Tactical seduction and POAS addicts

[FfayeN]

Hi ladies. I have started to feel a little overwhelmed with our usual thread and we are at different stages of our journeys now. Please feel free to leave this one if you don't feel the same but I feel so invested in your journeys and don't want to miss any news. Hoping this is ok, I don't think you can do DM as a group?
Hope you are all doing well and if there's anyone I've missed from the usual bunch feel free to add 😘😘😘

@MrsCristianoX @TheBirdintheCave @Indianna2006 @theblueflowers @bunnykins123 @LuckyMoonstone @mummatara

@mummatara oh hun I'm sorry. That's so disappointing. This is exactlyyy what happened with me, it crawled down. How are you feeling about it?

@FfayeN it depends on how you feel about waiting to have the tests done for free on the nhs. I was already in the system when I was debating having my levels tested with Dr S so just stuck with it but my understanding is his tests go into the 1000s. So I said to my consultant I wanted every test as I didn't want to do ivf and then be told 'oh wait up - it didn't work because...'. I want to know and ask for all tests before making a decision. So far, just NK cells but waiting for spermies to come back (I suspect this could be a biggie!). It's tricky isn't it but you have to do what's right for you. It's such a hard journey and I so hope it's not NK cells for you as I do think that the 'what ifs' of a diagnosis can make it harder to make that ultimate decision.

@MrsCristianoX oh wow really they want to see me again 😂 she was like oh we better do another one incase it goes up 🤷🏼‍♀️ errr I don't think that's gonna happen but ok

@bunnykins123 I'm feeling ok that it isn't a new pregnancy as I really had a feeling it wasn't but I am feeling annoyed and disappointed it's only dropped by 6. I have a feeling I'll get AF and that will help the last bit along it's what happened last time period at 5 weeks post MC and negative at 6 weeks post MC

@mummatara oh lovely sending big, big hugs your way 😔 xxxx
@bunnykins123 yes you're totally right. I keep trying to pin DH down and he just isn't there...the response is 'I just don't know'. Helpful in some ways as I know he'll go with what I think, but sometimes I just need that dialogue so he knows what he's signing upto. Feels a little like all pressures on me at the moment because he's not that interested in learning the options. It's a whirlwind isn't it. When do you think you'll be starting the IVF process? Xx

@mummatara probably because the drop was so tiny! They did my bloods 48 hourly 3/4 times then left it one week. I used to hate blood tests. Literally don't care anymore 😕 do what you gotta do

@FfayeN thank you ❤️ I'll just wait for AF now hopefully she'll show up in 7-10 days. Im not going to bother testing anymore until she's been I can't bare to look at tests that go negative then positive again 🙄 I'll drive myself potty

@MrsCristianoX yes probably if it's small again they will probably book me in for a scan as that's what they did before. Oh I don't mind having my blood done I just can't look at them sticking the needle in once it's in I can look 😂

@mummatara just seen your update. I hope u are ok xx

@calimc83 I am thank you lovely ❤️ it would have been a slim chance at a new pregnancy I think. The tests were very convincing though 😳 just goes to show how much dilution even FMU can have 🤦🏼‍♀️ least if we try next cycle hopefully body would have reset 🤞🏼xx

@mummatara those tests did look convincing! I really thought pregnancy was a possibility - I'm sorry it came back as a bit lower, I know it would have been a nice surprise for it to have been a new pregnancy. Green tea, exercise and shed loads of water is what shifted mine. I did a lot of read watch on it and it seems to make a difference.

@FfayeN yeh DH is defo not as invested at this point. He knows it's a discussion that's coming but we haven't hashed it out yet but then, I'm waiting for his result to come back before making any certain decisions (his spermies would have to be spectacular for me to change my mind at this stage!!) it's hard as it does tend to fall more into the woman - the drugs, the stress, the time needed for appointments BUT I have to give my DD a chance at having a sibling. I can't not try and regret it in the future, however much I'm scared of pressing the button on ivf. Also I'm on holiday now which means I'm drinking and eating and alllll I can think about Is my egg quality. I hate that. Infertility has stolen the joy from my life for too long. Is your appointment today? Sending you a big hug for today 💕

@mummatara ahh at least you have an answer. But very annoying it’s going down SO slowly! Wait it out. your period will come. And like you said. Next month will be fresh start new month etc. and no worries about should we have left it etc etc.

