CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #3

[Ladyinpink1]

I went to reply and you were right, the thread was full so I couldnt post a link to a new thread, also, because it's a new thread it wont give me a prediction to tag when I type a name, so I have just copied and paste the names off of everyone who posted on the very last page of the thread, I hope anyone else can find it OK. Sorry, maybe there is an easier better way... if anyone else can remember extra names and spellings, please tag 🙂

@samilicious

@Wise0wl

@ThelastRolo20

@13lucy

@Bugdem123

@HerbaceousPerennial

@13lucy I know - feels like everyone's been waiting for this holiday with me 😂 yes, going with the in laws so hoping for a bit of childcare help!

@UrsulaSings123 I'm not going to track ovulation so trying to be relaxed about it, will just try and get good coverage over fertile week and see what happens.

I'm not overly hopeful, my last two cycles have been 2 days shorter than usual so either I'm ovulating early (unlikely given symptoms) or I'm having a slightly shorter luteal phase 🤦‍♀️

@UrsulaSings123 Try not to dwell too much on the fertility stats, a lot of them are based on data that's so old it's barely relevant (the big one about the "cliff" at 35 is based on data from 300 years ago!). I've been reading Expecting Better by Emily Oster this week which has all sorts of useful analysis on conception and pregnancy, and it shows there's not actually that much difference between success conceiving for women aged 35-39 compared with those in their early 30s. There's a much bigger drop in success at 40+, but you are nowhere near that yet! Just wanted to give a bit of encouragement and reassurance, as that "stat" on reduced fertility over the age of 35 gets thrown around all the time and I don't think many people actually know whether it's accurate or not.

@Ladyinpink1 Good luck for the appointment next week, I really hope it's useful and can give you some clarity - it's so hard when you can't be certain that your body is doing the things you want/need it to do.

Good luck to everyone who is in a new cycle, think this thread is due a few BFPs soon. ❤ And @ThelastRolo20 I hope you have an amazing holiday!

@CluelessInLondon thank you that was really helpful. Now you mention it I do remember reading that somewhere about the data being based on research done a long time ago and that actually it was just population statistics, they weren't actually people ttc. For all we know, they could have been actively trying not to conceive (they probably already had about 8 children in that age!). I'd forgotten about it, so that actually makes me feel much better.

Hello everyone. I hope it’s okay to join even though this is a well established thread? I’m so sorry that we all find ourselves here 💜

I recently had an early loss and had to have a D&C as didn’t miscarry on my own.

Thinking about a new pregnancy is really helping me to get through this, but I’m torn on when we start ttc again.

In my head I know we should probably wait until after a period cause I don’t want dating stress, but in my heart, I really don't want to wait. Especially as we were lucky to fall the first time we tried. I know I’m going to be sad when that inevitably doesn’t happen again. I’m 35 with no children so starting to feel like time is against me.

I know there’s no medical reason to wait, and that waiting is advised only to get accurate dating from your LMP. Surely tracking ovulation gets round that issue?

Any experiences here of trying again before a period vs waiting?

Hi @Wise0wl thank you so much, this is very helpful. How are you? x

@13lucy I'm really sorry about how things have been lately, it's such a tough thing to deal with and also when you want a baby it's such a strong feeling that takes over everything and adding losses into the mix just amplifies it even more. That must be so difficult for you, and I dont know about you, but I find being around other pregnant ladies very hard, alot harder than being around babies, so i feel for you.
Where are you in your cycle now?
I'm very pleased to get the appointment, I will update you. Not sure if you remember but we started a dif thread to find out about asprin and whether we should be taking it, if these blood tests are the same as wise owls list then they will give me the answer on that. x

@UrsulaSings123 I also look up all of these types of things and end up down a rabbit hole of confusion lol. Yes it's for recurrent miscarriage testing x

Hi @CluelessInLondon how are you and your little ski baby 😁? Hope all is well. Thank you, I'm happy to finally get it, may find nothing out but at least I will know if there is anything I need to do either way x

Hi @purplecolouroffunk yes please join us. Lots of lovely supportive ladies on here and nothing is too strange to say or ask, likely soneone else on the thread will be feeling the sane way.

