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Conception

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Original poster

Is 37 too much old to have a third child?

155 replies

summerfinn · 30/04/2023 19:53

Is 37 too risky to have a third child? Are the chance of having a disabled child too high to risk it. Would a healthy 37 year old be putting their health at risk by having another child at this age. Also is it unfair on the child to have an older parent? Thoughts please?

OP posts:
Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 30/04/2023 22:21

Yes she does

rollingpunches · 30/04/2023 22:21

I had my 3rd at 37. The first two were in their teens. He was by far my hardest- reflux, allergies, didn't sleep, gdd, asd. He's wonderful but the past 7 years have aged me considerably.

Taxitaxiforever · 30/04/2023 22:25

Abacusporttaco · 30/04/2023 22:20

You like to say the same thing over and over, don’t you?

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Yes because people are also attacking over and over again…night night .

lunaloveroo · 30/04/2023 22:26

@SemperIdem the figure states 'standardised mean age of mother at child birth'. It doesn't state that this is a first time mother figure.

ttcat37 · 30/04/2023 22:27

@Taxitaxiforever how many times do people have to tell you that this board is full of women with fertility problems before you stop saying “this isn’t insensitive” when it does not apply to you????

Blondeshavemorefun · 30/04/2023 22:31

Unfair on her child to have an older mum

How unfair ? You mean as they might die soon

Sadly I belong to way - there are many parents who die young for whatever reason - cancer - heart attack - suicide - car accident etx

You can't live your life thinking what if I die

But

You can make sure that if something happened to mr blondes and I ,that mini blondes will be cared for / we have guardianship in place - life insurance plus wills and in trust if under 21

Being older I was financially secure - own house - no mortgage - career well established - happy to stay in at weekends (I did all the pubs clubs etx in my 20/30's)

Yes I am older then many of the parents in dd6 class. Some are around my age. Some I could be their mum

aSpanielintheworks · 30/04/2023 22:31

Dc3 at 37, it never crossed my mind I was taking a huge risk. It certainly never felt that way.

Mumof228 · 30/04/2023 22:36

@summerfinn I think that's not a bad age I think I would probably have my third then, my mum was 38 when she had me and I turned out okay I think 😜

GG1986 · 30/04/2023 22:37

Just had my 2nd at 37. Definitely not too old!

Confused19831983 · 30/04/2023 22:47

Hi OP. It is scary when you look at the stats, and also to know that over 35 you are classed as a woman of advanced maternal age, so can totally understand why you have concerns.
But the truth is the vast majority of women your age have perfectly healthy pregnancies.
I am 40 and pregnant with my first and have had a lot of anxiety, but all fine so far (touch wood) at 34 weeks.
As lots of people have said (some in not very nice terms) many mums are way older than you when they get pregnant and have no issues.
It totally depends on your individual circumstances.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

Confused19831983 · 30/04/2023 22:49

RelentlessMother · 30/04/2023 20:56

Must be so hard/annoying to post stuff here.

“are you trying to be deliberately insulting?”

the post isn’t about any of you people. OP is simply asking a question.

you are just ancient and butt hurt.

and no OP you’re fine. My aunt had a baby at 47.

Love this post 😂😂😂

SleepingStandingUp · 30/04/2023 23:09

Stephhh87 · 30/04/2023 21:30

“Blaming DH and his mighty sperm” 😂

did you find it easy to tell your babies apart as newborns? I know someone who has identical twins and the first 3 months they painted the toe nails on one baby so they could tell them apart 😂

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I struggle sometimes at 3 😂😂

First born had a tiny scar due to something when we were in hospital which we used to check who was who until we got better at it. They still respond to each others name and can reach other twin 2s name so they like to make it easy 😂😂 but there's differences in their faces and DEF their personalities

Original poster
summerfinn · 30/04/2023 23:59

ttcat37 · 30/04/2023 21:07

37 too old for a baby? Cheeky fucker.
Read the room!!

😂😂😂 I'm being cheeky for suggesting that me being almost 37 and already has two kids is too old to have a third child. This isn't about anyone else. Or you personally...relax . Why must everyone get offended with everything.. I think this may be my last post on Mumsnet. I'm so sick and trod being attacked for asking a question and opinion that has crossed my mind.

