MC avengers, still eating cake, 2008 WILL BE OUR YEAR!

[ronshar]

Hey ladies I have been brave and started new thread.
Aquababe will not have to look at her thread opener again.

Hello this evening. Feeling a bit blue. Just found out that another one of the antenatal group I was on is pregnant. There's a surprise. And I'm sure that dh won't be particularly helpful this month again.

GOing to see the recurrent mc unit on Thurs for test results. Dh has decided that he is unlikely to be there as he is doing an interview earlier in the afternoon.

Hi Napa, sorry to hear your news, seems everyone is different as to how quickly the hcg levels reduce. We didn't try straight away after last year's m/c so I don't know how long I would have kept testing postive for. AF took 40 days to arrive after the erpc though, and after that I had a cycle of 65 days so it all took a while to settle down.
Cece, the reflexologist is in off the street opposite Sainsburys, I know there and Homebase well, at Knaphill and Farnham
LOL at your wedding description Htgg
I've had a healthy day so far, sausage roll and hedgehog slice for lunch & realised this morning I've done something very daft, forgot to put my phone number on dd1's bday party invitations which I gave to her teacher this morning. Good thing everyone should have my details on the class list, but what an idiot

Mistle poor old you - that must be a toughie - is it today you are going for the tests - good luck if it is (well, good luck anyway YKWIM) I made the daft mistake of lurking on 'my' antenatal thread a wh ile ago - not a good idea as it just made me sad. Take care

I've stayed away from the Due in Nov08 thread since I found out I had a possible problem. I went on there to let them know it had been confirmed, but just too hard to read what they are all up to. Found that last year as well, with the Due in Feb08 thread. Just reminds me of what isn't happening

I thought I recognised your name scully I was on there for a fleetnig moment too

mistle Good luck if it's today your going to the clinic, hope you can get some answers
Quarkee & scully Glad I'm not the only one, I kept going on to the Aug 08 one, in fact every now and then even though it's been 3 months I still lurk just to see

hello everyone, just popping on for a moment at work..
mistle, I want to give you a big squeeze. You do whatever you need to do to look after yourself. And it goes without saying, keep us posted about the appointment (when you said Thurs, did you mean today??)

Napa and Feb - hello. sorry to see you here, but hope it helps.

I love hearing about everyone's hol planning - We've just booked a holiday to Tuscany... much as I love the SW of England, I CAN'T WAIT TO FEEL THE SUN!!! It is such a relief to know we are escaping and relaxing for a bit.

and just picking up on what you were saying ClairePO and Notsonew, I've been talking to dh about helpful and not so helpful comments. Unfortunately I seem to be giving out the wrong messages, all my friends think I'm coping fine (they must do), they aren't asking about how we're doing at all, and have done the whole 'you trying again soon' thing, in a bit of a dismissive way. It has actually been wonderful to hear from dh what his friends have been saying to him, they are all a bit older I guess and more likely to have been through it, and well, they don't really say that much, just, we are thinking of you, and how awful. But just that has felt so supportive and validates how I (still) feel
I think I am probably to blame for the lack of support I'm getting from my friends though, I don't like to look like I'm not coping
xx

spink I too hate people thinking I can't handle stuff - most would say it's OK to let your true friends see that you are not coping well but I can understand how that can be a difficult thing to do esp if they haven't been through what you have. I've been lucky in that a friend has also had a mc before she had her DD so we can talk quite openly - this is a long winded way of saying that sometimes its easier to open up to those who have been thru what you have because they can see that being sad or angry or whatever isnt you not coping, its actually the best way to cope - hope that makes sense...have a walnut whip [passes over a 3 pack of ww's]

thank you! I haven't had a WW for years..

.. good to know I'm not so odd in the not being good at asking for support stakes.. actually, after our (very early) m/c in sept, one of the reasons we decided to tell everyone I was pg again was that I thought if something did go wrong, my friends would know, so it would be easier to ask for their help. Didn't really happen like that tho.

Good thing dh is my safe place and my rock. Don't know how I would be managing without him!

spink I know exactly what you mean about friends thinking you are coping. My close friends keep saying I am 'doing so well and look so strong.' What are you supposed to say in reply? 'No actually - I feel terrible and can't cope?'

I normally nod wisely, go home and have a little cry in private

Tuscany!! How exciting...we are also going to Tuscany for a holiday, staying near San Gimignano. Should be fun (Especially as I can now enjoy endless Italian red wine!!) Where are you going?

I agree quarkee about friends who have been in similar situations being the best support. It also makes me realise that if (heaven forbid) it should happen to any of our friends, we would be able to pass on that support.

I agree about being able to talk to people who have been through it all too - that's mostly why I'm here! I've also found that the more you talk about it, the more people come up with similar experiences - I'm finding that most of the women in my family have had a mc at some point. And it's really comforting to know that out of the ones that did, they pretty much all went on to have healthy pregnancies (the exception being my mom who gave birth at about 22 weeks to a little girl who lived an hour and a half, but then died. It would've been her third child and they just couldn't bring themselves to try again for fear that it would happen again).