I'm really sorry for your loss and I think we all felt the same that we wanted to try asap. I waited for my first period the first time but then this time I bled longer and was still bleeding a little when I ovulated (so couldnt dtd) and then my first period came shortly after .. so I didn't get a chance to try before it but I def would have tried without waiting for first period if I had of been able to... especially now as i'm still waiting I think every opportunity counts 🙂 x

@purplecolouroffunk so sorry for what you've had to go through recently, its so sad. Yes of course, I've been here for just over a month (feels so much longer than that!) and everyone is so lovely. I've found it really helpful speaking to others in a similar situation.

I had surgical management 6 weeks ago today. We tried again straight away. I personally felt that using OPK's I would know when I ovulated anyway and there's research to say if you get pregnant within first 3 months of a MC you're less likely to have another one (but of course this still can happen) so we were hoping to have that advantage. My first cycle was a lot shorter than usual at 24 days and my period was only 36 hrs long and very light, so my body obviously wasn't ready for another pregnancy. Just on 2nd cycle and will be testing at the weekend. I felt the same as you in that I was so focused on ttc again to get me through I think. I feel like that has eased a bit this month.

Hey @Ladyinpink1! I’m ok. I’m trying not to think about things too much and have my next scan on Wednesday when I should be 8 weeks. Taking it step by step and not getting ahead of myself that any of this will result in a baby is standing me in ok stead. I’ve really missed you all and am lurking as I’m so invested in your journeys (said like a creepy stalker ha!) and have my fingers crossed for more lucky bfps! Have a wonderful and well deserved holiday @ThelastRolo20 ☀️

@ThelastRolo20 I'm deffo putting my short cycle down to covid then! I've heard that before but haven't had any impact myself until now. Going to try and get back into exercising after time off ill. Glad you had a lovely one! How is packing for your next going? Only a few hours to go! I'm hopefully for you this cycle, hopefully holiday will help too

@13lucy glad you were feeling hopeful ♥️ hope you still are, even if quietly when the negative/protective voices take over. It made me sad reading about you being more mentally physically broken and that's the only thing in the time since trying. It's so hard to stay up and have hope. At the same time I can't give up no matter how hard I try and distance myself from it

@UrsulaSings123 I always feel like I haven't posted in ages when it's only been days too 😂 glad you're not feelin the pressure as much second cycle in. All we can do is test, learn, iterate 🤞🏻 and pray 😂 always worth asking a trusted GP no matter where you are in the journey

@Ladyinpink1 I have the same thing with my cycles stop/starting! Strange but reassuring I'm not on my own and it's more normal than I thought. Yes that made sense - thank you for sharing ♥️ I've ordered a cheap Amazon watch with good reviews 😊 not sure whether to come clean to DH that I killed the Apple Watch putting it through the wash one too many times (he bought it) 😂 great news about your appt coming through

My tests are for hormone levels and I'm sure they said something glandular? Before and after ovulation (CD5 and 19). DH is dropping off sperm sample tomorrow at hospital

@purplecolouroffunk sorry to hear all you've been through ♥️

@Wise0wl fingers crossed for your scan! ♥️ I have only good vibes about the outcome

Thank you everyone 🥰 going to firmly place TTC out of my mind for the next week, (other than the fact my fertile window overlaps so there'll be a bit of planning 😂)

My first Monday back at work will be the start of the TWW which is a silver lining to what is normally a depressing first day back! Will finally be able to say "I might be pregnant"

See you all on the other side xx

Got my latest hospital appointment letter through, another internal ultrasound early May (last one I had was private, this is NHS as part of the fertility clinic referral). Interested to see if I get the all clear on that one, last one I had my right ovary was partially obscured, most likely due to scar tissue from a previous abdominal surgery.

