans, I find it gets easier and easier each cycle to keep it out of your mind (after the most recent loss) if trying to distance from it. I was a bit more involved last cycle but taking a big step back this time, just seeing what the watch says when AF comes

Ladies I've done something drastic to try and help TTC chances tonight 😭
Feel so conflicted about it.
Been breastfeeding my 3 yo once before bed since Xmas (was more) and fully stopped tonight. She was upset but not for long, big cuddle helped her fall asleep without it.
I feel like since my TFMR and the stresses of life since, I've just been clinging to her and maybe holding her back because of it. With breastfeeding and cosleeping and other stuff too. Also feel like I must have low estrogen after doing it for so long, though I'm not sure I even produce much milk any more. Feel cruel stopping, always wanted to wait until she told me, but it feels like the right time.

My test results from the gp came back clear for me and DH, got a call with the GP again tomorrow to ask about Ashermans hysteroscopy, deficiency testing and insulin resistance testing. See how much I can get on the nhs

Just wanted to send some solidarity and love stopping extended BF @samilicious. It’s so hard! I had to stop and not let DS choose because I was on medication for something else that i couldn’t BF on. It’s not about the milk, it’s about the closeness and the comfort but we’ve adapted our bedtime routine for extra snuggles while watching one of those galaxy projector lights and now he’s more articulate we talk about his day. It’s really lovely. Hope you’re doing ok. Good news about your tests but I know not having an answer is frustrating - and good luck for tomorrow! X

@samilicious also sending solidarity! I had to fully wean my boy at 21 months because I was one of those rare women whose periods just did not return while any feeding at all was going on. With my advancing age etc I didn't want to put off trying for no.2 any further (and given the subsequent losses I am glad we made that decision!) I agree with @Wise0wl, our bedtime routine evolved but is still a lovely precious time. We also managed to carry on cosleeping etc and if anything, the cuddles become more meaningful because you feel they are really cuddling because of the closeness and not partly through wanting booby milk!! Sending you love though - it's a very emotional time! 💕

@samilicious ahhh that is a massive decision! Not surprised you’re feeling a bit turbulent about it. It’s not cruel to stop, she’s getting lots of lovely cuddles instead and it’s the connection that she needs. If it’s any comfort I felt the same when DS stopped, he did stop of his own accord at 16 months but we’d cut him right down to just one after tea (fruitless attempts to get him to fall asleep independently meant we’d moved it from just before bed as he just fell asleep on the boob). I didn’t feel ready and it’s a big milestone to stop, a piece of their babyhood gone. I actually found the hormone shift much bigger than I expected given he was only having the one and it was really short by the end, might be different for you but just in case. I was a bit emotional. Sending big hugs.

That’s good news about the tests, I think? How are you feeling about it? Your GP should be able to do the other tests, mine did, although possibly that was because of the PCOS. Good to get all avenues checked out, it’s helped me to feel like I’m taking action. Yeah the PCOS is tough with testing, I was sticking to once a week but the thirst had me convinced. I’ve tried to drink more today so we’ll see how I am tonight and let’s be honest I’ll probably test again tomorrow 😂 I’ve not had a period yet since the miscarriage so highly unlikely to be anything but it’s really screwing with my head as it’s been my only reliable sign so if I can’t rely on the thirst then I am truly in the dark again!

@Wise0wl @SnookyPook thank you ♥️ your messages were so lovely to read and feel all the better and less alone for them. Your bedtime routines sound so lovely, going to that tonight now the shock has worn off. She asked about it this morning, said she didn't have mummy's milk last night and asked why, then got very excited about going to (pre)school in September and not needing it any more because she's bigger. See what she's like at bed time 😅

@HerbaceousPerennial interesting about the big hormone shift with only one feed! We'll see if it has any impact on TTC 🧐 that bloomin thirst haunting you! How annoying! Hope you get some answers soon, let us know what your test today says! I would test if I was in your sitch too

GP has referred me to a gyno which is good. Will take a few months to come through but something else to check. Doesn't think I've got scarring or calcification because it usually shows up on the ultrasound and they couldn't see anything. Happy to have another step to explore and lovely GP!

In less positive news, my boss is travelling up to see me tomorrow because the company has run out of money... so I'm 100% getting made redundant as predicted 🫠 didn't love the job but the market is so hard out there atm isn't it! Been applying for months but heard nothing

@samilicious tested today, very negative. I originally thought I might have ovulated last weekend (or not!) so normally I’d not be thinking about it, it’s just this thirst has been such a reliable indicator of pregnancy for me it’s sort of knocked me that it’s not that. A hopeful part of me really believed I might have struck lucky. I’m going to try not to test again until Friday. With the feeding, I didn’t get my periods back until I stopped either, even though DS was only feeding a few mins, so think I was quite susceptible to the hormones. I hope it kickstarts your body into full baby mode! I’m so sorry about your job, sounds incredibly stressful and definitely could do without it. I hope things go as well as they can do under the circumstances tomorrow, how’s your company’s redundancy package?

