POAS: bodies are weird and stupid 🤦🏼‍♀️

[bringmearainbow]

@FfayeN @MrsJGrealish @LuckyMoonstone @Indianna2006 @usedtolovenaps @monsteramunch @bunnykins123

@MrsJGrealish I don’t know how to feel, it’s good it’s getting darker but I’ve just had another bleed! Seriously when I went to the loo first thing this morning I was dry as a bone, not even a hint of pink! Don’t know why it’s suddenly come back.

@LuckyMoonstone that can happen with sub chorionic haemorrhages. Like the fresh blood you describe is a thing with them. I know you don't wanna get hopes up but it is darker.

I had to make him stop last night it was so sore and being the gentleman like he is stomped off🙄

Do you mean he was annoyed you had to stop sex even though it was because you were in pain? That sounds horrible, poor you 😞

Sorry if I've got the wrong end of the stick.

@LuckyMoonstone that's exactly what I mean. Dick.

@MrsJGrealish

That's really horrible of him, has he been like that before? Don't want to derail the thread with stuff you might not be comfortable with but that's really awful behaviour from him and not something you should feel you have to accept

@LuckyMoonstone that's defo darker! Completely understand your fears around the bleeding. Saying that, you've been bleeding for a while and the tests are defo getting darker so it doesn't look like the bleeding is impacting it? Maybe call the EPU again tomorrow?

@TheBirdintheCave oh hun, I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Take the time off, you've been through an incredibly traumatic experience and need time to grieve. I do understand your reasoning on ivf. I think the advantage you have with ivf vs natural, is that if it is a sperm issue, they can do ICSI or even PICSI (I've researched hard!) which selects the best quality sperm. I would recommend having all the tests before doing ivf as that way, you will know if it's immune, clotting, hormonal etc. That's what we have done and if this doesn't work out, will be pressing the button straight away with ivf.

@MrsJGrealish god that sounds awful. I hope you're not in pain today but can't believe he behaved like that 😳

@MrsJGrealish why is he being such an arse like that?? 😤

@bunnykins123 @monsteramunch no he isn't normally like this but just awful. He had wine. I'm awake and hiding in my bedroom. Oh yes he took the huff to the spare room, sure it'll be my fault somehow 🤷‍♀️ it was really sore in my defence

You should never need to defend yourself for wanting to stop sex for any reason, let alone being in pain. I think it's disgusting that a man would willingly want to continue shagging someone knowing they're in pain. Hope you're ok and sorry again he's done that

@monsteramunch yea I know. Thanks lovely xxx

@MrsJGrealish I'm sorry you had to go through that, he should definitely not have treated you that way. I know how much that hurts as well (cysts suck) so I'm not surprised you had to stop.

@MrsJGrealish I think how @monsteramunch put it is a good way to level it with DH. Would you want to carry on knowing I'm in pain?! That might point out to him how unreasonable he was. MEN!!! 😤.

@TheBirdintheCave I can sympathise with all you've written as my issues are almost the same. I don't think IVF helps with recurrent pregnancy loss, but do we just keep trying and failing otherwise. It's so hard to know what to do which is why I've opted for more testing before TTC again. If that doesn't work next time, we'll be trying IVF but I imagine with a specialist for recurrent miscarriage. Funnily enough those ones don't offer the Access Fertility plans to make it more financially viable.
In short what I'm trying to say is I don't think there is a one route answer and that's what's hardest about this journey. You're not alone.

Also on the leave, I felt fine the first week, awful the second, so I would say play it by ear and don't cancel that second week just yet 😌 xx

@TheBirdintheCave I think in so many ways adrenaline got you through the op and until now. But once it dip's you'll need the time to recover. It's an awful thing to happen so do please rest ❤️

Well I got up and he's pretending all is well. I'll say to him later, he's taken DD out. I am quite crampy now but no bleeding or weird stuff. Also off tomorrow so I'll see how it goes x I know I don't ever need a reason to stop it's just difficult in the moment xx thanks girls x

Just walked round Aldi feeling like I was going to throw up the whole time 🤢

@monsteramunch how are you feeling today? Xx

Thanks for asking

15DPO today and AF due today / tomorrow.

Little recap of my symptoms at the moment...

Cracking headache, super sore boobs (much more than I usually get before AF) and for the first time very sensitive nipples.

Also still more CM than usual for this time in my cycle, but not as much as the last few days when it was WAY more than usual.

BAD insomnia the last two nights. About four hours each night argh.

Also much less mood swing-y than usual for this time of my cycle, but annoyingly I've fallen on the sad side of those mood swings so feeling pretty down.

Keep going down the rabbit hole of googling statistics and treatments and freaking myself out as we've been TTC for a year now and I'm so worried it's not happened yet.

I've stuck to my pledge not to test until AF is late so I won't be doing it until Tuesday. And maybe even longer. I've found it really good mental health wise to make that pledge to myself as otherwise I end up testing daily from about 9DPO and feel miserable for the whole week.

@monsteramunch that does all sound quite promising 🤞

@monsteramunch that defo sounds promising 😊 good on you for not testing early😘 I did that last month but found it was more soul destroying? (For me anyway) Definitely cheaper ngl but I think I'd like to know if I caught even if it did turn out to be a chemical xx well I say this now but I'll see closer to the time 😚

@LuckyMoonstone @MrsJGrealish

Thanks for saying it sounds promising, I really hope we might get some good news this month!

I know lots of people feel more in control testing every day, I think maybe because it's been so long with not even a whisper of a line here, it just got too tough.

The bastarding blank space we call it in this house!

@monsteramunch good luck! I hope AF stays away for you 🤞

@FfayeN Yep it just sucks :( There's literally nothing I can do but wait for my body to start 'working' again and that could take weeks and weeks of wasted time. It's so depressing.

@MrsJGrealish I'm so tired today but thankfully I haven't chucked up anymore and my boobs hurt like fuck. They haven't hurt for so long I think I've forgotten 😂 oh I'm sorry DH was a complete arse 😤 I hope he bloody apologises to you or tell him the POAS group will be after him!

@TheBirdintheCave don't feel guilty take the 2 weeks I took a week and wish I'd had longer to process it all ❤️ it's so hard to go through it all and not be guaranteed anything at the end it's a hard one to comes to terms with if people ever really do

@monsteramunch I take it still no AF? They do all sound like good early P symptoms 🤞🏼

Nope still no AF here @bringmearainbow aka my fellow sore of boob friend! If no AF tomorrow then I'll do a test on Tuesday too, that'd make me 17DPO.

@bringmearainbow haha I'm exhausted too. But I didn't sleep that well so thinking that's why. He seems remorseful enough. My boobs don't hurt too much now which is a good thing (for me) 5dpo and counting