The geriatric gang 👵🏻🤰

[Stillwinston]

Just a lighthearted thread for those of us now considered to be geriatric by the NHS 😂 looking to meet other women TTC who may also be feeling past their prime!

A little bit about me - I'm 36 and TTC dc no.2. Been trying for over 2 years now and depressingly started AF today so am yet again starting CD1. Hubby doesn't quite understand how upsetting this is each month so it'd be great to chat with ladies who get how I'm feeling ❤️

@Rainbowwishing I get that ancient feeling too when reading other threads. I've been on here since around last summer and have been in a few groups but the vast majority are in their 20s /early 30s. I've found it rare to find other women on the far side of 30 and even harder to meet someone in a similar situation as myself ttc#1 at 37. I've found myself in the past having to join 40 + groups for support

@Rainbowwishing welcome to the thread. Totally agree about dtd in a regimented fashion. I hate having to suggest it after a positive opk it feels like such a chore.

Agree with you @MK85 this thread is absolutely great for like minded/aged support. I've struggled to find a thread like it. I'm so thankful to have found this one @Stillwinston
Really hoping we all get some BFP's soon.
@cornflakes86 I hear you! I'm definitely always the instigator anyway but as soon as peak hits I have to ask even more and it's just not fun.

Hi, we’ve been ttc number two for 4 years with 3 miscarriages… 37 and had all the investigations to be told everything’s fine and infertility is unexplained, feeling encouraged reading you stories, please can I join?

@Downtherabbithole83 I noticed the same regarding the peaks. On that one cycle we conceived I had a very strong peak , super dark and unmistakably postive , it registered on pre mom as 2.71 whereas my other cycles are equal to control / just the teeniest bit darker than control and registering low 1.

@Weefreetiffany glad to have you with us 😊 TTC is so heartbreaking at times, really sorry to hear about your losses 🌈💟 x

Aww, thanks @Infinitebows - everyone on this thread is amazing and it's so nice to be able to talk to other women facing the same struggles re. fertility and age. I also have a great feeling that we're going to see some BFPs soon 🤞🤞❤️

It’s so nice to read all your stories and thank you everyone for sharing them. I take my hat off to all of you for your perseverance and positivity especially when you’ve all been through so much. We just have to keep trying!

I got pregnant last year at 42 and naively thought I’d breeze through it. Ever since the resulting MC at 8 weeks I’ve felt way less confident about it all, realising my eggs mustn’t be in great shape now…

I don’t know about any of you but I felt like my body was broken after the miscarriage. It’s taken months to get any sense of where I’m at with my cycles (in my case due to retained product that took months to shed). My hearts sinking a bit reading sperm only live for half a day to two days, I’m banking on strong swimmers this month as I have no idea when I ovulated.

Anyone have phantom pregnancy symptoms during the two week wait? Testing negative but I’ve convinced myself I’m pregnant. 😆

@Maizie83 I swear the TWW is when I invent every "symptom" under the sun - ironically when I successfully conceived my son I had zero symptoms and only did a test to just check before starting IVF. It's funny though; although I know that's the case, I get so disheartened every month when I don't have proper symptoms as I guess I just WANT to feel something now as a validation that it's happening🤦🏼‍♀️

And I totally get what you mean re. feeling broken after miscarriage, it was so hard to explain how I felt to my husband even though he was also devastated and trying in earnest to support me as much as he could.

Sending love and solidarity - our time will come, we just have to keep going ❤️

@Maizie83 do you get in increase in cm down there to give you an indication of when you might be ovulating ? I think ewcm plays an important role in protecting the sperm and extending their lifespan as long as possible . It should increase a few days before you ovulate.
I personally rarely get ecwm , I've only ever had it one month so I'm heavily reliant on opks to tell me when I'm ovulating. It seems alot of women dont get it. From what I can remember only 6% or something of conceptions could be attributed to fertilization by sperm that was three or more days old 💁‍♀️ we were told by fertility that sperm can live upto five days in the right conditions but from the studies I've seen the probability is very low, although not impossible so I guess that's why they say if you have sex in the five days leading upto ovulation there's a chance it could lead to a pregnancy.
They advised us to do the business every two to three days , so we try to aim for that . Once I get my peak we do it that day and the day after. After all that's over we usually take a break until next cycle. It's bloody exhausting trying to keep up with baby making

