POAS: Showers Quickies and Rainbow Babies 🌈 💛💜

[FfoxRedN]

Ok here goes!
Advanced apologies if I miss you in the first message 😆

@MrsJGrealish @bringmearainbow @TheBirdintheCave @emhope @Indianna2006 @LuckyMoonstone @Alexis7890 @bunnykins123 @calimc83 @curliegirlie

@bringmearainbow No I don't mind you saying that at all! I felt so rough yesterday that when I woke up this morning not feeling AS bad I started to panic 🤦🏼‍♀️.
I don't want to be ill, but I wish it would come back 😩 xx

@LuckyMoonstone 🤣🤣🤣 we must be in sync!! X

@FfoxRedN haha I thought we’d all been a bit quiet!
It’s mad how you start wishing you’d feel unwell 😅

Hey girls!! Hope you are all ok xx

Finally worked out what's wrong with me, I peaked at CD4 this cycle 😂 wtf like..actually think it might be peri menopause starting 🙄 I googled.

@LuckyMoonstone I was at work yesterday so just work drama. Me and one other person then this man decided to ring and complain for 50 MINUTES why we didn't leave his delivery the same way Amazon do 😩🤦‍♀️

@MrsJGrealish oh wow that is strange?! Do you still have the appointment with your GP? Even if not for your TTC journey but just for your own well-being maybe they can do some tests?

xx

@FfoxRedN I've seen her lovely. Haven't made the blood test appointment yet but I'm on a list for the ultrasound. Honestly I'm grand. I kinda think ttc took over the grief from the miscarriages so I'm dealing with that atm Xx

@MrsJGrealish do you test throughout your cycle then?

I ordered some more OPKs as my subscription ones had fallen through a weird Amazon black hole, got a peak yesterday and so yet again I'm going to be in the position of simultaneously hoping for a BFP and wondering how on Earth I explain the fact I haven't stopped TTC for the past 8 months or however long it's been that DH hasn't really been in the same page. I desperately need to sort out these communication issues....

@curliegirlie my bleed stopped last night after 3 days and I felt weird. Not usually x

@curliegirlie where did the OPKs go? Can you check the order? That man complaining that our shop aren't as good as amazon would not have been happy if his meds went awol

I'm confused 🙈 do you just not mention it with DH? He must realise why. Yes I'm all over you tonight for no reason at all 🤣

@MrsJGrealish sounds like a right nause 😂 what will the ultrasound be looking for?
@curliegirlie have you just been tracking your cycle and thinking about fertile windows etc yourself without really mentioning it to DH so he’s not like aware when your fertile or feeling the pressure

I’ve just had a big roast pork dinner cooked entirely by DH 👍👍 now enjoying a cuppa while he bathes DS. Will watch BGT tonight when he’s in bed. It’s such a load of shit now but I can’t help watching it, I don’t want to miss out 😅

It was weird with the subscription order. It suddenly decided the night before it was due to be delivered that "customer had requested rescheduled delivery" and put the delivery date at April 2025!! Then, I contacted customer services and they just cancelled delivery altogether, so I reordered. Bizarre.

As for DH, no idea. I think we've both been avoiding talking about things properly, as what has been said has just been through off hand comments, e.g. the first was DH one day saying he thought 3 would be too much for us, just as I was walking out of his office, another time he's mentioned car seats, but at the same time he must have noticed that I've never mentioned going back on contraception or anything 🤷‍♀️ I realise this all makes me "that woman", going behind DH's back TRC, but I guess I'm scared that if we have a proper conversation about it, he'll reiterate that he doesn't want another and that will be that. All supremely stupid on my part, I know.

@LuckyMoonstone yeah. I mean that's kind of always the way I approached things even back in the days when we were both fully signed up to the whole TTC thing. I thought there was no point in piling in additional pressure during the fertile window. He just knew when nothing was happening (the joys of long term TTC....).

