Page 3 | Two lines, relationship of two months!

failedbluecup · 2023-03-24T10:20:40+00:00

Slightly freaking out. I've got pregnant and it's my first. I'm 39. Pill has failed. Routine test and it's been picked up. He's got two kids and recently separated. I'm lost and don't know what to do. His ex got pregnant straight away as well. My pill just didn't work, I think due to being sick a lot (stomach acid issues, constantly vomiting). Fuck. I want to keep it for sure. Just started a new job a few weeks ago. Agh.

AllOfThemWitches · 25/03/2023 16:56

Quitelikeit · 25/03/2023 15:48

Does that mean you did do this on purpose?

I feel sorry for the guy……..he had no say in this and clearly believed you were not going to be trying for a child……

I mean, most adult men are familiar with a condom...

Original poster

failedbluecup · 25/03/2023 17:15

Scalessayeek · 25/03/2023 16:36

A lot of negativity on this OP. Congratulations, I hope whether or not things work out as a couple that everything goes well.

Personally, I would be waiting the relationship out a little longer to see how things go without the added pressure (if you can hide it that is!). You say he’s been quite quiet so I’d be waiting another month before telling him.

Yes I don't want to tell him yet. See how things develop!

OP posts:

Itsonlyagame · 25/03/2023 17:20

AllOfThemWitches · 25/03/2023 16:56

I mean, most adult men are familiar with a condom...

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Exactly! Why is it always the womans fault if contraception fails?

happysingleversary · 25/03/2023 18:03

What if he wants 50/50 from birth?

AllOfThemWitches · 25/03/2023 18:14

happysingleversary · 25/03/2023 18:03

What if he wants 50/50 from birth?

OP would say 'no thank you' obviously. No judge is going to agree he should have 50/50 from birth!

AnuSTart · 25/03/2023 19:31

I wouldn't tell him until after 12 week scan. Anything can happen before then.

You had sex with a virtual stranger without a condom so you can't really know how he'll react and there's no point in worrying about that until you know it's a viable pregnancy. Just being realistic.

Congratulations 🎉

Bamboux · 25/03/2023 19:35

I mean, being truthful, you wanted this to happen.

You're 39, your biological clock is ticking very loudly, you found a man who was clearly quite fertile (you've mentioned several times that his ex got pregnant very quickly) and you didn't take any additional precautions when you got sick, even though you must know at your age that it would affect the effectiveness of the pill.

So... congratulations? Not sure what you want from this thread really.

Secretboringsister · 25/03/2023 19:36

@failedbluecup congratulations! What a happy surprise! Tell him when you feel ready, as you know you are going to want this baby there’s some time for this news to settle on you. Hopefully he will be happy but if not it seems like you have your life pretty sorted so a great environment to bring a wanted child into with or without him. ❤️

AllOfThemWitches · 25/03/2023 20:53

Christ, I wonder what people are hoping to achieve by making shitty little comments. So what it she wanted it to happen? What makes anyone think she isn't perfectly capable of raising a child alone? From what I've read on here, even women with partners are often living like single parents. At least OP won't be let down.

TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand · 25/03/2023 21:30

The OP started a conversation.

She wasn’t looking for advice, just inviting comments.

It’s an open forum, people will post what they think. And people often have strong opinions about a situation like this.

Original poster

failedbluecup · 25/03/2023 21:53

Bamboux · 25/03/2023 19:35

I mean, being truthful, you wanted this to happen.

You're 39, your biological clock is ticking very loudly, you found a man who was clearly quite fertile (you've mentioned several times that his ex got pregnant very quickly) and you didn't take any additional precautions when you got sick, even though you must know at your age that it would affect the effectiveness of the pill.

So... congratulations? Not sure what you want from this thread really.

I've read that there is a small chance to get pregnant at my age! It's such a surprise

OP posts:

Original poster

failedbluecup · 25/03/2023 21:54

AnuSTart · 25/03/2023 19:31

I wouldn't tell him until after 12 week scan. Anything can happen before then.

You had sex with a virtual stranger without a condom so you can't really know how he'll react and there's no point in worrying about that until you know it's a viable pregnancy. Just being realistic.

Congratulations 🎉

Yes! I want to see how he is.... he could dump me or show a side of him I don't like.

OP posts:

AllOfThemWitches · 25/03/2023 21:54

TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand · 25/03/2023 21:30

The OP started a conversation.

She wasn’t looking for advice, just inviting comments.

It’s an open forum, people will post what they think. And people often have strong opinions about a situation like this.

What's the point though? Literally just to make someone feel bad.

