One year+ TTC part 4

[lemons44]

Hi all
Onto thread 4! Hopefully this one is lucky for us 🍀 🤞🏼

Just a supportive thread for those of us who have been TTC for over a year. New faces are welcome. Feel free to vent, cry, laugh, ask silly questions, seek advice and talk about anything.

Tagging our BFP ladies who are rooting for us too.

@Tinkerbell098
@NatW2021
@Koalie
@Netflixnchilli
@JSS15
@BakinABaby
@KatieLooLa
@Indianna2006
@Carla2601
@BritInNZ
@FlyOnTheWall89

Feel free to tag anyone I have forgotten.

@Koalie there was an embryologist guest on the Big Fat Negative podcast and she has TIKTOK and there is a video of it on there - it's her most watched video x

@FlyOnTheWall89 oh wow. Will have a look now! Xx

14DPO, AF due in two days and another negative. I'm really not in a good headspace. Struggling hugely. And panic attack setting in I think. I hate this.

Morning @Carla2601 @Koalie
The consultant has emailed us today and said we have enough sperm to do 2-4 rounds of ICSI 😃 she said the clinic will know more about the quality once each vial is thawed and they can see the specimen directly hence 2-4 rounds because if a thawed vial is not suitable they will have to thaw another.

The really good news is she confirmed our issue IS a blockage (at the top part of the testis) likely caused by an infection. It is all adding up now as DH had a hydrocele when we was about 18 and needed surgery to remove it. A hydrocele is a big build up of fluid in a sack in the testicle. Doctor google says that hydroceles can be caused by infections.. so it makes sense that he could have damage from an infection.

I still don't feel I can relax. I think it's been such an emotionally traumatic time that I'm still so scared that it is too good to be true and that someone will leap out at us and be like 'ONLY JOKING YOU DONT REALLY HAVE SPERM'. I think I just need to give it time to all sink in and then maybe I will relax more.

How are you all doing?

I'm sorry @monsteramunch ☹️ the waiting every month is just so hard and it really does mess with your head. I used to imagine symptoms all the time too, which made me question my sanity! Just try and be kind to yourself, it's a bloody tough journey and you're not alone ❤️

@lemons44

I'm so so pleased you're finally having some well deserved good news, I've been willing you on from the sidelines and bloody hell what a tough time you've had. Everything crossed for you

@lemons44 thats brilliant news!!!! 2-4 rounds is a lot! So happy for you. Did they say when you can get started?

Thank you @monsteramunch ❤️

@Carla2601 is it similar amount to what they found for your OH? We have an appointment with a local clinic on Tuesday to discuss starting ICSI 😱😬 (not the awful clinic that messed us around .. a different one).

We will just need to then courier our sperm from Chelsea and Westminster to this clinic. C&W is just too far for us (and likely too expensive!).

I'm really hoping we can start after Xmas.

And thank you for your nice words @Carla2601 😊❤️

@lemons44 That's a bloody good amount of rounds! Hopefully it will only take 1 :) Very excited about your appointment on Tuesday! Will you be able to have the ICSI on the NHS? Because my clinic don't actually apply for funding before they start, as long as you qualify for it, they just claim the money back at the end so it's definitely worth asking.

In other news, my drugs are due to be delivered on the 15th!! The consent forms are coming through thick and fast now ... so much to sign and read/watch. I'm petrified about cocking something up and having to cancel and start again :(

@FlyOnTheWall89 I watched that tik tok! (and about 10,000 after it lol) it's bloody amazing. Might ask my embryologist if she will record ours.

x

@lemons44 they didn’t tell us they just said we wouldn’t ever need another retrieval but our issue was a bit different as they went in saying they knew there was loads in there it was that it was being damaged on its way out (so many possible complications right?!). Eeeeeeek I’m so excited for you! I know everyone says it’s not exciting but I feel like you’ve waited for so long that whilst it’s daunting it just feels like it’s your time! 💪💪🤞🤞

@lemons44 so so happy for you! 2-4 rounds of ICSI should be plenty and hopefully not all needed surely! Must be a huge relief and weight off both your shoulders. You've been so so strong and so incredibly patient. X

Thank you @FlyOnTheWall89 and @Carla2601 ❤️

@Koalie thank you ❤️ yes we are entitled to two rounds on the NHS. We still haven't even got our initial letter though and I have my day 21 bloods next week so we are waayyyy off being seen. That is so interesting to know the approach your clinic take! I will ask my clinic when we have our appointment next week. Eeeeee that is so exciting you will have all your meds arrive soon 😃 are you doing anything else to prepare? I was googling good IVF foods last night and I'm going to make an effort to start eating more fish/veg. I read that full fat dairy foods like cheese are also really good and I LOVE cheese so I am happy about that 🤣

I haven't watched that ICSI video but I saw one on insta yesterday that said they knock the tail off the sperm before injecting it, which really surprised me! I suppose the tail is mainly for swimming to the egg so it makes sense.

