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Conception

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Ready, Aim...HANG FIRE!! Waiting to TTC (and some too impatient)

955 replies

Teuch · 04/02/2008 12:35

Here we are ladies...roll call please?!

OP posts:
Cosmogirl · 06/02/2008 09:23

Thanks girls. You are right, BB. MIL will see more of our DCs {if and when they arrive}. She will mostly see theirs on the webcam.... Now, this is going to sound even more bonkers but I am secretly hoping they have another DS because it would be lovely if we could give MIL her first grand-daughter. It might sounds weird but I have always thought I would have a girl first.....I realise this sounds crazy....feel free to say so....I was really happy when they had a son first (would not mind either sex though - just a feeling I have)

Cosmogirl · 06/02/2008 09:27

Bookwise I have only read the Jools Oliver one - was pretty good.

NatalieJane · 06/02/2008 09:29

£30 a week?? I might have to look at it again

Cosmo, you're feeling aren't bonkers. And FWIW I'd say your 'feeling' that you will have a girl first will probably come true, though obviously don't bank on it too much.

I always knew I'd have 2 boys, from wayyyyy before we even discussed having kids.

Wish I'd have 'known' we were going to have 3 kids, I might have had a heads up on what this one is likely to be!! But having said that, it doesn't look like any of my family can carry girls, so maybe there is my answer right there!

kayzr · 06/02/2008 09:32

I always knew I was having a boy. All the prediction things said girl, everyone said becouse of what my bump looks like it will be a girl but he wasnt.
So a mothers intution(sp) is right

Playingthewaitinggame · 06/02/2008 09:33

Hi Everyone, still relentlessly chatting I see!

Kay - glad things were not as bad as they seem. Often low self esteem makes people say things like that from a "noble" point of view. It just seemed a thing to say, but I understand it more in context now.

Cosmos - I understand exactly how you feel, I would be completely devesated if I did not "produce" the first grandchild. I am the eldest in my family and the only married "kid" on both sides of the family, so therefore by "rights" I should have the first chil . My SIL acts as if she doesn't want kids (I think she might actually but that is another story) and is highly competitive with me. She can actually be a bit of a bitch (to DH as well) so I try to let it go over my head but know I would find it very hard if she had kids first. And.. I always thought I would have a boy first, dont know why, would not be bothered either way, but I have always just assumed it would be a boy.

kayzr · 06/02/2008 09:41

SIL are just trouble. I have lots of problems with mine just because Im friends with her dh ex!!
In laws are just trouble, mil doesnt want us to have any more kids as I apparently trapped dh into marrying me cos I was expecting ds. I had my doctors appointment the day before we got married.

BeMyLilBaby · 06/02/2008 09:43

I remember reading it on a website somewhere bout the £30 but it might vary from council to council...

I dont know what ill have secretly id like a girl but ill be happy eitherway, in terms of having kids first my sisters are only 12 and 13, and DPs sis is 12 too so i certainly hope me and DP will be first!!!

Im getting all over excited now, thinkin bout intuition and that!

BeMyLilBaby · 06/02/2008 09:45

AS for inlaws (aka outlaws!) mine are ok luckily we seem to keep them at a distance, no animosity between me and them however DPs mum has to be taken with pinch of salt i spose im lucky it cld be worse!

Diege · 06/02/2008 09:47

Morning! Glad to see everyone's up and chatting already . KAYZ take it easy and out your feet up!
Funny about the girl/boy thing, and how some people only seem to 'do' one or the other! I didn't find out the sex when expecting dd3, and when I asked the consultant he said that it really is 50/50 as to what you get in subsequent pregnancies . I just feel this would be another girl though, which would be lovely . Think there might be something in the family history thing NJ (though no medical back-up!) as no-one has had a boy in my family for generations!
Got a bit panicky this morning about work and maternity policy. As with all new staff, I'm on a 12 month probationary period in my new job (it's unheard of for anyone in my line of work to have any problems completing it). Started panicking that I wouldn't be eligible for maternity leave if I got pregnant before probation ended (ie, September). I don't know where I got this from, but there's nothing in the company policy to support it! I think that there's the whole job security thing to consider (which really isn;t an issue), but I can't see how you wouldn't get maternity leave if you worked somewhere for a year, on probation or not?? It's a permanent contract too, so no worries there. Have I got anything to be worried about d'you think? The actual leave is great (enhanced maternity leave) with 13 weeks full pay, and then another 13 weeks SMP with half pay . I'll have that thank you very much! .
Re: books, I love the Vicky Iovine series - so funny and true! I am also one of those rare breed on mumsnet who has always got on really well with the GF books (she who cannot be named!!!)She's my life saver, though I understand it's not for everyone. [whispers] Unfortunantely (just in case some don't know) we can't discuss her in any detail because of legalities on this website!).
Right, working from home today, so better do some!

kayzr · 06/02/2008 09:48

Im really hoping for a girl next. I used to want 4 kids 2 of each. After going through labour I'm not so sure now. But I really want at least 1 of each.
I feel so broody

happynappies · 06/02/2008 09:49

I use reusable nappies and love them, so happy to answer any questions!!! I got £30 payment from council when I sent them a receipt for nappies I'd bought. You can only claim once... but I got the PIL to place an order as they live in a different council area, and they made a claim too. Initial outlay isn't too bad - I'd steer clear of birth to potty packs as they are expensive and don't often suit your needs. Am a complete nappy bore (hence the name) so ask away if anyone wants to know anything!!!