Original poster

failedbluecup · 25/03/2023 21:55

AllOfThemWitches · 25/03/2023 20:53

Christ, I wonder what people are hoping to achieve by making shitty little comments. So what it she wanted it to happen? What makes anyone think she isn't perfectly capable of raising a child alone? From what I've read on here, even women with partners are often living like single parents. At least OP won't be let down.

Thank you,

OP posts:

Viviennemary · 25/03/2023 21:59

I dont think this is going to go down very well with his ex. How recent is recently separated. This isnt very ideal.

Original poster

failedbluecup · 25/03/2023 22:10

Viviennemary · 25/03/2023 21:59

I dont think this is going to go down very well with his ex. How recent is recently separated. This isnt very ideal.

No it won't and will get messy,

OP posts:

SwimmingAgainstTheTides · 25/03/2023 22:12

Whatever happens OP you will find a way of making it work.

In a lot of cases the man seems "neither use nor ornament" as soon as the children come along, even if they have been together many years beforehand.

Original poster

failedbluecup · 25/03/2023 23:21

SwimmingAgainstTheTides · 25/03/2023 22:12

Whatever happens OP you will find a way of making it work.

In a lot of cases the man seems "neither use nor ornament" as soon as the children come along, even if they have been together many years beforehand.

Thanks.

Yes maybe he was with his kids and she kicked him of.

However he's spoken so fondly of them and does have them at the weekend etc.

The first mother is put in a bad position and it was honestly one of the reasons I don't date men with children.

OP posts:

Bamboux · 26/03/2023 10:54

AllOfThemWitches · 25/03/2023 21:54

What's the point though? Literally just to make someone feel bad.

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What's the point of the thread? I genuinely don't understand what the op wants anyone to say. She hasn't asked any questions and says she knows she's definitely going to continue the pregnancy, despite all the reasons not to. So... what does she want from the thread?

1Wanda1 · 26/03/2023 11:06

Why do people talk about the pill "failing" when a pregnancy occurs after the woman has had vomiting or diarrhoea? The OP has gastric issues that mean she had vomited. The instructions for contraceptive pills explain that if you have an upset tummy, the pill's efficacy may be affected. It's also plain obvious that if you vomit after taking a pill, the pill is unlikely to be effective. It hasn't "failed" in these circumstances, the people concerned have "failed" to use contraception effectively.

Fortunately as the OP is happy with the outcome, it isn't a problem. But it's not a case of failed contraception either.

happysingleversary · 26/03/2023 11:10

AllOfThemWitches · 25/03/2023 18:14

OP would say 'no thank you' obviously. No judge is going to agree he should have 50/50 from birth!

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But the court battle wouldn’t be fun
and he will get 50/50 soon after

AllOfThemWitches · 26/03/2023 11:12

She hasn't asked any questions and says she knows she's definitely going to continue the pregnancy, despite all the reasons not to.

Sorry, what are the reasons not to? Because you think children should only be raised by married couples? Well, I've seen several threads just this morning about useless, selfish manchildren who refuse to be involved in the upbringing of their offspring. I'd say OP is one of the lucky ones tbh.

Bamboux · 26/03/2023 11:17

AllOfThemWitches · 26/03/2023 11:12

She hasn't asked any questions and says she knows she's definitely going to continue the pregnancy, despite all the reasons not to.

Sorry, what are the reasons not to? Because you think children should only be raised by married couples? Well, I've seen several threads just this morning about useless, selfish manchildren who refuse to be involved in the upbringing of their offspring. I'd say OP is one of the lucky ones tbh.

Wtf?

I wasn't married when my children were born. Why are you making stuff up?

I meant all the reasons that the OP herself lists!

she just started a new job
she's only been seeing him a few weeks
it will cause huge problems with his ex/current partner

I'm paraphrasing her own posts.

And the point of my post was to say I don't understand, at all, what she wants from this thread. She wanted to be pregnant. She's pregnant. Does she just want a lot of congratulations? I don't get why she posted.

AllOfThemWitches · 26/03/2023 11:18

But the court battle wouldn’t be fun
and he will get 50/50 soon after

What court battle? Do you know the guy? What makes you think he'll be desperate for the extra responsibility?

AllOfThemWitches · 26/03/2023 11:19

Bamboux · 26/03/2023 11:17

Wtf?

I wasn't married when my children were born. Why are you making stuff up?

I meant all the reasons that the OP herself lists!

she just started a new job
she's only been seeing him a few weeks
it will cause huge problems with his ex/current partner

I'm paraphrasing her own posts.

And the point of my post was to say I don't understand, at all, what she wants from this thread. She wanted to be pregnant. She's pregnant. Does she just want a lot of congratulations? I don't get why she posted.

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So, are you saying you think she should terminate or something, based on these?