Cd1 of ttc first cycle after loss... anyone want to join me? 🙂

[Ladyinpink1]

Hi 🙋‍♀️, just as the title says, I am now on cd1 of my first cycle after a loss at 11+4 (stopped growing just after a scan showing strong heartbeat at 8 -9w)

Feeling nervous but positive about a new cycle ...but finding it hard to think of anything else other than ttc 🙂

Happy for some company to obsess with over these next weeks x

@Oxalis00 I am already struggling not to think about it now lol. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to wait for AF. Lol. That's nice to test with dh, would it work out time wise for you to maybe test together just before he leaves? x

@ThelastRolo20 I planned to try to wait but I already feel I might not be able to. That's nice you have some plans to look forward to in December. x

Hi @SnookyPook that's good the bleeding is slowing. I hope that you aren't waiting very long... did they say how long their waiting list is? I reacted the same after my last loss a bit all over the place between normal like nothing had happened then it hitting me at random times... it's definitely been such a tough year as you said, hoping this new year brings good news for you x

Another BFP! Congratulations @Liz2681, hope you are feeling okay and keeping fingers crossed that this is a sticky one for you.

@Wise0wl That's great that you got your referral to EPU so quickly and you've got the guarantee of a scan next week. I know the early scans can only tell you so much, but there's something reassuring about not having to do that long first trimester wait for a scan. The EGU at my hospital told me to call them directly if/when I get pregnant again to arrange early scans - fingers crossed I get to do that before too long!

Good luck to anyone testing in the next couple of days - it seems to be a good time for it, there are BFPs popping up all over this thread at the moment!

Woah, cannot believe how many bfp's we have had on this thread! It must be a record in such a short space of time! I have found this thread so helpful too... and thinking about that, those who have had BFP so far.... Will you all make a graduation thread from this thread in the pregnancy section that wthe rest of us can join when hopefully our bfp's come?

Congratulations @Liz2681 🎊 it must of been a lovely surprise after thinking you were out with the spotting x

@Ladyinpink1 @CluelessInLondon thank you - not heard yet but they said weeks rather than months so hopefully will hear fairly soon 🤞🏻

Congratulations @Liz2681 💕

Not meaning for everyone to leave the thread by the way 🤣.... but I just would like to carry on chatting with all you all throughout this whole process, wherever it leads, I think we have a great bunch on here and it's invaluable to be able to chat to people in the same boat that understand as like many on here i'm sure, I have noone in my "real life" that I can chat to that understands xxx

😂 thanks for clarifying @Ladyinpink1! it does make sense to have a a graduated thread, especially as we all know first hand how bittersweet the good news of others is. Having said that I’m not quite sure I’m ready to join a pregnancy board just yet, but might after my scan at EPU next week?

How are you getting on? X

I believe there is a very active 'pregnancy after miscarriage' thread on the pregnancy board... I never got as far as daring to join but I've seen it and it seems very supportive as you'd expect 😊

Huge congratulations @Liz2681.

I agree @Ladyinpink1 there’s something really reassuring about having a group of people who understand exactly what you’re going through. I don’t really talk to my friends about TTC, also my 2 best friends are currently pregnant (first month trying for them of course) and my husband tries to understand bless him but it’s not the same.

Im on CD4 now and this part of the cycle just feels so pointless and long.

Lol @Wise0wl Yes of course I know what you mean, a bfp for us now feels so different to one pre having experienced a miscarriage. And it would be nice to all see eachothers journeys through to hopefully newborn stage!
I'm OK, just feeling sad, I tested this morning and bfn for me. I was very hopeful for this cycle. Waiting for AF then onto the next. Might do SMEP this time see how I get on. I was also thinking maybe my appointment for investigations might come through in the meantime so trying to focus on the positive. x

I was on one before my last loss that sounds similar to that @SnookyPook , that's good it's still up and running x

@Gem0302 A few people around me are pregnant too, it's really tough isn't it, and yes hard to explain, I think the pregnancy is lovely and exciting and I do really feel happy for them but then at the same time when I see them, it reminds me of what I am missing.
Hopefully your weekend is busy and before you know it you are in your fertile stage again 🙂 x

@Ladyinpink1 I totally agree with you and others that BFP after miscarriage is not the same. Finding myself over analysing everything - trying to be positive but it’s so hard when I’m so desperate for things to go ok so I definitely agree that I’m not ready to leave this thread yet.