@monsteramunch how are you feeling today?

@SaraSS @summerchild92 how are you both doing this cycle?

@lemons44 yes definitely worth an ask. Because you’ve skipped some of the usual process by going private and you won’t need a HyCosy, the clinic might say you don’t need to go through the whole process because you’re already there under them now 🤷🏻‍♀️🤞🏼 & yes I’m doing quite a lot to prepare … hubby and I have taken it to the extreme though because we know we obvs both have parameters that need to be improved. I’ll write you a list if you like but it might be a bit long lol. Also, I had read somewhere to be careful about too much fish because it can have a lot of mercury in it. So many conflicting things online it’s such a minefield! 🤯 I’m going for lots of nuts and avocado to get my good fats in because I think that’s the reason fish is recommended ☺️ x

@lemons44 hey thanks for the message. I've been watching the chat and so glad to see things are looking up for you! It's a long journey but you've had some great milestones now!
I'm doing ok. I'm ovulating around now(or the last few days). I used the digital ovulation sticks this cycle and got a smiley face on Wednesday, then a negative Thursday, so my peak must have happened.
I'm a little confused by the digital sticks as my first attempt was on Wednesday and got a smiley face, but I thought they had to "find your baseline" with the first one and it would be negative?! Anyway, the cheapy ovulation strip was also fairly strong too and they've since come back down..

We dtd Tuesday and Thursday this week so hopefully timed well! Possibly will try again tonight!
Fx for a Christmas BFP!

@lemons44 i’m taking opks and haven’t yet had a peak :) I started on letrozole this cycle so will see how that works for us.

how are you doing?

@Koalie I will ask my clinic. If not I believe we are still entitled to one NHS round if we have two private, so I'm thinking we may get the 2 cycle 50% refund package from Access Fertility.
Yes please I would love to see your list!!!! My plan today is sitting down with my diary/planner with Xmas films on and the fire going🎄 planning my life for the next few weeks including things like meals, vitamins etc. so would love to see any good tips you've found.

@SaraSS thank you ❤️ I never used to digital sticks but I think if your cheaply one was also dark then the digital one must have worked correctly. I'm keeping EVERYTHING crossed for you that this is your month🤞🏼 would be amazing to see some Xmas BFPs.

@summerchild92 fingers crossed for you with letrozole this month. I've heard some good things about it so hoping it works for you 🤞🏼

Hope everyone is having a nice Sunday x

@lemons44 - i am looking at the refund package aswell - i need to check if i would still be entitled to a free round after going private. You get two free rounds in my ccg. As i was looking at the three cycle package so could save ourselves some money if that is the case.

AF showed up on Friday, even after 2
months of accupunture my periods are still so light i still have a niggling feeling its not normal even though scans/drs say everything looked fine - i am not convinced.

Really pleased to hear your good news about 2-4 cycles! Sorry i am just responding i am only just coming out of the dark AF cloud xx

@lemons44 That sounds dreamy! I’m going to do the same and start an IVF diary I think. Also going to steal your idea with the Christmas films! ☺️
So, here is my list. But bear in mind, some sites say egg quality can’t really be improved, e.g. “There's not much you can do when it comes to improving your egg quality. Egg quality is not a scale of healthy to unhealthy, with measures in between—it's a binary state of either normal or abnormal.” But there are lots of others that suggest all sorts of changes can help over the 90 days that your eggs take to mature so that doesn’t make it easy 🙄
I am only doing these things in case there’s a small chance I can make a difference, and at least I will know that if for any reason it fails, I did everything I could and have no regrets.

