2023 TTC 35+ Part 3

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread!!!

The other one filled in so quickly. I'm happy that many of you are finding this space supportive and helpful.

I am so so sorry @Eirlys1986 what horrible news to get today. I think a few of us have been there before, so as the others have mentioned, please keep posting here or private msg etc for any questions or extra support. Sending you love xxx

@Eirlys1986 I'm so so sorry to hear your news. Was really routing for you guys. I hope you can have a gentle day together and your fabulous dogo takes care of you all. Thinking of you and hear should you need anything. Thanks for your kind words too. Xx

Thanks everyone for your support and understanding. I think me and other half have gone into a bit of an automatic pilot mode at the moment and not sure what to do. We are saying all the usual placatory stuff to each other and I’ve just been doing a bit of unpacking to go through the motions of doing something. OH has gone for a run 🏃‍♂️. I’ll be going to EPAU on Friday for next steps. I think the thing I kind of feel most sad about is the fact this will understandably colour any future pregnancies with a lot of anxiety. It was odd though, I just had such a strong sense of background unease that something wasn’t right this time around, our bodies always tell us when something is amiss x

Thanks to all you amazing folks for the congrats! Will keep me going until we feel like we can spread the news - not sure when we'll go for it, advice welcome!

@Eirlys1986 So sorry to hear about your scan today - I hope you are finding some time to take it easy. It's so admirable you're looking ahead, but be kind to yourself too. Sending you all the hugs and well wishes. 💝

Also the digital tests didn't even turn on for me! Both were Clear Blue - 1 was a basic yes/no and the other had the red light and neither displayed a thing. Maybe a couple of dud batches at my supermarket?

@Bumblebee413 It was cycle 9 of trying - and the 2nd cycle after cutting BF back to one small morning feed. Really kicking myself as I can't help but wonder would it have happened sooner if I'd just toughened up and reduced it earlier!

@Elen123 OMG I love your pupper! Super cute😍

@Eirlys1986 I hope EPAU are good with you - will that be to decide whether to opt for surgery / medical or waiting/natural route? It's such a horrible thing to go through. I also had a bit of a background unease for the pregnancy I lost, and couldn't have said why, but in and among you still hope that you're wrong and start looking ahead a bit etc don't you.

@TickingTui my AF didn't even return until I fully weaned and part of me wishes I'd pushed for that sooner but part of me knows the bf journey my DS and I had was right for us and therefore the resulting impact on TTC and timing of next baby must also be the right one for our family. It's made the loss a little harder as it's pushed timelines back even further but I have to trust that the right sibling will come along at the right time!

@SnookyPook yes you definitely try to tell yourself you are just being anxious/silly. I think at this early stage we will just be looking at whether to manage conservatively or medical. Cervix was completely shut and there has been no external bleed at all but there is a little bleed close to the sac so they think that may be the beginnings of things trying to naturally sort themselves out. I would much rather let things naturally happen but equally don’t want weeks of sadness just waiting for it to happen and risking infection etc. I’m sure EPAU will go through the options well with me.

@Eirlys1986 yes that sounds sensible. I hope it doesn't drag on too long for you. Once you know that the worst has happened you just want it over with don't you. Will be thinking of you on Friday. Do keep us posted if you are happy doing so. 💕

Thanks @SnookyPook that is definitely how I’m feeling now really. Just want it over and done with. I will keep you all posted of course as you are all such a wonderful support x

@Eirlys1986 I would feel the same on the natural front - I hope it can progress for you. But hopefully the EPAU will guide you through to the right call no matter which way it goes. I hope you can get a bit of time to yourself if you need it over the next few days - as it's a lot to process 💝

@SnookyPook I can relate! My BF journey with my son felt right for us too. And now I've pushed it on, I can sense it's coming to a faster close😪But as much as I was mift about the timeline, I feel was for a reason. I just got an awesome new job which I never would have gone for if I was pregnant sooner. Here's hoping they're not too mad about maternity leave in my 1st yr...😬

@Eirlys1986 Sorry to hear this.

Im so so sorry to hear this @Eirlys1986. Thinking of you. Hope you’re both as ok as you can be during this awful time, and hope you can take some time to look after yourself x

@Eirlys1986 I'm sorry to hear about this! Gosh, what terrible news to hear. I hope this will end quickly for you so you can start to move on from this. Again, I'm so sorry. I was really rooting for you.