@Stillwinston the only symptom I had during the tww that I knew i was pregnant was a 'feeling' 😆

Id had numerous blood tests in the past year that confirmed I wasn't ovulating but I randomly thought to myself I think I'm ovulating today so I went out and bought opks and sure enough it was positive. We dtd that night and i know this will sound bat shit crazy but I knew it was finally going to happen. I felt a strange feeling of stillness and calm surrounding me which I know is physically impossible to feel anything and I was just making it up in my head 😁 I took a test on NYE but it was negative but I somehow refused to believe it and tested again a few days later and was positive. I can't tell if I was just very in tune with my body or just completely bonkers.. yeah probably bonkers

Anyone struggle with the whole “healthy lifestyle “ thing . I have a much healthier lifestyle now than I did when I conceived dc 1 and about the same weight. Yet every month I think things like “oh if I hadn’t had that glass of wine maybe I would have got a bfp “ or “maybe it’s cos I’m not getting enough exercise “ and stuff like that. Id say the fact I am struggling to conceive is more likely to be age related but I can’t help having these thoughts then feeling guilty ! I think it makes it difficult to “relax” and not think about ttc also

@cornflakes86 it's so easy to blame ourselves but you've done nothing negative which will have impacted on your fertility - in fact, I reckon having a glass of wine now and again and relaxing is the best way forward!

I'm noticeably bigger than I was before we had my son and even back then the GP advised us to lose weight - I know I'm probably part of the cause but I seem to have so little ability to stick to dieting and healthy eating 🤦🏼‍♀️ The consultant at the EPU said my ovaries looked polycystic when I was scanned following my miscarriage so I'm wondering if that also might have a part to play in my weight struggles 🤷🏼‍♀️

@MK85 that's amazing how in tune you are with your body 😀 and I don't think it's bat shit crazy at all, sometimes I think you just know x

@cornflakes86 I think its hard to be healthy all the time. I've been trying to be as healthy as possible these last few months but I still allow myself treats as otherwise without those endorphins I'd be extremely stressed out which would probably negatively affect conception anyway. I had that discussion with myself at easter "maybe I shouldn't have eaten those easter eggs " for a few days I blamed myself and my diet as a possible reason for nothing happening this month . I have pcos which i know is fuelled by sugar. On the other hand I personally have known a few women who got pregnant without intention and they have the most horrendous diets /overweight/ underweight / alcohol addictions and it didn't prevent pregnancy occurring.
I can't stand hearing doctors bang on "if you just lost the weight youd get pregnant" . I know that's especially not true as I was ideal bmi / in good shape in my 20s and i still couldn't even get pregnant then.
Im shoving everything I possibly can into my body , avocados , nuts and seeds, supergreen this , superberry that .. if I eat one more sprout ill bloody turn into one so if I want to have a donut I'm going to have a donut .
I need to get my ass into gear this week tho as I'm expecting to hear from the fertility clinic anyday now and they told me I need to be a specific weight by my next appointment in order to proceed 🙉

@cornflakes86 i think this is something that has driven me mad before. One of the turning points in all this becoming too much was when I said about reducing my training. I’ve always trained and love it, but after stopping drinking anything, taking countless expensive supplements, choosing positions to be the best to conceive (romance!), OH eventually said enough was enough. I then realised I was pretty miserable, and this could take a while yet. Am I going to spend an indefinite amount of time like that - no. It’s so hard because you read so many things, but I definitely agree, you need to be happy and have the things that make you feel good. I really believe that.
when I did conceive, I was drinking, training, everything normal. In fact, talking about being in tune with your body @MK85 , first time I conceived I took a test because I was training and had some heavy lifts, and they felt easy! That was not normal for me, so I tested and there it was. So it’s funny that I had made no changes, took no supplements, and it happened then.

I also still do have the guilt of having wine or whatever, but honestly, I think we are being way too hard on ourselves. As if this isn’t hard enough without taking away the things that we enjoy and that make us feel relaxed!

@MK85 I’m now longing for that zen like feeling of knowing if happened! I love that!

