Preparing to TTC in 2022 part....7?!

[Dreamingof3]

Finally realised that our previous thread was full 🤣 I hope no one minds me starting up a new one!

Can you believe it's been almost a year since this was all started up?!

@krissy12 sorry you're finding it tough. That does sound really hard and I really sympathise. I find it difficult just TTC. How are you doing now?

@Welshgal85 it's hard when one of you is chilled and the other one isn't. I don't think my husband really gets what it's like from my perspective. He does want a baby but I don't think he thinks about it several times every day. There's none of the second guessing every possible symptom, every twinge, trying to work out when your fertile window is etc. He just turns up, DTD, and forgets about it until the next DTD. Also I don't think they have the same anxiety with the biological clock. I was really chilled before 30 and before we got married and then suddenly it was like my body ramped up every hormone. Taking a break from tracking is a good idea though I think, especially if you're feeling pressured. I felt a lot better for taking a break from trying and having a break from the OPKs (I'm not doing them as religiously now).

@DesertSnow thank you, how are things with you?

My OH dropped off his SA today. I have my progesterone blood test tomorrow. Dreading it as I hate needles. And this week is a stressful one with work so I'm really not feeling it. Just want it all to be over and hopefully get the referral so we're at least on the list for gynaecology.

@LucyLoopyLu Glad all the tests are moving forward, hope the needle tomorrow isn't too bad for you. Fingers crossed you'll get on the list soon and can get a plan in place and feel a bit more in control. I'm ok thanks, still being very closely monitored by Fetal Medicine. But the placenta, while deteriorating, isn't deteriorating as quickly as they initially feared, so it's very much a watch and wait situation. Feeling more positive as I'm 35 weeks now, so even if baby has to come early, her long-term chances are good, even if it's not the kind of arrival we were hoping for and she has to be in NICU. Keeping everything crossed and feeling grateful to have made it this far.

@LucyLoopyLu you’ve summed up pretty much exactly how I feel 😂
I feel like I’m thinking about it all the time and he’s just way more laid back. Like today I know we should DTD but I don’t think he’s in the mood. So what am I meant to do? I don’t want it to be irritable if he doesn’t want to, it’s just hard not to let it get to you when you know the fertile window is small!

hope the blood test goes okay and the busy week goes by quickly for you!

My second transfer failed 😞I have a failure review with my fertility consultant on Wednesday. I have 3 embryos left. I'm slowly going from sad and frustrated to fed up and despondent. Are babies really in my future? Am I just not supposed to be a mum? I wouldn't wish this crap on anyone.

@SarahShorty oh no, so sorry to hear that. I hope they have some positive ideas for you tomorrow. Hope you are OK and can do something nice for yourself tonight x

@Welshgal85 oh I know it's so awkward! I had that worry when we first started TTC. Now we agree a schedule every month so we are hitting plenty of days in my fertile window. I much prefer it actually as gives you time to get into the mood and also takes the stress out of it. I know it's not romantic but once you've been trying for a while it's just easier!

@DesertSnow thank you lovely

Glad you're doing OK and they're keeping monitoring you. And pleased you have hit 35 weeks. On the home straight now! Having to go to NICU is obv not ideal but at least the very best place if needed. Have you got a c sec planned or will they induce you if/when it's the right time?

Thanks @LucyLoopyLu I think maybe we will have to try that, even if it feels a bit weird to plan so much. How do you fee if you miss a planned day? I’m struggling this evening as feel like another opportunity missed today!

So sorry to hear that @SarahShorty sending lots of love. Look after yourself ❤️

@LucyLoopyLu I'm doing OK thanks how are you? hope your blood tests go OK today

@Welshgal85 it is awkward we now try to dtd every second day of my cycle because I don't know when I ovulate and it definitely feels an effort at times to make sure it happens

so sorry to hear this @SarahShorty hopefully you get some answers at your meeting

@DesertSnow that 35 weeks has flown in fingers crossed for a couple more

@Welshgal85 to be honest we've only really missed a planned day once, we had been really busy and were both absolutely knackered. Just did it the day after instead. It works for us but I guess might not work for everyone. I feel like it's one less thing to stress about and my husband is a legend about it to be fair and is fully on board.

