Tactical seduction and POAS addicts

[FfayeN]

Hi ladies. I have started to feel a little overwhelmed with our usual thread and we are at different stages of our journeys now. Please feel free to leave this one if you don't feel the same but I feel so invested in your journeys and don't want to miss any news. Hoping this is ok, I don't think you can do DM as a group?
Hope you are all doing well and if there's anyone I've missed from the usual bunch feel free to add 😘😘😘

@MrsCristianoX @TheBirdintheCave @Indianna2006 @theblueflowers @bunnykins123 @LuckyMoonstone @mummatara

@Indianna2006 Both really :/ I don't want to feel too old and I don't want the gap to be larger than three years between Gilbert and a potential sibling.

Also, well remembered! 😂 The miscarriage was in April so this cycle will be number seven. Unless Covid ruins it for me. My husband has a week to recover 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Our due date for the baby we lost was Nov 3rd (our wedding anniversary) so I suppose I'm also feeling a bit shit about that at the moment as it's rapidly approaching :(

@TheBirdintheCave ultimately it will be what it will be. We can get het up on our age and age gaps. But it is to some extent uncontrollable.
i under stand the wanting a set gap thing. Cos I did. But honestly it really won’t matter. Not to obviously downplay how you feel and what you want.
i just mean whether it’s 3.5 years compared to 3. Will make bugger all difference. An it won’t determine the siblings getting along.
bigger gap between my sister. We’re best of friends. My DH and his brother only 2.4 years. Never really ever get on. A sibling is a sibling whatever the gap. Just try remember that.

also my 4 year old today I could of bloody sold her on eBay 😂😂🤯 the attitude on a 4 year old. Alas I hope she gets better before baby arrives an axrually matures some. I do NOT want to deal with two brats on a daily basis 😂 I can only manage one brat.

I have a good memory 🙂 see, I think cycle 7 is still early days. I took 7 cycles basically 8 really to fall after my first mmc and get my DD and I was 26/ 27 so much younger than I am now. And took 11 to get the one I miscarried in April similiar time to you I think. And then it only took 3 cycles again!! Stupid!!!

i guess what I’m saying is IVF is a lot of money. On like sometimes one shot. Which you can do for free every month. I think if you go for 12 cycle and give yourself a fair chance you will be pregnant 🙂🙂

and if not. Then consider it. But I think if you give yourself enough chance it will happen naturally as it has twice before. That’s what I think I’d do anyway.

it is difficult with due dates as mine was Nov too for the mc baby. And as each month passes. The doubt creeps in and the sadness. And you start to despair. It’s all normal.

but also why we’re here to say hey. It’s only been 6 cycles. Only 6 goes. Give yourself a break. Keep going 💪🏻 (That’s to all of you as well🥰)

that’s my pep talk over for today 😂😂😂😂
sorry for that long post.
over and out! 🥰

@Indianna2006 I've just been reading articles about sperm and covid infections. Apparently we may as well not bother trying for the next three months as according to studies my husband will not have viable sperm until February now 😭 We were only going to try for three more months. I count December as cycle 12 as that's when we started last year but I was going to go up until cycle 13 to see if the Fertility made any difference. Literally no point in even bothering now.

@TheBirdintheCave deffo point in bothering. I worried about that when we both got it. And asked in the pregnancy board. And loads of women said they got pregnant after their partner having covid not long before.
we both had it feb. I fell pregnant in March. And may. So I think a lot of that is crap. I think it’s only likely to affect it if they were very poorly with it and had an off the scale temperature.basically just do not google things cos it sends us off our rocker 🙈😂

Fertilily is the way to go. I rave about mine 🥰😂

@Indianna2006 Except I know that my husband's sperm is already rubbish so even a small impact will have a huge toll on our already pathetic odds :( I can't sleep now. I'm just crying in the guest room like an idiot.

@TheBirdintheCave please don't give up! There is absolutely a point in trying for these three months! Studies are based on an average person...and let's face it they are few and far between and I imagine not enough studies have been done in relation to it! Where there's sperm and ovulation there is always a chance! Could you invest in some pre-seed as well as the fertilily for this last lot of tries? Or is there anything DH can do to improve his motility?
Are you in the U.K.? Have a look at Access Fertility, it's basically payment options for IVF, so if unsuccessful you get your money back or, they offer a really good price for more than one cycle.
I think @Indianna2006 is right, all is not lost yet 🥰 xxx

@TheBirdintheCave huge virtual hugs lovely.. you sound as miserable as me this month ❤️ gotta keep the faith x I read that article on covid and sperm too. It's terrifying but is it to make sure we all jab up?? I don't believe much I read about covid anymore xx

@FfayeN We've always used Preseed and it's never made a difference :( I had a look at Access Fertility but I can't afford two rounds of IVF, just one and then maybe some frozen transfers (which will put us in enough debt as it is). I was hoping Gaia Fertility would be able to help us but you have to commit to five or six rounds through them which is even worse.

