TTC after Miscarriage Thread 8

[mummyofrb]

Just starting this as last thread nearly full💕🌈

Cautiously joining. I miscarried last week at 6 weeks. Have one DS 5. Today l had a check up and dr told me everything looks fine, but best wait 2 cycles before trying again. lm 40 and feel like 3 + months is a long time and time is not on my side. Did anyone else get this advice?

Hi @cat9 sorry you are here x
I have had two miscarriages, one natural and one medically managed and both times I was told that we could crack on with TTC as soon as possible- this was from both the NHS and a private consultant. They like you to wait one cycle for dating purposes, but as I track my cycles I know anyway, and they can obviously figure it out at the 12 week scan.

Thank you so much all ❤️ for the welcome @LuckyMoonstone @MrsCristiano @bunnykins123 @mummatara 🌈🌟 and so sorry for your losses too.

Where are you all in your cycles? @LuckyMoonstone love your name, did you know moonstone is a great fertility crystal?? My reflexologist gave me some and a bunch of others when I saw her after the MC - so sweet.

I do find these threads such a help, especially when everyone is lovely which clearly you all are 🥰 I was in such a lovely due date group for those who had had a miscarriage and it was so sad when I had another loss and had to leave it.

I'm definitely not convinced we have conceived as it was a couple days out but I guess only time will tell... I do have one DD already which is a blessing and trying to stay strong and not get too anxious about it all for her! She's nearly 2. X

@theblueflowers thanks for the info :) l read that fertility is higher following a miscarriage, and wasn't expecting my dr to tell me to wait. I think he mentioned something about the mucus plug forming better if there is this 2-3 month gap? This is my first miscarriage. I'm in Germany and now wondering if it's a German thing or he's overly cautious.

@Skylark1990 I am so with you on the conflicting feelings of getting another BFP. I'm 8dpo and allowed my mind to wonder 'what if', and I suddenly started panicking about the thought of constantly checking or bleeding, analysing every single twinge and being in an ultrasound room again. It feels overwhelming and it hasn't even happened yet!

@Skylark1990 I did know that 😊 thank you for noticing! It’s where my name comes from, I’m trying to channel some good fertility vibes! I have a moonstone ring and some crystals by my bed including moonstone and rose quartz. I haven’t been lucky yet though but I’m still holding on to hope 🤞

I am cd24 now and still waiting 😬 next test will be at about 8/half 8 but this mornings was barely there so I’m not expecting much

Hi all, can I join? I had a MMC in March and been TTC since, but first 2 cycles didn't time it correctly so technically only had a chance the last 2. Feels like we've been trying forever.

I have one DC so I should be grateful for that but I feel constantly shattered that the 2-3 year gap I always imagined will never happen and he won't have a sibling close in age as now the smallest possible age gap is 4 yrs 1 month if I get pregnant in August. I know it's ridiculous but I feel so upset about this and each month that gap widens I get really really low. Can't go to the park as seeing so many kids with siblings makes me feel like I've absolutely failed my DC.

First 3 cycles were completely random. Last cycle I went back to 30 days but very worried my hormones are mad as I have constant nausea and now spot during ovulation day which never happened before in my life. I hate TCC but so desperate to be pregnant. Feel like my MMC turned me into this awful negative person and I'm really sorry for the negativity. I guess I just needed to get all of that off my chest.

@bunnykins123 I am the same. Although it seems there's no right way to make sure it happens, I don't say anything and my OH is the same, bed late or falls asleep. If I do sometimes it has put the pressure on and then he can't finish 🫣.
I am officially back TTC. CD2 now...why is it taking so long already 🤣🤣. Is anyone else around the same time in their cycle? Mine have gone up to 32 days roughly, O on day 17/18.
Welcome to the thread those who have recently joined 😘. Sorry to hear of your losses but rest assured this is a safe space to air your worries, concerns, queries and deepest darkest (and embarrassing) bits! Xx

CD16 and I finally had an opk that looked good to me but doesn't look like peak yet but I've just done CB opk to see what that said and got a solid smiley yay yay yay 🥳 we DTD sat and mon and I've been promised a good time tonight 😂 if we DTD tonight I don't think I'll get another round out of him tomorrow but prob could the day after 🤔

@mummatara oh fabulous!! You've done all you can😊 I'm a bit jealous of your OPKs I wonder what mine are doing..but I said this was a relax and see month

I'm scared of a bfp too. When I think about it I have absolute fear. @theblueflowers @Skylark1990 but got to think of the bigger picture. I can't actually imagine being pregnant with no fear of it ending in disaster 😞

Good to see you back @FfayeN good luck this cycle xx

@MrsCristiano It's hard isn't it easier said than done to just go with the flow 🙈 your braver than me im too obsessive with what happening and at what point 😂

Welcome to those who have recently joined the thread 😊

@mummatara pleased you got your solid smiley 😃 were you using the purple clear blue? Or just the ones that give peak days?

I am using the purple ones and I am a bit confused this morning as had 4 days of blank circles and then this morning it has gone straight to solid face and skipped the flashing face! Luckily we DTD last night anyway as I just felt fertile with EWCM! but wondering why I’m not getting even one flashing day and if it means something is wrong with my body 🙁

@emhope I'm using the purple I had two blank days and 7 flashing days I was beginning to think the solid would never show 🙈 how many cycles have you used them for? This is my first using CB so I've got no comparison but I know from using strip opks that it can go from nothing to peak in a matter of hours so maybe that's just what's happened to you. It's also my understanding that the flashing smiley is when it detects the estrogen rise so if that doesn't happen until the last minute too you won't have a flashing smiley I'm sure there is nothing wrong. Glad you looked for other things and managed to DTD 🥳 do you temp?