@LuckyMoonstone the maybe fibroid that was noted on the second miscarriage. Hopefully it was just retained tissue that has gone but the fact I had stopped bleeding made them question that. Not that anyone mentioned it till I saw the dr 🙄 There's probably no point anymore since I'm not ttc but my sister had a cancerous fibroid and needed a hysterectomy 17 years ago so there's always that in my head🥲

@curliegirlie no it definitely doesn't make you that woman. My DH knows my coil was removed and I'm not on contraception. If I take any meds long term I talk about it ❤️ (he might not listen🤷‍♀️)

@LuckyMoonstone she was only 30. It was an awful time.

Evening ladies sorry been so quiet I've been trading at a craft fair all weekend and my god I am shattered I got into bed about 15 mins ago with my hot water bottle 😂

@FfoxRedN good luck tomorrow lovely what time is your scan?

@MrsJGrealish wow CD4 😳 we have 3 ladies in my office who are peri and 2 going through the menopause it's such a fun time going to work 🙈 that customer sounds like a nutter 😂 not what you need

@curliegirlie I mean he's not silly he knows your not on contraception so anything can happen it's a hard spot to be in and must be causing you some real stress ❤️

@LuckyMoonstone ooh I didn't realise bgt is back on I might have to catch a few of those

@bringmearainbow I know so random..still a faint hcg hopefully it's just that..🙏 I'm not ready!!

Aww lovely sleep well xx

@FfoxRedN good luck tomorrow ❤️

@MrsJGrealish @bringmearainbow thank you, annoyingly it's not until 5pm as I had to wait for a time when DH is home from work. Getting paranoid about symptoms which I know isn't healthy but it's totally involuntary.

@MrsJGrealish sorry to hear about what your sister has been through, all the more reason to still push forward with tests though to get to the bottom of it, if even to put your mind at ease of the worry 😘 xx

@bringmearainbow was the fair successful for you?

@curliegirlie we do what we have to, to get through life, I'm sure you're not alone and neither is your DH in the communication stakes. I hope you can sort through and be happy with whatever decision you both come too, when the time comes xxx

@MrsJGrealish ah I’m sorry your sister went through that. Checking it out will give you peace of mind I’m sure. I think I might have missed some of the convo, what has happened since your last positive test? Some bleeding?

@curliegirlie you’re not exactly going behind his back if he’s not using protection and he knows you aren’t either! I get why you are nervous to have ‘the conversation’ though, I hope you find the right time to have it

@FfoxRedN Everything crossed for tomorrow! 😬

Today we bought G a balance bike which he is in love with. I also finished the first of his summer outfits (bar the buttons as my buttonholer is broken).

I've got my baseline scan tomorrow so get to see my insides again 😂 Fun times.

@TheBirdintheCave that’s adorable!

@FfoxRedN good luck for tomorrow!

@TheBirdintheCave that outfit is so cute! Lovely that DS is enjoying his balance bike. DD2 loves her bike and scooter!

@TheBirdintheCave you're so talented!! That's bloody amazing!

@LuckyMoonstone 8dpo faint/evap ic, 9dpo faint/indent FRER. 12dpo bleed started. Took another IC but honestly the pee was blood soaked so useless. Bleeding tailed off yesterday afternoon. So 2 full days. Woke this morning a bit crampy and sore boobs and got a peak on lh test. Automatically tested for hcg (I have many of these bloody tests) and another faint line. No more bleeding since yesterday. It may well return.

I shut down a bit on Thursday so I don't think I put the story out.

Yes she was diagnosed when my daughter was born so I named DD after my sister xx

@curliegirlie if he knows you he knows you want this. Avoid the conversation if need be. I was actually messaging you on this thread and DH says who are you talking to. I said to him. He actually said no you're right. 'If you're on contraception I would obviously know' really hope this is your positive cycle lovely 🤷‍♀️😘

I never dealt with the loss of miscarriage 1 and when it happened I went through motions at work but went home and cried for hours. Sometimes I cried in work silently. I actually hadn't heard of mumsnet then. I knew another try would help take my mind off it. Now I need to be able to look at my scan photo. It hurts me to even look near the place I put it. I'm trying to deal with the loss now and I will Xx