MC avengers, still eating cake, 2008 WILL BE OUR YEAR!

[ronshar]

Hey ladies I have been brave and started new thread.
Aquababe will not have to look at her thread opener again.

ladies been having a terrible time here. for all those who are squeamish please don't read on. but yesterday, when i went to the toilet, felt myself straining a bit and a little push and what i can only conclude is the "baby" came out!! i am still in shock! it has been 6 weeks since my jan mc and i had a scan a week after which said it appeared to be all clear but a small blood clot which should come out on its own. although i continued to be sick and tired like pg for a few weeks after (thought that was normal as hormones settle). also have pain in my right side which consultant said must be bowels. but the pain has not gone away.

it has been incredibly upsetting and i have just been in flood of tears. i am surprised at how upset this has made me - i thought it was all getting better. i've had a normal-ish af after that 2 weeks ago. what is going on?? i googled images of 5 week old beans (not pretty, don't do it) but i wanted to be sure and it definitely is what i saw. i am totally traumatised. and haven't stopped crying. dh although giving lots of hugs i think doesnt appear to see what's the big deal as i have already gone through the emotions of the mc in jan and why am i getting all worked up if it's the body clearing up? am i too emotional? i am just bursting into tears at every turn.

am going to see doctor this afternoon. but not sure if they will say anything useful.

also have my second acupuncture today. hope she will also help. i have a theory in my mind that last week's acupuncture stimulated my body to purge itself. "ClairePO" totally recommend it - i have a phobia of needles and almost ran out of the room on the first go but really you don't feel the needles.

sorry for the tmi ladies, i just needed a place to write this as not many people to share this with in rl.

bunny, I'm so sorry that you're having such a tough time, how awful especially as you though the worst was behind you.
I guess you might not ever get answers about why this has happened, which is hard. I hope the dr is supportive at the very least and can try to work out what is going on.. I am thinking of you.

Bunny Oh my god you poor thing, no wonder you haven't been on here much. What an awful experience to have to go through, just like spink said just when you think your through the worst bit this happens! Unfortunately as our dh's only go through the emotional and not emotional & physical part they can't fully understand, but at least he's giving you the hugs! Of course your not too emotional, your hormones are still going to be all over the shop, so your bound to be a slave to them a lot longer than you originally thought. Make sure you come on here regularly and let it all out, it won't do you any good to keep it bottled up inside. Sending you hugs and tissues x x

oh bunny you poor thing, thats an awful experience to go through its no wonder you're so upset. Lots and lots of virtual hugs heading your way. I'm sitting here crying for you. Hope the doctors can give you some answers and that today's accupuncture session helps.

thank you spink and mollie. i guess i really dealt with the jan mc by telling myself it was a period, just 1 week late. and this incident has just proven me so wrong.

needless to say ttc is definitely off the agenda. dh has said he wants the old happy bunny back not the one who cries all the time. i also feel like am going mad and just want to be happy and carefree again. although i hope you ladies dont mind me staying on this thread even tho will not be ttc for a while.

hello to saz and spink really sorry to see you here. but at least you know you are not alone and we are here to rant and listen. spink my first mc was same at 10 weeks - it's truly sh*t. i am so sorry. it is hard to rest when your mind is bereft. but i know we will feel better because up to yesterday the minute before toilet incident, i was actually really feeling positive and upbeat about things. just got to work to get back to that space.

mollie fingers crossed for you on ttc front - let's hear some happier stories.

clairepo just crossed posts - thank you for the hugs. x

Bunny I'd be very disappointed if you left the thread and would hunt you down, so you make sure you jolly well stay!!!
Unfortunately can't give you good news on my front AF got me yesterday Not feeling as bad as I thought I would so that's a good thing!

bunny - hope you are okay - must have been really shocking and terrifying. thoughts with you lady, and keep up the acupuncture. i think its amazing.

Bunny How are you today? I'm having a hugely bad day today, SIL had her baby by emergency c-section this morning all is well, she and our nephew are fine, but it has hit me so hard. Since we found out at 7am I haven't stopped crying, expected to feel a little down when it happened but not like this, went to work but they took one look at me and sent me straight back home, think I'm going to clean all day to keep me busy. Hate feeling like this, I am excited and pleased for them and don't want to be such a mess but I just can't control it

bunny hope you are feeling a bit better today. What a shock it must have been.

molli your reaction is completley normal. when my neighbours had their daughter a month after I had Hope I cried and cried. Even in the middle of Tescos. I was happy for them but...

Mollie hope you're OK. Your reaction is understandable. Virtual hugs heading your way.

I had hoped that I'd not be coming back onto this thread. But here I am again and I'm really in need of some support.

