The geriatric gang 👵🏻🤰

[Stillwinston]

Just a lighthearted thread for those of us now considered to be geriatric by the NHS 😂 looking to meet other women TTC who may also be feeling past their prime!

A little bit about me - I'm 36 and TTC dc no.2. Been trying for over 2 years now and depressingly started AF today so am yet again starting CD1. Hubby doesn't quite understand how upsetting this is each month so it'd be great to chat with ladies who get how I'm feeling ❤️

@EdithGrantham SMEP requires alot of energy 😴

@Stillwinston thank you 😊 I use OPKs to track ovulation, to know when to DTD, but I have such irregular cycles from 32-60 days, knowing when I ovulate also helps know when my period is due!

Haha, yes it sounds like it does, I only meant the idea is simple not the whole DTD so often part!

Thanks @Stillwinston and @cornflakes86 for your kind messages. The tfmr was tough but I feel like we’ve had a fairly healthy mindset about it all: better to find out at the first scan and be able to deliver at 14 weeks than go through it all at a later stage! I’ve tried to keep that same mindset about the chemical: if there was something wrong, better to lose it then than go through all of that process again!

@Mountainview8 have you had a check up as to why your cycles are so irregular?

@Infinitebows try not to worry too much about dtd lots - my first two were conceived when I was married and neither of us had any sex drive at all… we waited until there was some ewcm and did it once. We got lucky twice!

With my current partner there are no issues with sex drive for either of us and we have managed every day during the fertile window some months with no pregnancy.

For me it seems to be much more about timing around ovulation and optimum conditions… I’ve noticed since my chemical I’ve had far less ewcm and I’m wondering if that’s why we’ve not been lucky since.

Keeping my fingers crossed for everyone in this group. I’ve been a serial tester in past months but now I try to just stick with opks and have promised myself to only use a pregnancy test if I’m late. I’m CD5 today so I have plenty of time to pee on opks to keep me busy and distracted for now!

@MK85 I also use the easy@home tests - they’re so much more reasonably priced and I love the app for storing them all. I am a bit of a maths nerd and the graphs make me happy 😂

I’ve also found it interesting that the one time I’ve conceived (though it ended in a chemical) since I’ve started using them, my peak was much higher than on other months.

Afternoon everyone. I had a right sleepless night last night- remembering the pain when a gynae previously tried to take a biopsy of my uterus. I passed out lying down from the pain! It was indescribable. And the HSG is going to be the same again but worse as they’ll be pumping me up with the X-ray juice!
Well I’ve worked myself up into such a state that I’m just too terrified to do it. I’ve called to see if they offer sedation and they don’t. There’s no way I can do it.

@ttcat37 hope you're okay, that sounds super painful and stressful. I wish Mother Nature would be a bit kinder to us and spare this heartache that is TTC.

@Downtherabbithole83 wow that's great to hear thank you! Very lucky with your first two but sorry it's not happening quite so quickly this time. I had way more ewcm before the MC's too so that could be a factor for me though I'd not considered it.

Just wondered anyone else thoughts - my doctor told me (after last MC in Feb) to try and get the sperm up there before the ovulation peak so it there ready to hit the egg as soon as it's released (sorry I'm not technically minded for this stuff - I sound so basic) also easier said than done unless you know when your likely going to ovulate, but then other people suggest it needs to be there 12-36 hours after the ovulation peak to have the best chance. Any thoughts?

@ttcat37 oh lovely, I'm so sorry to hear how awful your previous experience was - no wonder you're nervous about it. I'm surprised they can't give you anything for it though 😕 hoping you're looking after yourself, sending big virtual hugs xx

@Infinitebows I think sperm can survive for a few days so that's why you want to try and dtd just before ovulation if you can time it right. I've clearly not been very successful at getting my timings right though so maybe ignore my advice! 😂

@Infinitebows do you use opks? I know when I’m likely to ovulate because I use the easy@home tests with the free app for scanning them. I tend to know I’ll be ovulating soon once I start getting readings over 0.4/0.5 - because the tests are super cheap I use them two or three times a day when I start to get higher readings.