@FfayeN that’s good about your appointment. Lots of decisions to be made and it’s so hard to know where to spend your money.

@MrsCristianoX love that lol. Boss lady just sorting them out 😂 give me a bloody test now!

@bunnykins123 deffo keep at it. Regret in life is too much to live with I think. Doesn’t matter about the gaps etc and how long it takes. Takes lot to have will power to keep going.
Once you get there it will feel SO worth it. Each family is lovely for exactly what it is and how you got there.

I obviously didn’t have to do any extras to get there in the end. But I was so annoyed for so long about the 15 months I felt was “wasted” when the age gap kept growing and we’d started late.
but now I’m here. I actually do not care. And it’s all just a blessing. The gap fades into the background and feels irrelevant to me now. My DD felt baby kick yesterday and it was lovely 🥰

Keep going ladies. Such a fight sometimes to get there! You’re all strong women!

@bunnykins123 it is a constant worry in one way or another isn't it but it's like a mission that we now cannot fail at! Makes you more determined for sure. Xx

@mummatara I think that's a good plan, wait until AF comes and then push the reset button! Xx

@Indianna2006 you always have such a good way with words 🥰 xx

@bunnykins123 I need to get some more green tea as run out but I'm upping my water game which tbf wasn't all that good 🙈 it's so hard isn't it thinking about this and that affecting fertility but I think your right to enjoy yourself on holiday as much as a baby is something we desperately want I think you can't forever put your life on hold constantly you have to take the moments to enjoy it too. I am part of the Fb group for it starts with an egg and I remember seeing someone post of there that she had sat next to someone on a train that had I think bathed in perfume and then added a bit more on when on the train she was panicking that it was going to affect her endocrine system as she had been clean for so long now and that it would affect her fertility. I honestly felt so so sorry for her that it had got to the point where she clearly couldn't live her life fully without thinking about something as small as that affecting her fertility. yes we are on a hard hard journey but we mustn't lose sight of other things that bring us joy in life ❤️

@Indianna2006 thanks lovely yes that was playing in the back of my mind if it was a new one should we have left it. Starting fresh hopefully won't be too long now 🤞🏼 I agree with @FfayeN you do have a good way with words 💕 I bet that moment was absolutely magical! I was 11 when I got a sibling and honestly there are 3 of us you wouldn't even know there's such a big gap between us even when they were smaller

@FfayeN thinking of you today ❤️ I hope it goes ok xxx

@mummatara I'll be on the green tea train with you after today. Onwards and upwards towards our goal...xxx

@FfayeN yes welcome aboard the sucky train 😩 I actually don't mind green tea but it isn't my favourite hot drink 🙄 we will get to our goals ❤️ do you know what time they will take you down or could it be anytime? Xxx

@FfayeN good luck today lady 💕 haha you're right - I've been trying for so long now that I'm determined to make it happen!

@Indianna2006 I couldn't agree more! I did t want such a big age gap but if it means a bigger age gap to complete our family then so be it. As they get older, you don't really notice it anyway - as they say, age is just a number!! That's so lovely that DD felt her little sister kick 💕

@mummatara as odd as it sounds, I can totally understand her worries, especially when you feel you've done absolutely everything and nothing is working. That's kinda how I feel about alcohol, sugar and caffeine. Which is sad. I love all 3 (obvs!) and trying to cut down or at least be mindful of it is hard. Is it destroying my eggs? Maybe. Is it DHs spermies? Could be. He defo could do with cutting down on the beer (he said to me at 10.30am today shall I get a beer and I was like 😳 which is so bad!) I run a fair bit too and stopped last month as I read that exercise increases NK cells. Urghhh. I need some perspective 😂 how are you doing anyway? You feeling ok after your recent blood test?