@Stillwinston thanks ! It is so easy to blame ourselves when a lot of this is outside our control

Hello 👋 would it be ok for me to join... although I may be the oldest on here 😊

44 and TTC number 2.
For those of you in your late 30's....I fell
Pregnant with DD1 when I was 39, gave birth 2 weeks after I tuned 40! So it can be done!

As for me now...TTC number 3 for just over a year now...may be too late. IVF not an option....

Interesting reading the comments about times TTC and timings...I'm using Flo App and OPKs on occasion. Clearblue digital is expensive!

Here's to baby dust to all.

Oops...should read TTC number 2 not 3!

@cornflakes86 I agree with other posters that conception happens when you're least expecting it and eating as you normally would. I eat a lot of crap (takeaways, chocolate, sweets & biscuits are all a big big part of my diet) I do cook one decent meal per day for our tea but the rest I graze on shit all day (WFH) I maintain a size 10/12 but I know because of my diet I'm physically not as healthy as lots of people heavier/bigger than me. I can get pregnant but I can't make them stick past 8 weeks so I eat/drink how I normally would until I find out I'm pregnant then I cut back and eat better. It's easy to beat yourself up about these things but honestly I wouldn't blame your diet or a glass of wine or two.
Hi @lemontrees22 I'll be 44 by the time I have a baby (if I conceive again soon 🤞🏼) xx

Thanks @lemontrees22 for the hope.
Wishing you best of luck

It definitely does happen when your least expecting it. December was the one month I truly wasn't initally thinking about trying to get pregnant as we were going through a very stressful period with our house that we wanted to get resolved first and we had planned on starting clomid in January anyway so figured we would take a break until after christmas but all of a sudden I started ovulating for the first time.

I knew it from day one of my period that month felt different and we did ponder cracking on with the clomid but ultimately decided to wait the few weeks. I think everything was perfectly aligned in my body to conceive. I do wonder sometimes if i took clomid that month if it would have strengthened the egg or maybe i might of had a back up egg. I often feel really messed up down there all the time and the whole of last cycle I had period like cramps that lasted the entire month. I already feel were off to a terrible start again this month. Period has been very light and I'm now on cd3 ( usual would be 5 or 6 with regular flow) but its completely stopped. I've already started clomid yesterday so I'll have to continue but I can't help but wonder if that means I'm not shedding my old lining. I presume that can affect implantation. Makes me wanna cry and eat a tub of Ben and Jerrys 😆 ill have to muster the strength to stick with my salad today

@Infinitebows I've read that your egg actually starts developing months ahead ( just like sperm renews every 3 months ) so what your eating / taking now will affect your egg health in the months to come .
So really all the healthy eating I've been doing this week is doing feck all for my eggs this month 😒

The diet and exercise thing is so difficult and just another stress - when I conceived my first two I was definitely slimmer than I am no but like @Infinitebows I was still eating plenty of crap food (I have such a sweet tooth!) and I guess I just got lucky genetics-wise.

Now I would say I still eat way too much sugar but my diet in general is much better and I eat a lot more fresh, healthy foods and yet it’s now I’m finding it more difficult to get pregnant. I am about a stone heavier than I was when I got pregnant before but I’m still a size 12 so not really overweight…

I’ve been worried about doing too much exercise while ttc as I enjoy running but there’s all kinds of conflicting advice over whether running too far during the tww can affect implantation.

I’ve now got to the point where I’ve decided I can’t let it affect all areas of my life - this cycle I’ve decided to continue to try and cut down the sweet snacking (because that’s better for me anyway) but I don’t worry about my meals/desserts. I’ve also decided I’ll run 3-4 times a week because I figure that’s better for my stress levels and well-being anyway. I’m trying to limit my ttc focus to opks and tracking. I’m also going to try using conceive plus again just in case it helps with having less ewcm (so maybe less easy for the swimmers 😂).

I think these threads show so clearly how you can do EVERYTHING right and it still not have the desired outcome straight away and can end up having a really negative impact on life in general so try to only make changes that you’re happy with/don’t make things worse for you (I know that’s easier said than done).

Wow… this became an essay! I have everything crossed that we get some BFPs this month. Where in your cycles is everyone? I’m CD6 according to my app…