I know that they say that’s why you should try to make sure it’s there before you ovulate and I believe you ovulate 12-24 hours after your peak LH reading (and the egg can then survive 8-12 hours… maybe? Something like that 🤷‍♀️) I do think it’s so much more complicated than that though… so many factors all contributing to something which is meant to happen ‘naturally’. Can you tell I’ve done too much research on this…?! 😂

Thanks @Infinitebows .

The egg is released 12-36 hours after the peak, the mystery is it could be anywhere within that time! The sperm needs to be there before the egg is released for the best chance. One issue being whether if the peak that you actually catch is your actual peak or just a positive!
Most docs say to have sex every other day or every 2 - 3 days throughout your cycle and this will give you enough of a chance.

@ttcat37 I’m sorry you had such a horrid experience previously. If you explain why you are worried and the experience you had previously, they may be able to do something for you.

Having had various… erm… ‘experiences’ down there I know that they can vary according to who it is doing the procedure. Some things which have been incredibly painful with one person doing it have been much less horrid other times. If you do decide to go ahead with it, be honest about your previous experience and the anxiety it has caused (if possible, in advance) and see what they can offer you. Sending supportive vibes your way xx

@ttcat37 if its any help the procedure is extremely quick. I think the whole thing took about 5 minutes. I admit I found it quite painful but I'm a complete wimp. Id cry even at a paper cut.
I find even the speculum uncomfortable.
When they insert the tubes, it feels alot like bad period pain for a few minutes. They gave me a few moments to rest after that . The worst part was indeed the dye itself. I found it very painful , but I will say that it only lasted a few seconds while it's being injected in. The pain came from around the ovary area, like pressure from within. After a few seconds the pain dies off and they'll make you stay there for a few moments while the xrays are taken and they'll give you a verbal result. I had some very mild period like cramps afterwards, and you may bleed for a few hours but its light. I felt perfectly fine about half hour afterwards. I even managed to go do some shopping straight afterwards . I think I made the mistake of not taking painkillers. I dissolved some paracetamol into a bottle and took it with me but I was too sick from travelling and probably nerves to drink it on the journey there so I'd advise take some painkillers before going in. They do say your more likely to feel pain if theres any blockages and there was a pre exisisting concern over my left fallopian which had been visible on the ultrasound so they presumed it might be a hydrophinx so perhaps the dye flushed it and that's why it may have been more painful for me as some ladies don't feel a thing. My results were clear and both are open so we still don't know the reason for the swelling and I was supposed to have diagnostic laparoscopy but have not proceeded with it yet.
It's honestly extremely quick , I couldn't believe that was it done and its totally worth it finding out. Considering I got pregnant right after it I'd definitely do it all over again. I was really scared too but then I figured if I can't handle this how would i ever handle birthing a child

@Stillwinston 😂 made me chuckle, at this point in the game I'll take any advice whatsoever 😂
@Downtherabbithole83 Ive only been using the clear blue ovulation tests. I see all these little stick pictures on here and I've no idea what they are - I ordered some though as I feel out of the loop a bit and they're arriving tomorrow. I love that you've done all this research so that you can help the likes of me 😂 looking forward to peeing on yet more sticks and checking the results soon 🤣🤣 basically DH needs to get his ass in gear and DTD as much as ever possible around ovulation time because we're obvious not doing it enough as the window can potentially be wider than we thought. Arrggghhh I just want a baby!!! 🤣

@ttcat37 thank you, I think you're right - every 2-3 days would give a much better chance. Gearing myself up for the 'we need to have way more sex' chat 😏

@Infinitebows the advice we were given was to do it every 2 -3 days and sperm can live UPTO 5 days ( although they'd have to be seriously strong little fellers to survive that as I've read a few studies which seem to suggest most sperm live on average half a day to 2 days . When you peak on your ovulation stick you should release an egg anytime within the next 3 days. The 5 days leading upto ovulation the day of ovulation and 1 day after are the days you want to focus on.
We do it 3-4 days if we can be bothered 🥱 until I know I'm getting close to ovulation then do it every other day . Once I get that peak well do it 2 days in a row.
The month we conceived we weren't actually trying . All of a sudden I thought I think I'm ovulating so i randomly went out and bought tests and it was positive. ( Ive never ovulated before) I didn't really know at the time how opks worked but we did it on the day of peak and the day after and that was it and clearly it was enough although i didnt think theyd get there in time ( he has poor morphology)
So for now on I think we'll stick with every other day then every day at ovulation since that's worked for us

@MK85 yeah I've been to the doctors a couple of times about my irregular cycle and spotting between periods, I've had blood tests, ultrasound of my ovaries and cervical check and got no answers!

