Two lines, relationship of two months!

[failedbluecup]

Slightly freaking out.

I've got pregnant and it's my first. I'm 39. Pill has failed. Routine test and it's been picked up.

He's got two kids and recently separated.

I'm lost and don't know what to do.

His ex got pregnant straight away as well. My pill just didn't work, I think due to being sick a lot (stomach acid issues, constantly vomiting).

Fuck.

I want to keep it for sure.

Just started a new job a few weeks ago.

Agh.

I just don't understand the motives of people who come here and tell women who are happily pregnant and intelligent enough to think about what they are getting themselves into, that it's all a terrible idea and she shouldn't be feeling positive in any way.

Why do you keep making things up? It's really bizarre.

My posts are right there, you know. Anyone can read what they actually say.

Why would I care what she does? If she wants to have a baby then obviously she shouldn't have an abortion 🙄

I'm asking what she wants from this thread.

I don't think anyone except you has said that. She wanted to get pregnant, she's pregnant. Great 👍

@Bamboux why are you going on about 'making stuff up?' I've asked two questions which you haven't answered. Your prerogative. If you really don't care, why does it matter to you why OP posted? You literally only responded to be negative for the sake of it.

I answered both your questions. Each time I post, you respond as if you're reading something completely different. Really bizarre behaviour.

Hiding this weird thread now.

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP.

I think the reason for some of the less pleasant comments is that it looks as though OP intended to get pregnant without this man's permission. She's 38, wanting a baby, and knew that her method of contraception wasn't effective as she was vomiting a lot.

Did he consent to sex with OP knowing that it was essentially unprotected? Or did he consent to sex under the impression that she was taking a method of contraception that's 99% effective? I ask this because if he wasn't aware, how's that different to a man stealthing and removing a condom etc?

Safe sex is the responsibility of both parties of course, but did he think there was a 1% risk of pregnancy or a normal risk associated with lack of contraception?

This man already has two children and is only recently single. He might welcome the news or he might find it devastating. Either way I think people are possibly a bit dubious of the OP's intentions.

I don’t and neither does she
I wouldn’t tell him__

Personally, I wouldn't either but that's with the benefit of hindsight.

Did you not know that vomiting causes the pill to stop working? 🫤.

Vomiting is a normal way of life for me that I just didn't think,

Especially when I Google my chance of getting pregnant is low, I've also not had any sort of bleeding in about 7 years, since taking the pill.

I wouldn't say I'm wanting a child.

If I was, I would have picked someone else or at least started it earlier in life.

Yet it's potentially happening.

So basically people are saying I should abort?

Exactly
it can make life very difficult
just wanted her to know that’s an option

Some are
but ignore them if you want the baby

but him, he could ruin this for you

if you can get away with not telling him

i would have done this but would have had to tell him so I aborted but I have a child already

The gushers make me a little bleurgh. Like this quote "Either way, you will be amazing as a mummy" - how on earth can posters possibly say that from a few lines on an anonymous forum. OP could turn out to be an awful mother for all you know - not saying you're awful OP, just the inanity of these comments always makes me roll my eyes.

Your circumstances are obviously not ideal, but then there maybe never is an "ideal". It's your choice - don't feel forced to keep a pregnancy because a bunch of MNers tell you it'll be a "blessing". Raising a child on your own, and let's face it the odds are likely it will be on your own, is tough. Think long and hard about what you truly want.

Just showing support and ultimately I'm going to give a very one sided viewpoint and people know that... they aren't life coaches or psychologists

@happysingleversary I just want the father present. There is no way he had time for children.... he works long hours.

As long as you’re happy being a single parent do it, this guy won’t stick about sadly. He’s just come out of a long relationship with 2 kids, got into a casual one and now you’re pregnant after 2 months. He won’t be happy. Did you tell you have you vomiting and other issues that definitely effect the pill as it looks like you’re trapping him. He should have worn a condom but I know most guys don’t. Either way if you decide to have it good luck.

Quitelikeit · 24/03/2023 15:48sendbackaletterfromamerica · 24/03/2023 15:45
Oh my goodness, this is an exciting and wonderful thing!

”What getting pregnant by someone you have only known a minute? Really?! You and I have different ideas of exciting”

OP is very happy so from her point of view it is exciting.

Vomiting is a normal way of life for me

The pill is an odd choice of ‘contraception’ for you, then.

It's your choice - don't feel forced to keep a pregnancy because a bunch of MNers tell you it'll be a "blessing".

But the fact that OP has said she's 'so happy,' 'ready for a child' and is actively worried about miscarriage suggests she already wanted to go ahead with it. On that basis, hinting that she should terminate her wanted pregnancy is really quite crass. I say this as someone is waiting to have a termination, i am not 'pro-life' or anything.

Ignore the ignorant comments OP. Some people are just so bored & miserable they spew hate for entertainment.

How have you been feeling? Have you told him yet?

xx

No I haven't :(

Feeling a bit unsure about the relationship as well.

@TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand I haven't had a boyfriend for many years so no I don't need contraception.... it's for acne .

Oh, so you’re using some other form of contraception with the boyfriend you have now?