The geriatric gang 👵🏻🤰

[Stillwinston]

Just a lighthearted thread for those of us now considered to be geriatric by the NHS 😂 looking to meet other women TTC who may also be feeling past their prime!

A little bit about me - I'm 36 and TTC dc no.2. Been trying for over 2 years now and depressingly started AF today so am yet again starting CD1. Hubby doesn't quite understand how upsetting this is each month so it'd be great to chat with ladies who get how I'm feeling ❤️

Thanks @Maizie83 - I’m pretty sure I’m out. Still no sign of my period but I expect it’s not far away. Day 28 today and I generally have a 28/29 day cycle. There wasn’t as much of a squinter of a line when I tested yesterday evening so between that and the cramps I’d say I’m done. Now time to get myself (and DH) going for yet another month. It’s just so tough living in constant 1 month cycles isn’t it.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you - did you test again today?

@cornflakes86 - so tough. I know it gets to my husband too but I think because they aren’t watching the days tick by and waiting constantly for the next symptom they don’t have the same pressure at all.

@MK85 - thanks 😊. Great having a place to vent and people that understand here. All my friends and family just decided they wanted to be pregnant and hey presto so they don’t get it at all. My FIL actually said to me at the weekend “all that little fella (my 2 year old) needs is someone to play with” 😡. Like wtf. We were 10 years married when he came along - he might be old but surely even he figured out there might have been something amiss…. How did your scan go after that? Really annoying to be left waiting that long - is that on the NHS or privately?

@Infinitebows thank you so much. I’m 99% sure I’m out but no period yet so I supposed technically there is hope. The negative test yesterday prob confirmed it but we will see I guess. You do hear of people who don’t test positive until after their period is overdue (not that I have been googling that out anything 😂.

@Stillwinston thanks too - great to have people rooting for you that get how tough it all is.

But I will post an update once something happens!

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

I’ve been round the block on TTC for a long time so if I can be of any help to anyone just shout!

@Stillwinston - totally get that feeling. You want to be happy for them but also just wonder why not me this time. It’s natural and totally normal. I used to get annoyed with myself on this for ages and then went as far as removing myself and distancing myself from announcements / kids birthdays etc. Came full circle eventually but that takes time (and in my case some actual therapy!).

@Irishgirl2015 I did, not FMU but POAS twice and nothing, not even a squinter. Yesterdays test was a sensitive one, and I'm just doing the standard Boots ones from now on. I'm now 11 DPO (and that's a rough estimate, honestly you ladies are so on it with OPKS and BBT etc, I'm taking a leaf out of your book next month! ). Tested positive at 11/ 12 DPO on previous pregnancies, so I'm prety sure I'm out. Going to try and wait until Sunday to test again, doubtful though. My cycles are usually 25-26 days and I'm on day 27 now.

@Maizie83 The waiting is just killer isn’t it. At this stage I just want it to arrive so I can get on with (unless I’m the highly unlikely event of course I’m actually pregnant on which case I can live with another few days 🤣). Last time for me I only did a test as my period was a few days late (wasn’t tracking or following) and I had crazy sore boobs so I can’t compare.

I have everything crossed for you - would be great to get our first good news story on the thread!

Sorry for all the typos 🙈

@Irishgirl2015 Thank you! I have everything crossed for you too, and being Irish too lets pretend that the "luck of the Irish" is an actual legit thing this month and not just a dumb expression! 😀

@Infinitebows I do think bbt is useful for confirming when you've actually ovulated since times can really vary. You can release the egg upto 3 days after your LH surge. After its release it survives upto 24hrs so technically there's still time to catch the egg. They do say your should dtd one day after ovulation. Last month I had a peak on 26th night/27th but according to bbt it didn't rise until 29th.
In dec I got my peak on 20th morning and we didn't dtd til 21st morning and 22nd and it worked for us.
I definitely think bbt is another useful tool but it's definitely a bit of a torture having to remember to temp when you first wake up