@Eirlys1986 i was completely the same as u and thought things might happen naturally (cervix was closed) but after a few weeks I ended up having a D&C as nothing had happened. Just from my own personal experience it was the best decision for me in the end as I wanted to start moving on. Will be thinking on u on Friday and we’re here if u need us. Just incase ur looking for someone who had a D&C under GA with breathing tubes and a catheter I’m here to talk/give u my experience if u need it.
It’s a lot to process so be kind to urself over the next few days. Sending love ❤️

@Eirlys1986 I'm so sorry to hear your news, sending hugs your way. I also went through that earlier this year. I opted for the surgical route as didn't want to put myself through it naturally.

I know what you mean about something being amiss, I recall the tiredness and SPD feelings suddenly stopping and saying to someone I don't feel like I'm pregnant. By that I wasn't so whether I'd missed the early signs I don't know.

Of course this time round though I'm feeling hyper sensitive to everything which isn't helping.

Mine did happen naturally but it took I think about ten days, and I still felt crappy and sickly while I waited. And it started in the car while o was on my way out somewhere. I don't think there's a good way, whatever works best for you. You must be so numb today, there's time to think about it later xx

@Eirlys1986 oh crikey, what horrible news as PPs have said, a lot of us have been there and it's a club no one wants to join. So sorry for your loss.

Thanks so much for your support and shared experiences everyone. You are right @A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 I am feeling numb today. Crying a lot but also gone into practical mode, just took myself off to boots to buy pain relief and liners for when the inevitable occurs either naturally or induced. I think OH doesn’t really know what to do either, I think he’s trying to minimise the situation by focusing on how early things have happened which I can completely understand but he’s looking a bit she’ll shocked when I’m explaining that the miscarriage itself is going to be physically and mentally very unpleasant whatever option I choose. We haven’t told any family we were pregnant and I think for now I am keeping it that way. I’m don’t think I could stand the sympathy tbh.

@Eirlys1986 Sorry to see your news. It’s a horrible feeling, I had one too last year. I went for an MVA as I was still having pregnancy symptoms and it felt sick to me. But as you say, there is no easy option with this. I hope you are as ok as you can be. Look after yourself. X

@Eirlys1986 I am so so sorry. 💔 I genuinely feel sad for you, I was so invested in your pregnancy! It's strange that you had an inkling 😔 I really hope you take the time to process everything. Can you get some time off work? Especially away from that annoying colleague of yours. If the natural route is what you prefer, I hope it isn't too painful. I know your in practical mode right now but it's okay to wallow if you want to do some of that too.

I'm prescribing lots of squishy hugs from your doggo and toddler! Thinking of you Xx

Thanks so much @LeopardLover , I was due in work on Thursday and Friday so our practice manager has kindly sorted for me to be off. I have just retrieved the dog from the dog sitter and definitely looking forward to getting my toddler back later this afternoon from nursery. I shall keep everyone updated and thank you so much for your kindness xx

Ps @LeopardLover unfortunately the annoying pregnant colleague was one of the first things I thought of after we found out, I shall have to think of strategies to deal with that situation x

@Eirlys1986 Really pleased you've got some time off! Cuddles with your favourites sound much needed right now. I wish I could give you a hug too.

I hope you think of a good way to tackle that/perhaps the practice manager can help?

I also understand what you mean when you said you were glad you didn't tell people and your reasoning for this. I'd feel the same I think. Sending lots of love. Always here for a DM too x

@LeopardLover Im relieved about the time off too, it would be a distraction but I was a bit wary as in my job you just don’t know whether babies/other women in similar situations are going to come through the door and that may be a bit too much this week. Where are you in cycle at the moment?

@Eirlys1986 totally understand you not wanting to tell anyone. When we had our mmc we had already started telling family and close friends we were expecting as we thought we were 10 weeks at that point. It was so hard then telling them the sad news just a couple of weeks later.

This time round we've told parents so we have that support but if it happens again I don't want to tell anyone else as I don't want to deal with the sympathy.

Also not sure I'd have the strength to try again if this doesn't go well so constantly battling emotions and hoping things go well this time.