Just got back from the doctors and unfortunately my blood test went very badly. I was scared and crying (standard) and felt ridiculous (standard) and they couldn't get any blood. They tried two places in each arm and only other way would have been in my hand which I just couldn't face trying as it was a bit of an ordeal and I'd already been in there about 15 minutes.

I'm so fed up now. I have to wait another month and have felt horrible about it all for nothing. I just feel like this is so needlessly difficult and I'm annoyed at myself for failing to get this done.

@SarahShorty so sorry to hear about the transfer, I hope you manage to get some answers soon ❤️

@DesertSnow that's gone so quickly! Glad you're doing ok ❤️

@LucyLoopyLu I'm sorry the blood tests didn't go well, it must have been frustrating. I remember that feeling of getting annoyed with myself too, but try to be kind to yourself ❤️

Not much of an update for me, currently CD23 and my OPKs look like I may be due to ovulate either tomorrow or Friday. I had a mid-cycle bleed around CD14-17, so just glad that that's cleared up. I also received an appointment letter from the hospital yesterday for my follow up with gynaecology- not sure what to tell them beyond the fact that my bleeding between periods has (mostly) been resolved by Metformin. One positive is that it's a telephone appointment, so maybe less chance of them making everything about weight loss if they can't see me?

Hi ladies xx A quick-ish update:

I had my failure review with my consultant over the phone today (they're not at my clinic today, so had to be a phone call) and he was saddened to learn it hadn't worked. He asked us how we're both doing, how our spirits are, low or high, if we're in a bad place emotionally. He's a very caring man.

He suggested we take a break from IVF and continue trying naturally for a month or two and talked us into doing a DE transfer (double embryo) for the next attempt, simply because we've had two singles fail now and there is no point in paying for three more transfers of embryos that will potentially also be bad.

We told him we were looking to take a short break from the treatment because it's expensive, stressful and disheartening when it doesn't work and he was in full agreement.

Ultimately, if nothing works, we are safe in the knowledge that we did everything we could. It'll help us to come to terms with the prospect of not having our own biological children.

@SarahShorty sorry to hear about the failed IVF 😔 I really hope it happens for you soon whether it be natural or if you do go ahead with the double transfer. Hope you’re taking some time to look after yourselves xx

I'm really sorry to hear that round failed @SarahShorty. Really hope it happens soon for you and that you are able to look after yourself and fill your days with nice things.

@LucyLoopyLu I have my next appointment with Fetal Medicine next Wednesday at 36+4 when they will make the next call about whether baby is better off in than out which they do at every appointment. I think I would prefer a c-section over induction if baby has to come early as I think my body won't be ready and it would be a long and stressful process that could put a lot of stress on the baby when the blood flow is already suffering. My last couple of scans have been a bit more stable with slower deterioration so fingers crossed I can make it a bit longer.

@SarahShorty I'm so sorry to hear about the failed transfers xx

@SarahShorty so sorry things haven't worked out for you so far.

How are you feeling now you're a few days on from your appointment? I hope you are getting lots of support. Sounds like your doctor has a good attitude. Were you offered any counselling?

@HeathenPlayingHouse owch that sounds horrible! Hope that has cleared up for you!

Only update from me is my husband got a text from GP reception following his SA - it said one of the measures was "slightly out of range" and to make an appointment to discuss. I think that is next week. He was a bit upset but I don't think it sounds that bad to be slightly out of range? Will see what they say. Either way he is meant to repeat the test in 3 months which he's not happy about. I find it hard to sympathise to be honest as it might be slightly awkward and stressful to get it to the lab on time, but nothing compared to what might be in store for me in future.

Think AF is on her way. Got cramps and felt under the weather today. I'm on day 28 so would expect it tomorrow or Thursday.

@DesertSnow think from your message your next appointment is tomorrow?
Thinking of you and hope it all goes well and baby can stay cooking for a while longer.