& sorry to hear you aren’t feeling great today. BFN doesn’t mean you’re out yet. I mean I took a test, it was negative and then a week later got a positive. It happens. I know it feels that way though so be kind to yourself today❤️.

I remember how worried I was last time too, I hope for for you is that these early weeks fly in fast so you can get to a point of feeling a little more confident. 💜 Will you have an early scan?

Thank you, each of the 4 pregnancies, I have never had a bfp later than this, always been light but there wasnt even a shadow this morning, stark white... but of course I would love to be proved wrong! I wish I hadn't of tested, it's like I just can't stop myself lol x

I’ll definitely have an early scan! I’ve had one with each of my pregnancies. I’m not sure how far along I am because my cycles have been everywhere since the MC so I don’t know the length but I’m assuming I’m very early (like 4 weeks) because of the negative so i’ll book one in 2 weeks. Just praying everything is ok! I have days where I’m really positive and then days where I’m like maybe this is too good to be true! Just want to fast forward to next March!

Awww girl. How many DPO are you? You could have implanted later. I know it’s disheartening though and nothing anyone says really makes it feel 100% better - sending you lots of hugs for today. X

Oh @Ladyinpink1 I completely understand your sadness. It’s ok to feel sad. It makes sense. I do think you’re early for a definitive answer though - you must be about 9DPO? I’ve just googled it and less than half of pregnancies show with a positive at 9DPO…

Morning everyone!

Completely agree with what's been said about BFPs feeling different after a MC. You'd think the worrying stops, but it just continues which is hard to deal with, as other people seem to be able to just enjoy getting on with their pregnancies.

@Ladyinpink1 sorry to hear you're feeling down. It's so hard to see s negative test, but depending on where you are in your cycle you might still not be out. I didn't get a faint positive until 11DPO (and it was very faint on a FRER), and everything before then was stark white. It's only now I'm getting clearer ones at 14DPO.

@Aaliyahrae I'm with you, will definitely be having an early scan. I don't think my anxiety will decrease until then! Currently also 4 weeks in, so will be waiting another couple to book it in.

Congratulations @Liz2681! Great to hear you’re getting a nice clear line. Crossing fingers for you - I can well imagine the anxiety of a BFP after loss.

@Gem0302 The first part of the cycle does feel really long - I've been telling myself not to wish the time away as it's time that I could be spending doing something good. Maybe try and make sure you've always got a couple of nice things planned during the first couple of weeks of your cycle, so you have something to distract you and to look forward to? Even if it's just something small I find it's nice to have something other than TTC to think about!

@Ladyinpink1 Sorry to hear you are feeling down - there is still time to get that BFP though, so try not to feel too disheartened.

@Aaliyahrae @Liz2681 Will you be able to get early scans through EPU or do you need to go private?

I'm CD12 today so on the OPKs with a vengeance. Completely irrationally disappointed that this morning's was looking distinctly negative, even though I know I'm probably not likely to ovulate until CD17 anyway. Annoyingly, I'm away this weekend so missing some opportunities - have told my husband to be prepared for action on Friday morning and Sunday night. 😂

Thanks @Oxalis00 it's still so early so all very tentative so trying to keep a level head.

@CluelessInLondon I don't know actually 🤔 I'm sure you can go and get a scan if you have concerns but at the moment, because everything seems fairly normal, I might just go private. If that changes though I'll definitely be going to the EPU.

@CluelessInLondon you are right. I find myself wishing the days away and then I get annoyed at myself for doing so. Prior to TTC I never wished time away and was the sort of person who saw something positive in everyday. I need to get back to that way of thinking.