Today I'm having one of those days 😪 I just feel like giving up. I haven't felt like that in quite a while.
I just feel incredibly frustrated with the care I've been receiving. So ladies i had my scan today. Waited hours as the doctor had appointments and was in surgery. The nurse ( ill call her a nurse as ive no idea what her job title actually is) told me the consultant refused to see me ( hes being an absolute bollox lately doing this. Last time he did the same thing and I waited 2 hours for a doctor to specifically drive 30 miles from another hospital to see me, he just refuses to see me face to face which i think i know why) so i had to wait for an alternative doctor today yet again . The first thing the doctor mentioned to me was that they booked me in way too early and that we won't be able to see anything as its only day 9. They won't offer me another scan and I feel in limbo as I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. He did the scan anyway and no follicles but he did say too early. Basically I have to continue this cycle now not knowing if I'm responding to the dose at all or if it needs increased. Im also running the risk of over stimulating and not knowing. They didn't know what I should do next . I have to have a blood test on day 21 to see if I've ovulated but because I have irregular cycles he wants me to do a second a week later. The problem is gp won't deal with this side of things ( not her field) but yet consultant that I was referred to won't deal with me either so no one knows how I'll get my results or who will advise me what to do next. They also didn't know who will give me my month 2 clomid prescription . The way it was left , the nurse in epu told me telephone her few days after bloods. She said " i shouldn't be doing this at all "and that "we'll just have to keep it quiet". she said she felt how I've been treated thus far is unfair. I'm not sure I really want to put her in that kinda situation. The whole point of the monitoring scan was exactly that. Also we were told NOT to dtd until the scan gave me the go ahead incase we produce too many follicles in which case the cycle would be cancelled. So basically I don't know what we're supposed to do. Do we just dtd anyway if we get a positive test 🤔 as no one can tell us now if she should or not. funny how consultants letter told us well advise you on next steps yet they are just as confused what I'm meant to do now.
Partner was quite angered by it tonight and he said he's going to ring the consultants secretary tomorrow and complain.
Why do they make everything so difficult 🤬 I honestly don't know how much longer I can deal with these cowboys.
Sorry for the long rant. No one knows we're seeking treatment so I don't have anyone to vent to .

On another note. Both previous scans in oct and feb were fine but today when the nurse saw my womb she made a comment "your wombs not too thick now " it's just the way she said it , and I brought this up to my partner aswell and he agrees. The way she said it was like she was implying my lining is thin. Doctor didn't say anything but he did take a measurement of the lining which was odd as no one else done that on previous scans and he mumbled something about so they know this. He was mumbling away whole time and by the end I completely forgot that I hadn't asked him about my lining. Sometimes I walk away with more questions than answers that I completely forget to ask.
Do any of you ladies know whether your lining thickness fluctuates from cycle to cycle? As I'm wondering why no none picked it up before. My period this month was very very light lasting half the usual length so I'm wondering if theres a relation. I'm concerned now there might be an issue with my lining. Gosh it's always one thing after another 🙄

@MK85 I'm so sorry you had such a shit appointment, they sound like a bunch of clowns. You should definitely complain, it's so upsetting when you're trying to push and be proactive but people put blockers in your way which you have no control over 😩 could you try and see if you can get a second opinion? Really hope you're looking after yourself today, I think it's vitally important that we also practice a bit of self-care and love during these crazy difficult periods 💕 x

@Maizie83 @Irishgirl2015 you're not out until AF shows! I'm definitely keeping my fingers crossed for some luck of the Irish, would be lovely to see a positive on this thread soon 🍀🤞😊

How's everyone else doing? I think today is officially ovulation day so heading into the TWW - I feel like this pre-ovulation stage has been ridiculously long this time so I'll be going stir crazy by the time AF is due to arrive 😕 x

@MK85 that sounds like an awful experience sorry to hear that. Sounds like a very disorganised department. It’s just ridiculous that they can’t tell you what to do next . I am sorry I don’t have experience so don’t have advice to offer on clomid. The only thing I can think of is to phone the secretary, explain how upset you are and that you aren’t sure what you should do next and see if they can bring your queries to the consultant. Is there any other consultant you could go to ?

