The geriatric gang 👵🏻🤰

[Stillwinston]

Just a lighthearted thread for those of us now considered to be geriatric by the NHS 😂 looking to meet other women TTC who may also be feeling past their prime!

A little bit about me - I'm 36 and TTC dc no.2. Been trying for over 2 years now and depressingly started AF today so am yet again starting CD1. Hubby doesn't quite understand how upsetting this is each month so it'd be great to chat with ladies who get how I'm feeling ❤️

@polkadotpixie welcome 😊 your journey sounds very similar to mine, it's so disheartening isn't it 😕 will keep my fingers crossed for you for this month x

@Rainbowwishing are you serious? How can they legally get away with that considering you can technically have kids until menopause - surely they could be done for ageism? 😤

@Irishgirl2015 so sorry to hear you're out but completely agree that 2024 will be our year ❤️

@Stillwinston its infuriating isn’t it. Apparently the general rule is you get 3 goes until you’re 40, and one if you’re over 40, before 41 or something like that.
But not here, you have to have started ivf before your 35th birthday. I think it’s mad. Generally people who turn to IVF will do so because they’ve tried for a while, so surely they are cutting off most people!?

And I agree ladies, it’s 2024 🤞🏼🤞🏼❤️ xx

@MK85 That’s really bad. If they aren’t going to both even contacting you to clear you then how are you ever meant to be able to try?? They’re actually hindering you now, at least without the clomid you could try throughout the month, now they’re just preventing you from even having a chance? I’d probably do the same in your shoes to be honest!

Hope everyone’s doing well today. I’m just getting ready for my HSG which is at 1.30 😳 having a bath to try and relax a bit then taking a diazepam and some painkillers. Dreading it but this time tomorrow it’ll be over so deep breaths…

@ttcat37 Good luck , hope it goes well

Thanks @MK85 . Just got back. It didn’t hurt that much! I was so nervous and cried beforehand 🙈 but the tube going in barely hurt and the liquid going in just felt like a series of strong period cramps. I felt a bit silly afterwards! After all that! And, diazepam doesn’t appear to do much for me… it made to talk slowly for about 30 minutes and not much else! Fallopian tubes were clear apparently but will get the full results when I see my consultant again.

@ttcat37 thats great news.
I think they are probably used to it. When I had it done, I recall my legs going into a nervous spasm and shaking uncontrollably.
I felt so much relief when I heard my tubes were open as I knew it meant at least getting pregnant naturally wouldn't be completely impossible. It gave me the motivation I needed to keep trying while we awaited help. To be honest we kinda gave up over the lockdowns. It slowed our referral down ( referred since early summer 19 and only got seen march 23)
I completely gave up mentally and physically trying to get pregnant as I just thought it's hopeless. Got to a point where we barely had sex anymore. Once I got the referral last march it hit me really hard that ive wasted those few crucial years of my 30s. Arrgh. I beat myself up over it everyday thinking maybe if we'd just kept trying. I also hold a lot of anger towards my gp as I went 2 years without a period before covid hit and she just left to suffer mentally by myself . It's crazy that we started this whole process of trying to get help when I was 33 , and now I'm 37. Admittedly, I probably do need some kind of therapy 😆 as I hold so much anger feeling like those years have been taken from me. I do think negatively alot of the time that those years could have been the tipping factor between becoming a mother and not. I hear the tick tock biological clock everyday. The only positive I can say is that the past year , going through this whole process of appointments ect has really brought us closer together as a couple. I feel more supported by him. Were together 19yrs this summer and I don't think we've ever dtd so much in our lives 😆

@MK85 lockdowns have ruined so many lives in so many ways. I'm sorry it's taking so long for you.

@MK85 what a rubbish time, sorry it's still going on! and Lockdowns did really not help! So infuriating, don't blame you on the therapy, i think everyone probably needs some! When I tried I didn't find the woman that helpful but i believe it's good if you get a good one! Don't count yourself out yet, i'm about to turn 38 and we've only just started trying really so I hope it's still possible! I know what you mean about the clock though! I wish I could be 10 years younger! Its lovely that your partner is being supportive though!

@MK85 it’s hard not having regrets, but who knows how things would have gone if you had continued to intensely TTC for the whole period and through lockdowns where things were just shit anyway. Without all that on top. Having sex becomes a bit contrived when you both know that you wouldn’t usually be having sex so much but it’s got an end goal which isn’t either of your enjoyment really (and I am speaking from experience!). It puts strain and pressure on both of you. So I totally get the feeling of not wanting to bother when it feels like you’ve tried so hard.
It sounds like you’ve been so let down by your GP and current consultant so it’s no wonder you’re angry. I’m feeling positive today so will say we’re 37, still young, still time. And most importantly you have a great partner. And re the therapy, I have had loads of therapy and I find it so helpful, I definitely recommend it if you haven’t had it before and feel like you might need it.

Thanks girls. I've found this thread incredibly supportive also. I've been on quite a few over the past year but have never found one as comforting at this. I think it also helps my anxiety quite a bit knowing there's quite a lot of women my age still trying for family

@ttcat37 glad to hear the test wasn’t too bad for you. Wishing you lots of luck now!

@mk85 glad it went well - fingers crossed for this cycle 😊

And we got this ladies! You've all helped me massively already; it's been nice to find such a supportive and like-minded group of individuals all going through the same thing ❤️

Meant @ttcat37 re. the procedure 🤦🏼‍♀️

@cornflakes86 thank you. I did an ovulation test today and it’s very positive so even though I’d prefer a day off TTC I think a day off will have to wait!

thank you @Stillwinston

I am almost 42 and seeing out a miscarriage. Just made a thread about “to do or not to do” — if I get lucky it would be my 4th.

AF just arrived so I’m out this month. I’m not surprised. I can’t imagine myself ever getting pregnant at this point. Also the due date from my missed miscarriage is in may. I really hoped id be pregnant by now. I wish I had not read the whole “you are more fertile after a miscarriage thing “. Maybe some people are but I’m clearly not.

oh @cornflakes86 I'm really sorry to hear this and totally understand how you feel - my due date would have been on Monday if my pregnancy had worked so I know how disheartening it really is. I hope you're looking after yourself, TTC with unexplained infertility is soul destroying - sending virtual hugs 💕

@Stillwinston thanks stillwinston. I’ve cheered up a bit now. I’m glad I found this thread it’s the first thread I’ve ever followed properly. Hope there are some bfps here soon !

Sorry to hear that @cornflakes86. It’s like a sucker punch every month isn’t it. 💐

@ttcat37 thanks. Yes it really is.

@cornflakes86 sorry to hear AF arrived. Never gets any easier. I know what you mean about feeling like it won’t happen. I try and be positive but feel like a fraud even discussing the possibility of it happening. Then I feel negative, and the cycle goes on….

I think I ovulated yesterday, and don’t think we covered ourselves as much as I’d have liked. But nothing I can do now, so will just keep everything crossed for the next 2 weeks

This group really is amazing. Makes me feel less alone xxx

@Rainbowwishing thanks and wishing you good luck with this cycle !

Anyone else look at pregnant women with two three kids in tow and think "Can I please borrow your fertility for a little while?" or is it just me? TTC is SO HARD 😩

Sorry to hear that AF arrived @cornflakes86; even when you are expecting it, it doesn’t make it any easier when it arrives.

My due date from my tfmr is also in May. So weird thinking I’d have been on maternity leave now. Like you, I’d desperately hoped to be pregnant before my due date and that seems very unlikely now.

I hope it happens for you next month xx