@HerbaceousPerennial have you ever heard of Inofolic? Someone with PCOS on another thread was just talking about how it's helped her get pregnant twice and there's some really good studies on it appaz. I know you're waiting for more tests but another thing to look into maybe. That's wild it affected your periods so much too! Mine came back after 6 months on the dot, I got pregnant with my TFMR when DD was 18 months and still feeding day and night, so I didn't think it would stop me again. Trying everything at this point though. The package is non existent sadly. I've only worked there 18m, and they're a start up with less than £100 in the bank so I'll be lucky if I get my month's notice at this rate. Not feeling too glum about it - like we were saying before, family health puts everything into perspective!

@HerbaceousPerennial it was a vitamin @samilicious recommended. This is Google's explanation
"N-acetyl cysteine (NAC) is used by the body to build antioxidants. Antioxidants are vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients that protect and repair cells from damage. You can get NAC as a supplement or a prescription drug."
Did they say how long your blood test results would be?
Awk no, I'm sorry about the bfn, and even more frustrating with having the symptoms and not being certain where you are with things, it's such an emotional rollercoaster. Hope you are ok x

@samilicious ok, thank you for the link. That's good news on the tests. It's so tough to stop b.feeding, and such an emotional time, I do think it's harder on us than them as it sort of feels like the end of an era. I decided to stop myself because I felt it was time but I felt all jumbled up and emotional doing it.

All of those cuddles will make up for it, it's being physically close to you that they really want and hopefully she will give you lots more cuddles too. As you said on the plus side it could help your chances. How are you feeling about it today? x

@samilicious Oo thanks! I’d not heard of inofolic, just googled and looks like it’s a branded supplement which contains mostly myoinositol which I did know about and there is a fair bit of evidence for. Myoinositol works to reduce insulin resistance which is common with PCOS but it’s one of the things I’m being tested for which is why I’m not doing anything about it for now. It also typically stops you getting pregnant so I’m expecting it’s not a problem for me but we’ll see! I remember you saying about working for a startup now you mention, sounds interesting but rotten in the current circumstances. How was your meeting with your manager? Yeah I know a few folk who got pregnant whilst breastfeeding but feels like stopping definitely won’t hurt and might help quite a lot if it is interfering with things slightly. I hope so for you anyway!

@Ladyinpink1 thanks, that’s interesting! On my bloods, nurse said to call Thursday if I don’t hear before which feels very fast - I think my GP might well call me regardless but we’ll see. Feeling a bit calmer about the BFN, got a bit of a cold now and wondering if I had a slight fever or something which caused/is causing the thirst. How are you doing? Where in your cycle are you?

Hi guys - I'm now 2.5 weeks post surgical management, still got positive tests but they are definitely getting lighter and my clearblue ovulation showed the empty circle which means HCG is no longer high enough to mess with the LH reading, so that's going in the right direction at least. I'm hoping for a similar timeframe to last time (period came back after 5.5 weeks). Feeling a bit glum about having to go back to TTC and living my life in 2 weeks blocks (we do home artificial insemination so can't just dtd every other day unfortunately).

But overall feeling remarkably calm and ok considering it's not been long at all. Went back to work yesterday and have just been clearing my inbox and getting set for the next couple of weeks as they're super busy! Wanted to jump back in here as I've found this thread super supportive, hope you all don't mind x

@moosey89 lovely to have you back but just wish it wasn't under these circumstances - here for whatever support you need ♥️ glad to hear you're healing ok. TTC is pretty glum but we'll get through it together ♥️

@moosey89 welcome back although wish you didn’t have to be. Glad you you are feeling broadly ok at the moment and always here to chat xx

That's brilliant you are getting the results so quickly. I still am waiting for my official test results from all of the recurrant miscarriage tests (done on 23rd April) lol.
Awk yes, I get really thirsty when I'm sick or have a cold too, sorry to hear that but glad you feel a little better about things. How has your week been?
I am on cd5 now, my peak is normally cd12 so about a week to wait. x

Nice to see your name and I'm glad to have you here @moosey89 but also it's not nice and I'm sorry for the reason you are back. That's good your tests are getting lighter. Will you wait for your first period before starting ttc again and are you thinking of trying anything different this time?
That's good you got going back to work over with x

Hi all. Unfortunately another MMC for me but this time at 8 weeks. Absolutely devastated and feels like such an impossibility. Just going to have to ride this one out until we can TTC again and will probably get some tests done privately. @moosey89 glad you're doing ok and that the tests are getting lighter.

Oh @13lucy I’m so sorry. It’s such a shit position to be in. All I can say is we all understand and are here when you need us.