@mummatara it’s my second month using them, was using the cheap strips before. Last month I only had one day flashing before the static which I thought was unusual as expected at least 2.
I stupidly just googled low estrogen and fertility and seems low estrogen can cause problems getting preg as don’t ovulate😣 can be caused by excessive exercise (I do gym 3-4 times a week!) now convinced myself I have a problem 😩 although I have regular periods (27/28 days), get positive OPK each month around CD13, and obviously got pregnant back in March so maybe it is all ok 🤔

@emhope Mine went straight to peak as well this month and I certainly don't gym 😆 so try not to worry!

@emhope it's probably all ok it most likely just peaks at the last minute 💕 as like you say you are ovulating and you have been pregnant so it must be there and estrogen is what signals the make of CM I think and you've got that so you're all good I reckon! It's still hard not to worry though. I thought that 7 days of flashing smileys was too much and wondered if I just wasn't going to ovulate this month 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Mabelledox ah good to know you have also had this.I think I’m just overthinking the gym thing now 😂

@mummatara yes that’s a good point about the CM and estrogen as definitely had fertile CM the last 3 days. It seems we have worry either way… too many flashing faces, not enough flashing faces, no flashing faces 😆

Well after my post yesterday about not knowing whether to talk to OH about which days to DTD, I just told him about the tests and the faces and my worries etc and then flat out said we need to DTD today and next 2 days 😂

Welcome to all newcomers. I’m sorry you find yourselves here, it is truly shite.

I finally got my peak using the OPK strips yesterday, and also got a solid smiley so it’s nice they agree. Had 8 days of flashies 😵‍💫. By the time peak came around poor DH was knackered. He’s not really used to DTD so much 😂.
Now just hoping ovulation actually happens 🤞Temps have been a bit erratic the past few days.

Also had a marketing email if anyone wants to do private tests with Medichecks they’ve got 21% off until 1st August (code is THANKU21).

@emhope How did he respond to that? I do wonder if I should tell him more but don’t want to kill the little romance we have left. I think he’d feel too much pressure to perform.
I just drop little hints over the evening that he shouldn’t stay up too late and ask him how tired he feels 😂

Got my peak static smiley this morning 😀
Looks like there's a few of us going into the TWW together 🙏🏼

Welcome @Skylark1990 @Granforjam @cat9 sorry you find yourselves here too, but it's a safe space for support ❤️

@cat9 welcome to the group, sorry you've found yourself here. We are a friendly bunch! So when I had my mmc, I was told I could try again immediately. They did say that if you wait a cycle it allows the body to reset but there was no issues going ahead immediately if I wanted to.

@LuckyMoonstone how did the tests go?! Any updates 🤞

@Granforjam I'm sorry you've found yourself here. For what it's worth, I feel exactly the same way. DD is 3 in October and every month I get a bfn is so painful. I had 3x bfps in 6 months and now nothing so feeling really angry at my body for not doing what it's supposed to. You're not alone.

@FfayeN yep we were there last month! So I knew we had no chance that month. It must be so hard for them, I sympathise that they have to perform on demand. I was tempted to get a 'cup' (wink wink @MrsCristiano) but not sure this would insult him 😂

@mummatara yay you go girlie 🙌

@emhope how often are you testing with CB? When I see the line getting darker, I test twice a day to get my static. I've not personally had it jump from nothing to smiley face but I know loads of people who that's happened to so it's not unusual. It might be you missed your estrogen surge by not testing early enough too. I exercise too and wondered the same. Chances are that you are Oing though. Do you get EWCM as that's a sign of high estrogen? I think when ttc we question everything.

Yes @theblueflowers and @MrsCristiano definitely scared of all the anxiety that follows a BFP but also so hoping for one as I know we all are! When I had my daughter it happened quickly and uneventfully, I'd not had a MC. The pregnancies this year that ended in MC all felt so different, even tho they were much shorter ofc, but can tell I won't have that same blissful naive joy that I had with my first. I'm sure there wl be joy, and hopefully after the first 12 weeks it'll get easier, but yes - the simplicity has gone! And I will try to appreciate every day of morning sickness 😂😅

@LuckyMoonstone that's lovely ! Love crystals and no harm in some positive energy. What are your tests for? Did you get a BFP?

@Astar21 thank you 🙂 nice to have this group!

I've woken up convinced I'm not pregnant... Not enough cramping and no sore nipples yet... I know it's early days at 7dpo but I had all this by today last time I was pregnant 😞 I guess time will tell for sure... If no symptoms tho I might not test tl a bit later like 10/11 dpo... But want to take the progesterone early if I am.

Anyone else taking progesterone? X

Absolutely no progression on my tests whatsoever 😔 starting to feel very down again now. CD25 and still nothing. Considering making a docs appointment as my cycles are just all over the place and it’s not right

@Skylark1990 I'm 9dpo and diddly squat over here too. Nothing out of the norm so I think I'm out too which is upsetting. I used progesterone 1 cycle and it didn't help me get a bfp. Stopped using it as I have 13/14 day luteal phase which suggests good prog levels 🤷‍♀️

@LuckyMoonstone awh no that's so frustrating. Have you ever been testing for pcos? Irregular cycles are a classic symptom of that and are easily corrected with medication. Big hugs from me, I know how utterly soul destroying it all can be.