• 0 Alcohol
• 0 Caffeine
• Supplements - Impryl, fish oil & vit D
• Drinking only filtered water & stay hydrated
• Downloaded the Yuka app and replaced any unsafe cosmetics with safe options
• Not heating any foods in plastic Tupperware (bought some Pyrex ones)
• Almost completely cut out sugary and fried/processed foods with the odd sweet treat on a weekend 🤭
• I make a big batch of juice every week from Jason Vale’s book to get a load of extra fruits and veggies in
• Exercise twice a day (even if just a walk around the block) to keep blood circulation going
• Avoiding covid at all costs 🙅🏻‍♀️
• Foods to eat - asparagus, spinach, avocado, nuts & seeds (Brazil and almonds, flax and pumpkin mainly), full fat Greek yoghurt, wholemeal rice and pasta as opposed to white

I think that’s it lol. Hubby is doing all the same plus some other bits but your OH is obviously off the hook there having already provided the goods 😆 x

And when I say ‘if for any reason it fails’ I mean if for any reason we don’t end up with any embryos to transfer. Because ultimately I think that’s what I’m most scared of because of my low AMH 🥺

Hope you guys don't mind me asking, I'm just curious as I don't live in UK, whether the '2 rounds' means two retrievals and however many blasts you get from it or two transfers only.

I got my period monday this week (or last week as I'm writing this) so onto the final cycle this year for me. No hope anymore each cycle for me. It doesn't really make me sad, the emotions I get are more of a mix of total indifference/numbness and anger. And now literally all the girls in my dd's birthmonth group chat, that wanted another child close in age, have already given birth and I'm not even pregnany. Oddly I don't find it difficult to hear pregnancy news or be around pregnant women or small babies, but damn I just wanna get going with it and move on. Still looking forward to the fertility specialist on the 19th and taking the family on a small Stockholm cruise just before christmas after that, hoping the little one is well then, imagining her running around on the ship and the ball pit (something I never got to experience as a kid interestingly) and then christmas town in Stockholm gives me good energy.

Hi @BakinABaby a round refers to the egg collection. So if you end up with one embryo to transfer and 2 to freeze and transfer later.. that's all still the one round. It becomes a second round once you need to do egg collection again. A Stockholm cruise.. 😱 I am SO jealous. Sounds like you have a lovely trip to look forward to xx

Thanks @Koalie your list is really helpful. What's the reasoning behind the filter water? I have been so healthy the last two days. I tried fertility yoga yesterday.. It was a video where she showed you five poses and you are supposed to do each one for five minutes and increase blood flow to the womb area. At first I thought it was a bit hippy for me but I did one in bed last night before sleep and it was relaxing so I thought I might as well try and continue it.

We had our IVF consultation this morning 😃 I really like our consultant. She is recommending I do long protocol so down reg first. What was you recommended @Koalie ? As I think our AMH was similar? Mine was 14.6 and 17 follicles. We are just paying for DH's sperm to be transported and then I can start. Hoping we can get it transported before Xmas so I can start on my Jan cycle.

I suddenly feel petrified if I'm honest. I'm scared about the hormonal aspect and whether it will impact me at work and I will be tearful whilst in meetings and stuff. Xx

@NatW2021 I found Access Fertility quite easy to talk to. I just asked the on live chat to send me the price list and they just asked about which clinic we was going with and then emailed me it all. I think the good thing about these multi-cycle packages is it reduces that pressure on the first round working.

Thank you, and please don't apologise. I know that dark cloud and it sucks. I hope you're ok ❤️ My periods are also pretty light. Do you have thin lining? Have you looked into L-arginine and raspberry leaf tea? When I got my thin lining results I tried both of these from CD 1 until ovulation and I noticed my period was heavier that cycle.

@lemons44 that’s great that you had your consultation! :) your AMH is quite a bit higher than mine and I’m on short protocol 🤔 I found conflicting opinions on Google about this so I’m just trusting the clinic here that they’ve got me on the right one 😆 re the water, the minerals in tap water apparently isn’t good and also BPA in the plastic of bottled water. Ah yes, that’s something else I forgot to put on my list. I’ve been meditating using the IVF meditation app ‘evoke’ … I get stressed quite easily so I’ve been really trying to work on that ☺️ I hadn’t thought about the hormonal aspect but I’m close with my boss who knows what’s going on and I work from home. Are you able to let people at work know what you’re going through or would that be a big no no for you? Xx