POAS: With only the IC in stock...someone help us 🤣

[FfayeN]

You asked for it......😘

@TheBirdintheCave I think you need to speak to the EPU lovely and tell them how you're feeling and what support you need from them. They need to support you properly and not leave you to get on with it and worry yourself sick.

Yes 50/50 are not good odds but that is the reality in my eyes you either get a good sticky one or you don't. I know everyone deals with things a different way but I can't think that somethings going to go wrong everytime or I would be a slushy puddle on the floor everyday and no good to anyone. You have to find something small positive thing to hang onto to get you through the day that's how I view it anyway.

@TheBirdintheCave big hugs, I know you're really struggling with this. I do agree with everything @mummatara says though. As you say, today you are pregnant and try not to loose sight of that (easier said than done!)

@FfayeN honestly, my advice is get DH a fragmentation test. I've literally destroyed the internet Googling this and it seems odd to me that this test isn't pushed more, especially for women with reoccurring miscarriages. Plus you can have perfect spermies analysis but frag can be high. It's nuts! Given you're going down the investigation route, I would defo see if you can get that one added in if you can afford it (it's 500 😳)

@mummatara I wrote to them yesterday and asked for a scan before Christmas so we can hopefully come to a conclusion about what's going on. I read it back this morning and it's so awful I had to write back and apologise and try and explain myself better. I'm just so miserable.

@bunnykins123 I agree re frag. I don't know why blood tests and sperm analysis etc isn't the first thing done when people tell doctors they're trying for a baby. I feel like so much time could be saved if lots of things could be tested before, before the trying even starts.

@bunnykins123 Me & DH also had covid Feb 22. Fell pregnant March 22 and did mc that pregnancy. But I don’t attribute it to that. Just one of them things. Then obv pregnant with this baby July 🥰 which is only 5 months after we had covid and all is well

@TheBirdintheCave deffo step away from google. I know you’re doing worst case scenario because it’s a protection mechanism. But it is not helping you at this point. You just get yourself in a state about something which is not definitive.

your ovulation date is irrelevant. Because if babies all grew the same then no one would ever be dated forward either. And I have been. So therefore I ovulated 5 days before I did with my dating scan measurement which obv isn’t right.
all is not lost yet. keep a tiny bit of hope. And stop googling.

@mummatara hope AF shows up for you soon lovely!! Where the hell is she. Must feel like it’s been going on ages. Bless you.

@Indianna2006 it's been 6.5 weeks she's gotta show soon surely 🤷🏼‍♀️ I'm getting so fed up now but I also know I'm really stressed about a lot of other things happening so I know that can delay it. it's my due date today so that just doesn't help either 🙄 lots of things on my brain atm 🤦🏼‍♀️ I did a couple of opks the last few days and they are low was still a faint line on IC on weds I'll do another tomorrow but I think as opks are low I don't need to worry too much about the PT being negative other than knowing it's negative if that makes sense

@TheBirdintheCave I echo what all the other lovely ladies have said, it can also depend when you implanted, that can be a difference of 4 days from one woman to the next.
I understand the mental struggle as no matter how positive other people are you want to protect yourself by fearing the worst. I agree with @mummatara in that it's 50/50. Don't email EPU, give them a call and tell them you NEED a scan because of where you are mentally. xxx

@bunnykins123 I will definitely look into DNA frag more, I was going to get it done in Jan as then we should get the results at the same time as mine and I think I'll go for it. It's hard to know what's normal isn't it, whilst the motility sounds ok...they did make a note that the goods were thicker and more awkward to extract from 😷. That means possibly ICSI if we go the IVF route too. I'm just worried if the DNA frag comes back then that's us trying naturally over and being committed to IVF.

@mummatara I'm sorry it's your due date 😕, one of the reasons I try and avoid finding out mine is because I then don't have to deal with anniversaries...although I think I'd struggle to remember anymore anyway 🫣. I hope you're doing ok xx

@FfayeN I can't call them due to my autism and audio processing disorder. Weirdly no one has replied to my emails this morning (neither the EPU nor the local midwives) 🤷🏻‍♀️

@mummatara Sorry it's your due date :( It sucks. Can you do something nice tonight, like get a takeaway or something?

Survived the night. Thank god for en suite bathrooms. Will read through your messages in a bit. I'm defo out this month the cramps last night were awful 😢

@MrsCristianoX Glad you survived! Your comment about the ensuite brought back some intense memories 😂

@FfayeN wish I didn't know but alas I can't help myself and tbf I never even imagined anything would go wrong with the pregnancy 🤦🏼‍♀️

@TheBirdintheCave I'll have a nice bath if DS is good and goes to bed swiftly 🤞🏼 DH is cooking steak for dinner mainly I'm hoping for a whole nights sleep so I can forget the day! Can you get DH to ring EPU for you? Have they come back to you yet?

@mummatara Oh I love steak! 🤤 I hope you get to have your bath.

I could get my husband to call but he's busy at work today (last day of term at the uni he works at) and I don't want to bother him. Maybe on Monday if they still haven't replied.

I am currently dozing on the sofa as I am shattered but I have to get up in fifteen minutes to make stew for tonight 😭

@FfayeN levels hadn’t changed at all really so I’ve gone from 50mg to 75mg. I’m just waiting to ovulate now, might still have another week or so to go though! 🙈

Augh just had a tiny bit of pink/brown spotting 😭 I thought that had gone away at least. All I've done is lie down all day. I wish I knew what was causing it 🙁

@LuckyMoonstone hopefully that'll start it moving, it can be a slow process but good things will come and you'll feel more like yourself!
@TheBirdintheCave it's a good idea to get DH to call Monday, you can't stay in this turmoil. Alternatively get a private one booked online?

So had my consultation with Dr Brosens. As with anything there are conflicting views! They test to make sure the endometrium is ideal for implantation and supporting the pregnancy. If it isn't, they look to treat with progesterone (either before or at BFP, Sitagliptin (something to do with Stemcells) or prednisone depending on the results. What is interesting is that he said even with perfect eggs there can be a chance of genetic issues occurring, this could be where my body isn't being effective at the 'Implant Checkpoint' he called it, and I'm implanting less than ideal eggs.
Anyway, I feel quite positive, he said my chances of having a live birth after 4 losses at my age is 51.6% (based on some algorithm). Reverse the clock 10 years and with my history that number goes to 66%. I didn't think that was too bad! Maybe that's me looking for a silver lining!

He wants me to wait another full cycle before testing, but once I know ovulation has occurred next month I'll be booking in. xxx

Ok I've been referred to the mental health pregnancy team 🤷🏻‍♀️ No idea how long that will take or what will happen. No mention of any more scans though. I guess I'll just have to wait til the 30th of Dec if I get that far.

@FfayeN That sounds really in-depth and positive. I'm glad there's a plan in place for you now :)

@TheBirdintheCave that's good news, I think it would do you well to talk to someone who has experience other than their own stories to guide from. Are you in a position to book a private one? I had a really positive experience with mine even though it didn't turn out how I'd hoped at the time xxx

@FfayeN I could afford to yes but I'd have no idea where to start or whether it would be worth it.

@TheBirdintheCave I went to HeyBaby4d, but I'm not sure if they're nationwide? Any clinic offering private scans will be able to scan you! A lot of them for early reassurance. xx

@FfayeN sounds like your appointment was very successful! It’s good to have lots of info

@FfayeN Yeah I have a Window to the Womb scan booked for the 30th.

@FfayeN OH I reread it and you meant private scan not private therapist 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

@FfayeN that's great news, so glad to hear it went well and have you some reassurance. What tests do they want you to have? At least you're getting answers now which is great!