Had a mmc and ERPC in Nov 07. Fell pregnant again Jan 08. Total suprise as we were using condoms and being very careful. DH and I were ecstatic. This pg felt very different to the last. Much more symptoms than last time. Thought that it would work out. I started bleeding 10 days ago and went for a scan at my EPU last Friday. We saw our baby's heartbeat and they assured me that all was OK and that bleeding doesn't neccessarily mean things won't work out. The bleeing got worse this week and today we saw that our darling and much wanted DC3 was no longer with us.

I am lucky enough to have two beautiful DD's who (unbeknown to them) will help me through this. But I feel so empty, sad, angry, and utterly, utterly devastated at losing this baby. I can't stop crying I'm scared beyond beleif that I will mc naturally this time. If I'm lucky I might make it through to monday when I'm sceduled for another ERPC. I just don't know how I'm going to get through this. DH is being amazing. But I hate my body for crapping out on me again.

Sorry for rambling. Just needed to get it out. xx

GeorgieGirl, my heart goes out to you. Must have been such a rollercoaster the last few days, especially having seen your bean's heartbeat last week. It is so so shit.
I hope you get to your ERPC, but if you don't, it won't necessarily be awful to mc naturally. Has it happened to you before? The only reason i say it is that it did to me on Tuesday, and mc-ing naturally was the thing I was most terrified about. It was incredibly emotional, but strangely there was something positive about it. dh was with me, and I think it helped him to understand the realness of the pg - and of our loss, which is hard for him but has meant I feel really supported and understood by him.. if that makes sense. I know it is such a personal thing, but i did feel that I was having private time with my baby, however teeny.
I hope that me writing this doesn't upset you more.
I will be thinking of you over the next few days.
xx

Hi Spink. Thanks for your kind words. I hadn't thought about it in that way. I'm so sorry for your loss as well. Life can be so cruel sometimes. And thanks for not saying, 'well, everything happens for a reason'. I will hit the next person that says that to me becuse I don't have a definite reason why this happened and I never will.

Anyway, I don't think I'll make it to Monday as things have started to happen. Guess I'll just have to get through this as best I can .

I'm so sorry GeorgieGirl

I miscarried naturally at 9 weeks and it was bad but not as bad as I was imagining. I hope this is the case with you too.

HTGG really sorry your back on this thread, I hope things go as smoothly as possible for you over the next few days X

spink You are a truly, wonderful lady, to offer such lovely words when you have only just gone through such a terrible ordeal yourself! I admire your strenght and generousity and I truly hope that your stay on this thread isn't too long!XX

molliemooma I cried just reading your post, so I can definately understand why you have been in such a state today! Let it out, it will get easier, I promise!

Bunnie your post made me worried - please go and see doctor and ensure that you get another scan. Please explain what has happened.

I had an episode where it took 3 months for the doctors to agree that there was something not right and to get it sorted - if it had been picked up earlier it would have been much better.

I do hope that this is the end of it for you, but I know what you're going through. (((hugs)))

Hello - I'm new to this thread. Have read a few pages and am relieved that my emotional rollercoaster ride of the last 2 weeks seems to be fairly normal.

Had an ERPC nearly 2 weeks ago for a mmc. Thought I was 10 weeks pg but after a small bleed I had a scan and they told me there was a small placenta and a sac but no embryo. Think it is called a blighted ovum but also a mmc because it would've stopped developing very early on but cruelly my body continued to feel very pg - much worse ms than with DS also had dizziness, fatigue and waking up in the night to pee - so I had no idea that anything was wrong.

What to get on with TTC again ASAP but still bleeding from the ERPC. Plan to wait for one cycle before TTC and wondered what your experiences were - how long did you bleed for and how long before your first post-mc AF?

ebb sorry you have had to join this thread,yes our bodies can be cruel, I had a blighted ovum back in 2000 and also found out at approx 10 weeks, I still had pregnancy symptoms and refused to believe what they were telling me, I had a second scan done by another hospital and they confirmed that the pregnancy was over. I to had to have an ERPC, I cant remember roughly how long I bled for, but Im sure it wasn't that long, they seemed to have sucked out most of the lining of the womb so there didn't appear to be much left to bleed? I remember being told at the time that you can be very fertile straight after an ERPC, didn't help how I was feeling at the time though. I have had 2 m/c in the last year that didnt require an ERPC and I only bled for approx 1 1/2 weeks if that, some ladies on here have had a lot more bleeding than I have had, so it's really hard to know how long it will be in your case, dont think I have ever waited longer than 6 weeks for my first AF to return after any of my M/C's, hope all returns to normak asap! X

Hi ebbb. When I had my ERPC in Nov07 I didn't really bleed much afterwards. Then had 35+ days waiting for AF. Then very light AF in Dec and the mother of all periods in Jan. I did seem to be very fertile after m/c as really felt OV pain and obviously fell pg again in Jan08 even though we were using condoms.Same outcome unfortunately. Although this time I'm m/c naturally and finding it incredibly painful. Co-dydramol not even touching the sides .