This month is a wierd one - I feel both optimistic but also like it's not my month. Can't really explain it. Might be because the medical appointments make it feel like something is happening at least.

@Wise0wl aw don't lurk in the background, stay in touch and keep us updated. You are still one of the gang 🙂. I know what you mean taking it a bit at a time but I'm hopefull you will get good news at your next scan x

That's interesting @samilicious and is the test a few days apart for progesterone and to check ovulation? Have you had them now or is it coming up?
Maybe just tell DH about the watch when he is in a very good mood lol x

Have a lovely holiday @ThelastRolo20 get that wee egg nice and relaxed and happy ready for your fertile time 🙂 x

Hi @moosey89 lovely to see your name, and that's great you have an appointment, hope it gives you a feeling of somethings happening. Where are you in your cycle now? x

Meant to say earlier af arrived furst thing so I am cd1 today, glad to be on a fresh new cycle and I have stuck to the healthy eating so far ... although we will see how the weekend goes lol x

@ThelastRolo20 have a great holiday! 🥰

@ThelastRolo20 have a wonderful holiday!

@Ladyinpink1 I'm day 23, so 9dpo. How about you? I've got a nice busy week to keep me occupied, friends round for board games tonight and then into London tomorrow to work on the Marathon which is one of my favourite events to work at! Then seeing Russell Howard on Tuesday ☺️

@Ladyinpink1 I'm doing well thank you - in a bit of a weird place at the moment as my dating scan feels like it was ages ago and it still feels like a long time to go until my anomaly scan (it's only 3 weeks but time is weird during TTC and pregnancy, isn't it?!) so it's hard not to sink into worrying about what could have gone wrong since the last scan and whether baby is doing okay. I've got a little bit of a bump popping up, but I think at the moment it's probably mostly all the extra carbs I've been eating. 😂

@purplecolouroffunk The other piece of advice I was given about waiting a cycle after my MC (other than the dating thing) was that having a period is your body's way of flushing out all of the old lining and giving you a completely fresh new one to work with next time. I waited a cycle before starting to try again after my MC in September - I think I actually needed those few weeks to try and come to terms with what had happened, and I didn't really feel like my emotions and hormones rebalanced until after I'd had a period. Obviously it's totally personal choice and there is no harm in trying again straight away, but for me waiting a cycle definitely helped on the psychological side. I'm so sorry for your loss, but you are in safe hands with this amazing group of ladies - everyone 'gets it' and it makes such a difference when TTC after miscarriage can feel lonely sometimes. ❤

Thanks so much everyone. Feel less alone being in a group like this. My partner is incredibly supportive and with me every step of the way. But there’s still a feeling of loneliness not knowing anyone that’s been through this.

In terms of tracking, would I count my D&C day as CD1?

I’m feeling quite empty and a bit numb today, so I think waiting for a period to pass is probably the right thing to do.

I can’t help have this feeling of wasted time. I would have been 8 weeks now and I just can’t stop thinking about how I’m back at square one. I know in the grand scheme of things that a few more months doesn’t make a difference but it’s making me feel anger or something.

My best friend is currently 16 weeks pregnant. I haven’t seen her yet and I’m a bit worried about how I’ll feel when I do. Of course I’m so happy for her, but it’s a bit of a reminder of what we lost. I would have been 8 weeks behind her and I was so excited about that.

@purplecolouroffunk Yes, day 1 of your new cycle is the day of the surgery. Everyone is different, but my experience was - negative pregnancy test 3 weeks after the surgery, LH peak came the day after that and period arrived 2 weeks after the LH peak, so a 5 week cycle in total. After that, my cycle went back to the normal 29-30 days it was before the MC, but it can take a bit of time for everything to reset so don't worry too much if it's not the same as before straight away.

