POAS: Showers Quickies and Rainbow Babies 🌈 💛💜

[FfoxRedN]

Ok here goes!
Advanced apologies if I miss you in the first message 😆

@MrsJGrealish @bringmearainbow @TheBirdintheCave @emhope @Indianna2006 @LuckyMoonstone @Alexis7890 @bunnykins123 @calimc83 @curliegirlie

Oh why is that @TheBirdintheCave? What's happened? 😢 I hope you're ok.

AF rocked up today as expected, despite O, O-1 and O-2. It's particularly dispiriting when you know you can't have done any more....

They won't explain why. They just keep insisting I have to have a baseline scan (which can only be done on certain cycle days) but can't tell me why it's medically relevant to the transfer (as it would be happening in a different cycle). I've already had two baseline scans with my clinic. I don't know why they can't use that information 🤷🏻‍♀️

@FfoxRedN ahh amazing news lovely 🥰 so pleased for you. @MrsJGrealishhopr u have the best time in Portugal...I'm not a bit jealous! 😆 x

@TheBirdintheCave sorry lovely but why would having this scan mean they won't transfer?!
Surely they're scanning to check your lining is ready and suitable for implantation? Xx

@FfoxRedN Ok so. I am on CD7. They want me to wait until next cycle to start the process, fair enough.

To me, start the process means call up on next CD1 and book a scan for CD10 as per their instruction leaflet.

To them, start the process means call up on CD1 and book a scan for some time between CD18-25. THEN wait for another CD1 before booking a scan for CD10. With my length of cycles this is a disaster.

Their method includes a pointless scan which doesn't factor into the actual transfer cycle and just wastes a month of my time for no reason.

Is there no way you can just have the scan CD 17 if you're sure if your dates? I imagine it's something to do with your ovulation but have you asked if these are essential to the transfer? I know you struggle with phone calls but unless you ask and insist you don't want the scans time wise or financially, you won't know what their answer is?
It can't be worth giving up all you've put into the journey already before asking xx

For example I would say to them I'll have a scan this CD 18, ready for CD 10 scan next month which would fit with your timescale and holiday hopefully. Or scan CD 10 this month ready for transfer if that's doable. I can't see a medical reason for them to scan at CD1, remember you are paying for this service so you get to ask the questions why and disagree if it's not what's right, or what's written in their programme (unless there's a genuine medical reason for it!) xx

@FfoxRedN I asked three times yesterday and they just ignore my question and keep saying I need to book the baseline scan. It's awful. No one will tell me why a baseline scan is medically necessary.

Can't do it this month as they wanted a one month gap after egg collection to let my body recover. Plus we're in Italy 🙄

@TheBirdintheCave that's really tough. So you can't get the CD18 scan in this month because you're away? I can see why that's frustrating. Will they do a medicated cycle or natural? If medicated I get why they would need to do extra scans as you then take it from the month before, but not with a natural transfer.
I know from most others on here that when they do get that positive, the age gap with siblings doesn't matter really, but understand if you have your reasons why this is important. The trip away was always a concern of yours, so it's hard now it's ended up exactly what you wanted to prevent timewise. I don't know if this helps, but you'll be 3/4 weeks behind what you would be, but in that time you could have two cycles again where natural conception doesn't happen, so I really think it's worth holding on. Enjoy your break away and then come back refreshed ready for transfer xxx

The problem is that I'm already months behind where I should be because of the last miscarriage and then Strep A. I have no more time to waste. This December is our absolute maximum age limit for trying (I will be 38 next September and do not want to be giving birth past that age). I don't know whether to risk trying naturally... I'd just feel SO guilty if it actually worked and we'd spent all that money and effort on getting the frozen embryos only for me to have to have them destroyed without getting to use them.

But to try naturally I feel like I'd need them gone anyway as they're holding me back.

Basically it's a transfer next month as planned or we go back to naturally trying. I will not lose another month because of some stupid and pointless scan.

The one interesting thing the IVF has shown us is that our chance of pregnancy should actually out us in the average category. It's likely that we conceive every month, based on 21/25 eggs fertilising, but only 6 of those turned into hatching blastocysts who are capable of implanting. So imagining those 25 eggs were one per month, we could expect to be lucky and get pregnant maybe three cycles per year. Not sure why that's not happening though.

I know realistically we need to keep the frozen babies but I also can't imagine wasting two months of my time either.

@TheBirdintheCave it must be so frustrating, but you have the embryos ready to go, with natural pregnancy and PCOS those chances are likely going to be less. You could wait two months and then have plenty of chance to transfer more than once by December.
It's totally your choice but having known your journey and frustration month after month to go for IVF, I feel you'd be more frustrated if it doesn't happen naturally. You've done the gruelling part, transfer is the last step if you can accept it mentally.
We're all here for you however you need 🤗 xx

@FfoxRedN They finally replied to my (third) email from yesterday and said they would forward my question to the clinical team. So here's hoping they tell me I can actually go ahead next month 🙏 I really can't see a reason why we wouldn't be able to.

@TheBirdintheCave I have everything crossed for you 🤞🏼 x

Can't believe I'm writing this but they said we can go ahead with FET in June as originally planned. I'm so happy, I'm literally crying 😂

@TheBirdintheCave yesssss! So glad you got it sorted

@TheBirdintheCave oh my goodness that's amazing!!!! Well done for persevering 💪🏼. You shouldn't have had to but glad you've got what's right xx

@TheBirdintheCave that's amazing news lovely ❤️ got everything 🤞🏼 roughly when will they do the transfer?

Cheers guys :)

AF is expected around the 19th of June so transfer will be about 19 days after that (average ovulation of 14 days plus the five days of the embryo's age).

Im having such a miserable down day 🙈 I literally woke up in such a slump this morning and it just hasn't gotten any better all day. Hubbys away for a stag do and I can't even have a bath to cheer myself up

@bringmearainbow I'm sorry 😔 It's just the shittest time. Take every day at a time and feel sad all day if that's all you feel like doing. Sounds daft but I think I mean don't feel like you have to pretend to be ok if you're not there yet.

Books, box sets and planning a holiday got me through last time. And lots of crying. And one illegal bath 😅

I forgot about the bath rule last time until I was actually in it!

Well I managed to get trapped on a Thomas the Tank Engine themed steam train today when a tree fell across the track 😂 Had to be rescued by two chaps with chainsaws who came down the line on a push me pull you cart.

Said train contained a lot of tired toddlers and we were trapped for an hour 😰

@TheBirdintheCave omg that sounds horrendous 🥵

@LuckyMoonstone Thankfully it was a full sized train so we weren't too cramped but it was tough going for a little lad who'd already missed his naptime 😅 We survived though and it was a good test of managing with just the toddler toilet seat rather than the travel potty. We feel much more confident now in the run up to Italy now 😬

@bringmearainbow Hope u are feeling a little better today lovely? I know how lonely I felt after my MC's, like I was the only one going through this and it physically hurt. Remember you're not alone and u have all of us here 😘..have alllll the chocolate and wine tonight xx

@TheBirdintheCave 😂😅 oh dear! Sounds like a traumatic day out...my kids would of loved that tbf! Especially when the tree was over the line xx