@Ladyinpink1 I’m sorry to hear you are feeling so down. As others have said its still so early. I only got my BFP with my son on 13dpo and even then it was very faint. But I also know how disheartening it is to see those stark white tests.

I go away for a few days and come back to see another BFP 🤯💗 huge congratulations @Liz2681!

I’ve been trying to keep a ‘what will be, will be’ mindset but I’ll be honest, the anxiety is starting to creep in the past few days.

My symptoms are starting to ramp up now, a lot earlier than last time, I don’t know if that’s a good sign or not?!

Before getting my BFP I didn’t think I’d want an early scan as my scan at 8+4 last time lulled me into a false sense of security, but this time I think I’m going to have one at 7 weeks and one at 9.5 weeks to break it up until the 12 week scan (if I get that far that is). The thought of another MMC and potentially losing so much time again is really tough to bear.

Sorry to hear it’s a BFN so far @Ladyinpink1 but it is still very early, you definitely aren’t out yet! X

How are you getting on @Haylsttc? X

Not pregnant but did anyone have HG in their pregnancies? One of the cheapest thing about my miscarriage was how sick I had been for 12 weeks before finding out I’d had a missed miscarriage.

i want more than anything to be pregnant but also HG has a very high reoccurrence rate and is utterly debilitating for me. I was on about 6 different medications and still felt nauseated all the time as well as being sick.

it’s hard to both equally look forward to and dread anothe pregnancy. And if I was to get pregnant and miscarry again having gone through the sickness, I’m not sure I could handle it.

Thank you for your kind words ladies, I had some things going on today so it was a tough day anyway and so that combined with the bfn I was very sad, but feeling far better now. xx

@Aaliyahrae That's tough not knowing exactly how far you are, it will be a nice surprise to find out dates, I hope you have smooth sailing from here on x

@Oxalis00 Yes 9dpo, I know it sounds really early but I have always tested + by now if preg... which I think doesn't help my desire to early test! Lol Thank you for looking that up, I will test again in the morning but I feel like it's a - for sure.
Not too long for you now, this thread seems to have such a great % of bfp so I think we will see some more very soon x

@Ladyinpink1 so sorry to hear about your negative. I understand the sadness and disappointment - try to do something positive for you to help over the next few days.

I got my hair done today, which really helped. I did my my hairdresser pause though - she asked if I was thinking about baby 2 and I said yes but I miscarried 4 weeks ago! She went silent, which I understand. I just want to help break the taboo around it all.

I've been good and not been doing any OPKs, just having sex every three days (yes it's that regimented haha!). My husband tried to delay the last one due to work - absolutely not 😂😂 definitely not expecting much though so just waiting for AF xx

Hi @SunSparkle I'm sorry I didn't have hv but I have heard how debilitating it can be. I can understand the double anxiety you must have. Hope someone else comes along that knows more x

Hats off to you @ThelastRolo20 - I’ve been in that situation like with your hairdresser a few times and I have wondered what would happen if I said “yeah, I was pregnant for three months but the baby died and then it took me nearly three months to finish miscarrying and it ended with a blood transfusion…” or even just “yeah we’ve been finding that hard”. I’ve generally just laughed it off and said “we’re still tired from the first one”. Well done for speaking the truth. I do hope a bit more of that will eventually change the broader culture.

@ThelastRolo20 good for you! I've not been asked this but if anyone does then I will say "actually yes, we've had three pregnancy losses this year" - I don't want to say it in a horrible way to make them feel bad, but I do think people need to be aware that this is actually a delicate topic and not one to be brought up lightly. As you say, it's all part of breaking the stigma around loss too.

Admire your commitment to dtd. I'm now slightly nervous as it's been about 2 months' since we last did and I've just stopped bleeding again but now nervous as don't really want to get pregnant again until we've seen consultant. And luckily (?!) that's one part of the process we don't seem to have an issue with! I guess I will do opks to keep track and see how things go..! May have to buy a pack of condoms... That will be a novelty 😂😩