Hiya Cosmo
Agree with Diege, sounds like she has a few problems of her own. She doesn't sound happy in herself from what you've said, at least you are. I know the waiting thing is a complete PITA, but you are doing what is best for you and your family. I wonder if she can say that hand on heart?
I have a sort of similar situation at school. One of the 'mothers' (call me judgey and bang out of order, but I use the term mother VERY losely) she has 3 kids already spends the whole time I see her smoking right outside the school gate (where everyone has to walk past to get into the school ) and when she doesn't have a fag hanging out of her mouth she is swearing, effing and blinding at her kids, I think their ages are around 6 years, 4 and 3. She is pregnant with her 4th. She and the kids are always filthy, greasy haired, muchky faces, she is about 25-ish, and only has two very blackened disgusting teeth in her mouth. She doesn't seem fit to look after a gold fish let alone 4 kids. I could go on telling stories about her, but I won't. I stand far away judging, when I probably shouldn't , whilst thinking how come she get's pregnant and get's to keep the baby, while I had to watch mine being flushed away down the toilet?
So you see how bad all of that sounds? Your feelings are completely normal compared to mine! I feel bad for even writing it down, but, I can't help the way I feel, or the way I see her treat her kids. Strangly enough her eldest is in the class below my eldest (they were in the same class last year though) and apart from the smell that comes off of him, he does seem a really nice kid, sad thing is, she doesn't seem to see it