IVF Buddies: the next chapter

[RunningOnHope]

Hi everyone, thought I'd try making us a second thread now the old one is done -

Tagging @Triselly @lemons44 @CR7 @Flowerlover010 @pongom @WholeZebra @TheBirdintheCave @SarahShorty - will go back to the thread and see if there's anyone else to add in, but do tag those I've missed!

@SarahShorty in the almost five years we were trying it didn't get easier. I'm so sorry. It's really hard. My sister had two babies whilst we were trying and my husbands sisters each had one. I'm really sorry xx

@RunningOnHope it was a very painful transfer because I have scar tissue from previous surgery to my cervix to prevent surgical cancer (hoping the next is a little easier). I'm also aiming for day 9 this time.

@WholeZebra I drove myself crazy in the TWW but there really isn't anything that you can do. I think that's what make it so hard. I hope you've managed to relax a little.

@TheBirdintheCave I'm on my lubion and cyclogest now. It's getting very real can't believe it's Friday, that's literally this week now!

@CR7 that's crazy! The time has flown by. You're literally my beacon of hope at the moment.

@SarahShorty I'm sorry. I know how you feel. We have three team mates pregnant at the moment and I've been finding it really hard. The first told me before anyone (I'm senior to her and she wanted advice) she was talking about terminating the pregnancy. I had to say to her I wasn't the best person to speak to because I have infertility and it's not great timing for me.

The second is my direct report and I get a play by play every day of what's wrong with her. She thinks she has auto immune, and she has diabetes and this and that. It's like everyday I have to listen to her talk about all her pregnancy challenges and I'm starting to find it really hard 🥺

Third went off of Mat leave a few weeks ago and she's gone into labour today.

I feel so guilty because I'm so happy for them all but I'm hurting so much for myself. It's really hard to compartmentalise. I've been thinking today that I genuinely might need to get myself signed off because I'm not sure I can deal with the added stress and pressure my direct report is adding with her pregnancy journey.

Has anyone got any advice on getting signed off?

Thank you for your lovely words @charja100 - I truly didn't think I would get to this point.

it's really tough at work sometimes isn't it xx

If you're talking a couple of weeks then perhaps the doctor could sign you off with stress?

@charja100 I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling :(. I know how you feel - it feels like people are announcing a pregnancy left right and centre at work. It’s really difficult. I second @CR7 and see if maybe you could get a sick note for stress?

@charja100 Sounds like you definitely need some time out. I'd definitely ask for a sick note if I were you.

@charja100 I think you can self-certify for 7 days and that includes mental health reasons. Then just get a phonecall with the GP and explain you're struggling, they should have no problem signing you off for another couple of weeks.

Thanks so much ladies. I think it's all just got a bit on top of me. It's kind of come out of the blue to be honest. I called my work colleague assistance plan today and they're going to refer me to some counselling.

I'll see how I go over the next few days, but I'm going to take the time off if i need it.

Not getting on well with this Lutigest. I'm so tired all the time and have a bad headache this morning 😭

@TheBirdintheCave headache could be totally unrelated as could the tiredness. Hope you feel better today x

@CR7 Thanks, me too. Thank goodness I work from home 😂

Well, because I can't just do one significant life event at a time, next job interview is on the cards. I'll be 7dp5dt so absolutely good motivation not to test early - I will spend the next week after transfer focused only on interview prep and not guessing if embryo is sticking...!

@RunningOnHope excellent plan xx

Hello ladies, hope you’re all alright.

I’ve been laying low for a bit as owing to summer holidays here (much the same as you @Copenhagener) our next ivf cycle isn’t going to be until September. It feels very far away, I’ve got a birthday in between then too so going to be 37 by the time we try again 😬.

Also been looking into alternative methods to manage pain and anxiety before egg collection, as it’s been getting on top of me a bit. The clinic have said they’ll try different pain relief next time but I’ve been having nightmares about it recently as I was not in any way effectively sedated last time and felt every single second of it. If anyone has any suggestions, I really am all ears!

Just catching up on everyone’s news, it sounds like it’s going really well for a lot of us! And lots happening this week, my fingers are crossed for everyone who is moving onto a next stage or testing in the next few days xx

@CR7 Are you in your second trimester now? That is so wonderful - apologies if you have answered this already but do you know what you’re having? Or are you planning to find out?

@charja100 I’m so sorry to hear you’re having a hard time, I think we can all relate to your feelings ❤️ It feels so overwhelming at times, pressure coming both externally and internally. I agree that taking some time off sounds like a good idea if possible. We are here if you need/want to vent and thinking of you.

@Triselly don't worry about the birthday having any effect. I'm 42 and will be 43 when the baby arrives, all being well. Yes 14 weeks now which is wild. I still have no symptoms aside from I have been getting palpitations a lot. Like A LOT. apparently according to dr google it's very common but I went to see my gp yesterday who has referred me to a cardiologist just in case. I'm seeing him Friday so will keep you posted on what he says.

It's such a shame that you had such a bad experience during your egg collection. I'm glad they are looking into it for you. For my three collections I had fentanyl amongst other things and I remember absolutely nothing so hopefully they will adjust accordingly for you xx

Try to enjoy your summer, drinking wine, sitting in the sun and enjoying life. It's amazing how much this journey can take from you xx

@CR7 @charja100 thank you lovelies xx

@charja100 I'm so sorry it's been really tough for you. I wish I had the right words xx

Thanks so much ladies for taking the time to comment and give your advise. I reached out for some help & support today to help me through it all. That rooms. Weight off in itself.

But I really don't know what happened it was like I got hit by a bus and just alll got on top of me. I was thinking about it today and was wondering if it was partly to do with the meds? Has anyone else's felt super emotional before a medicated FET?

I'm going to see how I feel and if I need it I'm definitely going to take the time. Thanks for all helping me to realise that it's okay to do that if it's what I need 🙏🏼

@Triselly I'm glad you've taken the time you need, but pleased to see you again 🤗. This journey is so hard we need to celebrate the happy moments we have in between and you're birthday should be one of them. I do understand how hard milestones are though.

You definitely need to make it known how hard your egg collection was. I would also explain that you're having nightmares about it, so they really understand and make the right adjustments.

@RunningOnHope good luck with your next job interview! Such a good distraction!

Not long until transfer @RunningOnHope and @TheBirdintheCave. How are you feeling?

@charja100 Just really, really tired 😓 Only two more sleeps now though!

@TheBirdintheCave this whole process is EXHAUSTING. Pleased that you’re only 2 days until transfer!

Only three days until OTD and symptom tracking has become my new hobby!

@WholeZebra how many days post transfer are you? What day will it be when you test for your OTD?

Have you been tempted to test at all?

@charja100 I’m 7dp5dt and OTD is set for Saturday - all being well I ring the clinic and they set a beta day. I’ve been extremely tempted - I keep getting the feeling as if AF is coming and would have been due yesterday. My brain wants me to test so I’m not blindsided by it all haha!

@WholeZebra my advice would be to not test until you're certain it's either worked or it hasn't. The number of times I've had my heart broken by testing early makes it not worth it.

@SarahShorty i have no intention of testing early :). Sticking it out until OTD.

I agree with @SarahShorty. I tested early and picked up my chemical and I was devastated. I was curious as I've noticed how different OTDs are so keeping an eye

You're doing so great @WholeZebra. It sounds like a fairly early OTD anyway - my clinic does 14 days after transfer - so really wise to wait until they want you to do it!

@RunningOnHope gosh! 14 days! I’m crumbling already and it’s only been 7 days. When is your transfer? Can’t be long.