PS - where is my freakin' O?????

i've told friends that i was ignoring it yesterday, 2 of them were great and just said we're here whenever your ready, the other (who is pregnant and is due at the time i should have been) doesn't ask how i am at all but did ask if i would still be able to look after her when she has her baby. got politely off the phone then cried and swore.

don't know anyone in RL who has had a mc so using MN as my support system. which is great cos you all know so many answers to questions i didn't know i needed to ask so thanks to all of you.

prePG that story of your mom is so sad...

napa that is terrible about your friend who is due the same time as you were

I also have a close friend whose baby is due a week before our EDD. I am lucky in that she is being very supportive & understanding but I still find it extremely difficult. Everything she is going through I should be too!

In fact - she is having a birthday party this weekend and I know she will announce their pregnancy to everyone there. I really want to go to the party (She is a very close friend) but am already dreading the congratulations & the inevitable baby talk. It is tough, isn't it?

NSNA that's so hard about your friend's party. I don't know what to suggest. DH and I each have one brother and both are are expecting within weeks of our due date. I'm finding it really hard to balance my happiness for them and my sadness for us and trying to make things fair for everyone. I think DH wanted to tell his dad about our mc because he and his wife had been through a couple but the one opportunity he had was just before BIL & SIL were about to announce their news - it just felt like the wrong time to tell our sad news. I don't know what the answer is really. If you do go, here's lots of {{{{hugs}}} to make it through.

napa I'm sorry your friend was so heartless and selfish.

yes, my mother's story was really sad. I guess I was about 8 at the time and I remember some of it, but I'm only beginning to understand what she was going through at the time. She talks about it with me now, and I know she wonders if things would've been different now ie modern medicine and all. Hard to believe I would've had a 23 year old sister.

Prepg - I know what you mean about possible siblings. My mother had a still birth after me because of the rhesus negative problem. I can't imagine what it must have been like. So I should have a brother if some of the things that are now known were then. Mind you, I would almost certainly be dead if we hadn't made so much progress medically due to the mp...

scully i think i remember you from this thread earlier on. very sorry to see you back it really sucks to have a second mc. the feeling of "not again" - it really knocked my confidence back. but having spoken to consultant and doc and ladies here, lots of ladies do go on to have healthy babies after 2 mcs. here's hoping it's us next!

mistle it does seem that the world is having a laugh at your expense after mc, doesnt it? 4 people announced their pg after my first mc. they are all due the same time i was - so i am dreading may/june with a passion. shall have to crawl into a hole then.

welcome to all the new joiners - sorry to see you here. but hope you get the support you need here.

clairepo sorry to hear that af is arriving. it's so frustrating! here's a huge choc chip cookie - you deserve one!

mollie, notsonew so agree about the commnets. in fact i got a lecture last week from older lady at work that i shouldnt leave too big a gap between dc's or i will regret it. i kinda smiled and said nothing at first but she kept on at it, so i finally blurted out without thinking- yes that would be nice but my body cant carry babies right now. that's the first time i ever said anything like that in RL and i really felt the room swim in front of me after that. she beat a hasty retreat, needless to say.

this af seems to be dragging on - it's been 9 days and i am still spotting! did anyone experience the same thing? i cant remember cece if you had the same thing with the awful pains as well?

(sorry if missed anyone - it's been so busy here lately!)

Bunny - my af started light on Tuesday and has now gone really heavy. Don't know where it is all coming from because I only had a week of not bleeding after my 3 weeks of post ERPC bleeding. I wouldn't be surprised if I'm still be spotting at 9 days too.

Spink Tuscany

PrePg Your mum's experience was so sad, but your so right with people coming out the woodwork about their experiences. Since my m/c so many people at work have come to me to tell me about theirs, it's like an exclusive club for members only to talk about!
Napa Are you sure that woman is your friend! What a selfish Madam!
NotSo Have you decided about the part yet hun? That's a hard one to call, hope your OK?
Bunny How did you not punch that woman at work! Let's hope she's learnt now not to open her big mouth!!

Hello to everyone else x

bunny so sorry about that woman! I fear we're going to get the same type of comment from my MIL. Sunday will be the first time we see her since the mc and she doesn't know. BIL & SIL have just announced they're expecting their second, and so I can just see her saying something like 'you had better catch up soon'- when in reality we were actually a few weeks ahead of BIL & SIL (who both know about mc). Fingers crossed she's just too self-obsessed talking about her recent holidays to say anything at all.

Does anyone have any advice RE: first cycle since mc? Started bleeding on the 15 March and bleeding continued for about 11 days. Started spotting on CD 17, which lasted a couple of days but then went away. Now on CD21 and the spotting has started again today... No sign of O yet - I'm temping and temps have not risen. REally starting to get worried, as well as frustrated!

Prepg I'm sure that someone will be along to give you advice, unfortunately (well fortunately for me!) my first AF after m/c was normal, apart from being heavier, my 2nd cycle (last month) was 2 days early, heavier than normal and lasted 7 days instead of normally 3/4 gutted! Hope it will settle down if it arrives this month(obviously hoping it won't )
It's annoying at the best of time but when she comes and misbehaves it's really frustrating!

To all those asking about first cycle post mc my first AF tailed off to spotting which continued until I ov'd on CD15! Just checked back on my chart and I had 4 days of bleeding and the rest was just spotting. My next cycle was normal though.

Well AF got me today

Claire Can't remember who on here is ttc or not, if you are sorry she got you

Mollie good for you that your cycles returned to normal so quickly!

Claire thanks for your message, although I don't think mine was very clear. I haven't gotten AF since my mc. When I say started bleeding, I meant when the mc started. I'm now three weeks into my cycle (counting first day of bleeding as cd1) and still no ovulation, just lots of weird spotting...