I'm really really sorry for your loss. It's truley heart breaking when this happens. Fingers crossed for you TTC. Make the most of your fertile time, but give yourself time to heal mentally as well. xx

mollie i so know how you feel. sorry you had such a bad day yesterday. i remember feeling sad and also which then made me feel for being so mean re someone's happy event. it's so up and down isn't it? one day you can feel that you have moved on, are positive and then something triggers it all and it's tears all over again. seriously, if i didnt know lots of other women going through the same thing i would start thinking i was mentally ill to quote kate's dh! i guess the thing to remember through all this is that the see saw emotions are normal and it is better to let it out now when you feel them, then to bottle up and then have a proper nervous breakdown years down the road. sending you (((hugs))). sorry to hear about af arriving. will continue to send positive ttc dust thoughts to you. xxx

mistle have spent the past 2 days in and out of the doctors and they will send me for another scan, though they seem to think that it was remnant products. went to the acupuncturist and she said that she could feel a knot on my right side, and also said i should check it out. she stuck a few needles in the place though and since the treatment, the right side pain has subsided - in fact i think it is gone, such is the miracle of acupuncture! i am still going to go for a scan. i am scared of mp of course - but i had a BFN 2 weeks ago (dr asked me to make sure i get a BFN around first af) and also a normal af. did you have an af during mp? i have to wait probably till next week and the worry is kiling me!

i am feeling much more positive again after crying most of thursday. not sure whether i cried it all out or whether the acupuncture did it - i certainly felt light and happy when i came out. no doubt i will have bad days or moments again, but right now am ok.

georgiegirl i was following this thread then, but didnt write - i remember reading that your first mc was on 2 nov because it was the same day as mine. i was also pg in jan which really made me happy - new year, new start and all that. when it failed, i really felt hopeless, as i really though the first mc was a one off. dc definitely help. take your time to grief, cry, rage at the world and let it out. it is soo tough but we are here to listen and give you hugs.

ebb sorry to see you here. i hope you that coming here lifts your spirits a little.

Hi to our new friends elibumbum and heytheregeorgiegirl so sorry you have to join us but glad you've found us.
Bunny I second Emmsy think you should get yourself checked by GP, how are you feeling in yourself now hun?
Thanks everyone for your lovely comments, feeling better and a little stronger today. Going to see nephew tomorrow in special baby care, he's doing really well, saw a picture of him last night, SIL is really worried about me which is so lovely, she's been so thoughtful and supportive bless her.
Eli in answer to your questions I only bled for abot 5-6 days after ERPC, GP told us we could try straight away, didn't even have to wait for first cycle.
Georgiegirl Sorry your having to go through the m/c naturally when you would rather have had an ERPC, hope your OK apart from the pain, are you coping OK?

Welcome elibumbum sorry you have had to join us

Mollie glad you are feeling better, good luck with the baby visit. I hope it goes OK, good that your SIL is being so kind.

Bunny when is your scan? Gald you are feeling better and that the accupuncture is helping. Everything crossed that the scan gows well.

How is everyone else getting on?

Emmsy love how far along are you now? Everything going OK?

Thanks for the warm welcome and your replies about the bleeding etc. It seems to be much lighter today so hopefully it will stop soon.

I'm sorry that you are all on this thread too. I hope 2008 will bring happy news for us all.

I know so many people in RL that have had sad pg outcomes and in most cases they had much more traumatic experiences than me (as have many on this thread) so feel a bit embarrassed when they are comforting me.

I was told to wait one cycle so it is easier to date. I have two very obvious symptoms of ovulation so reckon I could work out when conception took place if we didn't wait. I just wonder what the quality of the womb lining would be like.

When would a pg test come back negative after a mc? I guess the pg hormones take a while to subside.

Hi clairepo my FDLP was 26th Jan but I 'o' very early on cd9 so I cant be exactly sure of my due date at the moment, I think Im between 7 & 8 weeks, I have been having pains in my lower back and in my right side, think the pains in my back are a result of lifting and the ones in my side,hopefully due to bad constipation cant bear to join an antenatal thread until I have had my first scan on 31st March just incase Im kicked out againI have opened my own waiting room and am hanging around until a few of my buddies get their BFP's, I'm having plenty of nausea (but I did with the blighted ovum!)and boobs really sore, so am keeping my fingers crossed that this pregnancy will be ok,thanks for asking claireX