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Conception

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Original poster

Two lines, relationship of two months!

127 replies

failedbluecup · 24/03/2023 10:20

Slightly freaking out.

I've got pregnant and it's my first. I'm 39. Pill has failed. Routine test and it's been picked up.

He's got two kids and recently separated.

I'm lost and don't know what to do.

His ex got pregnant straight away as well. My pill just didn't work, I think due to being sick a lot (stomach acid issues, constantly vomiting).

Fuck.

I want to keep it for sure.

Just started a new job a few weeks ago.

Agh.

OP posts:
ElleJones1 · 24/03/2023 10:25

Big deep breath. If you want to keep it this is wonderful and you can do this x

Olivia199 · 24/03/2023 11:17

As the PP said, try and take a deep breath here.

Just for a few seconds, forget all the worries, situation and anxieties surrounding this and let yourself feel the sheer and utter delight that you've got a tiny human on board, something which it sounds as if you want even if perhaps not this exact circumstance.

Then one thing at a time while remembering that it will work out. One way or another, it'll work out.

Next time you're in work, check out your mat leave policy. Some will give you occupational mat pay providing you've worked there 6 months by the time you're 28 weeks pregnant. If you started a few weeks back, you may well qualify for this. If not, have a look at the stat pay aspect.

Have the conversation with your partner about this - he will likely be as shocked as you but it's something to talk over together to work out where you both stand.

Ultimately though, whatever happens, know that you can do this. It'll work out. You'll be okay! (And congratulations)

Original poster
failedbluecup · 24/03/2023 11:36

He's not my partner.... he's not messaged me since the start of the week saying sorry for no messages, work has been busy.

OP posts:
bluejelly · 24/03/2023 12:20

Gosh that must be a shock. Do you have a support network, a flat, parents nearby?
You can do it on your own (I did) but all those things will make it easier.

ElleJones1 · 24/03/2023 12:32

Absolutely you can do it! Support is important, agreed x

happysingleversary · 24/03/2023 12:39

What's he going to be like regarding access?

is he going to be difficult as in wanting 50/50 from the start? Are you in for a court battle?

Or did you gauge he'd just be nice about it and supportive? Can you gauge that in two months?

What's his family like?

Original poster
failedbluecup · 24/03/2023 13:29

happysingleversary · 24/03/2023 12:39

What's he going to be like regarding access?

is he going to be difficult as in wanting 50/50 from the start? Are you in for a court battle?

Or did you gauge he'd just be nice about it and supportive? Can you gauge that in two months?

What's his family like?

It's been two months.... he thinks I don't poop, so I wouldn't meet his family yet lol

OP posts:
Original poster
failedbluecup · 24/03/2023 13:30

happysingleversary · 24/03/2023 12:39

What's he going to be like regarding access?

is he going to be difficult as in wanting 50/50 from the start? Are you in for a court battle?

Or did you gauge he'd just be nice about it and supportive? Can you gauge that in two months?

What's his family like?

Who knows..... he's got two kids from previous...

OP posts:
Original poster
failedbluecup · 24/03/2023 13:30

bluejelly · 24/03/2023 12:20

Gosh that must be a shock. Do you have a support network, a flat, parents nearby?
You can do it on your own (I did) but all those things will make it easier.

I have my own house. I think he will want access for sure... he's got two of his own.

He lives local.

OP posts:
Original poster
failedbluecup · 24/03/2023 13:31

Olivia199 · 24/03/2023 11:17

As the PP said, try and take a deep breath here.

Just for a few seconds, forget all the worries, situation and anxieties surrounding this and let yourself feel the sheer and utter delight that you've got a tiny human on board, something which it sounds as if you want even if perhaps not this exact circumstance.

Then one thing at a time while remembering that it will work out. One way or another, it'll work out.

Next time you're in work, check out your mat leave policy. Some will give you occupational mat pay providing you've worked there 6 months by the time you're 28 weeks pregnant. If you started a few weeks back, you may well qualify for this. If not, have a look at the stat pay aspect.

Have the conversation with your partner about this - he will likely be as shocked as you but it's something to talk over together to work out where you both stand.

Ultimately though, whatever happens, know that you can do this. It'll work out. You'll be okay! (And congratulations)

Yes I'm so happy. The same thing happened with his ex.... pregnant straight away.

OP posts:
MrsSB2023 · 24/03/2023 13:52

My friend had this situation happen, they’d had a few dates and she ended up pregnant. Over the coming months they went to scans together etc but weren’t ‘together’. Got closer and bonded over the pregnancy and have now just moved in together with their little girl.
Obviously everyone’s situation is different but once the shock has wore off I’m sure you’ll sort something out and be absolutely fine!

happysingleversary · 24/03/2023 13:53

failedbluecup · 24/03/2023 13:30

Who knows..... he's got two kids from previous...

Show quote history

Are you going to tell him?

Original poster
failedbluecup · 24/03/2023 14:05

@happysingleversary yes....

OP posts:
ElleJones1 · 24/03/2023 14:06

I hope it goes well x
Come rant on here if you need to x

happysingleversary · 24/03/2023 14:06

failedbluecup · 24/03/2023 14:05

@happysingleversary yes....

I hope he is supportive and you coparent well.
Wishing you all the best.

Original poster
failedbluecup · 24/03/2023 14:14

Oh god I'm just worried about a miscarriage..... I was happy but now I'm anxious

OP posts:
ElleJones1 · 24/03/2023 14:17

Don't worry about that. That is out of your control, just stay safe and healthy xx

Original poster
failedbluecup · 24/03/2023 15:29

ElleJones1 · 24/03/2023 14:17

Don't worry about that. That is out of your control, just stay safe and healthy xx

Thanks

Just need to decide when I tell him.

OP posts:
ElleJones1 · 24/03/2023 15:43

sooner rather than later I'd think but at the same time, give yourself some time to breathe and have your own thoughts for a while x

SwordToFlamethrower · 24/03/2023 15:45

Congratulations!!
You would do so much better with willing family helpers close at hand.

Doing it completely alone is going to be hard in ways you can't imagine.

Don't put his name on the birth certificate.

sendbackaletterfromamerica · 24/03/2023 15:45

Oh my goodness, this is an exciting and wonderful thing!

Quitelikeit · 24/03/2023 15:47

Yikes should have worn protection tho otherwise he doesn’t know you well at all!

That’ll teach him………

Quitelikeit · 24/03/2023 15:48

sendbackaletterfromamerica · 24/03/2023 15:45

Oh my goodness, this is an exciting and wonderful thing!

What getting pregnant by someone you have only known a minute? Really?! You and I have different ideas of exciting

bluejelly · 24/03/2023 16:35

That's great that you have your own place. Will you get mat pay from work?

AllOfThemWitches · 24/03/2023 16:41

What getting pregnant by someone you have only known a minute? Really?! You and I have different ideas of exciting

On the other hand, many people are with their partners for years and only find out how useless, lazy and selfish they are after they've had babies with them. At least OP won't be disappointed.