Diege · 06/02/2008 09:51

KAYZ, 4 kids 2 of each would be lovely! We always get the inevitable 'trying for a boy then' comments (usually from complete strnagers of course), and can just imagine what it would be like if we had another girl!

kayzr · 06/02/2008 09:59

I'd love that. 2 of each would be great. I was hoping for a boy first then a girl so she would have a big brother to look out for her

Cosmogirl · 06/02/2008 09:59

Thanks for being so supportive girls. It is nice to know some of you have the same sort of feelings too. Fast forward to August though and she gives birth to a girl - and Cosmo is completely gutted!!

NatalieJane · 06/02/2008 10:01

Ahem....

Diege, I am one of five girls, 3 of us (so far) have had babies. Eldest sister has no babies, second eldest had 1 MC, then a healthy boy, then another MC. Next eldest Had 1 healthy boy, 1 MC, 1 healthy boy, 3 MC's and then another healthy boy. Next eldest (me) 2 healthy boys, 1 MC. So out of the 3 of us, we have produced 6 perfectly healthy boys, and all had MC's, two of which were well into the pregnancy and confirmed as being girls. We have a theory running that because we are such a big family of girls, we all have too many girly hormones that fight off girl babies. Who knows? Might be a load of tosh, but it seems a fairly logical answer to it all to me.

That maternity package sounds very good! I'd have thought that since it is a permanment contract, probational or not, you should be entitled to the full benefits. Mabe worth a quite word with the PR people just to put your mind at rest though (I am no expert on work related things!)

Happy, do they leak as badly as I have read??

NatalieJane · 06/02/2008 10:04

God, my typing, not even going to bother correcting those mistakes, and my one pet hate when it comes to spelling is 'quite' and 'quiet' and that is twice in two days I've got it wrong!

Diege, I got the comment of 'trying for a girl' from MIL after the MC.

Ahem.... I am so not going there with the MIL convo. just trying to stop myself from typing!

happynappies · 06/02/2008 10:06

NJ - my dd is 14 months now, we have used them since she was four days old, and they have never really leaked. BF, so had to wash the wraps a lot in the early days when nappies were, erm, interesting, but never had problems with leaks onto clothes, cot, pushchair etc. They are fab, and so cheap! My entire set of nappies cost £36, then wraps cost about another £28 on top of that... I use re-usable wipes too, so we don't have to buy anything nappy-wise... you could contact a local nappy advisor and ask for a trial pack if you weren't sure whether or not they were for you, then you wouldn't have to spend anything.

Don't get me started on MIL and SILs - going to try my best not to get into that one!!!

BeMyLilBaby · 06/02/2008 10:06

i was thinkin same as you diege, i am on probation till march24th but as posted about previously DO not trust my company so not ttc till after i know, im sure it will be fine tho for you and your mat pay sounds fab!!

dunno bout everyone else but im knackered today and cant focus, me and DP always call wednesday humpday cos once your over the hump your on the way to the weekend

NatalieJane · 06/02/2008 10:09

How do you keep up with the washing though happy? I find it hard enough at the moment ! (If anyone says it is because I sit on MN all day instead of sorting washing, I will erm.... agree!!!)

kayzr · 06/02/2008 10:09

I thought about using re-usable with ds and I decided it would be easier to use disposables and now regret it due the cost.
Happy am I going to spend every free moment I have washing nappies?

NatalieJane · 06/02/2008 10:14

LOL Do you think we obsessed with washing Kay? Or the lack of it now?!!

happynappies · 06/02/2008 10:16

I tend to do one nappy wash a day which probably sounds like a lot, but I'm used to it now... If you have a large nappy bucket, or two nappy buckets, you could do a bigger wash every two days. It is easier if you have a tumble dryer (although I know not very environmentally friendly... I use the nappies not because I am an 'eco-friendly' type but because we're on a tight budget!!). I tend to stick a load on either first thing in the morning, or last thing at night - then forget about them.

Diege · 06/02/2008 10:22

Oh go on NJ, out with it on the MIL front . Mine is what I call 'passive aggressive'. Does things sneaking upstairs to clean my bathroom when she's here (not asking, just making it obvious she's 'cleaned', like leaving a cloth in the sink etc, and usually after I've actually cleaned it the day before!!!). The sort of thing most people say, 'send her over to mine!, but to me it's more about what it all symbolises? Does that make sense? (read, do are a dirty mare that isn't good enough for my son). She also does things like beg and beg to help out with childcare etc, but then when I do need her (on the rare occasion) says things like...well, I did have to do this/that, but...um..well I could maybe change it...but so and so will be upset...oh, go on then.... Gosh, don't know where all that came from!!
BEMY, think you're right that the job security issue is the thing for maternity leave, and not the fact that you're not eligible for maternity leave per se. The only stuff my place has written down refers to picking probation period 'back up' when you return from leave, if you are on ML when on probation. The thing is if I waited much longer, I would be pushing 40 when ttc, and really want to get itn all done before then!
NJ, wow 5 girls, that must have been fun! I am one of 3 girls (the eldest) and my poor dfad used to go and sit in the back garden and chat the the (male) rabbit! I rememebr as teenagers us all badgering him for money, and in the end he just threw the wallet at us, with cries of 'take it!' and headed off to the garden shed . Dh is already well versed in anything to do with High School Musical, and I heard him humming it to himself the other day when in the kitchen! Oh and think there might be soemthing in that gender thing NJ - miscarriages in my family (2, mother, sister) were male babies .
Right, will mark another essay then check back

Diege · 06/02/2008 10:23

Arghh awful typing, sorry! Must learn to use preview button!

kayzr · 06/02/2008 10:24

I hate washing, we have no room for a tumble drier , no garden and stuff takes forever to dry. So its the washing everyday Im worried about