@Stillwinston good luck with the tww I’m about half way through mine now.

Thanks @cornflakes86 😊 How are you feeling?

@Stillwinston the same as ever ! I hate to sound so negative but I’m so used to the disappointment now I’m already gearing myself up for it :(

Happy Friday everyone hope you all have nice distracting activities planned for the weekend!

Spoke to his secretary and she told me she'd get him to phone me this afternoon but he never bothered his arse . Im planning on writing him a letter and leaving with the hospital with all the concerns that need promptly addressed. If he dosent respond I'm not sure what my next step would be. I'm pondering writing a complaints letter.
Today I've felt emotionally and physically just drained. I could barely summon the strength to get out of bed today so I think I'll take the weekend just to relax.

@mk85 you should speak to the hospital PALS team and put in a formal complaint, it's ridiculous how badly you've been treated 😔

Hello everyone, @MK85 sorry to hear about your awful experience, they really do get it wrong sometimes. I’ve been through all the tests and an mri to be told it’s unexplained infertility. They can’t tell me why I can conceive quite easily but keep miscarrying by week 6. Today I’m 12dpo and have nausea and tender boobs… this is how my other pregnancies have started, including the 3 miscarriages I’ve had while trying to ttc this time. surely it’s too early for nausea? I want to be hopeful but also don’t want to get my hopes up.

@Weefreetiffany keeping everything crossed for you!

this month has been a psychological roller coaster. My period is late, but they’re all over the place still, so I don’t even know if that’s strictly true. Nothing but BFNs despite the belief that I’m pregnant being totally cemented in my head. I feel really down today, and like there’s no hope. Keep googling success stories of BFPs at 15Dpo etc, but at some point in the next few days I just need to cut myself off. I haven’t done an FRER, but don’t want to spend £7 to confirm something I already know deep down. What a crap feeling. Hoping you all have more success than me this month.

@Maizie83 keeping fingers crossed🤞 for you. I've heard of people testing positive at 18dpo.
Ive spent a fortune on frers and clearblue. I found the boots tests were decent enough. I think they are currently half price also

@Weefreetiffany I'm sorry to hear of your recurrent miscarriages. That must be devastating to go through each time. I've heard lots of positive stories of full term pregnancies after several miscarriages so dont give up hope. I hope your getting plenty of support.

@Weefreetiffany keep us posted, that sounds very promising! Would be amazing to have our first positive on the thread ❤️

@Maizie83 you could have possibly implanted later so you never know 🤞I've vowed to just use the internet cheapies this month as I'm fed up on wasting good money every month 🤦🏼‍♀️

Wow - I’ve had a busy few days so haven’t been able to get on here and there are so many messages to catch up on!

So sorry to hear that so many of you are having such a difficult time. @MK85 your experience just sounds awful - the last thing you need! I hope you get some answers soon.

@Weefreetiffany my friend went through multiple miscarriages - all between 6 and 9 weeks. The NHS couldn’t explain why but she felt that there must be a reason and paid to go private - a specialist somewhere in London - and they ended up discovering that there was a reason (I can’t remember what - sorry) and was told next time she found she was pregnant, she was to get a prescription for a particular medication straight away and had to inject herself every day until quite a long way into the pregnancy. It worked and she got her rainbow baby! There is always hope.

I’ve had a weird one this month - not expecting my peak until tomorrow but last night I got a reading of just over 1 on my easy@home tests and now it’s going down again. I usually get peaks of at least 1.5 so not sure why it’s so much lower this month… the time I conceived it was a really clear and high spike of almost 2 so not holding out much hope for this month.

I have my fingers crossed for all of us!