The anger and the frustration at the time lost with nothing to show for it is totally natural and understandable - so much of what you posted above reminds me of the things I was posting on the support thread on the miscarriage forum 6 months ago. It's easy for me to say now because I've been fortunate to conceive again since then, but over time it will get easier - it never stops being unfair, but it will hurt less, and less frequently. And when it does hurt, let it hurt. My original due date was Monday this week and even with the hopes of another pregnancy progressing well so far, I still had a good cry.

@purplecolouroffunk I was pregnant at the same time as my step sister, although she was right near the end of her pregnancy, so I get how you feel. I find it so hard seeing people who are pregnant. I was counting how many weeks I 'should' have been for a few weeks after my mc and I totally understand the 'square one' feeling. Although I used to think I was worse off than square one because now it's a few months later with a loss. Not a bad idea to let yourself heal a bit, physically and psychologically.

Well I just did a preg test at 7dpo at 3pm in the afternoon🙄at least I managed to wait another day this time 😂wasn't planning on doing one until tomorrow morning, but even that is totally pointless really as it's only 8dpo. Ah well, the excitement/anxiety at the possibility just drags me in!

@Ladyinpink1 yes I agree being around pregnant people is harder than babies, must be the jealousy! I'm currently CD15 and no sign of anything happening yet - I usually ovulate between CD17-21 which makes timing things difficult! I've been running 3 times a week so will see if that has any affect. Ah that's good you'll get some answers, I've wondered about aspirin but the research doesn't seem that clear on it. I've still got the aspirin from my first booking appointment in my bedside draw.

@samilicious it's tough isn't it! I've gone from the fittest I've ever been to unfit/heaviest I've been, experienced my worst ever mental state, completely lost my identity with giving up running/sport and not trusting my body anymore - so not been much fun! Still haven't told my parents which I think has been bothering me subconsciously. I feel hopeful leading up to fertile week but every time a cycle passes without being pregnant I lose a bit more hope. I know what you mean about not giving up - I'm grateful for all of your support in keeping me going!

@moosey89 glad you're getting more tests and I hope you get some answers soon.

@purplecolouroffunk sorry for your loss. Like others have said, the feeling of wasted time and anger doesn't go away but you think about it less often. When I went through my miscarriage the quote 'it can't be fixed, it can only be carried' really resonated with me. It will always be there but it does get easier. I had an MVA and was advised to wait for a period - I remember it was really difficult to hold off when I was ovulating! My first cycle was also very short and my periods are still super light 6 cycles on!

That sounds like perfect activities to keep you busy on the tww @moosey89 . And you really don't have long to find out now. I am only on cd2 so a while to wait yet. Hoping fir good news for you x

Yes I know what you mean, I can't believe you are close to 20 weeks already, I feel like it has flew in. Has it went fast for you? @CluelessInLondon I hope the time comes around fast for your next scan. Will you find out the sex or keep it a surprise? x

I think 7dpo is perfectly acceptable @UrsulaSings123 😂 it's so hard not to early test x

Well done with the running @samilicious , do you feel much better for it? Not long to wait now til your fertile time then.
Well i don't know what will happen at my appointment, but if I find out any info I will post it here x

Well I've tested the last couple days and absolutely nothing. My boobs feel totally normal. I'm feeling really disappointed. I wish we hadn't waited so long to ttc again.

I'm sorry @UrsulaSings123 it's so dissapointing isn't it. Do you have any nice plans for this next week? Sending a 🫂
I am currently sitting at the kitchen table reading a google search of "what did you do differently the cycle you concieved" and on Reddit most people are saying that basically they just relaxed e.g booked a holiday or had given up ... which feels very unhelpful as it's impossible not to think about ttc in my opinion, anyways just wanted to let you know you aren't alone this morning. x

@13lucy i was thinking about you because the start-stop thing happened with me again ! I am cd4 but yesterday afternoon it stopped completely, just waiting for it to rearrive again today lol x