OP posts:
Original poster
summerfinn · 01/05/2023 00:03

sweetcarolinedadada · 30/04/2023 21:34

Medically yes, is it old unfortunately. People can say that they had a healthy baby and were absolutely fine having a baby at 40 etc, but statistically yes you are more likely to have a disabled baby and greater risk to maternal health the older you are. It's not personal and it's not an attack on older mums. It's just medically factually correct.

Thank you. That's exactly what I thought. I do think the overall risk isn't great. It's not ideal to be having children in your 40s for many reasons. Just because you can do it doesn't mean you should I guess. You can't Deny scientific facts. Just because someone is upset at being classed as on older mum.

OP posts:
Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 01/05/2023 01:31

Sounds like you shouldn't tbh.

Your life and you don't seem in a good place to bring a new life into the world. Your last op speaks volumes.

The irony is you're asking in a way you think 37 is old yet you lack maturity.

Sorry op.

wordler · 01/05/2023 02:11

Had my first at 37 - all fine

ttcat37 · 01/05/2023 06:05

summerfinn · 30/04/2023 23:59

😂😂😂 I'm being cheeky for suggesting that me being almost 37 and already has two kids is too old to have a third child. This isn't about anyone else. Or you personally...relax . Why must everyone get offended with everything.. I think this may be my last post on Mumsnet. I'm so sick and trod being attacked for asking a question and opinion that has crossed my mind.

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Yes. Like I said in the post you quoted, read the fucking room! If you weren’t being so insensitive perhaps people wouldn’t have a go!

HistoryFanatic · 01/05/2023 06:12

summerfinn · 01/05/2023 00:03

Thank you. That's exactly what I thought. I do think the overall risk isn't great. It's not ideal to be having children in your 40s for many reasons. Just because you can do it doesn't mean you should I guess. You can't Deny scientific facts. Just because someone is upset at being classed as on older mum.

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Some women spend so many years trying that by the time they manage to conceive they might be in their 40's. Then you wonder why some are offended?

Maybe you should consider, going by your posts, that you really aren't in the best position for another either.

Abacusporttaco · 01/05/2023 06:23

summerfinn · 01/05/2023 00:03

Thank you. That's exactly what I thought. I do think the overall risk isn't great. It's not ideal to be having children in your 40s for many reasons. Just because you can do it doesn't mean you should I guess. You can't Deny scientific facts. Just because someone is upset at being classed as on older mum.

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Also based on your many other threads, you live with your dad, you want to lick your dad out, you don’t work, you’re very depressed and one month ago said you didn’t want to be a mother anymore….

Those are better reasons not to than being 37 and apparently medically ‘too old’…

Abacusporttaco · 01/05/2023 06:23

omg. Kick your dad out.

ParentsTrapped · 01/05/2023 06:51

I don’t think it’s insulting at all. I’ve been thinking exactly the same sort of things - I’m 36, have 2 kids (5 and 2.5) and want a third.

But the risk of twins/additional needs is a concern because it would
impact more on my kids’ lives than a single /non-additional needs child. And that is a risk that increases with age.

I’m in London and it would be absolutely normal to have a child at this age in my circles however. Most of my friends have had their first in the last year or so (at 34-36) so will likely have their second at 37+.

Thirdsummerofourdiscontent · 01/05/2023 06:52

I was 36 for 3rd child and tbh I am the same age as most of her friends Mums.

knobheadex · 01/05/2023 07:13

I had my fourth (unplanned) at 41 and felt pretty worried throughout about the risks. The HC professionals I saw all made it abundantly clear that the chance of abnormalities were higher and also the risks to my own health. I had the Harmony test at 10 weeks and tried to take care of myself. I had regular appointments and scans to monitor the baby. It was a hard pregnancy and although DS is perfect in every way I haven't bounced back as easily this time.

Mutabiliss · 01/05/2023 07:22

I had my first at 37, it's a completely normal age to have a child - all my friends were in their mid to late 30s and many are now having second/third children in their 40s.

I can't imagine having a child at 22, that's ridiculously young.

Mutabiliss · 01/05/2023 07:25

summerfinn · 01/05/2023 00:03

Thank you. That's exactly what I thought. I do think the overall risk isn't great. It's not ideal to be having children in your 40s for many reasons. Just because you can do it doesn't mean you should I guess. You can't Deny scientific facts. Just because someone is upset at being classed as on older mum.

Show quote history

Women have always had children into their 40s, because it's biologically possible and there was no contraception.

Thankfully now we have a choice when we conceive, and for many women later is better because they have more money, experience and agency in their lives.