I totally see your point about the c section, especially if it's lower risk. Plus I imagine it will be a much more relaxed process for you in the circumstances 🩷

@LucyLoopyLu I'm alright. We're going to try naturally this cycle and the next. It's our 9th wedding anniversary in August and would really rather not have to go for the next transfer around that time. We're just chilling and taking things in our stride. Our consultant is amazing, very caring and understanding. We have a free counselling session that we haven't used yet. We should probably make use of it.

As you mention your DH's SA, you'll find that not all men can just spaff in a cup on command. Most of what it takes for men to ejaculate is psychological. Additionally, if he has a headache starting at the time like my DH did, it'll be even worse.

My DH's experience was.... far from ideal. Imagine you're a bloke and you're in a tiny room with cheesy porn magazines and DVDs, you can hear doors opening and closing and people talking outside.... getting hard, let alone climaxing is near-impossible.

On the other hand, if the sample is being produced off-site, the, ahem, pot of spaff needs to be kept warm, so imagine my DH sticking it in his armpit as he's hoofing it to the clinic, bearing in mind the sample needs to be at the clinic within an hour of it being... made to order.

I do feel for the men in this, I must say 😅

@SarahShorty yeah I do know what you mean, it's far from ideal and can see why there might be a performance anxiety aspect!
I don't let on about my limited sympathy to him of course! I am very sympathetic when he has complained about it. But I would swap with him in a heartbeat!

I've never had counselling myself but someone I know who had IVF said she found the free sessions really useful. I guess it's worth considering.
Hope you can feel more relaxed the next couple of months trying naturally 😊

I'm still waiting for AF, now on cd29

@LucyLoopyLu While it's not exactly a picnic for the guys, like you I have limited sympathy when you think about what women have to go through! Any sign of AF for you? I think you said you were due today. Thank you so much for thinking of me lovely, you're so kind. My FMU appointment was a bit of a mixed bag. Growth has tailed off - baby has lost 4 centiles in 12 days and femur growth particularly has slowed. Meanwhile head is 95th centile. The big head/short leg combo is a marker for dwarfism, but we won't know till baby is here. Obviously a bit of a worry. The better news is that as long as things stay stable, they are ok with letting me go to term. They've booked in a c-section for 41 weeks but I'm hoping to deliver naturally before then. Just concerned what will happen with growth over the next few weeks. I'm 37 weeks on Saturday, so at least I will be term, and I'm so grateful to be pregnant and where I am, but I'm pretty worried and on edge right now, worrying how well baby is.

@DesertSnow thanks for keeping us up to date, have been thinking of you. Glad you are still going and hoping you will be getting to term with no extra problems now. Sending you lots of good thoughts re health of the baby. I'm sure it's a really worrying time. Hope you have lots of support and you're taking care of yourself. I'm sure you are doing brilliantly.

No sign of AF today. I was expecting spotting this evening but nothing just yet. I'm 15 dpo (I think, I've been easing back on the OPKs) so would expect it'll come tomorrow now. Just enjoying hanging on to a bit of hope for today but it's probably a bad idea.

@LucyLoopyLu keeping my fingers crossed for you that AF stays away!!

@DesertSnow that’s good news that a csec has been booked for 41 weeks - they must be positive that baby will carry on cooking away nicely until term now!! Good luck for the next few weeks!!

I was 28 weeks on Monday, I had my GTT Monday and I have my midwife appt tomorrow, I really can’t believe how quickly this is going!! It still feels really surreal to be in this position and I feel a long long way from the dark days of my two chemicals and the stress and upset we ensured. For those still TTC, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel and it’ll be so worth the wait!! Sending baby dust to you all 💕

@LucyLoopyLu It's important to keep the hope I think. TTC is so tough. I agree with @Houseelf90, it feels like a long way since those days for me as well, and I'm sure it will happen for you too, when it's the right time. I'm keeping my fingers crossed AF stays away for you. Thank you for thinking of me and being so kind, I know you're finding it really tough and I know I'm in a privileged position to be carrying this baby.

@Houseelf90 Wow you're 28 weeks already! How exciting! Thank you, fingers crossed baby stays in a bit longer.

Sending good thoughts to everyone, whether you're TTC, pregnant or have your babies.