@Downtherabbithole83 I also love looking at the charts, data and patterns in my apps tracking my cycle. It's helped understanding ovulation but not helped predict how long each of my cycles will be though!

Hi all. Can I join? I’m 37, ttc #1. First fell pregnant in 2020, have had 3 miscarriages and an ectopic which resulted in my tube being removed. Feel like I’m on an uphill struggle. Pre ectopic we were falling relatively quickly but since we have had no luck at all. We have had various tests and did a few letrozole/timed DTD cycles but no luck there and it just added too much stress on us. Sucked any fun of a TTC journey out of it. We took a break and got our lives back a bit, DTD became fun again etc. but now I’m aware of time flying by so I want to track cycles more. It’s just hard to know how to broach the subject with OH as I know he won’t want to go back to the regimented routine. Nor do I, but I don’t think we have the luxury to not. My last couple of cycles have been 40+ days and it’s such a drag!

Sorry for the pity party. I’ll stop that now - I’m here for the lighthearted part. It’s lovely having the support.

Fingers crossed for us all xxxx

@Rainbowwishing no need to apologise. I think we all need to whinge now and again or it would send you mad. It'd incredibly hard , physically and mentally draining isn't it

@Mountainview8 do you chart bbt? I started last month and found it a great tool for predicting when period is going to arrive. I knew it was coming 2 days before it did this month . I dont have the most reliable routine and tempting times are a bit over the place but still found it useful

@Rainbowwishing welcome 😁 I can completely understand why you want to have a moan, you've had a really rough time of it 😔 luckily there are loads of amazing women in this group who totally get how you're feeling and can offer moral support and guidance ❤️ sending lots of positive thoughts your way xxx

@Rainbowwishing I totally get the sucked the fun out of TTC too. I definitely don't have time to take a break so that's just how it is at the moment. I actually dread saying we need to crack on because I've got a static smiley. Then again the next day (which usually doesn't happen) sorry to hear about your MCs and ectopic too.

@MK85 that's interesting and good to know, I always thought hoped due to knowing DH wouldn't want it again so soon if we DTD on peak day we would have it covered but it seems that's if the swimmers are only living maybe half a day or even a day then that could definitely be a game changer as to why we are struggling to get caught. I can't believe I've been so clueless. These forums are a lifeline 💯! I am envious you can get your OH to DTD so regularly. I don't want to lay the pressure on but DH has got to up his game this month.

@MK85 it really is. It’s so easy for people to say to not let it take over or the dreaded ‘relax’ but it’s impossible! Every now and again I have periods of positivity but then something switches and I just feel defeated!

@Stillwinston i get a good feeling about this group. Usually I just read in the shadows but I actually could do with the support. Especially around something like the age side, as I normally feel ancient when I read some other threads. Sending all the positivity to you too.

@Infinitebows I definitely didn’t want to take a break, I’d have kept going. But it really started putting a strain on our relationship so it was definitely needed. I’m grateful for it now, but I’m ready to crack on again. I know what you mean about dreading saying it’s time again, that’s why I’m carefully considering how to go about it. I think I’ll fall back into being a bit obsessed, and even though I try to relax about hitting certain days, I’ll be a crazy mess if we aren’t getting key days in. Ha! What a mad journey.
We were DTD every day at one point, and it’s exhausting and so unromantic. No matter how hard you try and make it romantic, it’s like a chore.

I do agree though, DTD loads is probably actually not always the best thing. I always thought if your OH has good sperm quality, do it as much as you like, but otherwise, every 2-3 days is better as you get the best ones. It’s so easy to think we aren’t doing enough, but when I first got pregnant, I had no idea when I ovulated and we probably only DTD a couple of times around ovulation and it worked. I just like to know I’ve done the most we can. Hard to get it right!