Finally managed to fall asleep at 2am and now I'm up for work and am so so tired 😭

@MrsCristianoX I don't know :( We're both fully vaxxed anyway as my dad is immunocompromised so we can't afford to take any risks when we go up to visit. Guess the vaccine (or my husband's already shit immune system) couldn't stand up to Omicron :(

@TheBirdintheCave I followed government guidance too and am fully vaccinated (front line worker) but have been putting of dose 4. Still caught it though. Booster 4 scares me I seen patients taken to hospital with allergic reactions but hospital wont comment on the vaccine. Hopefully all the vaccines and catching it twice I should have some immunity now 🤞just me being a cynic here..hope your DH is powering through this xx

@MrsCristianoX He seems much better today but I'm no longer talking to him as I feel like this has ruined our lives. Yesterday was one of the worst days ever. It's probably the beginning of the end for us to be honest.

@TheBirdintheCave so sorry you are feeling so down about your situation, it's such an awful predicament to be in when you want something so bad.
Apologies if you've mentioned this before, but how recent was your DH's semen analysis? A good friend of mine was in a similar position- morphology was really low at 1%, trying for 18 months and nothing. Their consultant told them this was a 'good' problem to have as sperm is something that can be quickly improved with lifestyle habits. They repeated the analysis 4 months later and it had gone up to 5%, with very little changes made as it was over winter/Christmas holidays and they wanted a blow out!
He also said that 1% of a big number is still a big number, and as it only takes 1, there is still a chance every cycle. You've conceived twice which shows that it is absolutely possible.

@theblueflowers We have the worst one though, motility can't be fixed at all. There is no solution other than ICSI. The last one was in 2019 we were going to do another one during these next three months but there doesn't seem to be much point now.

@TheBirdintheCave have you only ever had one analysis?

@theblueflowers Two. Motility was 16% first time and 13% the second.

@TheBirdintheCave oh hun. I totally know that feeling of utter despair. I went through that around June/July this year. We have been trying for over a year now with 3 miscarriages and as you know, now getting tested for ivf. Honestly, I don't want ivf. I've been putting it off hoping it'll happen but it hasn't. So mentally I know I have to do this if I want to give my DD a sibling. The cost is eye watering. It makes me so angry that we will likely have to spend £££££ to get a sibling when other friends my age have had uncomplicated pregnancies. But like I said yesterday, this is my 'hard journey' and I don't know what journeys have been hard for them that I've found easy. Regarding covid, I echo what the others have said that I think there are so many variables that it's impossible to know. I think having a fever is a biggie as it nukes that spermies so making sure he doesn't have a fever is a good starting point. I've been poorly for the best part of over a week now and had a fever for 5 days. I now worry about how that affects egg quality so I feel I probably have no chance for the next few months too! I think your best bet is to get DH retested. Things change. Sperm constantly changes. His numbers may not be as bad as they were last year. Once you have that, you can decide how likely natural conception will be and decide from there. I have lowish AMH (I did with DD too) so I know I don't have time on my side for ivf. Sorry bit of a ramble!

@bunnykins123 The clinical studies say that with Covid its not the temperature it's just something undefinable about Covid itself that causes the DNA damage so it happens either way :( He was lucky he didn't get a fever as well. He seems fine this morning, you wouldn't even know he was ever sick.

I really hope you don't have to have IVF in the end :(

@TheBirdintheCave I just think it's so unknown that it's probably not worth worrying about. I do understand why you worry though. Thanks lovely, I'm having a hyfosy on Friday to see if my tubes are open. Feeling a little bit sick just thinking about it 😂

@bunnykins123 The thought of the HyCoSy is worse than it actually is. I was really worried (mine was Christmas Eve 2019) but it was ok :) And then I got pregnant two months later. Not sure if that was a coincidence though as I also started taking supplements for increasing CM at the same time.

@bunnykins123 @TheBirdintheCave I was on another board with ladies ttc over a year. 3 went on to get pregnant cycle 1 or 2 after hycosy. I deff think there’s something in it. An when I booked in clinic told me it does tend to increase fertility for a few months as it clears the tubes so easy pathway for the sperm. Like a runner trying to race down a corridor which is empty compared to piled high with bin bags.

so you never know Hycosy for lots of people seems to do the trick. I never ended up with one as then I was pregnant anyway without it. But I contribute that to fertilily. It’s my stupid deep cervix and tilted womb which makes the journey for my DHs sperm harder. Wish I’d known that sooner though cos I wouldn’t of wasted 9 months ttc propr to that.

Annnddd I have fallen victim to the plague. Weirdly exciting to see any kind of positive test 😂I'm so used to everything being negative.

@Indianna2006 that's good to know! I have a friend who conceived 1st cycle from it too. Knowing my luck, I'll be the % where it doesn't help or find out I have blocked tubes 🤦‍♀️

@TheBirdintheCave ah boooo! I guess with DH having it, it was always going to get you. So sorry that was your positive though.

I am getting some good ol cramps today so either I'm going to start bleeding or maybe it's all having a shift about down there getting back into non pregnant mode 🤔 I also have the wickedest toothache and I've had to pay for a private dentist because the nhs one has booted me out 🙄 they can't see me until Friday though what a great day 🤣

@Indianna2006 @FfayeN I had bad backache in the first few weeks, still get round ligament pain when I sneeze! You're not too far behind @Indianna2006 how are u feeling? Do u have a lil bump? Xx

@calimc83 much better sickness wise thank goodness. And way more energy. That exhausted first trimester business has disappeared.
yes bump has definitely popped. Obv it is second tho so to be expected. Ppl would deff start questioning soon if they didn’t know I think.