@MrsCristianoX how are you doing hun? CD 4 for me!

@bunnykins123 oh I totally get it I just felt sad and sorry for her that it should come to that point. I've tried to be mindful of my intake of things and moderated them but I would drive myself insane to not enjoy moments here and there doesn't stop you worrying though DH asked me if I wanted a glass of wine a week or so ago and I sat there and was like I shouldn't I might ruin my eggs. You are not alone in how you think DH drinks probably 3/4/5 days a week mainly just a beer, a whiskey or a glass of wine if we've gone for dinner and it worries me that it's his sperm but I bite my tongue because he works hard and he obviously wants that enjoyment he gets from it. He also drinks a lot more coffee than he used to. I've been wondering recently if we should have tests done or not maybe it might help with the anxiety of worrying about what DH is doing to his sperm 🤷🏼‍♀️ I half want them and half want to just see if the next one is ok 🙈 do you know what I actually felt so relived to not poas this morning I think going through it once before and knowing how long it took last time has really helped now I know it's not a new pregnancy. I told myself I wouldn't obsess on when I get a negative but I of course did obsess but now I know it's just going slowly I feel quite ok with not testing. Probably also helps that AF might not be too far away maybe a week or just over 🤞🏼where are you away somewhere nice?

@bunnykins123 cycle buddies again ❤️ CD4 here too! Im ok still giving it a go again this month. Do you use the clearblue sticks im tempted to order them? Xx

Hi everyone, hope you're all doing OK.

Still finding ovulation so confusing despite being (I promise!) a capable and responsible grown up...

So, today is CD16 and here's a run down of our last few days.

CD 13 digital opk blank circle - didn't DTD
CD 14 digital opk static smiley - DTD
CD 15 super strong positive strip OPK - DTD
CD 16 super strong positive strip OPK - DTD

Ovulation is usually within 36 hours of the first positive, or so I read, so as it's been three days positive, am I likely to have ovulated by now?

Or does the fact it's still (super strong) positive after three days mean it probably hasn't happened yet so should we stick with it until a negative OPK?

Any advice welcome!

@mummatara @bunnykins123 my DH is the same with beer and caffeine. It's so hard not to say anything though. It's funny we had the conversation this morning whether it's worth just one more try whilst even waiting for tests but I can't do another and chance it not working out...I could really do with that crystal ball!
No idea when I'm going in, just waiting in the room now xx

@monsteramunch sorry lovely I don't use the CB they always seemed to complicated to me! Regular OPKs are cheap as chips and I can interpret them easily. Did you do regular OPKs aswell as the clearblues on day 13/14?

I'm out, just waiting to go home. It's all gone well and now I'm just excited to move on.
I may come back one day to haunt the anaesthetist though, he's butchered me right up trying to get a cannula in FOUR TIMES!! in the end I had gas like a child 😂😂😂.
Good news though is the Dr has prescribed Doxycycline to prevent any further inflammation which I was surprised at...always worth an ask! 😘 xx

@monsteramunch I can't seem to post a pic, but after my peak they can stay high for a day or so after. I would stick with one or the other to save confusion xx

@FfayeN glad you're ok. Was thinking about you xx

@MrsCristianoX 😘

@monsteramunch I would just keep going until opk starts to drop. That being said once I get peak I never bother to carry on testing 🙈

@FfayeN so glad your out and ok ❤️ bloody hell 4 times 😳 I let the student have a go he cocked it up so the next level up student did it 🙄 was bruised for days at least it was only 2 times

@FfayeN your poor hands! Are they keeping you in or letting you out? Xxx

@mummatara yeah they're pretty sore! At one point he started to inject the painkillers and it was just going into my hand, it's over now though. Just no hiding these bruises. Nightmare, last time they were perfect! I'm home now, just waiting on my Deliveroo 😬 xx